Suzanne Eller, Living Free Together

Living free in faith, family, and feelings

Thank you Day #20: Living a life of thank you through telling your story

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In what ways has Christ set you free?

On this 20th day of our faith adventure, let’s share our stories.

I’ll start. 

There was once a teen who had no idea of her worth or value. She was unchurched, angry, hurting. She was running as fast as she could, but it didn’t seem to take her where she needed to be.

Then she met Jesus. . .

There were layers and layers of healing that needed to take place. God was patient as that teen became a woman.

She learned that God is good and he fully understood the plans he had for her. She didn’t understand how to be a mom, but she was assured that her past didn’t identify her and that she could write a new story with her family. Sometimes that young woman took huge steps of faith, only to fall flat on her face but she learned to get back up. There were moments when the Word felt murky, but the Holy Spirit deepened her understanding. Sometimes she tried to hide from God, because she felt that she wasn’t growing “fast enough,” and scripture reminded her that God would complete the work he began in her. Now she’s a Bible teacher, a “Gaga” and she lives free and has for years and years.

Yet she knows there is still growth and truth and joy and unfamiliar territory ahead, and she’s ok with that.

Years ago my prayer was, “God, help me.” Today my prayer is that I’ll never forget how many times he has answered that cry. [Read more…]

Thank you Day #19: Do something unexpected, just because you can

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Just three more days of this challenge!

Since we only three days left of Living a Life of Thank You, today’s challenge is to do one of these three things:

  • Do something completely unexpected. Pay for someone’s coffee or lunch. Drop a sweet note on their pillow. Call that person you’ve been meaning to call, for no other reason than to say hello. Make a donation in someone’s name or support someone’s nonprofit.

 

  • Make a super short, super fun video. Tell someone about that amazing friend, daughter, mom, or mentor. Share it for the world to see.

 

  • Make cookies (or buy some and put a ribbon on the box) and share them with a neighbor, your pastor’s wife, or anyone who loves cookies and needs a boost of encouragement.
Want to join in on the fun? We're showing thanks by doing the unexpected. #livingalifeofthankyou Click To Tweet

Share what you did. Let me rejoice with you, sweet friend. Giving with no strings attached is one of the most powerful heart-changing things we can do.

And it’s fun!

Suzie

Day 19 of Living a Life of Thank You

Suzie, is this spiritual?

Um, yes.

Anytime we act selflessly, we become instruments of encouragement. That’s God in action.

Q: Describe a time someone blessed you unexpectedly, and how it made you feel.

Related Resource

Jesus didn’t ask those who followed him to change. He asked them to follow him — right where they were. That invitation of “Come with me,” changed their lives forever. They had no idea, but it would also change the world. Discover the beauty of saying yes to that invitation day-by-day in Suzie’s book, Come With Me. 

Suzie

Thank You Day #18: Just say thank you

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I used to struggle with taking a compliment.

“Mom, you look pretty today,” my daughter would say.

I deflected with something like, “Even with this crazy hair?”

Another might tell me that she loved how a shirt looked and I’d say, “Don’t you love how it covers up my muffin top?”

Some might say that I was being self effacing. Humorous. Humble. I wasn’t any of those things.

I simply didn’t know how to accept a compliment.

There’s a lot of reasons that can happen. We don’t believe it. We don’t want to be vain. My inability to say a simple thank you to a sincere compliment sent a message to my two beautiful daughters, as I bounced back their kindness with a negative. I was telling them that I wasn’t worthy of their sincere words. I was pointing out what was wrong, even as they dropped encouragement into my heart.

I also sent a message that if things aren’t perfect, you can’t accept a compliment.

Ouch, ouch, ouch!

I’m thankful for two strong girls who didn’t let me get away with it.  [Read more…]

Thank you Day #17: Thankful that God shows up when we’re not “ok”

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This conversation made me cry.

I’m sitting with two of my closest friends and they’re being as honest as they can about not feeling OK. I love these women. I know them. I don’t see them as anything but strong.

