If you came over from Encouragement for Today, welcome. I’m so glad you are here!
Each week a beautiful group of women meet in my home to study The Unburdened Heart. Each week I’m blown away by what God does in their surrendered hearts.
These women don’t pretend to have all the answers. They just know that they are tired of feeling the way they feel, and tired of a person or a childhood or hurt keeping them stuck. And they are delighting in where forgiveness is taking them.
They want more.
And that’s exactly what our God wants for each of us.
“Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?” Isaiah 43:19a (ESV)
In today’s devo I shared how God drew me even deeper into the word forgive, and how that word began to saturate my life as my Heavenly Father led me up new paths.
Just yesterday I asked my friends as we sat around the table: What is the one thing you want from God on this forgiveness journey?
Their answers were varied, and private, but the one thing that resonated is that they wanted something new.
Healthy ways of thinking and feeling.
Peace.
Joy.
Freedom.
All new things if you’ve struggled to forgive.
Forgiving is a harder path in our faith. Can we just admit that together? We surrender to the new direction in which He leads. We trust. We offer up the burden of resentment, pain, unresolved and untended hurt so that we are free to explore what is next, instead of mired in what “was”.
Those harder paths may not always be easy, but we forgive because it leads us to freedom. Wholeness. A mended heart.
Maybe today, you sense God calling you to forgive.
In today’s devo I shared a prayer. May I be so bold as to share it with you one more time?
Dear Lord, I desire to forgive and live free. I don’t know exactly what that looks like, but I surrender to what you have for me. Show me day by day what forgiving looks like, and give me wisdom and strength to live it out. Thank You that I can forgive and discover what new paths you have for me, In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
I am thrilled to offer a giveaway of The Unburdened Heart: Finding the Freedom of Forgiveness today to one of you.
I’ll choose a winner from the comments below, but I’m also privileged to listen, pray, and celebrate with you as you share where you are in your forgiveness journey.
The Mended Heart is a powerful look at how Christ came to mend, set free, and heal a hurting heart. It’s interactive. It’s designed to take you step by step to discover that place of joy and wholeness for yourself, and how it’s waiting for you.
Hoping to win this book! I have some past hurts that I have been trying to forgive for years, but I keep getting this nudge that I haven’t really.
Good morning Suzie! Yours was the first devotion I read today and what a beautiful day I know this will be…as I keep this word in my heart and focus on giving my Jesus all the perceived hurts of this day…forgiving quickly and surely knowing that Jesus will also be forgiving of me. Thanks!
WOW… Does my family need to pray about forgiveness. This past April, 2013 a conflict within my family got totally out of control! It has divided the family to the point that three adult siblings and their children are no longer speaking. It’s difficult because of our 85 year old mother. Please pray for my family!!
Libby I will pray for you and your family. Reading your post is if though I am writing it, I could have so cut and paste what you said. I didn’t! LOL…But I can honestly say “I know what your feel”
Hugs, Love and Prayers to you Sister…..God Bless You All Anna
I can only imagine the pain that this is causing all of you, but especially a beautiful aged mom. My prayer is that even one would allow compassion and healing to enter the picture to begin a conversation. If you need a resource, The Unburdened Heart: Finding the Freedom of Forgiveness will offer a gentle, come alongside look at what forgiveness might look like and where to begin.
My heart hurts with you, but also hopes with you as you reach out to say, “start with me, Lord”.
Boy have I seen the effects of unforgiveness in my family. Strained relationships passed down from generation to generation. It is so sad to see. Thanks for your devotional Suzie and. the chance to win.
There are some family issues that I pray about daily; however another member is not seeing the wisdom of forgiving the person that in the past made them feel undervalued and worthless (in this instance, his mother). Unfortunately, unreasonable behaviour on occasion, is attributed to past hardships. From what I have read in your blog, this wonderful book of yours would guide us in how to put all our hurts, misunderstandings and misconceptions into Jesus’ hands and provide us with His grace to patiently, gently and softly, work out a solution to a strong family relationship once more.
Janet, it would and it’s gentle, but takes you on a discovery journey of what forgiveness is, what it isn’t, how to begin, what it might look like, and ways to begin to mend.
Never thought the desire to feel the freedom I have in Christ but overshadowed by the burden’s of life; could stem from unforgiveness. I thought the very fact tat I would very willingly serve and love the people who have hurt and do hurt was enough and because I had forgiven. Maybe not! Would love to understand more how to examine this area of my life and pour God’s truth over it. Thank You!
Aida, please subscribe so you can receive this blog in your in-box. We are getting ready to go deep in the exact areas you mentioned. I’d be honored for you to be a part as we dig deep to find out how to let God do just what you desire.
I have some past hurts that I would finally like to forgive. I even have them this precise moment. And after reading the devotional, I realized that forgiving is indeed important in our lives. I remember when I have forgiving people that I felt a whole lot better. I want that to happen to me every single day. To be free and having the knowledge that what I did was right, and feel even a whole lot closer to our Heavenly Father.
Hi Tanya, living a forgiving lifestyle is freeing. I hear you. It’s hard when you feel those hurts, and it’s hard when others may not change, or don’t want your forgiveness, but what does God hold out for you in the process? What will you discover about yourself that He knows already, and desires for you to grab hold of? What new ways of thinking are ahead? What will it feel like to live with a heart not weighed down by unforgiveness? All questions we explore as we begin to let go and get out of the debt collection business, to start living fully in today. <3
I do not like who I have become. It seems like negativity and criticism and judgement is taking over my life. I just keep falling back into that pattern.
