Dear Suzie, it feels as if yesterday’s post was written directly for me.
I feel.
I feel every day. I’m stuck in this playground of my mind.
How long is too long to feel? Why won’t these feelings go away?
I don’t like them. I’m tired of hurt, anger, apathy, and guilt. They take over.
So, how do I find peace and heal — really heal — without the feelings coming back just as fresh as they were/are now? P.
Dear P,
We feel it. We acknowledge that it hurts. It wasn’t okay. It shouldn’t have happened. It’s almost like sitting across from our Heavenly Father to grieve what should have been.
That’s different from stuffing it or living in perpetual hurt.
It’s moving, then, to open our hearts to the “felt” portion. To simply remembering a time when you felt hurt and worked through it.
But what I think I am hearing you share is that it’s been this same hurt for such a long time that there’s no point of reference.
Am I correct in that?
If so, perhaps this is a place where I (and others) can simply sit beside you for a moment and say, “I remember feeling that way,”. To say that there were times when it felt like we’d never get well, and then one day we realized that we had. That there were small little baby steps with aha moments along the way where our perception changed, or something simple but beautiful settled in our being and we didn’t see it the same way anymore, or we stepped into another layer of healing.
My prayer is that this speaks hope to you.
That it encourages you to hang in there. Don’t give up. It’s a process for most of us.
For many of us, closing the door to that playground (mentioned in Chapter Eight) seems awkward at first. We close the door, only to find we’ve went there again.
So you close it again.
And again.
Until one day you start to go there and realize, “I don’t want that.” You recognize it for what it is, and you want so much more than that.
Let this growth process unfold inside of you, with His help. Celebrate any and all victories, no matter how small they might seem to you. Don’t give up, keep moving forward, even if it’s at a crawl.
Heavenly Father, today I lift up “P” to you. She’s tired of being stuck in feelings of anger and apathy. This is a place where she’s been for longer than she desires. I pray that You touch those hurting places and begin to heal her. When she goes to places that are unhealthy in her thinking, remind her that you have more for her. Give her the strength to close that door over and over again, until one day she closes it on her own with joy. Thank you for “P” and your plans for her. Thank you for mending her heart. In the powerful, healing name of Jesus, amen.
So very thankful for your honesty. So very thankful for you.
I agree with your comment about closing the door again and again. It’s a rare person who can close it once and be done! When you open that door again, don’t beat yourself up or think you have failed. Just close it again, as often as you need to. We are with you, P!
I agree too!
Absolutely true! <3
I’m so there. For over two years now and I ask the same questions as “P”…will it ever change? Will I ever not hurt? I get so discouraged. Please lift me in prayer as well.
What a privilege to pray with you, Misty. Father, thank you for Misty. When the battle is long, we can get really tired, and I hear tiredness in this honest request. So, today may we come alongside and lift her up to you and celebrate with her as you ease the hurt and begin to fill her heart with You. Nothing can ever separate Misty from your love and she rests in that today, finding strength for tomorrow and lots of tomorrows after that. In Jesus’ name, amen.
I know exactly how you feel P. I too live it that same guilt, hurt and so on. My biggest door to close is on shame and regret. I hate feeling this way and I don’t want to either but its like its just hanging over me and won’t go away. I do feel the progress though. God is working hard on me. He has shown me so much of why He doesn’t want me to live this way. So I celebrate the little things like Suzie said. For me that is recognizing that I don’t enjoy going back to those thoughts. I pray that one day I will say “I remember feeling that way”. Its is so difficult sometimes, I know. The results of my actions are so great but I hope in my God that He will restore all things new.
It comes, Stephanie. It’s daily closing the door. Sometimes there were moments that I battled minute by minute, refusing entry to a place that was unhealthy. The less I “fed” it, nurtured it, the less hold it had and that was when I began to recognize that it was a place I was never intended to live. There were people to love. Life to live! Faith to grow in, and joy in real life.
Words cannot express how God is using you in my life. I closed my first door just a minute ago. Yay, praise God! Now, like you said minute by minute with God going before me I pray I will close that door again and again! I can’t do it without God because it involves the gradual loss of my marriage (what i do not want). This is difficult but I know God is not done!
Thank you. Yesterday and today have spoken so much to my heart that is facing the same battle. I truly feel that it is a battlefield of my mind… I have to fight to go forward when my mind starts taking me back to grief again about all the dreams lost and hurts endured.
Thank you for the prayer… That also spoke to me!
Thank you, Father, for Darice. There are new tomorrows ahead, and I praise you for that. May she sense your direction, love, and healing touch today in the name of Jesus. May she sense that you can take loss and redeem it, bringing newness where hurt once lived. Thank you for her desire to heal, and the fact that you came to offer that healing. In the powerful name of our Savior, amen.
