If you came over from Encouragement for Today, welcome!
Because of our past, often the story that is shared is about the mom I used to have.
I loved writing My Mother’s Hands because those hands have become precious to me.
They are the “rest of the story”.
They are symbolic of what God can do.
I love my mother’s hands, her heart, and who she is. Who she has become.
I love that when I call, she lights up. That when I spend time with her, it matters. That when I hug her, she leans into that embrace.
When I hold her arthritic hands I see who she is now. More seasoned by time. Hands that want to be busy. Hands that fidget when she’s unsure. Hands that reach for mine.
They also reach for others. A young girl at a local street school who listens to every word as my mom shares her story of giving birth as a young teen, understanding that this women gets it.
They reach for a loved one that doesn’t reach back—yet. Too afraid of what went on in our past, not realizing what the years have done in the heart of my beautiful mom. Her heart hurts at the rejection, but she has hope that one day things will change.
Just as she has changed.
They reach for God. Embracing his grace. His love. Telling others her story, even the painful parts, to give others hope.
As a seasoned mom, I know that there is no perfect mom. As much as I love this role in my life there are times I’ve stood in the dark and said, “God, I have no clue”.
But imperfect or a work in progress or maybe you do have the perfect mom, I hope you’ll take time today and hold your mother’s hands and tell her that you love her.
Thank you so much for this precious reminder. My family and I are celebrating not only Mother’s Day this weekend with my mom, but also her 70th Birthday. . . and it is all a surprise! I can’t wait to give her a hug now. One thing that I am feeling called especially to do is touch her the way you talked about. My parents divorced after 29 years of marriage. That was over 20 years ago now, so I’m sure my mom could use a gentle massage or simply someone to hold her hand. I too, am going to make more time for my mom, while there is still time. Happy Mother’s Day!
Thank you for this precious reminder. I lost my mom 4 years ago and even though I know she’s with the Lord, I miss her greatly. I would love to be able to hug her one more time, hear her voice again and just hold her hands again. I know I took my time with her for granted and always thought there would be a “next time” but there wasn’t. The last time I held her hands was when she was in a coma dying and I pray she knew I was holding and touching her as she was always a person who wanted to touch, caress and “love on” her children and grandchild. This is a reminder to love on my dad who is still here but but not the easiest to communicate with because of Alzheimer’s and living far away. Thanks again for sharing God’s word of encouragement.
My Mom has dimintia and lives with me, it is very hard on me because at times she it is like having another child. I am having to learn as I provide the love and care she needs. I love my Mother very much and it hurts me when she hurts. My dad has been dead for 12 years and she misses him a lot. Plese just pray for us and for God to help me take care of her through him. thank you and God bless you.
Wow, I needed this. In fact, my initial response was something like, “ugghhh.” I’ve always had trust issues with my mom, but something happened a couple years ago to make me realize (with the support of my husband & brother) that I need to see her as unsafe in terms of sharing my heart & hopes with her. I know that I still need to guard my heart, but this has made me realize that I can act in love toward her even as I protect my heart. She lights up when I call, and sounds like the giddy school girl you mentioned. I always rolled my eyes, more concerned about my 3 little ones and my full days as a working mom. Yet, my mom was widowed at age 50, and she feels alone every day. I live too far away to offer practical help, but this devotional and blog post have convicted me to look for ways to make her light up. Regardless of what I feel about her, to love her is to ACT in love, not to feel all sappy about her. And I know that she would love to feel special and set apart through phone calls and through intentional, loving touch the next time I see her. Sigh. I’m not excited about walking this difficult road with my mom, especially as I look toward raising my 3 daughters in what I hope is a healthy way, but God used your words to pierce me and make me accept his will for me on this road. Thank you for sharing your hard-earned wisdom. This young mom of young kids needed to hear it.
That was such a touching post–thank you. I feel so conflicted because my parents and my in-laws are several hours away. We can’t “touch” them as we’d like, but I do try to call every day or two and share all that is going on in our family. I think the best thing I do for my mom is make her laugh. I’m glad they are all still with us and have their spouses, but I worry what I will do when they get just a little further along and we can’t get to them. Praying for wisdom. Thanks for posting and for the very sweet reminders.