Father, thank you for beautiful Francine, who you love and died for, who you know, whose name is written on the palm of your hand. She offers up negativity and criticism and judgment, and holds out her heart for new patterns, new ways of thinking, new ways of responding, in Jesus’ name, amen.
Forgiveness… Just when I think that I have forgiven – or been forgiven! – and I have truly felt God’s love surround me in it, and I’ve experienced the release, the freedom of bitterness that I know can destroy, and I think I am moving on, it seems as I turn around, there it is again, the same anger, the same bondage, the same misery. How do I get beyond the initial stages and move on in life?
Kathy, some people jump up to their feet and walk away with a miracle, but for most of us it’s a process. It’s recognizing the cycle earlier and earlier. It’s knowing how our flesh and feelings want to respond earlier and earlier. It’s recognizing what resentment or bitterness does inside and putting it down rather than embracing it. It sounds like you’ve experienced beautiful God-moments in your faith and grown. Let’s stop for a moment and celebrate those, and then ask God to peel away one more layer and walk in that teaching and healing, and then another and another. Lord, I thank you for Kathy. She loves you so much. She desires all of you, and offers you all of her. Every thought. Every part of her heart. Every hurt. She places those in your hands as often as is needed until it’s a weight that she no longer carries on her own, in Jesus’ name.
It is so easy to think that I have forgiven someone only to discover there is yet another layer of hurt or bitter resentment cloaking that same person over the same or similar event. I often think, “Good grief! Get over it, girl!” And yet that is exactly what is happening. I am causing He Who is Good grief – because I either take back what I have given Him or do not wholly present it to Him in the first place. So…I continue to put the person and/or situation on the silver offering platter and offer it up to God once again – or, sometimes, finally! What freedom, physically and mentally, this brings!
My one word for this year is “Trust”. I see that my inability to forgive completely some who have hurt me in my life, even though I wanted to, was because of my lack of complete trust in God. As I learn to trust Him more fully, I can entrust Him to take care of the deep matters of my heart and everything else in my life. I’m looking forward to this up coming online Bible study.
Forgiveness is a continual thing and I know that I can do nothing and have to give it to Jesus over and over. For me that is the key step to forgiveness and no matter how many times it takes just keep putting the hurt in the hands of Jesus. Thank you Susie for all your encourgement and words of wisdom to help keep me on the right path. As straying off the right path is so easy to do and getting back on it is not easy but with your help it does occur.
So what do you do when the person who keeps hurting you is still in your life and you have to deal with them regularly? It’s kind of hard to let it go when you’re just waiting for the next attack. In fact the more peace and love I show seems to inflame them even more like they resent what I’m trying to accomplish in my life. Sorry for ranting but I want to be free once and for all.
I am attaching a link to the first chapter of The Unburdened Heart, where I address this issue. I hope it is helpful. https://www.tsuzanneeller.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/unburdened-heart-sample.pdf
Thank you!
I think I am on the path to forgiving someone and then something is said about this someone and I am right back where I started, unforgiving and not understanding why. I want to forgive, but the “chatterbox” in my head just keeps reminding me of the hurt that was said to me. Did I misunderstand her, did she really not mean it the way she said it? It is real and it hurts so how do I forgive?
Can you imagine how many times Jesus forgave the words of his people? I wish I could be more like Jesus and concentrate more on sharing God’s word with others instead of fretting and worrying about what was said.
Today is a new day, I will try to do just that!
I call that the playground of our mind. It’s something I’ve blogged about before, but it’s a place where we go and say the things we wish we’d said, rehearse over and over conversations, or reframe them to work out the way we wish they had. It’s not a healthy place for nothing is ever resolved. I felt God calling me out of that “playground” to something much healthier, which was to deal with conflict, to work through it, to set boundaries, if needed, to forgive and to resolve, if even in my own heart. It’s where the hard work takes place so we can emerge from unforgiveness to free.
Ah, Forgiveness, thinking l have only to keep harboring thoughts of the past that keep me from living freely and enjoying the fullness of God’s Grace. My son is my inspiration. At age 30 he is in AA and becoming the most breautiful strong man. Sobriety is changing his life. My bitter root is finding in my heart to fully forgive my ex-husband, my son’s father who is a an alcoholic that believes my son should be able to drink occasionally. My son has told his dad that is not possible. I want to be able to release the strong hold of anger l have for his dad. I thought l had forgiven my ex and past hurts until our son chose sobriety and then so many bitter feelings have resurfaced. If my son can choose sobriety than l can find the strength toforgive my past. One day at a time with God!
Forgiveness, is something I want to work on with my life. I want to forgive to have peace and love in my heart.
Good Morning,
My word this year is PEACE. In reading this devotion today I know I sometimes have a problem with forgiveness . I think I have forgiven the “big” thing from the past but my insecurity about my self worth and being good enough will creep into my head telling me to remember….. Then I go back and perhaps I have not really totally forgiven? Sometimes I go this direction when I have to remind myself that Jesus has forgiven me. He does not remember my sin once confessed, let it go. Love that the devotion talks about forgiving the little things , not being offended. So often I am probably taking a word out of context that someone might say and reading into a statement, I may have no idea where that person is coming from. I’m working in some women’s ministries projects in my church, this is a new area in the church. I will take to heart critisim or hear say, but learning that what I’m doing is not about me but about serving God and feeding His sheep and to Him be the glory. I will look for opportunities to forgive and humbly thank God for these, then thank Him for PEACE in Christ.
