Meet my friend, Amy Carroll. She’s a gentle soul with a snarky, gorgeous laugh and I love her like crazy. Her book, Breaking Up With Perfect, just came out TODAY! It’s a much needed resource.
You have a chance to win a copy! Just leave a comment. ~ Suzie
Our Broken Pieces
by Amy Carroll
As I rummaged through the damaged store, I hurried toward a colorful decoration that caught my eye. A hurricane had ravaged the seaside store’s merchandise, but there were a few treasures left.
My prize that day was a papier-mâché figure of Santa Clause directing a band of animal musicians. Since my husband was a band director, seeing Jolly Old Saint Nick with his conductor’s baton poised made my heart sing even though it was a balmy North Carolina summer outside.
I carefully carried the figurines to the cash register and made them mine.
Nearly skipping with joy down the sidewalk, suddenly I tripped and dropped my fragile treasures. My face fell with dismay as I peeked inside the bag only to see pieces of Santa and his friends lying jagged and free-floating at the bottom.
When I got home, I gently removed the pieces and lay them out on a table. One by one, I drew a thin line of glue on the narrow edges and began to put them back together.
The results weren’t altogether terrible.
Santa’s pedestal is webbed with cracks and the beaver is missing a leg, but unless guests get too close, they’ll never know the trauma Kris Kringle endured. He’s broken but still beautiful, and a smile stretches across my face each Christmas as I unpack him from his protective box.
Why do I struggle to believe that others could see me the same way?
All of us have a level of brokenness from our own sin nature or from sin leveled against us. We all have cracks of insecurity, shards of sin, and flaws of failure, but for most of my life I’ve wanted to hide mine. I’ve wanted to glaze over my brokenness with a façade of perfection.
If I had found only a perfect Santa acceptable, I would have either tossed him after his fall, or I would have hidden him away in the box with the other outdated, worn-out ornaments.
That’s ok with an object, but we’d never do that to an imperfect person. We’re all in the same boat! So why are we afraid others will do it to us? That maybe God will too?
So we keep others at arm’s length, never allowing anyone to get too close, or we hide behind our walls of shame or false perfection. We try to earn acceptance and love with our just-right words and our thought-out actions, feeling more and more lonely all the time, when in truth…
Authenticity is the antidote for isolation.
Jesus doesn’t despise us in our brokenness, tossing us away or hiding the fact that He loves us. He gently takes our pieces and glues them back together with His grace, compassion, and forgiveness. If we’ll only lay down our masks of perfection and surrender to His perfecting work, Jesus lovingly sets us out for the world to see and claims us as His own.
I’ve been on a journey to break up with perfect, and I’m finding that my relationships with others are deeper than ever when I’m real about my flaws. In the process, I’m able to point to Jesus as the Perfect One, our ultimate hero, and I’m resting in the lavish love I’m finding in Him.
Amy
Amy Carroll wants to celebrate the release of her new book Breaking Up with Perfect with you!
Please leave a comment to enter to win a free copy.
I can’t wait to read this sounds like just what I need to hear
As someone who is well acquainted with flaws, and beating myself up when I mess up, I would love the chance to win a copy of this book! Thank you!
Sounds like a book I need to read!
I have been looking forward to the release! I can’t wait to read this book!
I am always beating myself up for things I do wrong and sometimes I don’t do things because I don’t think I will be able to complete them and so I think it is better to not start in the first place. I would love a copy of this book as it sounds like it would really speak to me.
Right there with you, unfortunately. I’ve struggled with procrastination for years. If anyone has overcome it, please let me know how you did it. It creates *so* much unnecessary stress in my life and my family’s.
Our friend Glynnis Whitwer is about to release a book on procrastination, and it has a chapter in it about perfectionism as the source. I know it’s going to be great, and I can’t wait to read her perspective!
