I wrote this a few years ago to accompany an Encouragement for Today devotion. As I read it this morning, I was thankful this still helps me live free. I don’t know if you are struggling with this, but I once did. I discovered that God had something so much greater for me. He has so much greater for you too. ~ Suzie
I stood toe-to-toe with the worst sort of debt collectors once. He knocked on my front door looking for a young man we knew. I was confused as to why he was at my home, but soon realized this guy was willing to do whatever it took to find his target. He threatened. He made personal threats. When I explained that I had no idea what he was talking about, he left but started calling my home the next day. In the course of 24 hours, he called over 30 times. We finally called the police to make this stop, but it left my heart hammering with worry and anger.
What does this have to do with me, Suzie?
No one signs up to be the world’s worst debt collector, but somehow we can find ourselves there.
We get trapped in a life where we live only to collect old debts. We want to make them pay. We are willing to harbor anger, resentment, bitterness — because they did wrong. We fail to understand we become the ones paying the price. We become stuck in the eye-for-an-eye mentality. We knock down doors in our thought life, continually asking someone to pay. We remain tangled in the hurts of the past. We carry around resentment that spills out onto those who never hurt us.
I don’t think evil should ever prevail but there’s a line that can be crossed, an unhealthy one, where we are no longer pursuing justice, but living as a debt collector.
Maybe you have been waiting to feel satisfied that they’ve paid before you let God mend your heart.
Maybe you’ve been waiting for them to say they are sorry and mean it before you allow God to touch those hurting places.
Perhaps you’ve been waiting for them to show that they are changing to your satisfaction before you embrace your freedom.
What if they they choose to never do any of these things?
What if they do change and you discover it’s not enough?
We weren’t mean to live as debt collectors.
If you sense God leading you out of payback into something so much more, will you take that step toward living free today? I (and a beautiful team of prayer warriors) are here to pray with you and encourage you as you do.
The Mended Heart is a gentle resource to help your hurting heart heal.