They are authors. They speak about God’s goodness. Yet when Jennifer shared how she felt shame when she came to the end of what she could do on her own, I wanted to pull her close and say I was sorry.

I’m sorry that people thought you were weak when you were being strong.

I’m sorry that you ever felt one second of shame.

When Holley shared her story, I sat quietly. Tears welling.

Out of all of our More Than Small Talk FB Live broadcasts, this one dipped into a personal space. One where I watched a family member struggle so many years ago when I was a child. I wished someone had held her close and shared that she was loved, she was beautiful, so many years ago.

I was so thankful that Holley and Jennifer weren’t afraid to share their stories of dealing with anxiety and depression.

One woman said this as the conversation unfolded: This was for me. 

Another said, “I would have never guessed that any of you struggled with this. Thank you for sharing this. I no longer feel alone.”

Asking for help is a strong move on your part. #livingalifeofthankyou #livingfreetogether Click To Tweet

I know that there are many women who are strong, faith-filled women who haven’t had a safe space to talk about this struggle. I’m glad we can be that space.

What does this have to do with Living a Life of Thank You?

Oh sister, I think it’s key.

We have to offer safe space for each other. Women step into a life of thank you as we hold each other up. It can absolutely change the dynamics of our relationships when someone can say, “Sometimes I don’t feel OK.” It can change the church. It makes someone’s struggle less weighty.

Listen to today’s More Than Small Talk conversation.

In this conversation, these points were shared:

  1. Asking for help is a strong move.
  2. Shame (and the devil) is a punk.
  3. Don’t dismiss someone else’s battle just because you don’t understand it.
  4. Your struggle is not your identity.
  5. Your struggle doesn’t mean you aren’t spiritual or brave or strong.

And hey friend, if you loved this discussion, I have some amazing news. Holley Gerth, Jennifer Watson, and I will launch the More Than Small Talk podcast on January 3rd. We’ll have some fun giveaways and announcements as we get closer to the launch, but me and these real-life friends can’t wait to connect with you every single week!

Suzie

Day #17 of Living a Life of Thank You

Q: 2 Corinthians 12:10b says, “When I am weak, then I am strong.” In what ways does our weakness make us strong?

  • Genesis 16:13 says, “She [Hagar] gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.”

Q: Hagar was despondent, but she received a promise. In her despair, God saw her. God sees you in your entirety. You are not defined by your struggle, but by his love for you. What is your response to that?

Challenge: See someone today who is struggling. No advice. No 1-2-3 formulas. Just let that person know that you care and that you see them.

Get to know Holley and Jennifer

Do you want to know more about Holley Gerth? She’s a bestselling author, licensed counselor, and speaker.

Do you want to know more about Jennifer Watson? She’s one of my favorite bloggers and a new author. You’ll love her site, and today’s she telling a little more about her story.

Want to connect with me on Facebook? Let’s do that right now.

 

Thank you Day #16: What to do when people make you feel small

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An email sat in my in-box.

The email had lots of Jesus words thrown in — with an edge. It isn’t the first I’ve received. There will be more.

What do we do when we receive criticism? 

I don’t know about you but criticism can be hard to take, especially when it’s not delivered in the right way. On that day, the email landed in a tender place in my heart. It felt like she was pointing a finger. My first thought was, “You don’t know me at all.”

Emails or messages like this are far from the majority. If they come, they are mixed in with encouraging emails. Honest questions. Stories that make me laugh or cry, and emails that totally make my day.

On Day #16 of Living a Life of Thank You, we’re going to look at criticism and explore what to do with it. 

Living a life of thank you means that we are totally aware that we are growing, flawed, and totally human. We aren’t above critique and our hearts are wide open to learning more about the world, others, and ourselves.

At the same time, we don’t receive every word of criticism as gospel. We wisely unpack criticism or critique to find what is good, what is helpful, and leave behind what needs to be discarded. [Read more…]

Living a life of thank you — let’s take a deep breath today

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Let’s take a deep breath today.

This is one of the busiest months of the year for many.

