I didn’t have the words to respond. I was angry that I was there. . . again. I felt defeated. Because I wanted to do the right thing, to say the right things, but everything I said just seemed to make it worse.
So I finally shut up. But my internal dialogue continued.
I love you, but right now I don’t like you very much at all.
Why can’t you hear what I’m trying to say?
Why can’t you see how hard I try?
Have you been there? We all have, at one time or another, but no one wants to remain in unresolved conflict.
Looking back, I can see that this person was feeling exactly the same as I was. We were in a cycle that just wasn’t working.
When we can’t work through conflict, what can we do? It’s the opposite of what we normally do, which is to:
Shut the door to a relationship.
Rather than do these things, there is one very major step we can take. We can reach for wisdom. Are you willing to make the first move away from conflict toward possible peace? This happens when we stop locking horns with another person and ask a mediator to help heal the wound.
Someone who is wise. A counselor, perhaps. A godly pastor whose life and heart reflect wisdom and grace. A trusted mature person of faith who can see the conflict impartially, who may offer insight and even practical steps toward resolution.
This is a powerful way to step out of that “vacuum” I described on Tuesday.
We find this exact same step in the way that God reached for us. Though He was the injured party, relationship was restored through the cross.
Wars didn’t do it. Words weren’t working. He made the first move. He sent a mediator. One that could help bridge the gap.
Jesus was the peacemaker.
Who is the peacemaker you’ll reach for when conflict has become a cycle, one that hurts and is damaging? What has kept you from making that move?