What a joy to be back with you!
This girl is filled up.
Completely stepping away for three weeks wasn’t easy in the beginning. I know that seems silly, but it’s the truth. Isn’t it funny how we convince ourselves that the world will crumble if we aren’t there to hold it up?
The very first day I didn’t know what to do with myself, but soon I began to simply rest.
Spiritually. Physically. Emotionally.
It’s not something I’m very good at, but I practiced it until it felt right.
About halfway through my respite, my guy and I took a trip to the Northwest. My word, that’s a beautiful part of the world. I used my mileage points and found two round-trip tickets and a rental car (sitting in all those airports for two years paid off!). We drove along the coast and stayed in different places.
This is us as we drove to the airport. At this point I’m already feeling the healthy effects of slowing down.
Richard and I have been promising each other to take a vacation, but we haven’t really got around to it (we’ve went on two vacations in the last 20 years). We had a lot of excuses — finances, time, family, commitments, the fact that I travel with ministry — but when we finally did it, it was healing and good.
We walked along Cannon Beach. We hiked at Mount Hood. We sat at the base of beautiful waterfalls throughout Oregon and Washington. We drove along the coast and over bridges that took our breath away.
In the past four months Richard went through surgery and recovery for cancer, I wrote a book, was part of an amazing The Mended Heart study with 25,000+ women, spoke at She Speaks, and dealt with a loss in our family. We grappled with the issues of his parents, who we love like crazy, but who are dealing with major health issues.
We prayed often but they were desperate prayers.
God, help me.
God, show us how to do this.
Lord, only You have the wisdom we need.
Those prayers changed to conversations of gratitude as we lifted up His name together. We’d be walking and be met with something as simple as a beautiful flowerbed and those moments became prayers too. I remember one afternoon passing a gorgeous garden in the little seaside town of Cannon Beach and hearing Richard whisper, “Lord, those are so beautiful.”
We can be so rushed and frantic in life that we miss His creation.
Sweet friends, sometimes we just have to slow it down to see something — even as glorious as this.
Our trip wasn’t our respite. It was a gift we gave each other, one long overdue. My respite began the day I obeyed Him and shut it all down. In the past three+ weeks the Holy Spirit has been teaching this girl.
He’s spoken three beautiful things that I don’t want to forget.
We can say no and it’s okay
Just a few days before I shut it all down, a great opportunity arose. One that would take a significant amount of time and energy to do. They wanted it in three weeks.
Did I mention it was a great opportunity?
I said no.
It’s not really an opportunity if it’s not in God’s timing. It’s not an opportunity if you sense God asking you to pull back, and saying yes conflicts with that.
We often grab hold of things because they are shiny, or we really want it, or it might make us feel good or honored or special to do it, and then we can’t understand why that gift feels like a burden after just a few short days or weeks.
Every open door isn’t ours to walk through. We can say no and it’s okay. We can simply breathe and soak in His presence because that’s where He has us at the moment.
What if the opportunity goes away, Suzie?
Then it was never mine to accept in the first place.
Praying with a loved one changes our relationships
We’ve been married for 35 years. I was all of 20 when I walked down the aisle to start my life with him. We’ve never consistently prayed together, except in crisis or over a meal. I’m not sure why. He’s a praying man. I’m a praying girl. We like each other a lot. I take a lot of comfort in the fact that he prays daily.
We started praying together because we were in close proximity, I think.
It’s the one thing that we’ll not give up.
You may not have a “Richard” in your life, but there are people who love you and they love Jesus. Grab their hand often. Pray about things that are on your heart. Thank God together. Rejoice and praise Him.
It changes your relationship as the Holy Spirit tiptoes into the heart of it.
We’re called to take care of ourselves
I’m called to write. I’m called to communicate the Gospel.
It’s easy for me to embrace those truths.
I’m also called to take care of this physical body. That’s not as easy to hear — or do. When I looked at pictures from She Speaks and the Bible study, I noticed the deep rings under my eyes. I saw the 10 pounds I picked up during Richard’s recovery. (When friends are bringing homemade keylime pie and peanut butter cookies, you aren’t going to turn those down!) I saw the unhealthiness creeping in and the tiredness.
