my daughter won’t talk to me

girlupsetThank you for the thousands who visited this site yesterday and for the e-mails pouring in through comments, facebook messages, and e-mails.

One beautiful new friend asked this:

I always read my devotional from Christianity.com, but this one touched me. My daughter and I have a problem
getting along. I am always wrong and she will go for long periods without talking or seeing me. I pray about it and it hurts me deeply.

Please pray for us.

Dear friend,

I love my girls and I can only imagine how difficult it would be if they stopped talking with me. My heart goes out to you.

You didn’t share their ages, or what led to the separation, but may I suggest a couple of things?

One, begin to pray for your girls and your relationship. Take this to God and lay it on the table before Him. He loves you, he loves your family. Invite him into the healing process.

Two, send a note to your girls affirming your love for them. A note is non-threatening. Let them know what you see in them that is good, that is precious to you as their mom.

Three, when the time is right invite each of them separately to visit with you. Let them know that you want to rebuild your relationship with them, to start fresh. Ask them to share from their heart what they believe has separated the relationship.

And listen. All the way to the end. Don’t get defensive. Don’t try to persuade them to see it from your perspective. You may not agree, but at least the issues will be in the open.

After you listen, affirm your love for them.

Then take it all back to your Heavenly Father. Take an honest look at it. What can you learn from it? What needs to be changed? How can you grow through it?

But what if it’s all their fault?

If that’s true, then let’s talk some more. I’m not a counselor and I won’t pretend to have all the answers, but what I do know is that most relationships are affected by all involved. Even after my mom grew as a person, I struggled to see her as she was now (not perfect, but growing and reaching out). That was something that only I could work on.

Stay in touch, okay? I am praying for you right now.

Comments

  1. Thank you for sharing but i have one question i am christian have 2 daughters. My older one is 14 she is not open and hide from us. When i read her text with her friends i can’t believe my eyes. We have a bible study every day and she teaches at Sunday school. Please advice me how to communicate with her. Sorry for my grammar
    God Bless You

  2. lazarga3@gmail.com says:

    I can’t believe that we are so many mother going through the same problem..after reading all this letter I am just sad to hear all this. I am also, have a daughter who don’t talk to me for over 5 years.
    Yes, is like dead or walking dead every day not able to enjoy anything.I miss her so much and i do believe is worse that the child who dies..The daughters decisions of not talking to us is their own decision and it hurts the most. I will pray for all of us.

  3. Since my husband took his own life 5 years ago, my daughters will not talk to me, especially after I remarried in 3 years. We moved away since I could not take it any longer. There is no reason for their behavior. My health was going down because of no touch or no talk. I do no know what to do. It is the most awful hurtful thing in the world.

  4. My 19 year old daughter has not spoken or seen me in over 1.5 years. Up until the time she put me out of her life she was at my home almost every weekend. I know teens want to spend time with their friends, so I tried to give her the time to be with them. I doted on this girl and believe she is being ungrateful. Her mother, my ex-wife and her stepdad have badmouthed me and lied to her about me. I really believe this happened because I let her and her mother treat me as a door mat and when I finally stood up for my rights, she acted just like her mother who cannot handle not getting her way.

    I pray and have tried to give this to God, but I am still so depressed, I often just wish I could die. I worry that when the day comes that we do reconcile, while I will choose to forgive, I will find it difficult to ever trust her again.

    • Hello, I am going through the exact same thing, my 18 year old daughter left to see friends, and wont talk to me or come home. She shut off her phone, and deleted me off her social media. My sister and her friends are influencing her Telling her I am a bad Mother, and she can stay with them. I did not do anything wrong to my knowledge, I keep reaching out, or trying and I am getting no response or my sister calls and says to leave her alone, and let her grow? I am very supportive of her growing, and just concerned about her because she has no money, or anything. I am just worried, depressed and confused! Why are they like this? I keep praying and crying. She is my world, and I feel like I messed up , and want to die.