All my life I have struggled with perfectionism. I think maybe it is because even as a little girl I could not please my mother. I would surprise clean things and then make her close her eyes and take her to what I had done. Then I would say ta da open your eyes and she would tell me what was wrong with what I did. Finally I quit doing that after numerous attempts. Then when i was around 16 a boyfriend said I was fat. Now looking back I think he was joking, because I was very skinny, but I became bulimic. I was 5 ft. 6in and weighed around 90 ills. after that and I still thought I was fat because I could pinch some fat on my hips. This thinking has followed me into my adult years. I am not bulimic anymore, but I think about it after I overeat. I am still struggling with perfection. I stand in the closet and try on so many clothes for too long and by the end despise myself. I talk to people and for days afterword I analyze everything I said and hope I did not sound stupid. It’s getting ridiculous and I want to change I am so tired. So Tired! I know this is not what God wants, he created me, he loves me, but I can’t seem to stop this. Sometimes I do well for awhile and the pit keeps falling out beneath me right when I get to the top. Pray for me.
Kristie, my heart goes out to you. I was raised by a perfectionist. Nothing I did was ever good enough. And as horrible as that was, I’ve found myself doing the same thing to my daughter, who’s seven now. My perfectionism is also very hard on my marriage. I find fault entirely too easily and it’s beaten my poor husband down after 17 years.
Suzie, I’m not sure if this is the *perfect* book for me because unlike Amy, I don’t struggle with being authentic. I’ve often wished I possessed some decent acting skills. I’m very much what you see if what you get. However, I don’t doubt that God could very well use Amy’s book to help me break the generational cycle of perfectionism that has plagued my family for at least three generations. It would break my heart for my daughter to inherit that part of me.
Kristie and Anonymous, friend, I’m praying right now for true freedom. God had a twinkle in His eye when He dreamed each of you up. Your real self brings Him great glory!
Amy, thank you for your sweet words! God can and will heal many from you sharing your story through this book.
This looks amazing. And a call from Jesus just for me! I struggle with the idea of “perfect” so very much, and this spoke to my heart so much! I can’t wait to get my hands on this book and break up with perfect. 🙂 Thank you for sharing, Suzie!!!!!!!!
Such an important message in a perfection-driven culture! Sounds like a “perfect” read. 🙂
I’m always harder on me than things. I, too, need see grace for me.
Looks like an excellent read. Thanks for the chance to win a copy.
Yes! Nicely done! This book hits a cord with me… And I can see our 8 year old daughter, the rule follower, developing some tendencies…. Thank you for your work in putting this book together!
I believe this book has a message that every woman needs to hear! Excited to read this! Thank you for all your time and effort and for sharing with the world! God bless you!!
I haven’t read anything by Amy. This sounds like a great book. Who wouldnt benefit from it?!
Broken and Beautiful. Oh Yes! A few years ago I crashed after my Mom passed away, we cleaned out and sold the house where I grew up house , my daughter got married and the nest had been empty for a few years. My job had gotten harder and harder, more work, less people and I could not keep up. They put me on probation. I wasn’t sleeping, full of worry and so anxious. That year at the beach I quietly found joy in collecting that shells that were broken and beautiful. Still finding my with God’s love and forgiveness.
Chrysue, thanks for sharing your beautiful story!
This is something I struggle with on a daily basis.
What a fabulous writer. I look forward to reading her book!.
I can’t wait to read this.
I am so tired of striving. I want to experience freedom from performancism and perfectionism! This is definitely a resource I need!!!
“I’m breaking up with perfect!”
Thanks for Coming up with this book. I have never thought to find any material so specific to my issue … never good enough… I want to do the right things for the right reasons, I truly believe this book will help me see how. God is always putting the right people (and right material) in my path 🙂
Thanks for sharing I really think that I need to break up with my perfection and expectations on myself and others.
The “anonymous” reply to Kristie was from me. Didn’t mean to post it that way.
Thanks Amy for sharing. I will love to read this book
I need this book! I buy things they break, i try to fix and save my treasures-lots of glue and love
I need your advise 🙂
I love the picture on the book. Genius!
I so need to read this book…..I have had problems with relationships all my life due to events from my childhood . Thank you for providing the giveaway so that one of us can pray and learn from our past .
Oh, Lorrie… I can so relate to the destructive nature of perfectionism in relationships. God’s got a better way for us, and I’m so thankful.
