A dear friend of mine just lost his dad in a tragic accident. In just a moment life turned upside down and several members of this family were in immediate and critical danger. His dad put his life on the line to help his granddaughter to safety, and in the process lost his own life.
When we received the news we were stunned, and Richard and I and others in our family stopped to pray, but there were no words.
There’s just something about death that makes you look at life.
When I first met my friend the first thing I thought was “this is a man of integrity”. The second thing I thought was that this was a person who loved his family. That love isn’t just splashed with photos and witty sayings on Facebook, it’s integrated into his relationship with his wife and young son and daughter. He lives a life that says “you matter” even though he’s in ministry and that demand pulls on him.
When I met his dad a few years ago, I got it.
He had learned the art of loving and living well from his dad. His father loves his son and grandchildren and daughter-in-law fiercely. I learned later they called him the gentle giant. A trait that could easily describe his son, my friend.
He loved God, and it was reflected in his life more than in his church attendance. It showed up in his words. In his actions. And in the end, he gave his life for those he loved.
What an example of how to love in all the right ways.
Lord, may I love my children and husband and grandbabies in such a way that my words are not needed. May generations after seek you because of my love for you. There are times I fail but today is a new day. Thank you for each one of my beautiful family members. Let me truly love them with your love, in Jesus’ name.
What a blessing your post was today. Usually I can hold myself together very well but with one particular person it has been very difficult for me. This is so important because this is my future son in law! The problem is that he says hurtful things to me, which he considers a joke (at least I think he does) but the insults just keep coming rapid fire. I’m so unused to this type of behavior that my response this past weekend was to fire one back at him. I am so ashamed. He calls me a “holy roller” and I fire a comment back, what kind of Christian am I? What example am I setting. Even though it was just one comment, his entire perception of me has likely changed to “Oh,yeah she’s a “real” christian all right.
I know Jesus command, and I know the bible verses for holding and watching your tongue but I’ve never had this type of relationship before and it’s just so very difficult. Please pray for me. I would love to win a copy of “Unglued” because that’s how I’m feeling in this relationship. Secretly, I kind of don’t want this fellow for a son in law, but I know it’s going to happen, so I’ll need to find a way to use my voice positively. Thanks Suzanne.
Thank you for your perspective on “living life well”. Pausing to reflect on the lives of the folks you described humbled me. I too struggle with folks (one in particular) who verbally lash out at me. I do not like conflict and therefore go into defense mode sometimes coming back at the person or later expressing my frustration to another (God probably sees this as gossip and is unhappy with me). I become unhinged and unglued with a pounding heart rate. Because I am a Nurse I understand the stress response effects on the body. God designed this magnificent mechanism to help us respond to danger or emergencies, etc., but he planned for us activate that response selectively not regularly. I read the into chapters of Unglued. I saw myself in. Lysa’s mirror. Her explosion over towels was a carbon copy of my response to many insignificant situations. Rarely do I connect with an author in the first chapter. Please enter me in the book drawing!!!!!!
My heart hurts for the reader dealing with verbal attacks by her future son-in-law. My attacks come from a coworker and are more in the form of passive aggression. The coworker has many life stressors. She also has a personality type where rules, organization, clear guidelines constantly, etc. are required. This scenario is not realistic for our medical work setting.
Please pray that I will extend grace as you and God instruct. Please pray that I will not receive the passive aggression personally but see it as a reflection of her life stressors and anxiety about unclear rules. Please pray that I will learn new strategies to divert explosion over towels…….
Although I do not have any insight into the future son-in-law issue mentioned by another reader.