What do you do when you are all grown up, but feel still like a hurting little kid inside?
Maybe it was the person who raised you. It seemed like everyone else had that picture-perfect mom and dad, while your mom drank herself to sleep, and the words that she said are ingrained on your heart and identity.
Maybe it was the relationship that made you feel good in the beginning, but somehow it left you broken and alone, even while you lived within the same four walls.
Perhaps it was that person who said they had your best interest at heart, but then let you down.
Again.
Regardless of who, or what, or even when it took place, we can lose heart because of people.
And those words or actions can continue to impact you, even when they are no longer in the picture.
When will the hold be released on your life?
I have such good news for you.
It’s this.
Jesus took our sins upon the cross.
That same act frees us from the effect of the sins of others upon our heart.
[bctt tweet=”Jesus took our sins upon the cross, but that same act frees us from the effect of the sins of others upon our heart. #TheMendedHeart #TheUnburdenedHeart ” username=”suzanneeller”]
Stop. Read that more time. Let the impact of that good news soak in.
People lose power when our inner self — the central or innermost part of our identity — is wrapped around the Light inside of us, rather than around the people who have harmed us.
What does that mean?
The words that were spoken, the things that happened to you, the evil you endured, or the love gap that you feel — these are not your legacy anymore.
What might it look like to give less weight to people than to the Messiah who lives inside of you?
Suzie
Related resource
The Mended Heart: God’s Healing for Your Broken Places by Suzanne (Suzie) Eller
Read Chapter One and the Introduction of The Mended Heart free
Related resource
It is so very true what the Bible tells us. We can have a heart and forgive rather than want to hate or lash out and take revenge. I am so glad that I am reading the Bible every day now and learning how to respond to hurt. It is through God’s power that I can take a hurt and ask God how to deal with it instead of lashing out as I have in the past. I can pray instead of saying hurting words. I can respond differently now. I know I have a choice now, and even when I mess up I know God forgives me. I’m starting to see God’s real love through the power of God not my own power and that is a true blessing.
Thank- you Suzie.
Janet
Love this powerful statement of faith, Janet. Listen to what I heard you say:
The Bible is truth.
We can be transformed.
We can relearn how to respond, which changes not just me, but my relationships.
We can pray rather than hurt others.
I have choices, and if those choices lead me the wrong direction I am not confined to them. I can make a U-turn.
I am not alone, but am partnering with God, and He’s bigger than me, or my circumstances.
Pretty amazing testimony. <3
These past few months have been really difficult. But God has promised that his grace is sufficient, and that’s something I need daily. Letting go of the hurt and pain that was caused to me by the different persons in my life have been a thing that i was struggling with for a while… So truly when we hand our broken pieces to God only he can make us whole. And I am looking forward to see how God will use my brokenness for his God. Keep heart ladies!
You are so right! Praise God!
I am working on chaoter two today. I am in the process of moving so I am slightly behind. But I can’t tell you how much I need this book right now!
Suzie, I love this chapter and can’t believe how timely it is. I have struggled for so long and I now see I’ve been giving too much weight to people vs God. You describe that all so well. I never really thought about how much unhealthy power someone can have in my life even when they are not an active part of it. great truths to hide in my heart too. Thank you!
A person has unhealthy power over my life when I can’t get them out of my head and I keep rehearsing the wrongs they did to me. The Jesus factor means to me: to perceive them the way Christ does. To forgive. To release them. To see them with compassion.
I love this chapter because you discuss both the Jesus Factor and the hurting-people factor. I love on p. 46 where you say, “Paul was an ordinary man. His secret was that a light blazed within him, shining through the cracks of his brokenness.” I can see that cracked vessel so clearly. I want to be like Paul. I don’t want to lose heart.
To give less weight to others is this: to spend times of intimacy by meditating on how God sees the other person. Then to commit time to worshiping Him and listening to the names He calls me. He’s up to something way huger than we can imagine. To put down others’ offenses is to step into that place of trust: focusing on God is more valuable and important.
Suzie,
There have been SO many hurts in my life by SO many different people. And recently, I have noticed that the way I respond to NEW friends these days often-times reflects the hurt I still feel from PAST friends. For instance, when I become close to someone now, I wonder how soon it will be that they totally drop me, because I had a couple of friends in the past who dropped me with no explanation. I tend to hide when I’m hurt, because I don’t want to be hurt again, etc. I am really hoping that this study will help me walk through these things.
Another thing I just have to share is that a dear friend and I have been walking together for over 2 years now, very very closely together and with the Lord, and He is bringing deliverance to us. But one of the greatest things He has given us is this: “Behold Christ!” In ANY and EVERY situation, it all goes back to that. If we would, as you basically said here in this chapter, “Behold Christ” – look at HIM – everything else will seem so insignificant….AND we will allow Him to work in these things. This has been so helpful to us. When one of us is listening to the other talk about some frustration or something, the other will often ask, “Who are you looking at?” And very often, we’re not looking at Jesus, but at ourselves, or at someone else.
I’m SO loving this study so far! Thank you SO much!! <3