If you came over from Encouragement for Today, I’m so glad you joined us today. You’ve landed smack in the middle of our second week of The Unburdened Heart: Finding the Freedom of Forgiveness study. Why don’t you hang out with us today? Or better yet, check out last week’s study, and sign up for the next few weeks. It’s totally free.
Today’s devo shared a time that others came alongside me as a young believer and walked with me in my faith, prayed with me, and loved me. Today, I love nothing more than seeing someone find freedom as they discover the power of transformation, with God’s help.
On Monday we looked at one step we can take. We can shift the focus from our exterior needs (the obvious symptoms or those everyone else sees) to the interior.
In a sense, we begin by surrendering our thoughts, our feelings, and our woundedness to God. It’s just one step, but. . .
Surrendering to God means you are no longer stuck.
You haven’t come the whole way. There are challenges ahead.
It doesn’t mean that there won’t be times when it is is painful. But you are moving forward. One little step one day. One huge step the next. Perhaps you are surprised one day when you encounter a person, a place, and those old feelings fail to rise to the surface.
That’s faith! That’s growth!
As I wrote this book I invited five women in all stages of forgiving to join me and to read through each chapter.
At one point or another it was beautiful to see them come to the point of surrender.
Here’s what three of them wanted to share with you today. This is their journey. Each of them started their journey at different places, but each also had a point of surrender. It won’t be the first, but it was a step forward.
Janie
When Suzie first asked if a group of people would join her while she wrote her latest book, I volunteered right away.
It dealt with a subject that I had been struggling with for a while. It seemed life just kept handing me disappointments that even though I have been a Christian for many years, I was having trouble forgetting. I had been in prayer alot asking God to remove the hard stone of unforgiveness and offense that was building in me.
Each chapter I read made me dig deeper into myself, and realize that for each situation of unforgiveness I was holding onto, my heart was getting harder and harder.
I think it was chapter four or five that I found myself breaking down in tears. I realized that God was letting me know I was moving closer and closer to the enemy’s camp and that my hardness was blocking my joy. I wasn’t a very good ambassador for Christ. I had to forgive.
Story after story, a tool of sorts was given to help me forgive. It was liberating. Freedom started to come and the burden in my heart started to lift. When I have days where I start to dwell on the past hurts and offenses I will think about this book and how God comes through in its page saying “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” John 10:10.
I want life more abundantly so I choose forgiveness.
FROM SUZIE: Can you see the point of surrender in Janie’s story? Now, share a moment this week that you’ve surrendered, even if it’s a baby step.
Megan
Just reading that Suzie’s book is about forgiveness stirred a thousand emotions in me. There’s something inside of me that still needs healing. I had made a lot of progress, but wasn’t done yet.
I hoped that reading The Unburdened Heart, that it would help heal some of those places in me that are still a little (or a lot) raw. Places that still flare up with anger, resentment, or even sadness whenever I think about them.
So I began reading, and I found myself eagerly awaiting each chapter. It was painful, but each time I read and opened my heart the best I could to the Holy Spirit’s speaking to me. I heard His voice. And the things He told me through the words in the book, as well as His own words were beautiful, perfect, and specifically tailored just for me in my situation.
I highlighted meaningful parts in the introduction, and I haven’t stopped since. God has used this book to bring things up that He wants to heal in me; to reveal areas of my own sin; and to minister His perfect comfort to me as only He can.
From Suzie: One woman shared last week that reading the first words in this book caused both dread and excitement. Can you relate? Why do you think we struggle with the idea of forgiving?
Vickie
This book honestly changed my life. When I started it, I was shackled by bitterness and burdened with a number of hurts. I had become a person I neither recognized nor liked, and though I knew I was heading in the wrong direction, I had no idea how to change.
It helped that someone was willing to share her own hurts and to shine the light of God’s truth on the dark places in my heart. This revealed a hope I had forgotten existed. It opened my eyes to the freedom found in forgiveness and the inherent joy of obedience.
The honest discussions and practical applications of scripture comforted and challenged in equal measure, and helped to tear down barriers I had erected around my heart. It changed my understanding of God’s amazing grace and breathed new life into my relationships. I thank God for this journey.
From Suzie: Sometimes we surrender as scripture becomes clear or fresh. What is one scripture that spoke to you this week?
Hi, Great testimonies! It is great to have some examples.
Suzie, Your words on Monday really helped me!
“Holly, what if you chose, just for this week, not picture what it looks like, but just to surrender to whatever God has for you. It’s letting Him into the heart. It’s inviting Him into the hurt. It’s offering Him the lingering sense of loss. Don’t make it too hard today, sis. Just relax in where He’s taking you.”
