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I spoke my first words at about 4. My mom swears that is true. Honestly, I’m hoping it was at least 2 and half or so.

But the first time I spoke publicly was when I was 17.

My youth leader offered me the opportunity to teach. I had little church background and had never spoken in front of anyone. The big day came and I stood in front of the youth group.

Knees knocking.

Heart hammering. 

It was awful. I’m not just saying that.

It was really, really bad. 

My topic was the book of Revelation.

The entire book. 

At some point all eyes in the room had glazed over and I ended my teaching. As I passed my youth pastor, he said, “Umm, thank you, Suzie.” I can only imagine the conversation he had with his wife on the way home that night.

“Hey, next time I am tempted to ask a student to speak, remind me of this night.”

So, years later when I sensed the call to speak, you can only imagine my response. 

It was a crossroads. I had options. I could say no and keep on going, or to offer up lots of valid excuses and talk my way out of it.

Um, God, did you notice that this is me?

Are you sure you weren’t thinking about someone else — anyone else?

Or I could say yes, even if it didn’t fully make sense in the natural.

When we say yes and it doesn’t make sense in the natural, this is what we are really saying:

God, you know me. You are aware of my fears and doubts. But you must know something I don’t yet.

This was one of my “but if you say so” moments, but we all face them.

You want to give up, but He says, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13).”

But if you say so.

You want to give in, but He says, “No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it (1 Cor. 10:13 The Message).”

But if you say so.

You feel stuck, but He says, The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him (Psalm 28:7 NIV).”

But if you say so.

You want to let God know that you’re not the right girl for the job, but He says, “. . .may he equip you with all you need for doing his will. May he produce in you, through the power of Jesus Christ, every good thing that is pleasing to him. All glory to him forever and ever! Amen (Hebrews 13:21 NLT).

But if you say so. 

This isn’t a reserved, hang-dog response; no way!

Instead, you are offering a hope-filled yes! to launch a discovery. When God is asking you to trust when it doesn’t make sense, there’s always something deeper ahead.

Growth.

Preparation.

Truth.

Transformation.

Perhaps even a miracle for which you don’t have words.

Today I love speaking and communicating the Gospel. I had no way of knowing that when God first began to lead me in this direction, but He knew. He was trying to give me a desire of my heart — one that I couldn’t even imagine at that time.

Suzie

Read Luke 5:1-11 again. Note anything you might have missed in your first reading. Underline it. Journal about it. Share it here.

Q: Describe a “but if you say so” moment that took place this week. Perhaps even today as you read this lesson.

Q: I could have said no to speaking. What might I have missed if I had? What might you miss if you say no?

Q: How is failure a part of our growth process?

Write down the scripture that spoke to you today and place it where you’ll see it several times a day. Speak it out loud each time. Memorize it.