Your devotion is just what I need in my life. I have tried so hard to have forgiveness in my heart.When I think I have forgiveness in my heart toward the situation and with some in law’s my thoughts go back to anger and bitterness and I want so bad to move past this and to live FREE and OUT OF BONDAGE.I want to have forgiveness in my heart so bad and I want my thoughts to STOP and how can I get the thoughts in my head to stop? This is a constant battle for me. Thank you for the chance to win your book and if anyone has any help or wisdom for me I would appreciate it so much.Also would appreciate your prayers for me. Blessings to all!
Searching for Peace
Good morning Suzie.
I am one of those ladies who came over from Encouragement Today. I want to thank you for allowing God to use you to reveal the truth concerning the richness of real, authentic forgiveness. I used to think that I was a wonderful person because I did not hold grudges against others and did not stay angry, or hold on to past hurts. But a few years ago, I encountered a very difficult situation which hurt me very badly and I had an extremely hard time letting go of the hurt and being offended. Every time that I saw this person, I would become offended again and I would rehearse the incident all over again and nurse those wounds and that pain. Outwardly I looked fine but on the inside, I was being torn apart and I was miserable. But I was waiting for an apology from this person because I felt like I deserved one. Wow, stinkin thinkin can get me in so much trouble!!! The thing that really irked me the most in this situation was that the person I was upset with was really happy and living her life to the fullest as if she was totally unaware of my feelings. One day after I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, I said to God, “Okay, I will forgive her even though she has not apologized to me for what she did wrong. And then I heard him say ” Forgiving her is not for her it is but it is about you and how many times you have been forgiven. Forgive and now go and be set free.” I can not tell you that freedom that came for me that day, joy flooded my soul and tears streamed down my eyes because indeed I had truly been released from the prison of forgiveness and resentment. Thank you, Lord. !!!
Just went through a trying experience with friends and church…seeking forgiveness and freedom. I hope this book will shed some insight and help me in my walk.
Dear Suzie,
Thank you for this message today about forgiveness! Never have I learned more about what that word means than in the past year!! And like you I not only want to continue to grow in that area but also to help others experience Gods life giving freedom found in forgiveness…. My word for 2014 is GRACE and my verses are Hebrews 12:1-2!! I look forward to reading more of your message and growing in Christ in the process!! You are a blessing 🙂
Vicki
I’ve never prayed for God to give me a word for the year. So I just prayed for one….
I’m currently going thru a difficult situation and felt God gave me Isaiah 43 to study out this week, so this was perfect timing in more ways than one. Not only because of the scripture but because of the interpretation of it as well. I hadn’t read it in that context and feel its so appropriate because past hurts have also been raised during this current storm. God is faithful and I know He is not only listening to my prayers, but answering them as well. Thank you so much for your very timely devotional today.
First and foremost I want to thank our Heavenly Father for using you as an instrument for so many that are hurting. I usually go thru my emails in the morning and never pay attention to the Proverbs 31 devo but today’s grabbed my attention. This year my one word is “JOY.” I feel that for the past few years my joy has been robbed. I actually realized that my joy has not been robbed but that I need to forgive my husband. His words are hurtful a lot of times and so I’ve become bitter, resentful, and unhappy where now I see why I feel my JOY has been robbed. Praising God that this devo came at such a better time. I actually prayed and wrote in my journal today and it all seemed just right. He wants to make a NEW thing in our lives. We have to forgive and let Him work in our lives. I would love to be blessed with one of your books. I would love all of them!!! One day I will be able to afford all your books 😉 Thank you Suzanne for reaching out to those hurting. Love your Sister in Christ!
Forgiveness…such a hard word at times…I need to forgive those who have hurt me. I think I have at times and then I will have a feeling of bitterness and anger again. I am doing better. My word for this year is TRUST. I am trusting my God to take care of some big situations in my life. I am learning to stand on his word and know he is with me always..
Forgive——so hard to do. I have struggled and prayed and forgiven, just to get back to square one when life and family are all mixed into the equation. I was readying Libby’s post and it’s like I can cut and paste what she wrote to my post. There are 3 of us siblings, and our 88 year old mom, who has dementia. My brother hadn’t spoken to me for a year, and recently only communication by text because I reached out to him when his wife’s niece was in the hospital. My sister, WOW, control is her game and I am learning from my Savior, just to listen and respond in Love…………..and that is SOSOSOSOSOSO hard to do, but He is giving me the wisdom and strength to do it. I love my mom and only want what is best for her, and sometimes I feel that she gets lost in all of this, because of someone wanting to prove a point. I forgive my siblings, I love them, and because I want my heart to be right with my Savior I am obeying. He promises in His word to never leave us or forsake us, boy I hold on to that promise DAILY! I am choosing Better over BItter!
Blessings Anna
Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord
Thank you so much for your posts! Just love them. My word this year is Strength. Both scary & exciting as I work my way through recovery. Forgiveness is a big part of that. It is incredibly difficult for me to let go & it takes the Lord’s strength & my willingness to seek that strength rather than my own. What blessings! Your book Unburdened has been on my list for almost a year but has just not been in the budget. Finances have been another area God is teaching me about His strength.
