If you’ve joined me for the Forgive to Live Challenge, I want to hear from you! Share your story of forgiving, or your questions. Tell us the URL of your blog where we can get to know you better!
Today one of you who has left a comment this week will receive a basket of goodies, some of my favorite things.
A copy of The Unburdened Heart: Finding the Freedom of Forgiveness, but also chocolate and some sweet surprises!
Subscribe to my blog so you won’t miss Monday’s #forgivetolive Challenge: “Frenemies or the Real Enemy?”
I have chosen to forgive by letting go of all hurts, by word, action,
broken promises. By setting them free then I am free of all the pain
and I can heal!!!
Tina, what a beautiful strong pronouncement of faith and direction!
Through the help of prayer, you, and Liz’s story and encouragement, I am ready to forgive my absent father and move on from the place of being a little girl longing for a father and to be loved. I wrote a letter to him today and threw it away once I wrote everything I felt. So therapeutic! I even called him and we had a great conversation. I know it won’t happen overnight, but I’m totally committed to keep pushing forward with the process.
I am being challenged in the are of forgiveness! Thank you for your devotions of P31 and your blog.
I am choosing to forgive my mother for being so young and foolish when she had me…Although I had a neglectful mother growing up, I have tried very hard to be a great mom, and I know that is because of Jesus in my life…I see His handprints in every part of my past….Janet
I hear those words: young and foolish. I go back sometimes and think about the girl I once was. Young and foolish could describe me, though there were other words as well that were strong words. I don’t know what caused your mom to have such lack, but I pray that her lack that created those empty spaces, are filled up with God. We don’t get to choose our mother, but we get to choose our mothering, and we can find that nurture through godly women, through godly older friends, and through God Himself. Fill Janet up, Father, to overflowing. In Jesus’ name.
I found you thru P31. I have been struggling to forgive someone who I believe was put in my path to show me evil, and how to respond. It took awhile to be willing, and then to accept that it is not for me to judge her, or try to change her. But, it was hardest to let go of the pain and anger. My DIL suggested P31, and when I saw your challenge on forgiveness, I knew I had to be a part of this! Almost every word resonates with me. And today a work opportunity appeared, seemingly out of the blue. This has been a financially difficult year for my husband and I. We are young retires on a fixed income. I see no coincidence between my efforts to reach out for help, and this windfall. I wait every day for your new comments! I am so grateful for what you are sharing! Thank you!
Hey Susan, I wish I knew more. But I don’t have to, because God knows, so let’s pray about this together. Father, give Susan wisdom. Forgiving isn’t allowing evil to continue, but it’s not meeting evil with evil either. Cut the ties that hurt Susan and let her meet this person with compassion, wisdom, love and strength. Let truth be highlighted between them. Bless her and her family financially and spiritually and let Your name be etched on the walls of this home as faith is lived out daily in joy. In Jesus’ name, amen.
It took me along time to know the word FORGIVE!! It is through my Heavenly Fathers love I can put this all in words. FORGIVENESS, FORGIVE, FORGAVE is the act to grant pardon for something, forget, cease to resent. I used to think there were some acts that had to be unforgivable in God’s eyes. Surely, God would not want a young child to be raped, murdered, beaten, or molested. Surely these were all acts that God him self would seek vengeance for, on that child’s behalf ! Correct? Ha, I used to think and believe so. You see, I was sexually abused by my father and uncle. That was along time ago and I have not seen my father in 23 years. There were suicide attempts in college relationships that I sabotaged etc. Finally, through Christian counseling I was able to remember the abuse and not fear it. I no longer listen to the chatter that used to haunt me and believe the lies: you will never be anything, you are no good, you are hopeless, NO ONE WILL EVER WANT YOU. I no longer let my abuse and what has happened to me or anything in my past DEFINE who I am !!!! My biological father recently contacted my brothers and sisters and myself asking to meet with us and to see his grandchildren, because he is going blind. You know I didn’t hesitate to answer….my answer was absolutely YES !!! I knew that I was going to take my FATHER with me to this visit with my biological father and I had made peace by forgiving him and my uncle for what happened. I did not excuse them , but I FORGAVE, FORGIVE, FORGIVENESS, FORGIVING…. This meeting is coming up in two weeks and I sure could use a prayer or two to see this through. I am sure it will not be easy, but it will be safe because my Heavenly Father will be carrying me. Thank you .
Lord, thank you for the miracles in Christina’s life and heart. What took place hurt your heart, broke your heart, for your commandment is to love and protect those who cannot protect themselves. As Christina takes this step, give her wisdom. Let love be strong. Fearless. Forgiveness is never allowing evil to continue, Father, so give Christina discernment over her children and this relationship. Thank you that she is the protector you have placed over their lives. Be before her, over her, behind her, and thank you, that regardless of whether another person is whole or not, Christina and her family and future generations are whole because of You. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Forgiveness was the “key” that unlocked the cage I held others in… By unlocking the cage door, I became the one that was made FREE! Now I’m free to grow and become the person GOD created me to become! Such liberty in the act of forgiveness… I’m finally understanding that forgiveness is for me not the other person…
Thank you for all your posts Suzanne! So encouraging!
Realizing that forgiveness is an act of the will…the feelings follow. I have four major broken relationships that have never reconciled. But even though there isn’t reconciliation (because there is no remorse on the part of the offenders), I know that I still need to forgive. I have done so with three of them. Working on the fourth. It is a long process…kind of like healing is a process.
I choose to forgive my parents. My father for being absent and abusive in every way and my mother for being manipulative and mentally abusive. I choose to forgive over and over again, and I choose to still have a relationship with each of them.
