How I connected with this story. I was the broken-inside mom when my children were small. I pray today that they first find Jesus and then find room in their hearts to forgive me. My sons seem to have dealt with it better than my daughter. I’m looking forward to reading your book and doing the bible study–so needed!
I hear your heart.
When I wrote The Mom I Want to Be, my mom came along for the journey and shared an excerpt at the beginning of each chapter that shared her own perspective and filter of where she was when we were growing up.
It was powerful.
It was also painful for both of us as we worked through some old memories.
But I want you to know that sometimes a fresh start begins one-sided. You begin to work toward healing whether anyone else is on the ride or not, but there are things that you can do while you wait.
Be honest about the hurt that took place. . .with no excuses. I know it’s hard to hear and that you perhaps see it differently, but giving your grown children space and a safe place to talk about it allows them to share their perspective without fear of defense, of causing you pain, or holding back. And that’s healing.
But also be who you are today. Once it’s all on the table, and if it comes up again, you can sincerely say, “I’d give a million dollars if I could go back and I’m truly sorry, but is there something I can do today so we can start fresh? I’ll work hard toward that. Where can we begin?”
Don’t let guilt be your companion. Let God carry this weight as reconciliation or rest or restoration becomes your new companions. Being sincerely sorry and moving forward is different from carrying shame. One holds you back, the others propel you in a new direction.
It’s a process. Give it time. God can supernaturally expedite a process, but normally the process is part of the healing.
I pray that your beautiful children see Jesus working in you and are drawn to Him through their mom, and all that God is doing inside of you.