I slip in the small dark room and sit quietly.

It’s been too long, Lord. 

I’ve been out of rhythm in my prayer life for a while now. I toss words at God all day long, but that sweet connection has been missing. I don’t know if I’ll find it today or not, but I’m showing up because I need it. I long for it. I don’t think I’m supposed to do this thing called faith without it.

And I sense it. His presence. I sense God’s delight and his call.

Come sit with me, Suzie.

I don’t want to paint a picture of me as uber spiritual, but much more as truly hungry and longing for something I misplaced along the way. 

I don’t think I’m the only one who has felt out of rhythm in her connection with God lately, but I do want to be brave enough to admit it to you and to myself. I know what I believe and that holds me. I understand God’s love and truth and it’s enough. But intimacy feels a little harder. Walking into that dark room to simply talk with him is something I am searching for, something I need. I understand the power of prayer, but I’m not looking for power. I simply want to feel God close again.

And this is the beautiful thing.

I do feel him. Tears stray down my cheeks.

I’ve missed you, God.

I’ve missed you, too. 

I’m writing this to simply say, “Me, too.”

It’s been hard, right? We love God with all our heart. We know all the things. Yet connection feels far way. Things are too distracting. We’ve talked at him, but we long to talk with him.

Walk into a room today, any room where you can be alone. Do so with the understanding that God delights in that intentional move toward him. Maybe you’ll feel him. Maybe it’s simply a time where you sit for a few minutes, letting him know that you’re there. Letting him know that he matters. That you want to hear his voice and sense his presence above the noise. What a beautiful way to spend a few minutes.

When I leave the room, my rhythm is still a little wonky, but my dance partner is not and I’m grateful for that. The rhythm will come again. I know it. Praying the same for you, sweet friend. Wave your hand if you are there with me. We’ll pray for rhythm together.

Just for you

• More Than Small Talk podcast, “Finding  Your Rhythm.”

Holley, Jennifer, and I talk about how awkward it feels to be out of rhythm in our faith or in other areas. I love this episode, because it lets us know we are not alone in that feeling. We talk about giving ourselves grace in those moments, but also how to find our moves again, even if it’s messy.

Listen to More Than Small Talk podcast, “Finding Your Rhythm.” 

 

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