      • SM, I don’t know your individual relationship with your child or the circumstances. Sometimes it’s because a child may be in rebellion and you are trying to do the right thing, which isn’t what they want. Sometimes we can be doing all the wrong things as a parent, and somehow not be aware. May I gently suggest that you seek out a trusted godly counselor or older, wiser friend who is impartial and ask them to pray with you, and to help you as you go through this difficult situation. It maybe a season of growth for your daughter, but what if it could be a season of growth for you as well. You see, the enemy desires to steal your joy, but you intentionally walk into a deeper relationship with God, finding comfort, wisdom, and yes, even joy that makes no sense in the natural. When your child sees you, instead of seeing despair, they find peace instead, opening the door for healing in the relationship when they are at that point. Lord, help SM as she goes through this very difficult time. Hear a mom’s heart that wants the best for her daughter and their relationship. Lead her to godly and wise and impartial counsel, and fill in the gaps with your love, Father. In Jesus’ name, amen.

    • One of the worst things that can happen to a family is to be divided, and have to be “loyal” to one or the other. I pray that as you seek God in this hard time, that you will only speak good of your ex or those who are saying unkind things about you. Don’t meet evil or gossip or rumors with evil, gossip, or rumors. Meet it with prayer. Meet it with praise. Meet it with peace. Let your child know that she can love all the people in her life, and that in your home, she will never hear you say a bad thing about others. Whether that influences your relationship or not, it demonstrates Christ and forgiveness and wisdom, a powerful gift to your child. I pray that God fills you up in this difficult time, and gives you the tools that you so desire as your relationship heals in time.

    • I am going through the same thing with both of my daughters. I have not spoken to them since April of 2012. I filed for divorce from their dad and they are very angry with me. They both live with my ex. I miss them a lot and all that I can do us pray and hope for a positive resolution.

  5. I am mid sixty my daughter is 40.has one child. She has stopped speaking to me because I informed her I would no longer continue to makepayments for her on line continuing eduation to become an RN. In the last two years I’ve paid 5 thousand dollars only to find out, the direct deposits in her account each month were not being forwarded and the account is in the way past due. She says he had to use some of it and had good intention to replace it. This year was suppose to be the last year but the completion date gets pushed back. In the last 13yrs I’ve paid her rent,(off and on) paid off car, paid car repairs, bought refrigerator, moving expenses, new bed, furniture and given her multiple times hundreds of dollars because I thought she needed it.(totally $25 thousand) My heart is broken to suddently not hear from her, I cry silent tears. . To lighten her load to make life easier; to balance her out of wack budget, (which seems to be most of the time) She presents no problem with employment, NO drugs, attends church, is a great mom. beautiful personality, very considerate of others.

    • Hey Marilyn, It’s acceptable for a parent to wisely say, “you are an adult and I want to treat you like one” and let her stand on her own two feet. It’s enabling her to continue this, but her response is not one of gratefulness. Continue to show her love (notes, cards, etc.) but not through paying her bills. That’s her role as an adult. I hope you’ll check out a great book called Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend. I think it would be very helpful.

  6. Thanks for those of you who have shared your stories. I was beginning to think that I was the only mother on the planet as confused as I am by my 20-year-old daughter’s behavior. I thought we had mended fences when I accepted her marriage, then out of the blue, she stops speaking to me again. What makes it hurtful is that my first grandchild is on the way. I know I wasn’t a perfect parent, but I do know I was a loving and caring parent who would do anything within my ability to assist her. My prayer is that we reconcile soon, but reading some of these stories, I can see that it could be a longer process than I anticipate. Praying for all of you!

    • Carol, was there a time that her marriage wasn’t acceptable to you? I don’t know the facts or circumstances, but I do know that God heals relationships. I pray that this family will see such joy and peace in you that they long to have you in their lives.