In one chapter in The Unburdened Heart I share the story of two women who have chosen to remain in a close relationship with a parent, and one with a husband, that is very difficult. They choose to forgive by allowing God to be their armor bearer (one of the meanings of forgiveness) as He goes to battle with them, as He takes the arrows of the enemy (John 10:10) and gives fullness instead, as He leads and protects and fills up. It’s not the easy path, but I pray that God is your armor bearer as you love those who don’t know how to love back, and that God’s love is so rich and abundant in your life.
My father walked away from the ministry when I was two, that was in 1954. He lived the next 15 years as a functional alcoholic. My father rededicated his life when I was seventeen, but the scars were there from being scared. I was always worried when my mom and dad argued. I do not have many memories of my childhood because I blocked out many of the difficult times. I am the adult daughter of an alcoholic but also I am the daughter of a minister who has been faithful to the Lord since 1969. I forgave my dad in 1995, I forgave him for robbing me of my spiritual heritage, for hurting my mom, for hurting my brother and for hurting me. I forgave him for the one specific memory of him being drunk while we were camping and he slept near the fire and I was worried that he would fall into the fire. I forgave him for passing down addiction to me, my drug was food. I am in awe of God’s mercy and love that he forgave and restored my dad. How much more should I extend God’s forgiveness when I have been forgiven so much. Blessings…..Diana
My struggle with forgiveness starts with myself…I know that God the Father loves me so much that He gave His only Son to redeem me. I know that Jesus loves me and gave His life, as His Father willed, to save me. I am forgiven! Yet the sins confessed for which I am repentant, sneak back into my conscience and guilt is reborn. I pray that He will help me to accept His mercy and forgiveness and forgive those who have hurt me. “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”
I also wanted to comment on your post regarding evil. I was spending some time with the Lord tonight and picked up the book, “Be Who God Intended” and in the very first chapter he talked about thinking that as he suffered through childhood trauma, God didn’t care until he imagined God standing outside the window looking in on him as a child and weeping. What an image to remind us that God does not cause evil things and He does care!
Mary, we certainly apologize, and make amends. We earn back trust. We stay on a healthy path. But the foundation underneath that is receiving and believing in God’s forgiveness for our sins. He washes white as snow. He hurls it as far as the east is from the west. He died for our sins. Please open that gift daily until you fully receive it.
I am, (trying) chosen to forgive my middle daughter, who has cut us off from her life due to a stranger that she has met and is involved with. It is extreme hard because we were always a close family, so my husband and I thought. But it is also really hard, because we found out that she now has cancer. She is still on our insurance but will not have any contact with us. Through this whole thing (for over a year) the 1 thing thing or person that we have not blamed is God. A lot of people that I have heard do that, but for me the blame has been, what have I done wrong to cause this, but never God! But thank you for listening and God Bless you all
Hey Moya, you are today’s winner of a copy of The Unburdened Heart and a prayer journal. Email me your mailing address, okay?
I do not know the circumstances that led your daughter to shut out her parents, but I can only imagine how hard that would be. Is it possible to simply send a card once a week that says, “I love you” without any strings attached, no requests, just a simple we love you and we are here if you need us. I pray that God moves in this situation in a powerful way and gives you the wisdom and strength to endure and know what to do. My heart hurts with you, mama.
I can forgive others because God forgives me.
I am learning to forgive myself. I am always harder on myslef than anyone else could ever be. It has left me with being very careful with my prayer life. I had a teenage son who’s girlfriend became pregnant. I thought I was so calm. I prayed everyday for him. I prayed not to be in this boat. I am a sinlge mom of 4 boys….the thought of raising another was overwhelming. I really did not want the kids to raise him, they were so young, and I honestly did not think I was strong enough to let him be adopted. I have an adopted son, so my battle between being so grateful for the decision of his teenage biological mom, and the saddness of my own heart when it happened in my home was so strong. I prayed everyday. We were studying the book of Romans in church, the kids named him Roman. He was perfect. He was beautiful, he was amazing, and God took him home after a few hours. I prayed everything except I was willing! I never once said Ok God, I will do this, here WE go. No, I kept praying to be pardoned from this overwhelming situation. So forgiving myself, hard!!! I believe that God’s plan was the right plan. I think deep down I am not responsible but I wonder if I had said yes to God, what would have changed. So, I am saying yes now to his plan, whatever it might be. I am learning to forgive myself.
You just have to know that no matter what, God has got this under control. Have faith, say yes! forgive quickly, and love deeply and every oppertunity.
You are not big enough to cause a beautiful little one to pass away, AmySue, with the very real concerns you had as a mom and potential grandma. Saying yes to God meant loving your children through their consequences, believing in them, loving a child, and being strong enough to let a child go into loving arms if they chose adoption. We can’t live our children’s lives or bear their consequences, but only love and encourage and be strong with them through it. You sound like a caring and loving mom. Let grace cover your heart today, would you?
My father was a constant source of pain in my life. Physically, mentally, emotionally. At some point in my youth I found God. From there I always knew I’d be OK, but I was still filled with hurt, anger and anxiety. Many years passed and my relationship with God grew. I came to a point where I didn’t forget, but I did forgive. I understood that those were his choices and I didn’t have to repeat those choices. I didn’t have to be a part of them going forward either. I could still respect him. That was forgiveness. I never got to the point of sharing my full feelings with him, because about a year after I found I truly forgave him, he died. Then anger built up again and I started the process over again, because I realized I hadn’t truly completed it. I’m at peace with things now and feel the process is complete. When I have a moment (I am human after all) I lean on God and his security.
Forgiveness doesn’t always mean a reconciliation. It sounds like you opened your heart to heal and to let go of the feelings of resentment. What a powerful step. I pray that you’ll celebrate that you forgave your dad, and that today he fully understands that gift of mercy and grace.