One of the things that can be most useful, is to remember that emotions are just emotions, not the truth of your reality. It is what you think that determines how you feel. Ever framed a picture, and it just didn’t “look” right, then put that same picture in the right frame, and wow, the photo looks great! Our perceptions and feelings should not rule us. We can submit our feelings to the Lordship of Christ by obeying him in the vital area of what we choose to think about, and how we choose to “frame” our thoughts and feelings. Frame them with the word of God. Philippians 4:4- “Rejoice in the Lord always; and again I say, rejoice. Let your moderation be known unto all men. the Lord is at hand. Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. and the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, SHALL KEEP YOUR HEARTS AND MINDS THROUGH CHRIST JESUS. finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsover things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsover things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report,; If there me any virture, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Those things which you have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen me, do; and the God of peace SHALL BE WITH YOU. Peace like a river can come, when you get honest with God about your situation, your feelings about it, THEN, say; “God that is how I feel, the reality is that you tell me to give thanks in all things, so I praise you and thank you, and praise you that you promise that all things are working together for my good because I love you and because I am called according to your purposes, and more importantly because you love me. Reveal yourself to me in this situation. Let me know you better. Be the Lord of this situation. You, not my feelings are Lord. You, not the situation is Lord. I trust you to show up and supply all my needs according to YOUR riches and glory in Christ Jesus. Help me focus my heart and mind on you, that I may have your peace, and an overwhelming sense of your presence. Even if the situation never changes, you can change me. You have given me a new heart. I am a new creation in you. I am seated with you in heavenly places in Christ Jesus. Reveal more to me about my position in you. Empower me to walk in faith in my position in you, not in my feelings or my circumstances, or anything past. Behold, in you, all things become new. Including me. I praise you for these truths, and I commit my heart to walk in them by the power of your Spirit. Then try on what I call some “alphabet praise”… You are awesome, beloved, courageous, daring earnest, my friend, my father, goodness, grace, generosity, healing, hearing, healer,inclusive, introspective, just, king, kind, lover of my soul, Lord over all, Mine, Omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, power, prince of peace, quick and righteous, restoration, restorer of my soul, real and authentic, rescuer of my heart, ransomer of my soul, strength, solid, savior, truth, tried and true, trinity’s Jesus, trustworthy, understanding, valued, valiant, valuing me, victory, victorious, wholeness, extraordinary, the alpha and the omega… the a-z. All I need in found in you.” There now, don’t you feel better?
One of the things that can be most useful, is to remember that emotions are just emotions, not the truth of your reality. It is what you think that determines how you feel. Ever framed a picture, and it just didn’t “look” right, then put that same picture in the right frame, and wow, the photo looks great! Our perceptions and feelings should not rule us. We can submit our feelings to the Lordship of Christ by obeying him in the vital area of what we choose to think about, and how we choose to “frame” our thoughts and feelings. Frame them with the word of God. Philippians 4:4- “Rejoice in the Lord always; and again I say, rejoice. Let your moderation be known unto all men. the Lord is at hand. Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. and the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, SHALL KEEP YOUR HEARTS AND MINDS THROUGH CHRIST JESUS. finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsover things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsover things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report,; If there me any virture, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Those things which you have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen me, do; and the God of peace SHALL BE WITH YOU. Peace like a river can come, when you get honest with God about your situation, your feelings about it, THEN, say; “God that is how I feel, the reality is that you tell me to give thanks in all things, so I praise you and thank you, and praise you that you promise that all things are working together for my good because I love you and because I am called according to your purposes, and more importantly because you love me. Reveal yourself to me in this situation. Let me know you better. Be the Lord of this situation. You, not my feelings are Lord. You, not the situation is Lord. I trust you to show up and supply all my needs according to YOUR riches and glory in Christ Jesus. Help me focus my heart and mind on you, that I may have your peace, and an overwhelming sense of your presence. Even if the situation never changes, you can change me. You have given me a new heart. I am a new creation in you. I am seated with you in heavenly places in Christ Jesus. Reveal more to me about my position in you. Empower me to walk in faith in my position in you, not in my feelings or my circumstances, or anything past. Behold, in you, all things become new. Including me. I praise you for these truths, and I commit my heart to walk in them by the power of your Spirit. Then try on what I call some “alphabet praise”… You are awesome, beloved, courageous, daring earnest, my friend, my father, goodness, grace, generosity, healing, hearing, healer,inclusive, introspective, just, king, kind, lover of my soul, Lord over all, Mine, Omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, power, prince of peace, quick and righteous, restoration, restorer of my soul, real and authentic, rescuer of my heart, ransomer of my soul, strength, solid, savior, truth, tried and true, trinity’s Jesus, trustworthy, understanding, valued, valiant, valuing me, victory, victorious, wholeness, extraordinary, the alpha and the omega… the a-z. All I need in found in you.” There now, don’t you feel better?
Thank you Lord, that you are working in us a far greater glory than we can dare to think, dream, or imagine. For each sister who is stuck, help her to turn her heart to you. You inhabit the praises of your people. Inhabit us as we have the courage to praise you, even for the painful parts of our lives, because you never waste a hurt, when we submit it to your Lordship. One day, let all these hurting women, join in the ranks of women have seen your glory revealed, and who are transformed, as we are all transformed daily more and more into a reflection of you as we submit our feelings and thoughts to you, in honest authenticity, so that we may see that you are indeed the balm of Gilead, that you are indeed the one who rises with healing in your wings over us. That you are indeed the bright and morning star. Do for us what we cannot do for ourselves, for the glory and honor of your name. Transform our hurts into your glory. That those who sow in tears may reap in joy. That we may be like those who dream when your turn and restore our fortunes. We love and trust you, even in our broken places, especially in our broken places. amen.
What a beautiful prayer. Thank you for partnering with me today to love these beautiful women treasured by God. <3
Thank you so much Kim. What a blessing you are to have those words for us. This is such a beautiful place God has created for us to share and heal. Thank you Suzie for your ministry.
What a beautiful pray. Thank you I will rejoice with God everyday for now on.