  7. Our 20 year old daughter who is in university refuses to see or speak with us. We are devastated. The only reason we can gather from her is that she did not have an emotionally close relationship with her dad and this is why she is struggling with depression. She blames me for not helping her even though I did take her to a psychologist as a teen when I recognized that she had something going on mentally. She says she is getting counselling but won’t even return our calls or emails except when she needs more money. It has been months now and we are getting more and more frustrated by this behavior. We are at a loss with this whole situation and are both becoming emotionally drained from worry. Her older sister says she is just being a brat and won’t speak to her until she apologizes to us. Any suggestions?

  8. My 40 year old daughter and I (her mother) have not spoken since
    last Christmas (2011) She said something very hurtful to me and my
    son who is developmentally delayed. She was having martial problems
    which was nothing new but seemed to be getting worse. She pointed
    to my son and I and said we were part of the reasons for her problems
    in her life. I asked her to explain and shejust walked away. Needless
    Christmas day was ruined.
    Prior to seeing her on Christmas day she had been calling us and
    telling her father and I that she wanted to leave her husband and
    indicated that she needed financial help. She is an RN and makes
    a good salary. We payed for her education her car and her medical
    and car insurance while she was in Collage along with giving her a
    weekly check for living expenses. We told her if she needed help
    we would be there for her even offered to put a down-payment on
    a Condo for her. When we saw her on Christmas Day her dad
    gave her $500.00 in case she needed it for anything.We bought
    her a new snowbower because she gets up early in the morning
    to do driveway so she can get out and go to work. She gets no
    help in cleaning driveway we also gave her a computer because
    she only had one and her husband uses it and sometimes shedoes not
    have access to it.
    Long story short as I said the rest of the day on Christmas was
    strained she would tell me what she meant by saying my son and
    I are part of reason she has a troubled marriage and life in general
    We parted ways and she has not spoken to me since. I send
    her e-mails and tell her I am thinking about her and love her
    and ask her how she is she writes back that she is fine and
    never signs her name or asks how her father and I are.
    I have made up my mind I will not call or e-mail begging
    her to talk to me or forgive me because I don’t know what
    I need forgiving for. I know with the Grace of God I will make
    it. I have my moments where I cry and hurt but it’s only
    when I spend to much time trying to figure out why she would
    be so hateful towards me. I may die without ever talking to her
    again I don’t know but I will die loving her.

    • Cheryl Johnson says:

      I too have 2 daughters that do not speak to me and it has been 2 yrs for one and 5 for my other daughter. I just got a response from the daughter that hasn’t spoken to me in 2 yrs. and she has made it clear that I am an energy vamp and I don’t love her, but what she did tell me is that she was diagnost Bipolar. She has had a lot of emotional problems all thru her childhood (she is now 36). She was labeled ADD when she was 7yrs old. Then at 13 she said she was hearing voices so there was meds for that…so this has been an ongoing cycle for her. Now finding this out just today, I’m wondering if my other daughter is having the same issues of bipolar as my other daughter. I have not been a good mom when they were young and I have paid the consequences for it and as you can see I still do. I feel for all of you as I know what you are feeling…Thanks for letting me share my story with you.

  9. My daughter has always been my greatest treasure…she’s 18 now and living with her boyfriend and going to college. We have had great times and bad times. I came to this website by chance because I spoke to her dad today and she told him she didn’t want to call me with a problem she had. I was torn in two…we did talk earlier but just knowing that she didn’t want to talk to me hurt. I want to be the first person she calls…when she hurts I hurt. When she is scared or worried I want to help her…not fix it but help her fix it. I feel like the thread of our relationship is so fragile sometimes. I would do anything to make sure it’s not broken, but I also know that I have to learn to let her go and live her life, make her mistakes, fix her problems and find herself. I realize I can’t turn the clock back to yesterday. So often I wish I had done a better job of being her parent. As I look back, I know I could have done so much better, made better choices, played more, explained things better and even given her more material things. Thankfully, there was never a time when I physically hurt her, but the emotional turmoils we sometimes had I’m sure did enough damage. Unfortunately, I can’t change the past, but I can forgive myself and go on. I venture to say there has been only one perfect parent and there never will be another, but I did the best I could with the knowledge that I had. Jonas Salk said, “Good parents give their children roots and wings – roots to know where home is and wings to fly off and practice what has been taught them.” I wish for her amazing journeys and successful happy landings.