I read this and… this is going to sound strange, but I focused on opening my heart for the Lord to take the pain and I literally felt a little like when you spray antiseptic on a wound. But anyway.. I have been doing that, whenever I start to feel sad, I seek the Lord for comfort. This morning I woke and started thinking “What If’s” and I just relaxed and said nope I’m not thinking about what if’s and I pictured the Lord laying with me and I peacefully rested in that.
I don’t know what will happen Sunday, I don’t even want to go to church anymore because it’s no fun how like you said places even bring stir up old feelings. But for right now I am pushing that to the side and trying to rest in the Lord and give up all the ouchie and hurty things to Him.
Oh and – I looked on my kindle this morning and I now have the whole book! woo hoo!
Great testimonies! You asked us to identify areas of surrender. I can think of 2. These pertain to the conflict that I had with my friend at church.
The first was that I had written several confrontational emails to this friend. However, I never sent them. I seriously considered sending them. But instead, I completely deleted the drafts. I guess this is one first step in letting go.
The other is that I have been going out of my way to avoid her. I haven’t gotten over this part yet…there is still some deliberate avoiding going on. But I decided to sign up for the ladies retreat through my church, knowing full well that she will be there. I debated on whether to go or not. I was leaning towards not going because I knew that she would be there. However, I’ve always enjoyed going to my church’s ladies retreat in the past. Everything about the retreat…the topic, speaker, the missions we plan to support…all of it had my name all over it. It was something I could afford and it’s only an hour away. Several people had even asked if I would be going. Because of all of this, I decided to go. I don’t want my resentfulness of this friend prevent me from receiving a blessing or a thought this retreat that God might intend for me to have.
And there was something in Chapter 1’s reading that really fits into this. When you said “Forgiveness is liberty. It cuts all ties that prevent you from discovering who you were intended to be from the very beginning. It lightens the baggage you’ve been carrying. It opens your eyes to the opportunities around you.” And I thought, “If I had refused to go on this retreat, would I have prevented myself from discovering who God intended for me to be?”
“…the inherent joy of obedience…(Vickie). I never thought about it that way! It does bring joy in my heart to know that I am obeying God, doing things His way instead of my own way. I tend to re-hash old conversations in my mind, stirring up all those negative emotions over and over again. Now, I stop myself and say a prayer, giving it to God. I haven’t mastered it yet, but as Suzie says, “baby steps”. The verse that spoke the most to me this week is Mark 10:50-Bartimaeus threw off his coat and ran to Jesus. He “threw off” those things which made him stuck. I think that I struggle with forgiving because I don’t want others to see me as weak or vunerable. (I know that’s not true though!)
John 10:10 Also I have been repeating I am a new creation in Christ. I am so eager to lay all this pain, shame and guilt at the foot of Jesus. To be released from my past and be free. To stop calling my self broken and wounded. To see my self threw the eyes of Christ and then to pass all that love on.
Thank you so much and GOD bless you all.
In response to sharing a moment this week where I have surrendered. A baby step today. The past few weeks at work have been very stressful for our dept with added workload, the stress has been building. I have a co-worker who I have allowed and participated in gossip with. I have been down on myself for participating and not having the courage to tell her that I choose not to hear. Today I surrendered all my thoughts and feelings to God, praying to stay focused on His love and calling on Jesus’ name throughout the day. At day’s end not once did I participate, nor did my co-worker come into my cube to gossip. Also in response to scripture I would have to say James: 4:8 – Draw near to me and He will draw near to you”. It was powerful as I stayed focused and kept asking God to let me get thru the day without conflict, without gossip. Praising Him and thanking you Suzie for the insight you bring in this study. I have a long way to go, but I choose to Stand, to pick up my mat, to Walk (step by step, hour by hour, day by day with Jesus and to Praise God for the work He is doing in me this very moment.
I praise Him for your victory, my friend! Amen and Amen!
After 26 years of marriage, I suspected my husband was having an affair, so I put a listening device in his truck. I could hear him speaking to someone addressing the person as you. When I confronted him, he claimed he was talking to himself and got very violent throwing things at me. He says I invaded his privacy. Afterward he apologized for getting so mad and noticeably changed . He started reading his Bible more and actually got baptized again. I want to believe he has changed but because I feel like he never told me the truth I am stuck. He went from being very distant and admittedly looking at Internet pornograpy to getting up early to read his Bible. I can forgive but trusting is another matter. My lack of trust in him has caused tension for several years now. Counseling didn’t help either he continued to say he was talking to himself, and I continued to not believe him. Sometimes I forgive him and my anger susides but my lack of trust in him brings the anger back. I have prayed and prayed. At times I have completely surrendered to God and felt free only to start wondering again is what lI forgave him for in the past or could it still be going on. Because of the lack of trust every time he calls working late I suspect. If he is gone to the store to long I suspect. This has caused us to say hurtful things back and forth for a couple of years now. How can we get past this?
