She took a risk and tried to do the right thing. Her words were tangled and misrepresented. Her actions held up to light and found faulty.
“I’m never going to try to help anyone ever again,” she said.
I didn’t know what to say. The reality is that she did try to do something good and it backfired. It took guts for her to say and do something when everyone else had given up.
The response to her beautiful gift was criticism. Anger. Gossip. Her motives were questioned.
My friend needed a few minutes days to work through the emotions that weighed heavy. I didn’t really have advice for her at the moment because she wasn’t asking for it.
But maybe you know how my friend feels. When someone hurts you and it wasn’t deserved, you might want to respond this way:
Hit them where it hurts.
Make them take it back.
Hit them with a passive-aggressive remark.
Turn the other way and give up entirely.
Later, when my friend and I talked again her feelings were still tender, but she was ready to talk. I only had one piece of advice for her:
Don’t let someone else’s bad response keep you from doing good.
At heart, my friend is a beautiful person. She’s generous. She’s a fighter in all the right ways. She’s climbed out of an unhealthy place and she grieves over those who remain there. God has awakened her to the fact that every women is worthy of feeling safe and nurtured.
Speaking up was a huge risk. Crossing a line to offer words of comfort was another. It didn’t work out the way she thought, but my prayer for my friend is that she keeps being exactly who God is calling her to be.
And then there’s the second half of my prayer.
Lord, help her to slug ’em good.
When you’re marching into the enemy’s territory, you launch a battle.
The last thing he expects is for you to slug back with good.
In Acts 16 Paul and Silas set a woman free from demonic bondage. What do they get for freeing this woman? They are severely beaten and placed in stocks in a dark dungeon-like prison.
I don’t know about you, but that’s a really bad day for me. So what did they do?
They slugged back with good.
With untended wounds in dark spaces surrounded by chains and guards, they sang at the top of their voices.
–> Which caused some kind of heavenly earthquake.
–> Which caused chains to drop from their hands and feet.
–> Which caused a guard to fall to the ground in fear and surrender to the Lord.
Rather than allow the enemy to use someone else’s bad response keep them down, they turned it into praise.
Slugged ’em good, yes they did.
My friend is better now. It happened. It hurt. She is healing.
We live free when we put up our dukes keep on being exactly who God has made us to be.
If somehow you’ve been doing good and the response of someone else made it feel bad, let’s pray together, okay?
Father, thank you for this woman who loves you. Thank you for her bravery. Thank you that she listened to you and that is a beautiful example of faith in action. Lord, this bad response isn’t what she hoped for, but she praises You. Thank you that the good in her (which comes from You) shakes the strongholds of the enemy. In Jesus’ name, amen.
If you are working on forgiveness, The Unburdened Heart might be exactly what you need. It’s gentle. It’s deeply rooted in Biblical principles.
Just what I needed.
I have a boss with the wrongest of words any time of the day.
I snapped and was given a day’s suspension for it.
But I pray that God will take control of my situation at my place of work.
Thanks always for sharing words of inspiration.
Lord, wrap Ify close today. Open the eyes of this boss and the wrongdoing of the words over Ify and others. Father dig deep into this Boss’s soul and bring to life those hurting places with your presence instead. Give Ify such peace. Cover her in such a way that the words do not penetrate. Remove that heaviness and bring Light and lightness instead. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Suzie, I love this post. I think we all run the risk of being hurt as we live out who God has called us to be. Thank you for the reminder that we are not to fight fist to fist but to “slug em good”. Well said – I hope I can remember when it’s my turn.
I love the way you put this, Suzie. It is oh-so-hard to keep pressing on when your efforts to help and be there for someone are met with anger, gossip, or criticism. But when I make the choice to keep helping, keep serving, keep loving, I feel this great sense of peace:) God is so awesome like that! Blessings, friend.
Thank you for this post, Suzie. I have been where your friend was and often we just want to hit them where it hurts. I love the idea of sluggin’ back with good! And that is exactly how God continues to be glorified through the situation. Much love to you, friend.