  10. This comment is for “Cindy”.
    You say that a daughter does not cut her mother out of her life for trivial things..and you, “know this for a fact”. Cindy, you cannot make a blanket statement like that.
    Am I taking this personally? Yes. In my case, my 27 year old daughter has not spoken to myself, her brother or her 81 year old grandmother for three years. We have done nothing. Nothing. Ever since she met her boyfriend, she has changed..she’s not the daughter I quit my job for…so I could stay home and raise her..with FUN and LOVE…so I KNEW she would be SAFE. I love my daughter with my whole heart and miss her terribly. Am I blaming him? No. I’m just telling you the facts. We are all baffled by her behaviour. It’s not because of, “abuse, overstepping boundaries, saddling him/her with an unwanted stepfather and half-siblings, things of that nature”.
    In all fairness, nobody is perfect..mothers OR daughters. Do you honestly think EVERY daughter that refuses to have a relationship with her mother is justified for her behavior? I think some daughters do this as a form of “punishment” towards their mother. “How can I get back at her?”, type of thing. “I know, I’ll ignore her and not answer her phonecalls, emails or texts.” Right to a mother’s heart. On the other hand, 99.9% of mothers would forgive their daughters for any wrong-doing in a heartbeat! It’s called uncondional love. If you’ve never had a child, you won’t fully understand what that is. As these girls age, (and you Cindy) they’ll get it.
    You cannot move forward if you’re living in the past.
    Think of EVERY sin there is in the world Cindy, yet God forgives ALL sin. Everyone needs to be more patient, understanding and forgiving.
    I believe it all comes down to cummunication. WHATEVER the issue is between mother and daughter, they both need to sit down like two adults and talk about the problem, solve the problem and forgive each other.

  11. Melisa Stanley says:

    I am a mother of 3 great children. 1 son and 2 daughters. I alway tried to be the parent that my kids could talk to. I didn’t want my kids feeling like I did when I was growing and not be able to talk to my mom about sex or drugs or anything else like that. I realize now that was the wrong way to go about it. My son is in the army. He is the best son a mom could ask for. He respects me very much. My 19 year old daughter and I do not talk anymore. She has told me that if I want to talk to her I email her. Her dad and I separated because we were having marital problems. When we separated she left to go live with her best friend and another lady that she now calls mom. When my husband and I separated she stopped talking to my husband and she told me that she would talk to him when she was ready. She asked me not to try and force her to talk to him so I didn’t. I had enough problems that I had to solve on my own. I had a marriage to work on. Since she has been living with this other family she has decided that I am too much in her business. He last time she talked to me was to tell me she was having surgery and that she had given power of attorney to this other lady and that I was not allowed to call the hospital to check on her. She had instructed the nurse to not speak to me. All of this has hurt me so much. I have been so depressed lately. I’m on medicine because of it. She calls me crazy now because Im on medicine. She won’t talk to her younger sister because she says her younger sister tells me everything. My youngest one is 15. She was talking to jer brother until he said something she didn’t like. It’s been 2 months since they talked. It has been since August of last year that I have talked to her. I pray everyday. I just want to be happy again and know that my daughter is ok.

  12. So, you mothers did nothing wrong? I know for a fact that a daughter does not cut her mother out of her life for trivial things. There has to be alot more to these stories that we’re not hearing. Like abuse, overstepping boundaries, saddling him/her with an unwanted stepfather and half-siblings, things of that nature.

  13. I think i can answer some of the questions… call me the daughter. i am 31 and currently not talking to my own mother.I talk to my father once in a while and to some siblings…. the reasons.

    most times when we daughters dont talk to our parents is because we are going through difficult times – mostly abuse or depression and withdraw from sharing our problems to anyone. i currently have no friends and lost contacts with half of my family. we will feel like a failure if we will admit the truth to our family, we fear rediculed especially by our mothers.

