Dear Suzie,

I saw your post titled My Daughter Won’t Talk to Me.

My daughter has always been my greatest treasure. She’s 18 and living with her boyfriend and going to college. Recently I heard through her dad that she didn’t want to tell me what was going on in her life.

We have had great times and bad times. I feel like the thread of our relationship is so fragile.

I can’t turn the clock back to yesterday. So often I wish I had done a better job of being her parent. As I look back, I know I could have done so much better, made better choices. There was never a time when I physically hurt her, but the emotional turmoil we sometimes had did enough damage.

Unfortunately, I can’t change the past. . .


Dear Michele,

One of the most powerful things we can do as parents is admit what we did in error. Not just to ourselves, but to our children.

You can share exactly what you said to me.

“I wish things had been easier. I regret the part I played in the emotional turmoil. I can’t change that but I can take responsibility for it. I’m willing to work toward the best relationship we can have today because you matter to me so much.”

This clears the air. The battles of the past are no longer hidden or pushed down between you. It also gives her a voice to say how that affected her as you listen without excuses or try to defend what happened. This offers her a fresh slate as well.

I hear the love you have for your daughter, and Michele, my prayer is that this conversation with your daughter opens the door for a new beginning with her. It won’t be without bumps or painful conversations, but the past is no longer a barrier that everyone pretends isn’t there.

What an honest, beautiful comment from a mom who loves her daughter.  I pray with you today that this relationship heals and is stronger than ever with the help of your precious Heavenly Father.