I struggle to trust people. So, even though I am a believer, I don’t let people in.
Can’t I just do this mending process by myself?
Let’s be honest, when you’ve been hurt, the last thing you want to seek out is friendships or other close relationships.
But what hurts us is often what heals us.
People may have hurt you, but healthy community may be exactly what your heart needs.
Your answer to prayer for encouragement, wisdom, for a new way of looking at life, could be waiting in the form of a friend, a group, a church, a Bible study or neighbor.
But Suzie, those aren’t going to be perfect people.
You’re right. They’re not.
But neither are you. Neither am I.
We discussed in weeks three and four how to heal from hurts a person inflicted, and how to choose healthy spiritual community. But there’s never going to be a perfect friend or a perfect group, or a perfect church.
There’s a measure of grace involved as you receive, and as you give in new friendships.
There’s also action on your part.
You may be waiting for someone to reach out to you.
This is understandable, but it’s also limiting. The people God may desire to place in your life might not be wandering down your street. So rather than waiting, reach out.
That might be in a small group at church, or a Celebrate Recovery group (http://www.celebraterecovery.com/) in your community, or a volunteer group that helps others in your area.
For the first time in a very long time, I’m in a new state and in a new church. I’m starting over in relationships. I’ve met amazing women like Holley Gerth and Amber Haines, two women who love ministry and who are quickly becoming close friends.
I’ve met other people that are amazing in their own ways — Ashley, a mom to four who rescued a child from a neglectful orphange; Lynn who is my age and an adoptive mom to six; Angye, an overcoming believer who struggles sometimes but loves Jesus with everything within her.
Not every connection with every person has been a heart connection, but if I had waited for someone to come to me, I may have missed these beautiful new friendships.
I hear you.
I understand that you struggle.
I also understand that we are mutually encouraged by each other’s faith (Romans 1:12). My prayer is that you’ll acknowledge the struggle and reach for what potentially could be your answer to prayer.
Q: What does it mean to be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith (Romans 1:12)?
Q: How does the fact that Jesus is unchanging (Hebrews 13:8) help you give grace to people who are not perfect?
Q: What is one way you can reach out and begin a new friendship?
Q: What might be an unrealistic expectation for that friendship?
Q: What do you bring to this connection?