  14. It is nice, but so sad, to find others in the same situation. My daughter and I have not talked since December of 2010. My heart aches every day and today it is about to break. I just want to hear her voice and know that she is ok.
    I pray that she will call or e-mail me. I have tried but get no reply.

  15. I feel your pain. My daughter has moved away with her husband and my 2 grandchildren after losing their home which my husband and I helped provide for them, which we did with good intentions and much love. She is bipolar and on medication. Her husband is the son of a Pastor and he has medical issues as well. All our troubles started when I re-married 15 years ago, after raising her and my son on my own. I vowed I would not attempt to seek out a companion until I finished raising my children, which I did. When I met a good Christian man in my 50′s my children were pleased, as they too had met their future mates and were relieved that I wouldn’t be left alone. Whether it was the bipolar condition or the effects of her husband’s strange family (yes, the ousted pastor and wife…they had been asked to leave a few churches for reasons unknown, but left me wondering). My daughter began to pull away, although we had been joined at the hip, so to speak, all her life. She had a Princess wedding, which I gladly put on and catered myself (over 200 people)…it was beautiful, she looked beautiful…it seemed perfect. Shortly before this event, she began to take an unchristian dislike to my husband (her Dad left us, for another woman when she was 11 yrs of age and she wanted nothing to do with him until she married and her husband encouraged her to contact him). We’ve gone through years of sadness and criticism, but we don’t know why. She won’t talk about anything that’s bothering her with regards to me re-marrying. She hasn’t seen any of her family, including her brother who she was close to as well, for more years than I can count. Recently I found out that she had been in a car accident but no one knew if she was hurt, or worse. My husband offered to call her father, who lives in the USA now, simply to ask, on my behalf, if she was okay. He assured him that although her car had been totalled, she was okay, as were my grandchildren. My husband thanked him and was about to say goodbye when my daughter’s father began to swear and call me all kinds of names. He actually said that the reason my daughter isn’t speaking to me, is because she is afraid of me, as was he. He said my son didn’t have the nerve to stand up to me or he wouldn’t be speaking to me either. I was devastated and shocked. I am a forgiving, caring person and I take care of anyone in need or not. My first husband was needy and I took him in. I thought I had provided a good Christian home for my family and then WHAM! I called my son with this ‘news’ as I had no one to turn to that would understand nor anyone who wanted to listen. I told him what he father had accused me of and asked if he was afraid of me…his reply was “what?…I want his phone number Mom. I want to talk to him.” So, after 22 years of my son wanting nothing to do with his Dad who disappointed him, he called him. Again, his father talked about me and my family and how strong we were as Christians and that “I ran his life”. My son of course responded and told him how hurt he was by all this and that he has brainwashed his sister, as he sees it, and has ruined our family life. It’s a real mess and I’ve talked to pastors, friends…all who are Christians and have been told to “let go and let God”, which I am trying to do. I’m human, I’m strong and I’m trying to wait it out, but I needed to get this out there. I know God will heal this in His time, but it’s soooo hard on my husband, son and myself, not to mention the rest of the family. We need some more prayer from everyone ‘out there’.

  16. I have a daughters who is 17 who was cussing, yelling and just rude to me when I told her she was not going to get married at 17, she became so enraged towards me and my husband (we gave her everything she needed within reason, she was failing in school, missing school, so I had to send her to dads, or one of us was going to end up in jail, she would get in my face hit things out of my hands, etc. We all three agreed this was the best for her but she will not speak to me, and when I call her dad to check up on her she calls me yelling, cussing me out telling me she hates me and wishes I was dead. (maybe I should have let her get married and learn the hard way) IDK anymore I am so torn up inside I cant sleep, eat, have no will for nothing. My daughter and I always were close, but she did treat me very rudly ever since she was about in 6th grade, even her friends would get on her how she spoke to me. I dont know what to do anymore. I feel so lost and like a horrible/falling mother! Its mothers day and she never called me nothing!

