We’ve all experienced it.
Holding a dream in our heart. Working, doing everything right so it will all work out. Then something out of our control happens and there’s not one single thing we can do about it.
That’s what happened with The Mended Heart. While I wrote this book, I drove to little coffee shops or a local prayer room, and for hours I prayed for the right words to come. I prayed for the women who would one day read it. I carried that book and those women in my heart for nearly two years as it went through the writing, editing, marketing, and finally the birthing process.
A few weeks after the book was released, the publishing house was bought by another.
And just like that, The Mended Heart was launched out of an exciting birthing process into a warehouse.
I learned a long time ago that there’s lots of twists and turns that come with pursuing your call. There are a myriad of things that can happen that derail a dream (or at least it feels that way).
Several weeks ago, a year after The Mended Heart was released, I found out that it had been chosen by Proverbs 31 Online Bible Study for their summer study.
I wept. I twirled in my living room. I danced. I wept again.
Just as much as the sudden loss of my dream was out of my control, so was this. I couldn’t make this happen. I hadn’t even imaged it possible.
But what if, Suzie? What if this hasn’t happened?
To answer that question, I want to share a picture. It’s one of my greatest treasures.
Her name is Claudia. Her words, so deep and private, rocked my world as she shared how God was mending her heart in ways she never thought possible. She sent me a picture of my book sitting on her bed alongside the Bible, sticky notes with words that were speaking to her heart.
If The Mended Heart hadn’t been selected for the OBS and it had only reached Claudia, then it would have been enough.
In fact, way more than enough.
If my “out of my control” moments have taught me anything, it’s that God doesn’t measure what we do by numbers, or success, or “likes” or sales or how many people fill a church or conference, but by weight.
If my motivation is to impact the heart of women who feel broken, then whether it’s one or one million, that matters to God. It weighs something.
If I am focused on success and keep trying to make it happen when it’s clear that it’s out of my control, or try to make it happen in my timing when it’s obvious it’s not, I might have missed the point of why I do what I do.
I’m writing book #8 right now (I can’t wait to share news about that with you later).
Who knows what is on the horizon for those words? I’m going to work hard, work smart, dream big, and then place it like an offering in His hands and watch what He wants to do with it.
And that’s enough. It’s my right now. It’s what I can do with His help.