Megan wrote about this process being painful. That is what I feel. It is painful to forgive. It is so hard to be around people that you don’t respect. I am dealing with issues with the pastor at my church. I cannot even say “My Pastor” because I do not see him as any sort of spiritual leader for myself. There are so many adjectives I could use to describe this man, but I would be sinning if I explained it. I am trying very hard to tame my tongue. I would not attend this church if I had a choice. But my husband is on the church council, along with my father in law. His parents helped start the church. So I sit during the sermon and think “phoney phoney phoney’ in my head the whole time he is speaking. I know I am bitter and disappointed to be stuck in a situation like this. I have been trying to pray for him. My heart isn’t really in it though, if I was to be really honest about it. I am hopeful that I can find a way to but aside my feelings toward this man and sit in church next to my husband and be obedient.
Many people attend a different church than their husband attends. For over two years my husband and I have attended different churches. This is God’s answer and plan for me and maybe also for you. Please pray about it. It was a hard thing at first for me, but now a great blessing!
I feel really silly asking this but, is there a video each time?
The emails I’m getting ,will they take me to the video and lesson.
I soooo do not want to miss anything. I’m so hungry for this bible study.
Thank you so much!!
What Vickie shared really hit home for me. It was as if she was describing me! ” I was shackled by bitterness and burdened with a number of hurts. I had become a person I neither recognized nor liked, and though I knew I was heading in the wrong direction, I had no idea how to change.”
There is so much change that needs to take place in my heart. Thank you, Susie, for showing me how forgiveness is about surrender. I have been trying to do it on my own strength while God has been patiently waiting for me to surrender to Him. So thankful that He hasn’t given up on me!! Now that’s GRACE!!
Every morning I wake up, pray and surrender my day to God. Of course, it doesnt always happen that way because of the memories/circumstances that arise. BUT, when I catch myself wondering or thinking of my ex-husband and his new life I say a prayer and demand these thoughts be removed in Jesus Christs name. It does help, but again its baby steps and every day will and is starting to get fewer.
This is off topic of the above but my hardest problem right now is praying blessings over my ex-husband. He left me and our kids for another woman (its been 5 months) and he is hitting rock bottom (lost his job, possibly drugs etc..)
How can I pray blessings over him when I want him and her to fail??
I still care but I want to move on and forget about him completely because that’s what he has done to us. I know the first step is forgiving him and all involved but it is SO HARD.
I want to be free and live the life of forgiveness and joy.
I am loving this book and the study, I am working on opening my heart to forgiveness and following God’s will for us.
Its not what was, but what can be!!!
Next week and the week after we’ll take this deeper, but one of the underlying words in forgive is aphiemi (ah-fay-eh-me) and it means to give up a debt, to send away, to exchange one thing for another. In this instance, it appears that there is nothing you can do to change this husband and father’s choices, so sometimes that means we can only punish them in our hearts, in our thoughts. . . but who pays the price for that?
Blessings that you pray may be the ultimate blessing — to know Christ and His love and for his life to be transformed by that love.
Also, I want you to know that forgiving is one of the hardest choices we make, and it’s a process. But this week the process is to surrender to the possibility of forgiving so that you can no longer feel stuck. It may be a baby step as you shift your focus from him to anticipation of what God can do, and who He is in the midst of such a hard place. It may be that you say, “I’m willing, but I have no clue how to do this, what it looks like, or what I’m supposed to do, but I offer you all of me. My heart. My thoughts. My life. My family. My home. And I begin today to walk with You, wherever you might take me. I know that I will struggle. I know that it will be hard. But I trust that Your presence will be with me.”
That’s faith! That’s an incredibly huge step of faith.
Monica I can totally relate to your situation as I too am going through the same thing. I have to every morning try to surrender my marriage to The Lord and it is so hard to do that but I pray every time a thought from the past hurts comes to my mind and am able to get through it. I found rejoice ministries also that has helped me through standing for the restoration of my marriage and before I can really do that I have to surrender it all, and forgive my husband for leaving my son and I for another woman (who he is no longer with).
Monica I can relate as well. My divorce has been final for 5 months. I think one thing that gets in the way of forgiveness is the thought in our heads that we are letting them of scott free if we forgive. I had to come to terms with the fact that his judgement day is coming, and it’s not my job. Judgement day is God’s day. And it is hard. I still cry every now and then when all the “first’s” kinda reach up and slap me in the face. Praying for him is hard and I don’t know why but praying for “her” is even harder for me.
Trust in HIM, he’s got this.