  17. Thank you Lord for bringing me to this site! I thought I was alone with my sadness and broken heart. I haven’t seen my 19 year old daughter in 2 years, and she won’t speak to me. She is best friends with her step-mother who has been in her life since she was 5, and she has lived with since she was 13. Our relationship went south about 3 years ago, and is not getting better. She tells me that she loves me, but is not ready to talk to me or see me. I also have a son and she doesn’t want to see him either. I don’t know who she has become….I never imagined that my beautiful little girl would grow up and become so cold and treat her mother like this. I pray and pray for us, but I just don’t feel better. Please Lord help me! My heart hurts everyday…I want my daughter back in my life!

  18. They wouldn’t be happy. They would be crushed. It would affect
    them for the rest of their lives. Recognize the voice of the enemy,
    sweet sister. Let your children see the joy of the Lord in you,
    regardless of circumstances. He loves you. I pray He wraps you tight in His arms today and you feel His joy.

  19. I wish you the best I am in a similar situation and my youngest 16 and I were getting along but the older ones pulled her away . Now she is angry and cusses at me I feel like just taking my life and they can all be happy

  20. Nathalie says:

    I am in a close family. My sister is my best friend and my brothers are close also. Plus cousins and friends. My husband and I are still in love after almost 25 years.I paint, do crafts, have a small business. I have a beautiful houseand and life.
    Except for the fact that my daughter(23) totally avoids me. She has blocked me from her phone(that we pay for) we sent her to college in the big city, not too far away. She was homesick at first, then got used to it, but she called me and always let me know what was happening in her life. We took her and som friends to Vegas when she was 21. And she always came home for the holidays. After graduation, she moved in with her boyfriend and it seems like she doesn’t like us anymore. She brings up anything from the past that I didn’t do right according to her, like not getting her singing lessons, even though she had dance lessons. She said I called her chubby once,which I didn’t. Really stupid things like that. My husband says just leave her alone and she’ll come around, but I don’t know. It’s scary especially when I read other stories about mothers and daughters estranged. I never thought it would happen to me………I remember a quote I read once..”Children are born loving their parents, when they get older, they realize they’re not perfect, sometimes, they forgive them”.

  21. My daughter is 29years old and hasn’t talked to me in years. I have stopped emailing to her since she doesn’t respond. I lift her up in prayer daily. I have to hold my tears back when others talk about their daughters and grandchildren. I don’t reveal the inner pain I feel. I sometimes just ask our Lord to take me so I don’t have to live this way. I feel an enormous about of guilt. I put alot on her as she was growing up to help with her 2 younger sister while my husband and I worked. I wasn’t always patient. I love her deeply. She is married or at least I think she is still. I know she keeps in touch with other family members but I am completly shut out. I guess she gets enough love and support from them. I will not talk about her to other family members; it hurts too much……please pray for me. Thank you.

  22. virginia perry says:

    I am having the same problem as Carol Young. I have not seen my two Grandchildren for nearly 4 years and this is killing me.
    I have written to my daughter a couple of weeks ago asking her to talk to me so that I can heal, listen to her and try and put anything right that I may have done to her.
    My other daugter Helen just get vile txt from her, or her partner about me.
    We were so close and I have tried to help both of them to buy a house. I was so close to my two grandaughters…. I long to see them and pray that God will help us all through this difficult time.
    I worry for her that her partner is controling her and the girls and has advised her that she is best to stay away from her family.
    Its nice to know that other people are going through the same problem.