Forgiveness toward a family member has been a struggle my entire adult life. My forgiveness has been tied up in the expectation this person would change their hurtful behaviors. Each time that has not occurred I have been plunged back into discouragement and hurt because I really do love this person. I need to find a way to move into forgiveness in a new way. I desire to make this word, Forgive, a part of a new perspective in my life and in my interactions will this loved one. I will have to trust the Lord to show me how since I truly desire to be set from the past and live in freedom found in Christ. Thank you for your encouragement to begin this journey.
At some point, Vicky, we decide that our joy isn’t going to be determined on another person’s transformation, or lack thereof. We move ahead, we run ahead, we grab hold of all that is offered so freely, so that we grow and discover who we truly are, regardless of whether anyone else signs up or not.
I hear your heart, and I pray that this is the day you let go of what cannot be changed (at least by us) and discover what God has for you, sis. <3
My biggest issue regarding forgiveness is forgiving myself for my past and letting it go. I know God has forgiven me. I still need to process that He has removed that sin as far as the east is from the west. I am no longer that person, and He has remembered my sin no more…
Hi Erika, I take this so much deeper in this post: https://tsuzanneeller.com/2013/05/28/forgiving-i-cant-forgive-myself/ but I want you to know that forgiving yourself isn’t your job, or burden to carry. Yes, we change. Yes, we open our hearts to grow and move past the past. But the forgiving part? We are simply asked to scoop out of his generous gift of mercy and that begins the journey to change.
I need something new… I just am not in a good place right now. Burdened, yes that’s how it feels. And trapped by my own negativity. I long for God to do a new thing in me but feel I am the one standing in my own way. I want the something new he is trying to do, I want to let go and let him work in me and on me. Freedom from this burden would be oh so nice and be able to experience the real joy I know is all around me in my life yet I seem unable to enjoy.
Hi Amber, What I love most about Christ is that he met people right where they were. So today he meets you in that not-so-good place of negativity. He kneels beside you. He wraps you in these words:
38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate {Amber} from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Maybe the “new” for today is to simply accept that as truth, to stop looking at what you haven’t done, or what you need to do, and accept that the power of the cross is found in what he has already done for you, and holds out to you today. Just because you’re his. Just because your loved.
49 years is way toooooo long to carry hurt! I think I have finally forgiven ….then some little thing brings the anger and hurt back. Todays devote really struck a cord in my heart. Thank you so much for doing what God called you to do. I will be praying for you and your ministry.
I pray the next 20 years are free, free, free!
Forgive and keep forgiving…just like Jesus does for us. Good word, Suzie!
If you have forgiven a person, is it necessary to like them or desire to be in their company? My reason for asking is that I have forgiven a close family member for some hurtful actions and words they inflicted on me. Unfortunately they continue to do the same thing over and over again even after I have pointed out to them how much it hurts me and causes resentment. I am not trying to change them but I feel that I must take responsibility for my emotions by limiting my exposure to them. Is this wrong?
Hi Kathy, You’ve taken some great steps. You’ve honestly shared your need. You’ve accepted that it’s not your job to fix them. You desire to live a forgiving lifestyle. Oh, such great, strong actions.
May I ask you to do two things this week. First, to place this person in God’s hands as you pray for them daily. Ask God to show you their hurt. For Him to work in their heart in those places where hurt or past wounds cause them to be hurtful toward others.
Second, ask for guidance. Is it time to set a healthy boundary (not to punish, but to have the best relationship possible)? Is it time to show this person extraordinary love and compassion? Is it time to quietly leave when it happens, but always with your heart and door open for reconciliation? Is God asking you to disarm them with love? Is it possible to see that their comments have nothing to do with you, but with their own issues (which takes out the weight of their words, for you don’t assume or carry them as truth)?
I can’t be that person who tells you what to do, but I do know that our Heavenly Father promises wisdom and guidance. Each situation is different, but the freedom of surrendering that burden of resentment to God, that’s the same. That’s the freedom, for how we feel is no longer tied to another person or event, but to who we are as a woman of faith, and as loved by God.
Susie ,
Thank you so much for your wisdom. It really helped shed a fresh perspective- “a new thing”.
God Bless you
I’ve been passionately praying to God for years that He would help give me victory in my marriage for something that happened to us over ten years ago. We have been married for over 14 years and we have two young children. Last night my husband said he has been researching ways to get a divorce because he can not forgive me. It’s also been hard to forgive myself from a painful past lifestyle. I’m constantly reminded. I’m carrying years of pain from things he has done to me and how he has treated me. He is not willing to go to counseling with me or confide in another person, which makes this extremely difficult to work through. I plan on sharing your devotion today with him and also asking him if he would be willing to read through your book together. I know that God is able to redeem our story, so I keep trusting in Him and His promises – even though I don’t know what the final outcome will be. Thanks for being willing to share with those who are hurting.
Jennifer, I’m sending you a private message.
I have been Subpoeaned to testify as a Witness Against my Husband in a Domestic Battery Trial against his Sister, whom is Mother is also a Witness Against my Husband. My Husband has been falsely accused, his father died within two weeks of his Sister charging him with Domestic Battery and lying to the Sheriff’s Department. Then his Mother’s side of the family abandoned him, as did his Mother. My Husband decided to carry this burden alone and has refused to share any of his emotions ( his loss of his father, his extended family, his feelings over the trial-anything) with me and now we share nothing, there is no communication in our marriage and I am Angry. I have to forgive him before this Trial, I want my marriage to work, a divorce will only hurt everyone, but I can’t live like this. Before I was just waiting here until the Trial was over to see who he became, he is so wounded, he will never be the man I married and I know I am hurt also. I remember the day God touched my heart to forgive his Mother and Sister but I am holding onto something- there is so much in our past, we had one year of marriage that worked before moving close to his family and then we had one month of marriage in the past year where our marriage worked, this is out of almost 11 years. I am tired, sad.