I just emailed my “perfect” girlfriend your book announcement and told her we had a new read to add to our list of growth stories!! We are reading “the mended heart” with Suzie right now and also Angie smith’s “mended”. We both just broke and put back together our vessels as suggested by Angie and it was an amazing spiritual experience for both of us…just like your book excerpt above!! God is working on both my “perfect” friend and my “perfect” self in might ways…and he is allowing us to be accountable together in the imperfect progress!!! God bless!
This sounds like an awesome book. I have never read any of Amy Carroll’s books and I am so looking forward to reading this one.
I want to break up with perfect! Love your stories and thanks for sharing! 🙂
I would love a copy to read and for my daughter to read
This sounds PERFECT! Pardon the pun…….something I really need to let go of and be FREEEEE !!!! 🙂
I am so tired – it’s too hard to try to be perfect for everyone.
And I especially don’t want to make my kids that way!!
Perfection is completely exhausting, isn’t it? I’m so happy God designed us for His freedom and to rest in Him.
I too have, “…wanted to glaze over my brokenness with a façade of perfection.” It often times seems easier than actually facing my past. I rest in the helpful and empowering reminder that Amy shared above, “Jesus doesn’t despise us in our brokenness, tossing us away or hiding the fact that He loves us. He gently takes our pieces and glues them back together with His grace, compassion, and forgiveness. If we’ll only lay down our masks of perfection and surrender to His perfecting work, Jesus lovingly sets us out for the world to see and claims us as His own.” Grace, compassion, and forgiveness are all words that bring me a sense of hope; joy is on the horizon. Thank you for bringing this book title and author to our attention.
I have lived this way so long. In the last year especially, God has really brought me to another level of this journey and giving me the strength and courage to lay it down so He can work without hindrance. The freedom it has given just in these stages has been so incredible. I desire to help others to really grab this truth. I am extremely excited about this book since it has been one of my greatest struggles and I have no doubt will be come one of my greatest strengths and breakthroughs in my walk with the Lord as he moves me forward in all he wants me to do. Thank you Amy, for writing this. There are so many who need to hear this!
Such powerful words, yet SO simple! I need this book, we ALL do! If I get a copy I will read and hilight before passing on to my 19yo daughter that REALLY needs it! Thank you! God has truly blessed you, and many others with this book of TRUTH!
One of the surprises that’s come with the book release is how it’s resonating with teen girls. I’m so grateful God knows what He’s doing even when I’m clueless!
Perfectionism has been something I strggle with for years. I would love to have a free copy of this book/
such an important message!
Wow! What a great title! I can’t wait to see who wins!
I can’t wait for the party tonight but I would love to win a copy to give to a friend or family member! That would be great.
Make sure we connect tonight, Jeanie!!
Thinking this will be a must read for me! 🙂
This will be a must read for me! 🙂
Oh yes! This would be an amazing read!
I’m so excited about this book! Perfection has always been such a struggle for me. I’m so ready to live free without all the masks, walls and missed opportunities that hurt my heart.
Wow, this speaks to me so much today! I will definitely be reading this book. Thank you for sharing Suzie!
Oh wow! This definitely speaks to me as well. I, too, know what it means to cover up any flaws so that others don’t see the “imperfect” me!! So healing……thank you.
Perfectionism runs in the veins of my family-me, my sister, and my daughter–and can destroy opportunities to serve our Lord. This book sounds perfect for us!
Same here! My son and I are bonded closer in breaking up with perfect, though. We’re ending it in this generation!
I have struggled most of my life with the need to put on that front that I am perfect. A perfect Christian, a perfect wife, a perfect daughter, a perfect mother, etc. Living like this created so much anxiety and loneliness in me because I couldn’t live up to the perfect expectations I had placed on myself, and I didn’t want others to see my flaws. Thankfully, God begun unraveling all of the issues that brought me to that place, and I am now learning to see myself as He sees me, and I can give myself freedom to be me. You said “Authenticity is the antidote for isolation”, and I think that is so true. Once I decided to allow my flaws to show, I was able to form more healthy friendships, and I no longer feel isolated and alone.
I can relate on two levels, both which drive people away instead of bring them closer. Trying to reach perfection when good is enough, and not trying at all because perfection is out of reach. Finding that happy medium has always been so elusive. When you only show your perfect side, others tend to rejoice when you fall short, creating more division. No fun at all.
