Have you ever had someone point out a problem and your instant response is, “That’s them, not me.”
The problem with that is that very rarely is it all the other person’s responsibility for the wrong.
Wait a minute, Suzie.
What about cases of addiction, where that person controls the situation with their destructive behavior?
What about the girl who can’t seem to control her tongue? That’s not my fault, right?
It’s not about fault. That’s key.
It’s about examining your part in a continual battle. Maybe your part is to stop allowing another person’s addiction to define your life. Maybe it’s praying for that girl and for your relationship, or being truthful with a gentle response instead of listening and walking away irked.
We can only change our contribution to the relationship, so pointing fingers at everyone else leaves us just as stuck as the other person.
So, today. Stop pointing. Stop saying it’s everyone else’s issues that create the conflict. How can you grow through this? Not easy, right? I so get that, because it’s right where I have been at times (more than I want to be).
Let’s change the lingo from “It’s them, not me” to “It’s us, change me”.
Suzie, you are so right on. I’m so thankful God showed me this and it didn’t take me years to figure out and blame my son for his addiction. I am having to take a look at my enabling behavior and look at how I contributed to his addiction and what need it filled in me. Oh so painful but at least I’m no longer stuck in, “It’s all his fault”. It’s not. I played a major role. This revelation hurts so bad as I walk through a process of looking at my own stuff. OUCH! But I praise God that I could have been stuck in blaming for a long, long time. God bless you for sharing and being bold enough to share TRUTH. I am holding onto the truth shall set me free. I want to be free of my son’s addiciton controling how i feel. Thank you for giving me a new prayer. God bless you and yours.
Im Tracy from Malaysia.
Its amazing how I found your blog thru facebook Proverbs 31 Ministries!
I clicked at your blog the minute I saw your sweet smiling face!
thank you for being a great blessings to many people!
Tell u a little secret, I hope I can be an author one day, to write christian article that inspire people! My quote for life is “choose to be inspired”.
Im enlightened when I read your article. thank you.
may God bless u & continue to expand your circle of influence!!! hugs