Please I believe I found the Proverbs 31 email in my Junk Folder today for a reason. Rarely do I go farther than reading the email, to go to the Blog and continue reading and then to post a comment. Please may I have this book. My family needs help. We have two girls, ages 5 and 7.
Prayers for you as you struggle with forgiveness. You are in a difficult spot, but you are reaching out to others and to God. God will hear you and He will not abandon you in your pain. Joshua 1:9 has helped me greatly. Please consider reading it. It is a promise you can claim. God will not forsake you, you are not alone. Hugs and blessings.
Thank you for your prayers.
I do feel alone, I feel ashamed and my Sisters, Mom and adult Son live over 400 miles away. It is hard knowing who to confide in, I trusted someone earlier this week and realized at the end of the conversation it was a mistake, leaving me another thing to worry about. What I am trying to remember is the Past is the Past, I cannot Change it Nor can I Change Any Person. Worrying about the Future does Not Change it. God is in Control. He knew all this would happen and there is a reason, it will be for his Glory.
Lord, Jennifer is exhausted. You offer rest. Bring her spiritual rest. Physical rest. Supernatural rest that goes deeper than circumstances. May she sense you deeper than ever before, in Jesus’ name. Thank you that you love her like crazy, and that she is not unseen by you. Thank you for giving her what she so desperately needs, beginning in this moment, in Jesus’ name.
Forgiveness is a daily obedience! I have always been told forgiveness is not for the other person… its for you, for your freedom from bitterness and anger. Being obedient to God is the first step to forgiveness! How can we NOT at least take the steps to forgiving someone when Christ forgives us for all we do and say if we just ask.
Referred here by a friend. Know this book would be an incredible read for myself and friends.
Cannot wait to read both books!!
I need to forgive my husband… I need to forgive the doctor who over prescribed an antianxiety drug that almost led to my husband commuting suicide. He is a live and getting help. On top of that I need to forgive my parents for not supporting me through this horrible crisis. It’s only been 21 days but I need to start the process now
Lord, thank you for Rebekah. She is courageous and she is strong, but she needs you. Thank you that you meet us in the crux of our crisis to begin the healing work immediately. I pray for this husband, that you will step in and heal and bring strong, professional and godly people around him to heal what is hurting inside. Lord, give the people who love Rebekah the words not to say and the actions to do that will soothe her heart, but if they cannot, bring others to fill the gap. Help Rebekah to be able to succinctly share her needs with those who can help, for Lord there are days when we simply have no words and don’t know what to say. Thank you for wrapping Rebekah close in your strength today. Greater is He who is in us than he that is in the world. That is her promise today, tomorrow, and every day thereafter. In the powerful, grace-filled name of Jesus, amen.
sack·cloth [sak-klawth, -kloth]
noun
coarse cloth worn as a sign of mourning or penitence.
in sackcloth and ashes, in a state of repentance or sorrow; contrite: She would be in sackcloth and ashes for days over every trifling error she made.
Suzie, Thank you. Your encouragement for today on the word “FORGIVE”…again another prompting of the Lord that He is telling me so very clearly “Joy, this is THE word for you in 2014 that I want you to “live out” for My glory and for the complete healing of your heart.”
But before coming across your encouragement for today, Suzie, God’s very first word to me this morning as I was barely opening my eyes was NOT the word “forgive” but it was “sackcloth.” Yup, He whispered “sackcloth”. The past couple of months though, God has been speaking a completely different word over me….the “perfect 7-letter word” that I have been avoiding and it starts with “F” and ends in “E”. But like I said, suddenly this morning “sackcloth”! Not exactly a word I ever expected to hear first thing this morning from God but in response I said “Good morning, Lord, I hear you. I hear you speaking ‘sackcloth’. But I don’t understand, so help me understand fully what you want me to know and why you have spoken that word over me this morning.”
Before I crawled out of bed I spent a few moments just thinking about what I already knew about the meaning of sackcloth…and all I could remember from what I have learned is that it has something to do with clothing worn during sad times. I recalled that in the Old Testament times, Daniel and Job had worn sackcloth. The visual picture in my mind—clothing made out of material like brown potato sacks. I thought it was interesting that the first word God said would say to me this morning was ‘sackcloth’.
As I mentioned, God has been speaking a totally different word to me for the past couple of months—He’s been impressing it on my heart and mind that it’s what I need to “live out” for Him in the new year; that “perfect 7-letter word” that starts with “F” and ends in “E”. But I’ve been hesitating to embrace that word from Him; really it’s a command from Him–-but feeling like I don’t know how to “live out” this word, and fears that I might fail to live it out the way God wants me to. I admit, I’m stuck and mired in a yucky stronghold of unforgiveness towards those who have hurt me, and I desperately need prayers and God’s help to break free. Recently he told me that He is the one who sets prisoners free. (Unforgiveness feels like a prison for sure!) Some time ago, God also revealed to me that He uses the number 7 as a sign of completion throughout His Word. Interesting to me that He brought to my attention that the word “forgive” has 7 letters. And I’m realizing that in order for my heart to be completely healed and fully restored…God is wanting me to write down, embrace and commit to begin living out this 7-letter word “F-O-R-G-I-V-E” .
