I felt God leading me into a season of greater margin.
I needed to say no to something, so I placed everything I did before Him in prayer.
Everything.
This is something I do every six months or so. It’s crazy how often we heap on things that really shouldn’t be there (or maybe that’s just me). I’ve learned that if I invite God into the process, He’ll show me what needs to be there and what doesn’t.
I was surprised when everything remained except for traveling to speak.
That’s not a no I wasn’t quite ready to say.
Serving on the Proverbs 31 speaking team is a beautiful privilege. For eight years, I’ve served side-by-side with amazing speakers who I love as friends. I love watching God work. So much!
I love connecting with women around the nation, and sometimes around the world.
That is sheer joy!
In order to say no, I had to step down from the speaking team. For a few weeks I privately went through a season of mourning, especially when I heard the news of where they’d been and what God was doing.
But now that it’s been a few months, I’ve learned some things in this season of saying no.
There are no forever jobs
My husband’s dad served on a small country school board for over 50 years and loved it. That’s as close to a forever job as I know, but there came a time that he stepped down. He did a great job. I think one day they might even name a building after him, who knows?
Yet that won’t be his legacy. It will be his love for education and for that school and all the kids that streamed through the doors.
I miss speaking, but my forever role is to simply love and follow Jesus.
In every season.
In every thing that we do.
If we hold on to something just because we think it’s ours forever — we may stay long after it’s time to release it.
Saying no allows us to say yes
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I’m still a Bible teacher. I still love all the things I did before I said no to speaking.
I’m still with Proverbs as a writer and part of the International Initiatives team. I still work with writers through P31’s Compel training program.
But this season of saying no to speaking has allowed me to dream. There are things that I have wanted to do for a very long time. Having a little space has allowed me to take a good, hard look at things that have been burning on the back burner for years.
That helped me to understand that some of those “big ideas” are not for me. Not now. Probably not ever. They are a great idea for someone else, but not this girl.
But some of them are taking shape even now. (I can’t wait to share more about that in a couple of months.)
Saying no may be because God has a yes for us.
We may never discover those yesses if we are afraid to say no.
Margin is good
My life is not just ministry.
I like garage sales.
I like digging in the garden.
I like hiking.
I like my sweet guy.
Someone once said, “Hey, speaking is a great gig. You show up and speak for an hour and then you’re done! And you get to travel.”
That’s so far from true. I tried to explain it. Speaking is days of prep and prayer. It’s talking and planning with women’s ministries coordinators up to a year before an event. It’s creating resources and tuning in to the needs of the church or women to whom you’ll be speaking.
And the travel? You spend lots of time in airports. Lots and lots of time.
I love every bit of it (okay, the airports not so much) and it is a privilege, but so is a Saturday at home going to garage sales with my guy.
We all need margin. It looks different for each of us. My margin might seem crazy to you. Yours might seem crazy to me.
God knows what we need in each season.
It’s not mine; it was never mine
There are very real emotions to stepping down from something you love. We’ll all have them.
But if we are holding tightly to something that we do for God, and we’re struggling even when it’s God asking us to let go . . .
We have to let the Holy Spirit examine that.
If it’s about Him, it’s His. We hold it loosely. If it’s about us, the grip is a lot tighter.
Is God leading you to say no? Are you struggling with that?
Are you in a season of no? What is He teaching you?
Let’s talk about that.
Suzie
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This is such an important reminder that it’s important to be seeking God about what he wants us to do. It’s so easy just to get caught up in lots of activity and things that “have to be done” without taking time to stop and reflect and ask God what we should be doing. I love how you put this: “my forever role is to simply love and follow Jesus.”
Suzie- I love your heart. This is such good teaching. “When it’s about him, we hold on loosely.” That is so so good! Thank you for sharing your heart. If I may say, I believe God is preparing your for something big that you never imagined. I pray favor and blessings over you!! xoShannon
Thank you, Shannon. <3
So. Much. Wisdom.
Susie, that has happened to me before. I went to God, and He told me to let go of a part of ministry I really enjoyed. But like you, it allowed me to dream and something better was born. Bless you!
Suzie, your obedience is such an inspiration to me and I pray his blessings over your upcoming book and ministry. Thank you for being real and inviting us in.
But how, how do you know it’s God asking you to say no and let go? It’s been 6 weeks since my 6 year relationship ended leaving me with so many questions. God has been my main support and anchor and I pray everyday and ask him for strength, wisdom and to help me find the peace he has already given me but I cannot seem to let go of the man I love and trusted. How, how do I know it’s God saying let go, move on, just say no to that feeling?
Yvonne, that’s a good question. My first response when I’m unsure is to sort through feelings. As I shared, there was a mourning process to saying no. There were times I questioned the decision. That’s all very natural. In your case, it’s with a person which makes it more personal. Be honest about your feelings. Place those in a beautiful, safe place before God. Be honest with him about how you feel (He already knows, because He loves you).
