Uggh.
I walked away with a heavy heart. It wasn’t the response I had hoped to make.
I was trying to do the right thing, but in the end my choice came out of my feelings. I was exhausted emotionally and it showed.
Have you ever been there?
I’m reading a great book this week for the second time. It’s titled The Emotionally Destructive Relationship – Seeing It, Stopping It, Surviving It by Leslie Vernick.
Don’t worry, friends. I’m reading lighter books as well. A Larry McMurtrey novel sits on my night table, but Leslie’s book is beautifully simple and practical. I love books that take difficult topics and get right to the heart of the matter.
I picked it up and these words leaped from the page:
From our perspective, many of us believe that misery is something that is happening to us, and that we have no control over it or power to change it. That is not entirely true. We may not have power to change another person, or make a situation work on our own, but we can exercise our will to make critical choices.
I had a choice.
I made the wrong choice.
Which leads to a second choice. I can beat myself up or learn from it.
What could I have done or said differently?
Am I trying to change another person by trying to “argue it out” or could I have walked away?
Today I place that choice in God’s hands, but I also seek wisdom on how to handle it better next time.
What about you?
How have your choices impacted you today?
What is your next choice?
My choices have left me empy,alone and struggling spiritually. The right choice would have been to take this man’s hand, let him lead me to God and let God lead us to a new life together. I fought it. I fought conversion. Wrong choice. I do beat myself up about it – every day and think about the wonderful love I lost. I could have said and done many things differently…and God gave me many chances to do so. Not great, eh? I think I now need to accept God and let him lead me from here.