Rest and slowing down is something that we often deny ourselves, but it’s so needed. So, today, my sweet friend, let’s appreciate the moment. Let’s drink that cup of coffee when it’s hot. Let’s close our eyes and sit still, if only for a short while.

We are going to pause our adventure and just breathe.

If you fell behind in this 21-day faith adventure, you are not alone. Here’s a recap so far:

Living a Life of Thank You

Day #1 – What is living a life of thank you?

Day #2 – Let’s be honest about where we fall short

Day #3 – Giving the junk “up”

Day #4 – Speaking words that heal

Day #5 – Unpacking unwanted emotional baggage in 5 (not-so-easy) steps

Day #6 – Do we dare change our conversations?

Day #7 – Changing the conversation about faith

Day #8 – When God is telling you it’s not your assignment

Day #9 – Creating a language of thank you

Day #10 – The power of a sincere apology

Day #11 – Bungee cord faith will always let us down

Day #12 – Why we might fear having a selfless heart

Day #13 – 24 hours of no complaints

Day #14 – Growing a generous heart

Day #15 – Helping our children live a life of thank you

I’ll be back tomorrow with Day #16.

I can’t wait to see you then.

Suzie

Thank you Day #15: Helping our children discover their own life of thank you

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Living a life of thank you isn’t just for us

Today, on Day #15 of Living a Life of Thank You, come around the table with me and my friend, Julie Lyles Carr. She’s a mom of 8. She’s a speaker, writer, podcaster to moms, and leads women around the world and in her city of Austin, TX.

In today’s conversation we talk about how to find the originality in our children and tap into that to help them live their own life of thank you. 

We also discuss 4 tangles that tie us up. This conversation is honest, and has the potential to be a game changer for each of us, as well as our families. [Read more…]

Thank you Day #14 – Growing a generous heart

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I wanted to be generous, but . . .

Years ago I struggled with giving. When it was time to give, I worried about paying my bills. I worried we might run short. I worried about the hospital and doctor bills that overwhelmed our family during a particular season.

All of these are pretty normal feelings, but later I realized that I struggled to give even when things were going well. I wanted to hang on tight. I gave out of obedience, but there was little connection between my heart and giving.

On Day #14 of Living a Life of Thank You, we are going to learn how to step into generosity. 

First, we’ll redefine generosity.

We usually associate generosity with how much we give, but generosity is defined by the attitude in which we give.

It’s not just about money. We can be cheap with words. We can mean-spirited with those we love the best. We can withhold affection or encouragement, pinching off tiny blooms of a hope that has the potential to burst into life.

Praying for a generous heart begins as we pray for a generous attitude.

You might find that God has some healing work to do, and that’s OK

[Read more…]

Thank you Day #13: 24 hours of no complaints

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You are now entering a no-complaint zone. . .

Last week we started looking at barriers that get in the way of living a life of thank you. Today, we continue to take that deeper.

One barrier that can get in the way of living life of thank you is complaining.

Certainly we experience feelings or see that a situation is hard. We are honest about that with God, with ourselves, and with those closest. Complaining is different than being honest and transparent about a situation.

Complaining is expressing dissatisfaction or annoyance about a state of affairs, an event, or a person — with no offer of resolution.

Throughout scripture we see examples of this. God reaches for his people. He leads them. He encourages them.

In return, they gripe. They murmur. They complain.

They thought he should do it differently. They wanted more. They wanted it now.

They resented the heat. They didn’t like the cold.

They wanted to hear his voice. They didn’t like it when he spoke through the prophets.

They were angry at uncertainty. They wanted an adventure.

They demanded food. They didn’t like the food God provided.

They were so busy complaining they couldn’t hear God. They couldn’t see the gifts he was trying to give them. They didn’t see the gifts they already had. They missed being in the center of his will, because they believed they knew better.

Do you struggle with complaining?

We all struggle with this from time to time, for we are human. But is it chronic? Has this become our identity, or the way that we communicate with those we love the most?

Last year, I asked thousands of women to join me in a no-complaint challenge. I invited them to honestly listen to themselves in this area of conversation, and to invite the Holy Spirit into the process.