Usually at the beginning of every new year I, too, like to try to focus on a key word that will hopefully help me to grow and reach deeper levels of faith; a key word inspired by God to go “live out”. Usually I want to have that key word from Him revealed preferably by December 31st….you know, before the new year rings in so that I can begin right away to start living it out. He gave me my key word for 2014 LONG before December 31st rolled around. I’ve just been avoiding it. It’s been a struggle! HUGE hurts have been burdening my heart…deep down I just want to release the weight of it all. I know I need God’s help and intervention. And while I’ve been asking God for a long time now to heal my broken heart of hurt, pain, bitterness and anger towards those who have hurt me….the key to freedom is all wrapped up in that perfect 7-letter word F-O-R-G-I-V-E! So will you please pray with me and for me….
Dear God,
Show me Lord HOW to forgive. I don’t know how. The stronghold of unforgiveness needs to be broken down, and my heart needs to be set free by you teaching me how to remove the burden of unforgiveness from my heart. I need your divine help. Please provide help. And today I am ready to surrender; embrace YOUR perfect 7-letter word, “FORGIVE”, and make attempts to living it out in 2014 for Your glory. Please forgive me for taking this long to start embracing it. Help me not to just learn the “steps” on how to forgive, only to store it as “head knowledge”, but to truly allow my heart to be transformed through the practice of living as a one who forgives others. To practice the word “FORGIVE” when you give me the opportunities. Teach me gently your way. I trust you’re willing to help me, and as I said, I am ready to surrender now because I realize it’s what You, dear Heavenly Father, want for my heart. I want that unburdened heart that my Sister Suzie is encouraging me to have. It’s been your plan all along to finally get me to this place of surrender, and I want what you want for me. You have the best plans for me. And Lord, you’ve just now reminded me of Job who said in Job 42: 2 “I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted.” And then in Job 42:4-6 Job continued to acknowledge You Lord saying, that “You said,’ Listen now and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me.’ ( Job replied), “My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes.” I’ll probably have to go check Lord, but Job probably was wearing sackcloth, wasn’t he, when He said this? If so, then I understand why you whispered “sackcloth” to me this morning. I am sorry I took this long to begin repenting of my unforgiving heart. Please work on me. I don’t have an outfit of sackcloth to wear before you as repent of my unforgiveness, but symbolically I might just go and buy a brown sack of potatoes, empty that sack completely of all it’s contents…just like you want to help me completely dump out unforgiveness from within my heart. Please help unburden my heart. Thank you in advance for what you will do to help me.
Loving You Lord,
Joy (Your Beloved, “Bea Joy”)
Bea Joy,
Sackcloth. Powerful word. Powerful image.
One thing that we often hear in Christian circles is “you shouldn’t feel that way.” Which is complicated when you feel that way, and you don’t know how to stop.
In The Unburdened Heart, Chapter Two, we share an exercise which is to place the person who hurt you in an imaginary chair across from you, then to invite the Holy Spirit to sit next to you, and to freely speak about your hurt to that person who hurt you. You share it all. The way it made you feel. The way it still affects you today. The helplessness you felt. The hurt it left.
For many, this is the first time to put on the “sackcloth” and to mourn, for they’ve stuffed it, or pretended like it didn’t happen, or pushed it down because “I shouldn’t feel this way.”
But then, something significant happens, with the help of the Holy Spirit. You’ve let it go. You’ve stopped stuffing. You’ve been honest. And you see “it is what it is”. It’s not something you can change, but you can mourn it. You can be totally open before your God about it.
Now that it’s been said, you see it as a chapter. One chapter of your life. One chapter written by a pen in someone else’s hand, or perhaps even your own, but then you hand the pen to God. There are new chapters to be written. Perhaps, chapters that come out of the old pain to produce new life and joy because you are keenly aware of the gifts of today, of strength, of hope, of discovering what “new” things God wants to write in and through your life.
We are shaped by our past, sweet Joy, but we are not defined by it, or limited by it.
Put on your sackcloth. Speak how you feel, with the Holy Spirit nearby. Don’t hold on to that anymore, and then you are free to move to that beautiful 7-letter word.
Thank you so much for your devotion today, and for giving away a copy of this book! It never ceases to amaze me how perfectly God meets us right where we need Him. My husband and I added another argument to our list the other night, all about the same issue–my inability to forgive his family for past (and ongoing) grievances. The thing is… they don’t aim to hurt me intentionally, and sometimes it’s not so much them doing anything wrong as it is me taking their words and actions the wrong way! Still, it’s a struggle that has had a foothold over my life for the better part of 10 years, which now as I type that out… makes my jaw hit the floor. I’m so upset with myself for letting it go on this long, yet I feel so lost in how to finally give it over to God–how to hand every last bit of my bitterness and resentment right over to Him. I pray that your book might be the beginning of something new in my life as I learn what it feels like to forgive!
I was driving home today from a small bible study thinking about forgiveness and not only what it means for us but to God. I have been recommended this book by a dear friend and hope to win. My story is one of may trials and triumphs. From a father who is a recovering alcoholic, a mother whose had cancer 3 times, their divorce, my first husband’s abandonment of myself and our three children to the amazing healing God has done through my second marriage, a move from our home to a new state, a fresh start and now my husband adopting my three children. I’ve walked a long way with God and know my journey is not over yet! Forgiveness is something I think we all need a deeper grasp of and I know there is still pain from my past waiting to be dealt with. Thank you for the opportunity of not only sharing this resource but offering to pray and celebrate with the ladies who commented here. You are a blessing!