Whew! There’s so much truth in your comment. Authenticity is so much less exhausting, and it makes Jesus shine brightly as the Perfect One.
Sounds like something I definitely can relate to. I have struggled with perfection all my life.
I’m working on this problem. It’s taking a looong time to get thru it. I’m also afraid I’ve passed it on to my family at times. Keeping on keeping on!
YES! Authenticity is the antidote to isolation! So incredibly true, when I pretend to be too perfect I tend to by intimidate others! Watch out world, here I come, warts and all! I can’t wait to add this to my collection of well loved books!
Here’s what I’m finding that has surprised me… When I show my warts, Jesus shines more beautifully through me. And I always thought the opposite was true! So happy my flaws can be used to reveal Him as the true hero.
Loved this!! I may have to get this book to read after I finish the Mended Heart study.
I’ve been working on this for years! Takes time & can rub off on your family, too!
It is definitely a process! I feel even more in-process than when I began writing the book. 🙂
Suzie, I often feel that if I were made of glass people would see the brokenness on the inside! I am breaking up with perfect! Thx for opportunity to win!
Mary, you are the winner. I will send a private email to you. Blessings!
This seems like a great read. I always think my life has to look perfect for people to like me or acknowledge me. I am learning that I am an imperfect person and that God loves me no matter what. This book is definitely my next read after I finish The Mended Heart through OBS.
HI Everyone,
I have always been told that I am a perfectionist, but I never felt good about it. Most times felt like I was offending them, but I don’t know how to be anything else.
I would like to learn about other character traits or how to deal with perfectionism.
Thank you for reading my comment.
Angella W.
I always thought trying to be perfect was a Good Thing… one, because the urge to try so hard did come natural, then two, because that’s what my father demanded for his love, approval, and acceptance. Although I grew to resent that his love wasn’t unconditional, I have always struggled to let go of this need to be perfect, even though he’s not around anymore (therefore his approval, love, and acceptance will never be obtained). What I want more than anything, second to my children’s salvation, is for them to never doubt that my love is dependent on THEIR level of perfectionism… Yet, I already see both of them with at least a little perfectionistic traits despite me trying not to encourage that in them. Maybe they are just trying to “people please”, but even that is something I want to discourage and instead point them to the One we should always seek to please (only)- God. I would love this book… not just for my own healing, but to help stop the cycle of perfectism in my family & children. Please pray for me as I help raise, nurture, and guide these precious gifts God has blessed me with, that I raise them in the ways He would be most pleased and bring Him most glory! Thank you!
Tricia, I’m right in that battle with you. My perfectionism has definitely rubbed off on oldest son, but the beauty of breaking up with perfect is that we’re doing it together. It’s sweet, and our relationship is closer than ever. God is the Redeemer for sure!
This is definitely a book I need to read.
I’m a perfectionist. I admit it. My kids call me one. I have a very difficult time letting go of control. This book looks very helpful for sure.
This is something I really need to address – maybe this book will help.
Growing up in foster homes, I always felt like I wasn’t good enough to be loved or worthy like other girls.
Then I thought if I could get good grades, graduate from college, and be successful, as defined by the world, that I would be worthy and accepted. Now, I am 58 years old. I accomplished the above, but I still have feelings of unworthiness and strive to be “perfect” in the eyes of others. I feel I have wasted precious years of the life God gave me trying to measure up to a false standard, not God’s. I can’t get those years back, but I know I can start now and set a better example for my 15 year old. I want her to have a better life in Christ and to not get caught in the myth of “perfect” in this world.
Thank you for the post and for the opportunity to read the book.
Annie
I love that God “restores the years the locusts have eaten.” (Joel 2:25) It’s a process, but it’s never too late! I’m so thankful for His grace in that truth.
Thanks for the Bible verse from the book of Joel. It is so true and helpful for me. Thanks for helping those of us who struggle with perfectionism.
Best wishes,
Ann
I was blessed to preview this book and I would encourage everyone to get it. I found myself in the pages in ways I had never seen myself before. Such understanding and compassion is awesome!
I love Amy and her authentic self she shares with her readers. Looks like a great book. God Bless
I definitely need to read this book. Thank you! 🙂
Thank you!