Wow! Perfect timing. As a young (3) child my mother left me in Germany to pursue her dreams to come to America.I felt abandoned. Her intentions may have been good, but I never saw her again until I was almost nine. Our relationship was a hard one and I eventually went into foster care. Today, as a grown woman with a wonderful family and grand kids of my own I have forgiven my mom. What I struggle with is loving her unconditionally. I feel like a phony when I’m searching through Hallmark cards to pick out a card for my mom when she didn’t do any of the things the cards are romancing “mom” about. Thank you for your post, perhaps it will help me dig deeper to embrace the person she has become.
Beautiful post and it brought me to tears. This is my first Mother’s Day without my mother, she went home on May 15, 2011 (she was 65) and as someone who realized the day my Mom was diagnosed (ovarian cancer) that she wouldn’t be with us for long, I started doing about the same thing. And the “whats” don’t matter as much as the love behind it. I started being with Mom every moment I could (best use of vacation time ever!), showing her & telling her I loved her in ways that mattered to her. It doesn’t take too much to realize that often we look at Mom as someone who is here for us. Putting that shoe on the other foot was huge. The day she went home was a good day for her, an awful day for me (of course) but oh the comfort in knowing I had shared SO much of me with her and more importantly – had taken the time to learn SO much about her. No human being will ever be more influential to me than she was and that time of being there for her, with her is precious beyond words.
Amazing; an amazing work. That is all I can say. As I read it, I thought my grandmother was actually speaking to me from Heaven and wanted me to pass the message onto my mom… She wanted to communicate with her. My mother is going through a hard time right now – and as it turns out her mother called her “suz” or “suzie”. YOu are an amazing women, and God is so great!
As some of the other ladies have posted, I too have lost my Mom. She had cancer and had been battling it since 2008. She passed away March 5, 2011; just last year. The last time I held her hand or gave her a hug was when she drew her last breath. I often wish now that I could move back the hands of time to when I was only 18. If I would’ve known then what I know now, I would not have moved out so quickly, I would have been more respectful…I am glad that I got to know her as an adult and that I got to share memories with my children with her. If you are having a hard time with your own mother right now, please believe me when I say this…PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE RECONNECT WITH HER TODAY! I know it’s hard to let the past go and forgive but it is worth every painful moment! I can tell you that every time I got to give her a massage, hold her hand, hug her, sit on her lap (yes I did even as an adult), or sometimes if I had a very hard time with something I could lay on her couch still and lay my head in her lap and she would caress my hair and we would talk, or if I called her at 2 am she would answer and say “Go warm up some milk and let’s talk.” The pain of forgiveness was worth every precious moment I had with her. I miss her terribly but I am so blessed to have known her. She nurtured me, she taught me how to be a good Mom (I make mistakes with them all the time!), she taught me how to keep the faith even when I didn’t understand why God took her away, she taught me how to love and to be kind to everyone I meet…I could go on and on but my point is simply this; love her as the Lord loves you and don’t take her for granted because you will miss her one day and you will have some regrets.
-Suzie thanks for this message because now I just want to go see my Dad, hug him, tell him how much I love him and not waste another moment in time. Dad’s need love too and I am sure he is missing her just as much as we are…
Happy Mother’s Day and I hope all of you have a very blessed weekend!
P.S. Can I ask a favor of all of you? Please do one random act of kindness or even just smile at a stranger in memory of my Mom, Mary!
Thank you so much for your devotion today. I lost my mother 6 years ago and I can honestly say I was blessed to have no regrets after her passing. I was not a Christian until my late 30’s and was blinded to how I treated her but God did an amazing work in me during the last few years of my mother’s life. He taught me how to honor and respect her. She came to trust me as a safe friend. She confided in me and although she was my mother and older, on many occassions it felt as if she looked to me as a mentor. She knew I would not hurt her intentionally. She knew she could confidently come to me with issues she had going on in her own life without my being judgemental or critical but knew she would receive biblical advice. My mother was somewhat orphaned at the age of eleven so she always seemed to be looking for that safe mother figure. She was strong yet fragile. As she aged I could see her frailty so I treated her even more tenderly and it broke my heart seeing how my siblings could still be rough on her. How I praise God for changing my heart! I dearly miss her. I cried upon reading your devotion because I miss my mother but mainly because I feel many times taken for granted by my own children now that they are grown and have their own lives. I don’t mean that in a controlling way, but I feel that we must make time to cherish those we love and just show gratitude for all the sacrifices we have made. This was the case with my husband and his mother at first, but I began to tell him to not take for granted that his mother was still alive. I did not want him to have any regrets the day she passed away, so he began spending more time with her and she just loved it. She has been gone almost a year and a half and he is always thanking me for encouraging him to do that. Mothers truly are a blessing, whether you have one or are one.