Second, I take a good strong look at why I want to hold on if I sense Him saying no. Why do I want to hang on? Have I put something or someone as greater than Him?
Sometimes the no is for a season of rest. Sometimes it’s because He’s trying to give us His best.
I don’t know your situation and I’m sorry that you are in such a hard place. I pray that God wraps close around you today, Yvonne. That the places in your heart and thoughts where this 6-year-relationship occupied are filled with the tender, healing touch of Christ.
I also resonated w/ the statement “When it’s about Him, we hold it loosely, but when it’s about us, we tighten the grip…” Oh my stars, don’t we?! What a powerful, embarrassing truth. Your obedience is an inspiration, Suzie. I love that you place everything from your plate at the foot of the cross so often. Thank you for this reminder and encouragement today! #livefreeThursday
Wow, Suzie. The reality of what you’re choosing really hit me today. At this stage of life, I dream of standing in front of women and encouraging them with God’s word and life stories. God keeps saying, “Be patient, Meg” and He’s opened doors slowly and intentionally. It’s so tempting to try and do it all right now. I just can’t. Thank you for the amazing example you’re setting. I’m so thankful to take notes from such a wise, well-spoken woman. Many blessings today.
I’m just going to be honest, no is often easier for me than yes. Obedience is so much better than fear though. So glad to have so many women of God around me to demonstrate just that! Always appreciate your openness with us Suzie!
Thanks for sharing your wisdom Suzie. I can imagine great blessings will come from your obedience to God and the margin you’re creating in your life.
Over the years I have learned that holding on to something God is telling you to let go of not only robs you of a blessing but it also robs someone else of a blessing. If I am holding on when God says let go, first and foremost I am being disobedient and secondly I may be (probably am) missing out on the new thing God has for me. (Isaiah 43:19). Also if God has told me to let go of something, I must remember this is no longer mine (it never really was). It belongs to someone else and until I let go they cannot receive the blessing God has for them. When God says let go, I must trust and obey. I must look forward to the new thing He has planned in advance for me to do. (Ephesians 8:10) and I must rest in His promise, His goodness, and His timing. If I will do that I will stand amazed at the works of His hands instead of glorying in my own works. Let go, Let God, and be amazed!. In His Love
“Someone once said, “Hey, speaking is a great gig. You show up and speak for an hour and then you’re done! And you get to travel.”” haha!!, she says, as she plans to speak at her first gig… It’s in April and I’ve been planning since November. At this rate it will be one/year for me. 🙂 I still don’t feel I’ll be ready and it’s a struggle to balance the yes’ and no’s.
Thank you for the #livefreeThursday link up opportunity!
I am in a seaoson of scaling back as well, Suzie. It’s hard to let go of things you love, but sometimes God calls you to let go and make room for a new love.
So true how we hold so tightly to OUR things, when we really need to give them all to Jesus. Can’t wait to see how he’ll speak and move through your obedience to listen! Thank you!
Thank you, Suzie. I needed to hear this today! We do hold on to things for dear life, only to find out we don’t need them to live. It’s true we can live more abundantly when we surrender what we thought was ours. None of it is ours anyway and we are not what we do. Very cool of you to share this journey of saying no to speaking. Even giving up good things can be a good thing. Happy Easter, and happy garage sale hunting! Blessings to you Sister!
This post resonates so much with me. For quite awhile, my husband and I were missionary leaders with Christian Motorcyclists Association. And, then one day, it wasn’t working and we knew that we had to step away. We loved it, we were passionate about reaching bikers, but God said “It’s time to step away …”
Thank you for this post Suzie.
Suzie, I love the wisdom in this! I usually re-evaluate in December, but I think I will take your six-month suggestion. I add so much to my plate in the eleven months leading up to my big evaluation. Thanks for the wisdom you share here!
Suzie, I so resonate with this post and I agree that letting go of something good that we enjoy can be difficult. I have had that experience more than once. That has happened to me twice in the past year and a half. The first was when I felt He nudged me to retire. I was clearly old enough, but I am healthy and despite some downsides to my position on our church staff I truly loved what I was doing. Nevertheless, I did and in not quite a year I attended Margaret Feinberg’s Writer’s Boot Camp and started my website and the joy of my passion of writing that I had not time to do for a very long time. The second was about nine months ago when He nudged my husband and I to move to a different church a bit closer to where we lived rather than where we were very very involved for 21 years. I loved the people of the church we had been a part of and served. It was where I had also been on staff for 13 years, but there were things that also were not so good that kept pulling me in a direction I knew He did not want me to go. The move has been difficult, but the new church has been deeply refreshing and ministered to us both in ways we had not even been aware we needed after so many years of serving. Blessings on you for your obedience! I am sure He will continue to guide you as you seek His council each day.