Meet Abby McDonald
She is known and loved!
I spent a large portion of my life feeling incredibly insecure.
Many childhood memories are of family battles with my older sibling, who battles drug addiction. We were constantly doing damage control, struggling through another relapse and often, admittedly, enabling the cycle to continue.
I wanted so badly for someone to say they were proud of me.
I was afraid I could never do or be enough, and went to extreme lengths to please others.
One way I sought security is through relationships, especially those with men. I thought that if someone truly saw me and loved me for who I was, I would be content.
When I met my husband, I knew I’d found the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. He was confident and driven, and within a year of getting married we moved cross-country so he could pursue a once-in-a-lifetime job opportunity.
For a person who’d lived in the same town her entire life, this was a huge step.
Within months of arriving in our new location, I discovered I was pregnant. I was terrified. Here we were, two thousand miles away from any friends or family, and I didn’t have the first clue how to take care of a baby.
The day after giving birth via emergency c-section, my Dad came into the room with news that my grandmother had died. In the midst of grief, shock, and trying to embrace my role as a new wife and mom, I sank into a long battle with depression.
At times, I wasn’t sure if the struggle would ever end.
Guilt followed me everywhere and I wondered why I felt so dark inside when new life was constantly before me.
As I look back on this period of my life, I see God’s fingerprints everywhere.
I see them through a friend who reached out.
I see them through a book recommendation that changed my perspective.
After a year as a stay-at-home mom, I reluctantly joined a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group. As I was sitting at a meeting one morning, they played a video reading of Psalm 139 with clips of women pushing their babies on swings, feeding, and playing with their children.
Something inside of me broke. For the first time, I had a tiny inkling of just how much God loved me.
And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. 1st John 4:16
He had searched the depths of me. He’d seen the ugly and bruised parts, but He loved me just the same.
I couldn’t fathom it but the knowledge of a love so deep changed me. I finally realized I was known and loved by the Creator of the Universe, and that was more than enough.
As I embraced the community around me and accepted his divine grace, my confidence grew. I saw that I was securely held by the only One who truly sees me.
I recognized it was his approval and love I’d been searching for. . . and I had it all along.
To connect with beautiful Abby, visit her blog.
Have you struggled with insecurity? Do you long to discover just how much you are known and loved?
This is just one of many aresa where we can find healing and wholeness. It’s one area that matters to God, according to Luke 4:18-19.
There are community gatherings like a Twitter party (not required, just hanging out with each other) as well as available small groups if you want one, or you can study in the sanctuary of just you and God. We’ll have Thursday night Bible Live sessions, again, just another option if you want community.
The Bible study is free. Any profits from the books sold through P31 go right back in to the ministry to help support these free studies.
Want a free chapter and Introduction to the book? – Complete Introduction and Chapter One of The Mended Heart
I’ll be there. I can’t wait to meet you. ~ Suzie