How did your 24-hour challenge go?
Yesterday I asked you to listen to your “love language” that you speak to those closest to you. Did you learn something new about yourself? Maybe you are much more of an encourager than you realized! Perhaps there were words you spoke that you don’t like.
Why do this 24-hour challenge?
When we are aware of what we are saying, we can look at why.
Are those words generational?
I grew up in a home where words fell like bricks. I had some unpacking to do as I grew in my faith. Rather than beat myself up for what I didn’t know, I began to reach for a new way of communicating.
Here are some questions you can ask that might help:
- Is this the same thing you heard when you were growing up?
- How did these words feel when you heard them?
Ask God to expose those old, generational-bound words. You are a new creation. You are loved. You may still be a work-in-progress (as we all are), but God is continuing to do a new work in you.
Anyone who belongs to Christ is a new person. The past is forgotten, and everything is new. 2 Corinthians 5:17 (CEV)
You aren’t stuck with that second-hand love language. God is bigger than your past and he promises to help you.
Did these words come from tiredness or discouragement?
When I’m exhausted, my words tend to reflect that. It took a long time for me to give myself permission to add rest in to my long list of to-do’s.
- If you are tired (and most of us are), what changes need to be made?
- Is it possible to ask for help?
- Is there anything that can be changed?
- If your schedule is overpacked, will you give yourself permission to pare it down as much as you can?
We aren’t obligated to do and be everything. We just aren’t. We have the right to see our family and ourselves in a holistic manner and make room for rest and balance. It might not look like the family next door, but you aren’t the family next door.
Do what works for your family.
Are your words a bad habit?
Sometimes when our people love us like we are, or we know they’ll forgive us, we don’t think twice about complaining, criticizing, nagging, or lashing out.
We don’t necessarily like it. We know that they don’t like it either. We just haven’t done anything about it. We are secure in the fact that they love us enough to give us grace — which is a good thing. BUT, the fact that they love you that much is actually motivation to learn a new love language.
They are worth it.
Knowing why leads to howAsking for help is a strong and courageous move. #ComeWithMe #livingalifeofthankyou Click To Tweet
Allow for do-overs
Sometimes our best love language is a sincere apology. None of us will do this perfectly, but a do-over means that you ask for forgiveness. You grant it, where needed. The old is put away, and it’s not pulled back out when you are angry. New mercies. New beginnings. Just like we are given by God every day.
Your love language won’t sound like mine
As you practice this, you’ll begin to develop a genuine love language that makes sense for you and those you care about. Some of the most beautiful conversations I’ve had are with a daughter who is feisty and fun. I never know what she’s going to say. I don’t want to change that about her. I don’t want to change that about us. That might not work in someone else’s family, but it absolutely works in ours.
Give yourself lots of grace as you adapt to your new love language. Make adjustments as you go. Add in grace. Add in “give and take.” Add in lots and lots of love.
It may take time to learn your new love language, but over time it will feel like you.
Day #10 of Living a Life of Thank You
Take a moment and journal a prayer inviting God into your words.
Q: Were you surprised at the results of your 24-hour challenge? Why?
Read Psalm 141:3; Proverbs 15:1; Psalm 19:14; Proverbs 15:23. Each of these speak of the power of our words.
Q: In what ways do you hope to enrich or change your love language of thank you?
Do you want to take this topic deeper? You might love these!
- Faith for when you have a bad day
- Faith in hurtful places
- Praying for those we don’t like (It’s okay to admit sometimes we have days that we don’t like those we love.)
Walking daily with Jesus makes us more like him.
The Come With Me Devotional: A Yearlong Adventure in Following Jesus can be transforming as you start your day with him.
A free gift for you
Download this free digital Come With Me Prayer Booklet that can help you when you don’t know the words to pray.