She had lied.
Not just a white lie, but a blatant lie. . . that came right after doing something nice for her.
The hurt was deep, and I was confused.
And more than a little angry.
Have you ever been there? You want to do something with those feelings, but what?
Step into them.
My friend, Luann, calls this “feel/felt/found.”
Give yourself permission to feel them
Just this past weekend I spoke at a women’s conference, and I prayed with a woman.
“Why won’t these feelings go away?” she asked.
As she explained her feelings, I realized that she had never given herself permission to feel them.
They had been buried. . . alive.
As we prayed, I encouraged her to feel them. For the first time she held up those feelings openly and grieved the pain and the hurt. She acknowledged that it hurt, that it was unfair, that it wasn’t okay. Which allowed her to offer them up rather than push them down.
Which allowed healing to begin.
She described it as a weight lifted that she had carried for far too long.
Remember a time you felt this before
Many times, in the heat of the moment, we can forget that we are strong. We’ve been through hard situations before, and we not only made it, but we grew through it.
When this person lied about me, it hurt my heart. But as I looked back, I remembered times when I had felt similar hurt, and with God’s help I was able to work through it.
Which helped me remember that I wasn’t alone. I had a Savior, close as a whisper, who empathized with my feelings, and even the temptations associated with them (Hebrews 4:15-16).
What is the bigger picture?
Sometimes broken people hurt others out of their brokenness. And God loves them. It wasn’t my job to fix her, or to say that what she did was okay, or try to make her see it my way. I could ask for compassion, and I could pray for her.
But He loves me too.
I didn’t have to linger in that hurt, or make it my identity. With the heat of emotion set aside, I could rest in Whose I was. That hurt lost its power as I saw God’s love for both of us, and rested in my portion.
What might this process (feel/felt/find) look like for you?
In Chapter Eight of The Mended Heart: God’s Healing for Your Broken Places, Suzie describes a playground of the mind. In what ways could you identify with her story?
Why do you struggle to “feel” it? What might happen if you allow yourself to feel it?