Debbie Chavez show: Healing from brokenness

Just a  quick note that Leah DiPascal is giving away a copy of The Mended Heart on her blog today.

notbrokenanymore

 

What is brokenness? It’s hard to define such a broad word at times. But on the Debbie Chavez show I shared that it means this:

I’m living in a mess and I don’t want to anymore. 

I hope you’ll check out the entire interview. Simply click and listen. Let me know what you think. In it we address spiritual abuse, giving people power, the playground of our mind, and what to do when a thief steals your heart.

Comments

  1. Janet Daniel says:

    Thank you for all those who prayed for me today. Please keep praying as I turn to God to seek His love and healing and understanding, instead of getting even, which would be so easy but not the answer. This will only keep me from growing. I love your support.
    Thanks!
    Janet Daniel

  2. Suzie, I enjoyed listening to this broadcast. I have your books ” the Unburdened Heart” and “the Mended Heart”, but have yet to read them due to time constraints with my 3 jobs, which leaves me little down time to read. One of the things I got from listening to you was the “playground” of the mind and closing that gate. I have been in such pain and unforgiveness since finding out about my husband’s second emotional affair with the same coworker for the past 15 months. My mind goes to that playground daily…it’s drawn to it as if I have no control. I was able to forgive the first affair and move on because I really had no admission from him, thought maybe I had made too much of a ” friendship”, had two little boys to raise and thought I was honoring ” the worse” from the ” for better or worse” of my marriage vows. That was 18 years ago. 15 months ago I found suggestive and incriminating text messages on his cell phone to her, confronted him, he got even more emotionally, verbally and physically abusive the more I questioned him. I finally moved out of our home for safety since every time I saw him I wanted answers, he wouldn’t give them, the discussions escalated into horrible screaming and physical abuse on his part ( he even spit in my face once) and I feared for my safety. Since I have been gone and still have no real closure or understanding of why this happened a second time, I have been having one big pity party on that playground. I cannot seem to control the thoughts that invade my mind all the time, the accompanying anger associated with it, and the ability to reach forgiveness, even though I know it is not an option. I pray all the time, but do it while I am on that playground. Sometimes I wonder if my prayers are even reaching God. Can He even hear me in my state of depression and unforgiveness?
    To his credit, even though he still evades answering any questions that I have, my husband is trying to get better through anger management therapy and seems to choose me over her. My problem is that I’m on this giant slide on that playground, spiraling down, unable to open my heart back up to him, unable to trust him or even respect him, and praying constantly for clarity to know what God wants me to do with this marriage. Should I stay in the marriage or should I go? Will he go back to her again? After all, he has done it twice! Is he wanting to keep our almost 36 year marriage due to financial losses he would incur in a divorce? So many doubts and questions! My personal therapist tells me to just quit thinking about it. Wish it were that easy! I just can’t seem to get that clarity from God on what He wants me to do, and I can’t seem to close the gate and get off that playground. Do you have any advice for me? I feel as if my broken heart is surrounded by 6 inches of concrete right now and I can let no one in but God. Yet, I don’t seem to be getting any answers from Him. I feel so broken.

    • Karen, I have no answers but know I’m lifting you in prayer!

    • Priscilla says:

      I loved the interview, Suzie. I sense your heart for Jesus and for hurting women. Thank you for your ministry. I was abused and have isolated myself for many many years afraid to live. Forty years later I want to live – I’ve existed for all these years sometimes praying for death. But I’m seeing Jesus ad my safe protector and true love. He came to set free us who are broken-His mission statement. Amazing! Today is a good day, yesterday want and I cried out to Him for help because I considered going back to the darkness but He rescued me and assured me He is with me.

      Thank you for The Mended Heart and your commitment to pointing us to the Healer.

      • It is His mission statement and He had you on His mind. My good friend, Darrin, who once thought about not living says the one thing he would tell anyone struggling with depression is that “it gets better.” I love that you want to live and want to live fully. I love that He rescued you.

    • Karen- everything you say sounds eerily familiar as it is similar to mine. i understand the pain and the need for answers. i understand the feeling where it seems that God answers prayers for everyone else but it seems He is silent towards your prayers. Unforgiveness is not a pretty place to be and maybe one day, both of our stories will include true forgiveness. you are not alone and i will be praying for you!!

    • You mention many factors here that are so troubling. Affairs. Abuse. Uncertainty. May I make a suggestion? Will you please seek the assistance of a licensed professional Christian counselor. Sometimes seeking outside, biblical (but licensed) help is the strongest step we can take in healing. It helps you see outside the “bubble” of what you’ve lived in for a long time. Abuse shouldn’t be allowed to continue, and yes, marriages can be healed, but my prayer is that you’ll find help to sort through this with strength, with wisdom, with hope.

      Lord, Karen needs your wisdom. Father, it’s not your heart that marriages be damaged and broken through infidelity. You share a model for marriage and we fall short, but it’s one of yielding and loving one another as you loved us. Bring this couple to a place where they can heal the hurt. If this husband does not want that, bring Karen to a place of healing. Give her tools. Words to say. Things to tangibly do, with your help that offers healing for her heart. Lord, if there is wrongdoing in this husband’s heart, open his eyes to your plan for him, your love for him, and your call to transformation that you issue to all of us, through your mercy, through change, through walking with you. In Jesus’ name.

      • Thank you Suzie and all others for your prayers. We will be starting with a licensed counselor this month who works for a Christian counseling center. I’m not sure where God will lead us with this… But that’s where faith comes in !! I am trying to muster up some hope. This is the second Christian counselor we have seen. The first one gave us a 2% chance of making out marriage work, but a lot of time has passed since then, so hopefully this will be different. Thank you again for your prayers. They mean so much to me.

  3. Janet Daniel says:

    Hi! Suzie,
    I just need everyone’s prayer today. I have an appointment early this morning, but I’m hurting and it involves ones close to me and I don’t understand it. I am praying to God, for release and understanding, but I it is too much for me to handle right now. I don’t know if this is the right place to ask for prayer but I didn’t know where else to go.
    Thank- You!
    Janet Daniel.

    • Janet, I sent a private prayer to you. Thank you for trusting us to pray with you. I know that others will join.

    • Janet, I have prayed for you that you may find peace from your pain and understanding from our Lord Jesus. I don’t know what is happening in your life right now, but I do understand the types of feelings you seem to be having as I am having them also. You are not alone. May God’s love wash over you and give you hope, peace and understanding.

    • Priscilla says:

      I’m sorry for your pain, Janet. Jesus is with you, lean into Him and ask Him to help you. Admit your confusion and inability to help yourself. He will help you. I join with my sisters in praying for you.

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