You want your dad to love but you, but he’s got issues. You see other dads loving their daughters, and it hurts your heart. Today Laura Polk shares her #livefree story.
I love this amazing woman and her heart for single moms. She lives what she teaches, and when you know that something special lives inside this brave, funny, real woman. Meet Laura Polk, a Daddy’s girl. ~ Suzie
I’m a Daddy’s Girl
It’s never what you expect to happen to you as a little girl.
A daddy is supposed to love his children unconditionally, right? It’s innate. A part of being a parent.
We love our children so outrageously that we didn’t even know that kind of love existed in our hearts until they came to be.
Except when the love doesn’t come.
I can’t tell you the precise moment I realized that my father didn’t love me, but I can tell you that I struggled for 26 years trying to be good enough to change whatever was wrong with me. It was a never-ending battle.
Hoping I would be smart enough, or funny enough, or maybe even cute enough to not only garner his attention, but his love.
His actual love.
To hear an “I love you” or an “I’m so proud of you” or even an “I’ll always be there for you.” But the words never came. Neither did the feelings behind them as I suffered for years under his scrutiny, and disappointment, and public shuns. Until finally, a day came when he made the break I knew he’d been wanting to make since day one.
You see, after my parent’s divorce, I grew very close to my stepfather. He was a loving man. An accepting man. A man who treated me as his very own. So, when I became engaged, I wanted both my stepfather and my father to walk me down the aisle.
When I told my father this over a lunch, the screaming began.
I’ll never forgive you.
You are no longer my daughter.
You’ll regret this for the rest of your life.
As every single eye in the restaurant turned to look at me, I could only imagine what they thought I’d done.
Months later he made it official, when not only he didn’t show up for my wedding, but neither did another person from his side of the family. Not one. The same side I’d spent every holiday with, every celebration, every summer break. Half of the people I’d loved my entire life—gone in an instant.
Years later, as I searched for something more, I discovered I had another father I never knew about.
My Heavenly Father found me lovely and precious and cherished me as if I was his only daughter.
He began working on the open wound my earthly father had crafted for years, and healed me completely by simply loving me.
Just loving me.
So, I’m kind of a Daddy’s Girl now.
I love talking to Him for advice. He tells me He loves me on a daily basis and He’s proud of the life I’ve built. And he’s made sure to let me know that he will never leave me.
He can’t—His heart won’t let him.
Because I’m a beloved daughter of the King.
To connect with Laura, check out her blog where she takes this topic even deeper. I hope you’ll take a look at her blog. She’s a pretty amazing new friend.
Thank you for sharing your heart, Laura. Also coming from divorced parents, I was given love and acceptance from both my father and step-father, so your story brought tears to my eyes. At the same time, I can sense the joy in your spirit now and the love you have for Jesus. Your desire to share his love shines through your words! Blessings to you today!
It does shine through, doesn’t it? Laura’s #livefree story hits home with many women discovering that they are Daddy’s girls. <3
Thank you, Kristine! Wishing you his blessings as well. <3
I’m fairly certain Laura and I are living identical lives, at least on this subject. I have yet to “deal with it”, but am hoping that finally getting through “The Mended Heart” book, via the Proverbs 31 Bible study, will be exactly what I need. I’ve had this book for a good while now and have only been able to get through, emotionally, the first couple of chapters. This post helps me realize at least I’m not alone, and yes- now is the time to really deal with it. Dads should be the first man a girl ever feels genuine love from and he’s definitely by whom she (or at least I) bases all future male relationships, setting a standard to one extreme or the other, often times. Thanks for this post. So looking forward to the P31 OBS!
Tricia, I’m excited that you are going through The Mended Heart study. We’ll all be there with you, including Laura. The first couple of chapters are the “rest” chapters. It helps us build a foundation of rest, discovering what we don’t have to do, so we can rest in what has already been done for us. That helps us with the next steps.
I’m so glad you stopped by here today.
Tricia, we might be twins. Surely, sisters at heart. I pray that God begins to heal those wounds in you–he is certainly capable and longs to do so, and that you find peace and wonder in his great love for you. I’m looking forward to the study as well! AMAZING book so far. <3
Tricia, you are definitely NOT alone! I am 56 years old and after 44 years I am still trying to understand my father’s choice to not only leave our family but to become uninvolved in my sisters’ and my lives. I know my struggle with perfectionism and people pleasing are a result of my life story. I too am hoping to find some guidance and relief through “A Mended Heart”. Hope we both find some peace, C~
Thank you for sharing your heart Laura. You have such bravery and resilience. I’m so happy you found all the love you need in the arms of our heavenly father!
Thank you, Sarah. It’s completely through him that I was able to handle this and find healing. <3
Laura, I love reading your #livefree story here at Suzie’s place. So great to connect with you in this community and hope to meet you in real life someday soon!
Me too, Kim! We seem to travel in similar online circles, so it’s bound to happen! 🙂
Oh how I can relate to this! He will never leave us! What a wonderful Father!
Thanks Laura for sharing – it looks like there are a few of us that can relate on a very personal level to what you went through. My father not only didn’t love me but he was violent and physically abusive. It truly does leave scars on your heart; I was damaged goods for many years until my real Father, my King, healed my heart.
So touched by your story, Jodee. He truly watches out for his daughters and promises to be a father to those whose earthly fathers have failed them. <3
I’m in tears. My daughter’s name is Laura. She’s a daddy’s girl. Last weekend he came up with a lame excuse not to turn up to her 21st birthday. His mistress doesn’t like her because Laura refuses to meet her. I’m convinced she was behind the lame excuse. I hope my girl can get the love she needs from her heavenly Father.
So sorry, Christine. I’ve spent many, many years in a similar position. And I’m a living example that you can not only find healing, but joy from the love God is willing (and longs) to give us. I pray that your Laura is touched by his deep love for her and someday understands that ultimately it the only love she needs.
Laura, this is beautiful! I can only imagine the countless lives you can touch with your testimony. Thanks for stepping out in courage to share.