Thank you Sarah, and I love the name of your domain — redemption diary. Beautiful!
Your words are so encouraging and means so much to so many, I want to give this book to my daughter who was abused as a child and struggles with forgiveness as we all do, thank you for being willing to share.
I would like faith. Faith to believe I have been forgiven. My heart is burdened by sins I’ve asked for forgiveness for countless times. I keep asking forgiveness from the Lord over and over. I need faith. Without it I’ll never be able to move forward in my walk with Jesus.
Ashley; he heard you the first time. He forgave you the first time. I think that maybe you may have the problem that I had. After many years I realized that I hadn’t forgiven myself. God has forgiven your sins as far as the East is from the West. Take that and run with it. Your sister in Christ.
Hi Ashley,
I have overcome that struggle— to “feel” forgiven once and for all for all my past sins—and you can overcome this struggle too. You don’t realize that it’s the enemy, the devil, that has been feeding the doubts about whether or not your are forgiven. But you ARE forgiven once and for all eternity for EVERY sin–past, present and future—because Jesus paid for all your sins once when He died on the cross for YOU! Since you have confessed you are a sinner, and you’ve repented (deeply regret and desire to turn away from those sins), God’s GRACE covers you! 1 John 1:9 says “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us of all our unrighteousness.” Note: that scripture says “ALL” not some, but ALL of our unrighteousness. Take God at His Word! Allow me to encourage to take God’s promises, every promise as TRUE because it says in His Word, also that God does NOT lie! see here Titus 1:1-2 which says:
” Paul, a servant of God and an apostle of Jesus Christ to further the faith of God’s elect and their knowledge of the truth that leads to godliness— in the hope of eternal life, which God, who does NOT lie, promised before the beginning of time,”
Memorize this and claim this promise, and the promise also in 1 John 1:9. There are many more promises to claim. The devil does not want you to know the truth. But God wants you to know the truth and to believe HIM, not the devil!
You must fight the devil’s lies and claim the truth! When the devil repeatedly reminds you of your past sins–lying to you and saying to you that you’re not forgiven and that God hasn’t forgiven you for those past sins—just claim promises of Scripture out LOUD–quote it out loud literally, and tell Satan to leave you alone because God cannot lie and he has forgiven you of ALL unrighteousness according to the Scriptures! Once the devil knows you know the truth of God’s promises and that you are believing God, trusting God’s Word, the devil will have no power and he will leave you more quickly. The devil is a LIAR. Our God is ALL about TRUTH! Believe God!
Ashley, you’ve asked, He’s heard. He’s hurled it as far as the east is from the west. Our truth is scripture. When these feelings that you’ve not been forgiven, and yet you’ve confessed and begun the process of transformation, come, hold up the truth. 1 John 1:9. He forgives ALL sin. He forgives. He reframes it from sin to growth, to learning, to transformation, to helping others who feel stuck in that same sin. No more asking God to forgive a sin He so freely forgave. No more shame when you are marked by God as a beautiful and faith-filled woman. Meet the enemy’s lie with truth until it becomes truth in your own heart.
I STILL FEEL THE PAIN NOT ONLY FOR WHEN OTHERS HAVE HURT ME, BUT ALSO FOR MY SON WHO HAS ASPERGERS SYNDROME. DOES THIS MEAN THAT I HAVEN,T REALLY FORGIVEN THEM–EVEN THOUGH I THOUGHT I HAD IN OBEDIANCE TO GOD.
Ruth, there is mourning process over loss and that looks different for each of us. It’s not denying how you feel, but inviting a God who loves you to mourn with you, and fill those places with strength and supernatural joy that makes no sense in relation to circumstances. It’s handing God the pencil to write additional details to the story, deepening it, revealing new things, showing you sides of Himself that join with you to walk toward healing.
Well its been almost 4 years and I’ve cried everyday over a broken heart that i can’t fix by myself. I have anger, shame, guilt, pain, and the deepest hole in my heart. I never would have thought this would be my life. I had a girlfriend say “maybe you loved him more than God, so that’s why”, and yet another say “You just need to give up that fairy tale, nobody has it”. Everything I based my life on from my past to my future taken from me, I was so unprepared for the possibility this could happen to my marriage. Our whole marriage had been filled with ah ha moments where GOD had brought us through and there were plenty. I just knew deep in my heart that what we had was so special nothing could ever destroy it. But I guess he didn’t feel that way, of course now he says it was the biggest mistake he ever made and is so sorry. I want it to just go away but it doesn’t and I feel like I can’t go on much longer with out some miracle just a little grace to mend me. I’m exhausted and weary trying so hard to act like everything is going to be okay when really I don’t want to even endure another day. I even feel guilty that he’s trying so hard and I’m still sad, he asks what I need and I can’t answer cause I know nothing can change what happened which means its’s me that has to change and I’m not sure if I have it in me. You see I spent years working on me and my stuff, alcoholic parents, dysfunction family, drug & alcohol abuse, domestic violence and I gave it everything and yes i had forgiven him for years of mental and physical abuse. All though he didn’t do much work he did change for many years. And then after being disabled from a work accident he did this, and the abuse started and went on for about two years. Its all stopped and I know he’s trying his best to move on and trying to get back what we had, but I’m lost and need Jesus to find me. So if you have away to help me i am willing to do the work again to begin anew.