  23. CAROL YOUNG says:

    MY DAUGHTER HASN’T TALKED TO ME (HER MOTHER)FOR ABOUT A YEAR,SHE IS 20 AND MARRIED TO A MAN THAT WONT LET HER HAVE ANY THING TO DO WITH HER FAMILY FRIENDS AND ANY ONE IN HER PAST , SHE HAS NO FRIENDS JUST HIM AND SOME OF HIS FAMILY,SHE TALKS TO HER DAD SOME,RIGHT NOW WE DON’T KNOW WHERE SHE LIVES , WE DO KNOW SHE IS IN THE CITY, BECAUSE WE KNOW WHERE SHE WORKS SO WE SEE HER CAR PARKED THERE AT HER JOB WE DON’T THINK HE WORKS, SHE TOLD HER DAD THAT SHE WAS SO TRIED, SHE TAKE’S CARE OF HIM MOSTLY HE IS IN CONTROL. WE LOVE HER DEARLY , SHE IS OUR ONLY CHILD , SHE WAS RAISED GOOD AND IN A CARING,LOVING ,CHRISTIAN HOME, HE WAS NOT RAISED IN A VERY GOOD HOME JUST HIS MOTHER AND LOTS OF PROBLEMS AND KIDS. I PRAY MY LORD WILL TALK CARE OF THIS AND I KNOW HE WILL IN HIS TIME, I WILL NEVER EXCEPT THAT SHE WILL NOT CHANGE, I KNOW THAT GOD WILL WAKE HER. SHE WILL SEE THAT SHE IS WORTH A LOT MORE THAN THIS

  24. My twenty five year old daughter will not talk to be either. I know how you feel. It rips my heart out. I use to pray for God to let me know why she will not talk to or see me. Now I only pray to heal me and help me through it one day at a time. It is very hard, it is the same as if she had died. One day she called and said she loved me and the next I am out of her life. We can not change things so we have to pray to God that we will be strong enough to accept.

  25. After 14 years of raising my kids alone I remarried. They loved this man, this first guy they EVER liked. After 3 months I told them I was pregnant. That weekened my daughter began taking all her child hood momentos and stashing them, she was verbally bitter and outwardly angry but wouldnt say why. On Sunday she refused to go to church cussing at me and my husband. By 3 pm she had me in a corner punching me. I was able to call 911. She was arrested. It was her 16th birthday. Her dad “came to her rescue”. her dad got an atorney and took me to court trying to reverse custody to himself alone. After 2 months my daughter and I were improving, then court swung in my favor, my daughter became a possessed lunatic, nasty and vulgar at me alone. After 6 mths in court I won. During that time my daughter spent every other week with me and learned to scream and tell me I wasnt her mom and she hated me and her dads girldfriendwas her mom. She destroyed the kitchen at night twice….no human can comprhend what she did!!! We would wake up to notes posted aroundthe house of her hate for me.
    I sent them to heir dads for month, I cannot deal with her intentionally hurting me over and over.
    I am due 28 Sept. I have her in counseling once a week for the next year. She WILL NOT speak to me. I dont even know who she is. I have prayed endlessly but my only answer is to let her go. Any advice would be welcome. I did all thing I thought I should in raising them only to fing that I did nothing right.

  26. Hi Suzie, My husband and I have 2 grown daughters who are married and have children. After they went to college – God led us to adopt a boy and a girl – that was 10 years ago. Our oldest daughter has had a troubled marriage and last year decided it was time to leave due to pornography, multiple affairs and abuse. Her father went to her rescue and brought her and her children into our home. She later decided to return to him and we were not supportive. Her sister who lives near us was not the least bit supportive to her until she decided to return to the marriage. Our daughter left without our knowledge while we were at work. Her father was devastated because he had supported her in the court hearings. He was so broken he could not speak – when we saw a daughter who lives locally at church he still was unable to speak. She became very angry at him. She then became angry with me because I did not support her isolating her father and keeping her daughter from us. Now this has gone on for 9 months. I have taken this daily to God for His guidance and direction. Whenever I contact her – she says we need counseling. We have not had any contact with our daughter in the abusive marriage since she left because she says we do not support her marriage. My husband has tried to contact them via phone, email and text asking for forgiveness. No response. We raised these girls under Gods Word. They speak to their friends about God – but their actions do not demonstrate any forgiveness or remorse for their treatment of us. Our hearts are broken.

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