Wow. I read this and got emotional when I have had a hard time feeling any love towards my mom. She has always gone her own way in life leaving 3 kids behind. She didn’t know how to be a mom because her mom killed herself when my mom was 9. My mom is twice divorced, atheist, a hippy lol, and dating another guy again. I feel like she is so lost and I’ve tried telling her how God changed me but I feel like she doesn’t believe it was God. She and I still talk on the phone cause she lives a long way away. My bother and my half brother don’t talk to her. I tell her I love her but its just an awkward relationship. She loves my 3 kids too I know I should love her no matter what. Its hard when I haven’t had the experience with her that I wish I could have had. She’ll be coming in June for a week and now I want to show her this love in action. I will write down plans I want to do with her so I can make her feel special. Thank you so much for your devotional. Time does go by fast. we are just blades of grass in a field here for a while then gone. I want to leave a legacy of love with my children and every one who knows me.
I feel your pain and I too struggle with having no true feelings for my Mom because of the abuse and neglect I suffered at her hands. And as if that wasn’t bad enough it was all done in the name of God. The hitting until she felt better (under the guise of ‘discipline’ and ‘sparing the rod ..spoiling the child’ and of course the one verse always drilled was ‘and you shall beat your child to save his soul from hell’) and then she would say after the beatings, “ok now let’s hug” as if that was supposed to make it any better, but if I refused to hug her or didn’t really put my whole being into that hug ….the discipline would begin all over until I complied ….you see the Star Trek saying (and I by no ways liked that show but I remember a phrase that has stuck with me during one of the few episodes I ever watched) “resistance is/was futile”.
I wanted you to know that Sam is a nickname and that little girl inside still longs to this day for a mother’s love and acceptance…..and a father’s love for that matter too, but won’t there now! Do you have those same struggles and desires??
This was such a touching post, Suzie. I lost my mom and miss her so much. How I wish I could hold her hands once again. But I know I will…..in heaven.
My mom died in 1983.I was 26 when she died. She was my best friend and confidant. Reading your devotion and blog, reminded me of my mom’s hands. She gave the best back rubs. She lovingly sewed dresses for me for special occasions. Thank you for reminding of how blessed I am to be her daughter.
Happy Mother’s Day!
This is a wonderful encouraging story. My mother has been gone for a number of years, but interestingly, I remember my mother’s hands also more than any other feature about her. Her gentle, consoling touch, when I cried to her, her sewing my clothes growing up, and strangely, I remember how I loved to watch her hands dust the piano, hitting every key with a lovely little tune. I watched her use her hands many times and she was such a gentle soul. I miss her so much.
So many of us needed this, and I have been blessed by your story, and those shared here.
I experimented with taking a look at your site on my cellphone and the page layout does not seem to be correct. Might wanna check it out on WAP as well as it seems most smartphone layouts are not working with your web page.
I am so happy for you that you caught your decline in contact with your mother and corrected it…the same thing happened to me over the years. I loved my mother dearly but we lived far apart and life got busy. I lost her 6 months ago this week, and I still hurt as if it were yesterday, because I never got to say goodbye, and I missed so many phone calls I should have made but got too busy for. Enjoy every moment, every day, every year you have left. Although you’ll see her again, the waiting on this earth will seem like eternity after she’s gone. Thank you for posting this.
I wish I could. It’s hard for me to read some of these comments when I lost my mom so young. I really miss her. Those of you who still have yours, love them, forgive them, whatever you have to do. There is no relationship as special as that between a mother and a daughter.
Kathi – I agree with you and feel your pain. It’s hard for me to read some of these posts sometimes, too. But I do enjoy them and gain tremendous strength, hope and insight from them just the same. My mother committed suicide when I was 15 months old. I don’t remember her at all but my grandma has told me wonderful stories about her. Forgiveness is key… She has missed so much… when I gave birth to two wonderful baby boys… and now I’m grandma to a beautiful baby girl who is 4 months old today. My mom has missed all this, and everything in between…
I’m so grateful for these postings and look forward to them every day! God’s blessings to Suzi and all the wonderful women coming together here… keep praying! Thank you.
My mom and dad will be coming home from Florida next Tuesday! I cannot wait to see her! I am blessed she is still here with me and aside from my legacy donation, I am going to try to give her a gift she would truly love this mothers day…me! Thanks for honoring moms!