I turned my head to look out the window.
“What’s wrong, babe?” my husband asked.
“I don’t like how I’m feeling,” I whispered.
I’m not easily offended, but there it was. Sitting on my chest and in my heart like a hundred-pound bag of sand.
Sometimes when we are offended, we linger in that place.
That’s exactly where I was.
I was imagining what I should have said, what I should have done, what I wish this person had done differently.
The more that I lingered in that place, the bigger the offense felt.
I closed my eyes.
Father, show me the source of this. Show me what is going on right now. I don’t like feeling this way. I don’t this is a healthy place for me to be.
This wasn’t about pretending like the hurt wasn’t there.
It was deciding how much space I was going to give it, and how long I was going to live in it.
It was also looking at the real source of my offense.
There was a real battle taking place.
What was at risk in this battle?
Sometimes an offense can be so nurtured that it takes on a life of its own. It roots into the way we think. It determines whether we trust or not. And years later we’re still tangled up in the chains of that offense when we’re made to live free.
The source of my battle wasn’t the offense at all. It wasn’t even the person who had said or done something I didn’t like. I’d need to deal with the hurt and possibly address the situation, but that was temporary.
A real enemy desired to inflict lasting damage.
Who would be impacted in this battle?
There were innocents in the line of fire. One was my husband. He was innocent, but my hurt became his.
A friend watched it all go down. It was just as confusing to her. She could be my ally and confidant as I nurtured the offense, or she could watch me invite God into the hurt and see Him at work in the situation.
She had been harmed years before by the words and actions of someone who should have known better. It had taken years to work through that hurt.
What if this battle had nothing to do with me at all, and was aimed squarely at her flickering faith?
Was I willing to surrender?
There’s a fixer living inside of me that wants to make everything fair and just.
I’m not big enough for that task.
Surrendering isn’t a weak act. It’s one of the strongest acts spiritually when we hand the battle plans to Him and ask for help.
As you consider the source of your offense, it moves you out of what you feel inside to the bigger battle at hand. It allows you to surrender to the plans that God has for you.
It places your feelings in context. You have them. They matter. They don’t get to take over your life.
If you feel hurt today, consider the source of that offense. What is the real battle? Who is your Source?
To live free: Recognize when you are replaying the scenes of hurt over and over in your thoughts and it leads to nowhere.
Scripture: Philippians 4:8
Today: When you start to replay that scene over and over, refocus to the real battle. Surrender to the plans God has for you.
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Thanks Suzie ~ I do spend a lot of time looking backward… I recently went through a friendship betrayal and it was just devastating…and although I have forgiven…it’s hard to “let it go” — I do well… I have peace… I can wish her well… but we weren’t “reconciled” andthat is a disappointment…and I do struggle to move on. It’s just how it is…it is a wrestling match to let it go. I desired for things to turn out different and they didn’t. Thanks for your prayers and your teaching.
I have been nurturing many offenses. Not sure i would have ever called it that before, but its true! I feel stuck in the nurturing though. i am so focused on the wrongs against me that i have become so hardened to protect myself from feeling the pain of those offenses or to avoid being hurt again. how do i get to the point of full surrender of those offenses where they no longer control my life and i am able to truly live free?
Wow friend. These words hold such hope, such restoration, such power. What a gift you have with words. Thank you for sharing this. I have struggled with some offenses this year and the Lord is drawing me towards freedom and surrender. These were perfect words for me today!
Thank you, Suzie. This is so good for me right now. I am in the process of dealing with the root issues of offense. It’s tough stuff…and I don’t want to deal with it, but I must, if I am going to move on and be more fruitful for HIM.
Thanks once again, Suzie. Yes, God used your words today to confirm what He has been telling me. I SO need to process my hurts with Him first, before I go to someone else and pull them in. I believe He is using a current offense to dig deeper on that root of bitterness.
As I lean in to Him, my negative feelings shorten in duration and I’m able to smile again and move on.
Exactly what I shared on today’s post about. Thank you again. Amen