Broken in Colorado; the last statement you said was( I just want Jesus to find me.). May I please say with love is that you need to know in your heart that Jesus knows your every thought and move. If you can get to believe that he beside you , inside of you, in front of you and behind you.. Also you mentioned that you want to have what you use to have. That is the past. God wants you to have a new wonderful future. When one door shuts He always has a new door for you to open .We as human beings will always fail each other in someway or another. You say he’s trying his best. What more could you ask of him. I have been
I have been married for fifty-four years. Believe me we have had some really horrible times through the years. I had to learn how to forgive myself and all the wrong done me over the years. I pray you can think on new begins, forgiveness for others and live only for the moment. I pray the best for you. Also know that scripture says that God will never leave you or forsake you..
Lord, you totally see this daughter of yours, and the hurt that she feels. Thank you for a safe place for her to say, “I hurt, and I would give anything if this hadn’t taken place.” Thank you that you weep with us, that you mourn and grieve sin, and its effects. Thank you, Lord, that you didn’t just come for our sin, which would be enough, but you came to heal us from the effects of sin. Your Luke 4:18-19 mission statement covers this daughter today: You came to heal the broken hearted. You came to set the prisoner free. You came to open the eyes of those who are blind. You came with good news.
Today, may Broken in Colorado sense and feel the stirring of the Holy Spirit that separates her from the actions of a broken man to accept and receive and embrace and identify with the love and joy of a Risen Savior, a heart surgeon of the deepest sort, who loves her right where she is in her brokenness, who came for her and for all of us, out of compassion and strength. Lord, this sadness is held up to you today. It’s there. She’s not pretending it’s not. But it’s a burden she doesn’t want to carry alone, so today it’s held up to you. With hope. With anticipation. With joy. I ask this in the powerful, mighty, name of Jesus. Amen.
This book is exactly what I need for my journey.
Suzie, this isn’t the first time the Lord has used you to speak life into my life!
Your book would be a tremendous blessing right now, thanks a million.
May we all learn to forgive quickly and not take offense easily, in Jesus’ name!
Suzie,
Thank you so much for speaking God’s truth into my heart today. I have been struggling with a relationship problem and I have been guilty of holding a grudge and building up a wall. In fact, building up walls from people is something that I do often. I feel like it gives me a false sense of power. I feel like if I build the wall then I can protect myself from being hurt. However, I am beginning to understand that shutting people out is like you said, blocking me from what God wants me to experience. I too have started this year by asking God to really deepen my faith in him. I know God is working because January sure has been a trying month for me, filled with relationship problems and unexpected setbacks. However, I am practicing rejoicing and glorifying him in the midst of this trouble because I know that God is using these experiences to do exactly what I asked, strengthen my faith. My words/motto for this year…I will show faith in the little things so that God can bless me with BIG things. Again, thanks for reinforcing God’s word into my heart.
Andrea
Wow, wow, Andrea. Such faith and such hope in your words. Lord, lead Andrea into deeper waters of her faith, deeper areas of trusting you, looking to you rather than people, and resting in full assurance that your love for her is stronger, deeper, wider, than she ever imagined. In Jesus’ name, amen.
I would LOVE to read your book. I know that I am struggling with shame, forgiveness and protection. I can recognize all of these things, but I have no idea what to do about them. I have prayed and prayed and seem to have no answers or results. I know that God does not want this for me, but unless the Holy Spirit just miraculously changes my heart and feelings, I am at a loss as to how to proceed. It is one thing to know you should not put up a wall of protection, but how do you actually do that after someone has hurt you? Thank you for your devotion on Proverbs 31.
Hi Becky, you are asking a question that many ask. The fact that you recognize them is so important, and such a reason to celebrate. For many go through life and are pointing fingers at what happened, or at another person’s progress or lack of, and fail to see what God desires to do inside of them. At this point, where you aren’t sure what to do or where to begin, you are at a place of surrender, which is your first and most powerful step. It says, “I don’t know what you want to do God, or even how to do it, but I invite you in to my thought life, to my heart, to the wounded places, and I surrender to whatever you want to do inside of me, and whatever that might look like.” This means you aren’t “striving” or trying to do it on your own, but surrendering to God and partnering with Him in the process. I pray that you will pick up The Unburdened Heart and let the Holy Spirit lead you step by step, layer by layer, through healing. It’s not about a book that Suzie wrote, because I do not have all the answers, but I’m so thrilled to point to scripture and to walk alongside those who are seeking all that God has. That makes this girl happy.
This book will be used by God to heal many broken people. I would love to read it and share it with those I know who need it. God’s continued blessing on you and your ministry! He speaks through you!
I have lots of reasons to be bitter…Injustice, mistreatment by someone in ministry who should certacertainly Ministry, a Leader who became a one man band, being misunderstood, talked about, lied about and more. The only way I’m getting through any of this is the way God is teaching me & leading me. I have learned to forgive in deeper ways than I ever thought possible…& there is more that could be done…To trust Him for timing & relief, for dream & vision accomplishment. It has taken a huge load off me! I praise my Savior for all He is doing in my life! I only recently came away from the “playground” of the mind –rehearsing hurts & scenarios from my past…I struggle with boundaries sometimes but it is all getting better as I follow His leading…
I have had the same feelings. Mine was abuse from my Aunt’s fiancee and I was just 8 yrs old.
The thing is I put it out of my memory for a number of years ( I am 65) but every once in a while it
comes roaring back with the force of a cannonball.but now that I turned it over to the Lord, when it does
by giving it back to the Lord it gets a little easier.
Robin, I will keep you in my prayers as a sister traveler with our eyes toward God.