Sometimes I feel discontented and I’m not sure why. I wonder if I should “do” something. .
It’s not that I don’t love God, because I do.
It’s not that I’m pursuing things that could hurt me, or my relationship with my beautiful family, or even with God.
I’m just out of sorts.
So I pick up the Bible. Where do I read? It’s as familiar as my heartbeat. Is there something fresh, something new? Where do I go?
I pick up a devotional. The words settle as I read: I am God, with you. Don’t let the familiarity of that concept numb your consciousness. My perpetual presence with you can be a source of Joy, springing up and flowing out in streams of abundant life.
That’s it. Right there.
When I get to the bottom of it, that discontent takes place when I’ve let my relationship with God settle to last place
I’ve let my Bible fade away. It’s somewhere. In my car. On a shelf. Or I’ve studied, but not on a personal level.
Or I’ve not sank my knees in the carpet in a while. I’ve talked to God, but not set aside time just for Him. I’ve wrestled with that nudge that says, “I miss you, Suzie”.
And on a day like today, I realize that knowing Christ is part of who I am. I’m discontented because I can’t push him to last place and feel whole.
It’s not about what I need to do, but Who I need.
It leads me to scripture. Not as a duty. Not to mark off my to-do list, but simply to read a scripture, a passage.
And I call out. Jesus! You are my heart. My source. I have placed you last, when I need you first.
And I am filled up. Springs of living water, just as promised in John 7:38.
Do you feel it? Are you discontented and unsure why?
Don’t let the familiarity of God numb you. Open your heart wide. Let him know you have placed him last, but need him first.
And soak in the presence of God that springs up and flows abundantly.