“Lord, help me to slug ’em good today”. I love that Suzie!!!!! Have a great day!
Slug ’em good is the new battle cry! And an easy one to remember when in the heat of battle! Thank you Suzie!
Love this Suzie. I have been there and it is all too tempting to hit back in the wrong way and with wrong motives. We can’t control the words and actions of others but we can control ours.
Thanks for this reminder and encouragement.
Blessings, Jana
Responding not in kind, but with good… how marvelous is this choice we have! Our response illuminates whether we shine for Him, no matter what comes. And to stand back up after something tries to take us down. Your post inspires, Suzie, and speaks life in a lost world.
I love this Suzie! Particularly the idea of slug’n ’em good! My greatest battle throughout life has been the battle in my own mind, and learning to defeat the enemy there. But I’ll never forget a season a couple of years back when I felt like my character was on the stand. My natural reaction was to want to defend my name and stick up for myself. But God so clearly pointed me towards Exodus 14:14, “The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be silent”. Looking back on that time now, I’m so grateful I didn’t try to respond out of defense, I’m able to look back now with no regrets.
What a beautiful picture you’ve painted of praising Him and returning evil with good! God will do the fighting for us, we just have to move out of His way!
I loved this.. I to had a season like that friend and the Lord gave me that verse also. It is so easy to want to fight back.. but whew in the stillness watching God move is powerful
Suzie this is such a perfectly loving convicting post. Slug em back with good. That’s what I want to keep.. that phrase and the reminder of Paul and how He got back with praise. Being in women’s ministry at times can bring out some challenging relationship issues.. I admit I was super convicted with the phrase “hit em with passive agressive comments”. Whew. I have done that in the past.. Asking the Lord for conviction for next time to “slug em with good”
I think it is a great gift to be able to wait and pray with your friend till they are ready to hear the words that need to be said. When we wait with them, contending with them, we let them know that it is ok to feel the pain of rejection, to acknowledge it is there, and then to walk with them through it. So often, it is easy for us to turn that in a completely different way that doesn’t honor God and the chance to glorify Him fully really has been lost. He is patient and kind at all times, and when we demonstrate that to each other and to those who are hurt and hurting us, it is a huge testimony of grace.
Thanks for sharing this story.
Bless you,
Dawn
Suzie,
I’m so glad your friend was able to recover and that you were there to encourage her…thanks for reminding me of Paul’s example.
Learning to respond with a forgiving heart will keep hurt far from us. One of the most important lessons I learned early on from my husband when I shared my hurt heart with him has stuck with me and it is this. He simply had me stretch my arms out wide and say, ‘Father, I choose to forgive so and so. If they knew what they were doing they wouldn’t have.’ There came to my heart that very moment, an immediate release of power, forgiveness and release!
Hi Suzie,
I’m so sorry that your friend was hurt by this situation. I love how you just listened, and only offered advice later on – You are a great friend! Your advice was so on target. The enemy would love nothing more than to see us feeling defeated, and silencing us. He is a defeated enemy, and in the power of good, we conquer and Christ is glorified. Praise His glorious name!
Yep, yep, yep. It is so easy to just strike back. Boy have I been in those shoes a few times last year especially. I had to remind myself more than once, “are you saying this because it’s true or because you just want to be mean”. Because sometimes, I want to be mean when hurt. Thank the Lord He still hangs on to me and helps me be better. Thank you Suzie for your transparency. You always just open your heart bare. Blessings to you friend.
Oh Suzie! This is just what I needed to hear today!! My job requires me to do some hard things – and though these are meant to help others – my actions are often seen as just the opposite. I’ve been bitten this week by unkind remarks that have driven my face to the ground and my wanting to bite back……….or just give up. Thank you so much for helping me to pick myself up and move forward.
Your ministry has moved me in ways you will never know. I will be praying for you through this tough diagnosis. God bless you immeasurably more than you could think or ask!!
Oh my goodness, Laura. God is raising you up to connect and love single moms all over the world. May God’s peace settle in those hurting places and my your true character — that of joy, fun, depth, wisdom — reign in these situations because of God’s presence in you.