This wasn’t about condemnation, but to truly take a peek into our heart.

 

The results were eye-opening.

One woman shared that she complained mostly to a teenaged daughter, and no one else. She was unhappy with her daughter’s attitude. She didn’t like what her daughter said, or didn’t say. When she started listening to herself, she was surprised to hear her words from her daughter’s perspective.

“I threw loads of complaints at her each day, never ever offering resolution. Never, ever stopping to think that my attitude was just as hard on my daughter as hers was on me.”

Another woman confessed that she and her family had moved earlier that year and she was unhappy with the move.

She 100% believed God brought her and her husband to their current city, but she was sad to leave old friends. She was unhappy to leave her church. In the 24-hour challenge, she realized that most of her day involved conversation wrapped around what she lost.

“It was a wake-up call,” she said. “I hadn’t asked God for direction. I wasn’t prepared to step into the new. I was unhappy and I wanted God, my husband, and the world to know it.”

When we are trapped in chronic complaining, we have little bandwidth left for gratitude. [Read more…]

Thank you Day #12 – Why we might fear having a selfless heart

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Who is the most selfless person that you know?

When I was asked that question recently a name instantly came to mind. Her name is Pam. She’s one of the most genuine people I’ve ever met. I’ve watched her put her hands on a stranger’s face, and gently speak life. She doesn’t seem to need attention or praise. She’s comfortable in her own skin, and other-centered in all the right ways.

When we meet people like that, we are drawn to them. Or at least I am.

But we can also fear selflessness?

It’s often equated with being a doormat. Or perhaps we think we’ll lose ourselves if we are always focused on others.

Do you know what I believe?

I believe that a selfless heart actually helps us discover our real selves. 

You should have the same attitude toward one another that Christ Jesus had, who though he existed in the form of God did not regard equality with God as something to be grasped, but emptied himself by taking on the form of a slave, by looking like other men, and by sharing in human nature. He humbled himself, by becoming obedient to the point of death even death on a cross! (Philippians 2:5-8)

Jesus showed us what selflessness looked like.

From the moment he came toward earth, he understood his purpose. He knew that he was part of the grand scheme of God’s plan. He understood that his heavenly father loved him.

Yet he approached the world as a servant.

By doing so he changed the world forever. 

Jesus served a demonically oppressed man, and chains were broken.

Jesus sought the lost lambs, and they were restored to the flock.

Jesus noticed a woman caught in sin, and she was restored.

He saw. He heard. He responded.

The world stood back in awe. This was different. Faith had never looked like this before.

He became a light.

Right now, our world, our children, our marriages, our churches, and our faith desperately need servants. Those who fully understand whose they are. Those who know they are a part of God’s plan to love a world. Those who have a sense of self and who are others-centered.

They see. They hear. They respond.

And a world takes notice.

 

 

Instead of being motivated by selfish ambition or vanity, each of you should, in humility, be moved to treat one another as more important than yourself. Each of you should be concerned not only about your own interests, but about the interests of others as well. Philippians 2:3-4

  • Being selfless means that we hold up selfish ambition or unhealthy motivations, and exchange them for sincere regard.
  • Being selfless doesn’t mean that we don’t have interests, but we consider the interests of others just as important.

Selflessness is not weak at all. It springs from a place of knowing whose we are.

It’s trusting that God will use your life in extraordinary ways, whether that it seen or unseen. We don’t need plaques, or attention, or notice, because we are incredibly, utterly loved and we want to share that with others.

Will that change us?

Yes, and no.

We are still who God made us to be, but with a twist. God takes those characteristics he so carefully placed in us and they become instruments to change the world.

Suzie

Day #12 of Living a Life of Thank You

Selflessness is not weak. It springs from a place of knowing our purpose. #ComeWithMe #livingalifeofthankyou Click To Tweet

The king will answer them, ‘I can guarantee this truth: Whatever you did for one of my brothers or sisters, no matter how unimportant they seemed, you did for me. (Matthew 25:40)

Q: How does this verse translate to a selfless life?

Q: What is one practical way to live this today?

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