The pictures told me that I was doing my best to perform all the to-do’s on my list. . . and forgot to take care of Suzie in the process.
I’m losing those extra pounds. Three of them have slipped away. It’s not about how I look, but how I feel. I’m looking at the way I take care of myself in the same light that I treasure the call to write and speak and be a mom and a wife, and to love others.
How are you doing?
Are there deep circles under your eyes? Do you sense God asking you to take respite, even if for a little while? Is He calling you to nurture yourself in the same way you so lovingly take care of others?
Let’s be accountable to each other, okay? You have total permission if you see me slipping back into that unhealthy place to call me on it.
I’ll be here to pray with you if you’re struggling.
We’ll hold each other up, okay?
Suzie
Oh Suzie, I am so glad you accepted God’s invitation to rest. I loved seeing all your beautiful pictures and know it was such a glorious time for you and Richard! I selfishly LOVED seeing your blog post in my inbox this morning 🙂 LOVE YOU!
Suzie, so glad you listened to God’s call for rest. And so thankful you are filled to overflowing!!! He refreshes those who refresh others, this is true. And often rest is the very process He needs us to enter for the filling to begin and be plentiful! So wonderful to read your heart again! Jodie
Sometimes I just need “permission” to say no. I appreciate your reminder, Suzie. So glad you were able to get away with Richard, and allowed yourself to rest. May God continue to guide you in every way!
It’s crazy when you stumble across someone leaving a season that you are just entering. I am taking a six week sabbatical and have just been at it since last Thursday. I’m still adjusting and getting used to saying no. This is totally outside of my nature. Even to say no to the thoughts in my head that would keep me from diving into the scriptures first. Before I rise, I am already thinking of ten tasks for the day. God has called me to study the prophet Elijah. In his life, there were times of extreme activity but when you read between all those events, there were mandatory rest periods. There are so many lessons God has shown me through this busy season as we’ve worked hard to launch Girl Set Free. Lessons of trust, patience and obedience. I’ve never been busier in my life than now and one thing I know for sure, when I silence myself, I hear God best. Just as Solomon describes in Ecclesiastes 3:1, “To everything there is a season.” Even in ministry, the very thing we are doing for God, we can make an idol. It’s so easy to pour out our own petitions before we ever pause to listen to what He tells us. Thank you Suzie for sharing about your season of rest. It’s so nice to not only know your name now but really feel like I’ve found a friend. I am so looking forward to linking up with this community of women. Reading more books than I can count and writing all that I’ve had in my heart the last year. Taking time to be with God and sisters in Christ. A most blessed season indeed. Much love, Amy
The last person I take care of is me… and I am running on empty.. and feeling all the effects of it. The ONLY good thing about this time of life, is that the only way I get through it is with God’s help, I have to rely on Him.
Beautiful! So glad you’re back, but also thrilled you are so refreshed! Good example for all of us! <3
Suzie, I did have a Richard and he passed away on April 23, 2015 (thursday) from lung cancer (he never smoked) and we celebrated our 27th anniversary on April 17 (friday). We prayed together even before we were married but continued doing so until the last day. We did a lot of things in those 27 years together including giving him a son. He was my soul mate and love of my live. So I tell everyone enjoy ever moment you have together and plan the time to make memories. Becasue that may be all you have one day. This is the hardest thing I have been through in my life. So never miss a chance to spend time together. Even if it is just sitting on the sofa holding hands. Pam
Welcome back Suzie. So happy for you both that you were able to get away & see how beautiful the West Coast is. I live in Washington state, born & raised here & I’ve driven down that coast many times & each time I am in total Awh at God’s creations. I know I personally need to say “no” more often myself and slow down. Thank you for this message as a reminder
Hi Suzie,
So glad you and your honey Richard had a restful and rejuvinating vacation! I noticed right away that you looked a lot less tired in the photo of you and Richard driving to the airport.
I have a cousin who lives in Washington and from what you said and the photos I’m thinking I should go visit her. Maybe I could even see Tacoma, where my mom lived for about 6 months. That was before she met dad and got married. I think her friend is still there that stayed there when mom left. I just need to remember her name.
I recently took 3 days to do absolutely nothing but play. My life has been very busy and I have health issues that cause me to tire easily so I really needed those 3 days.
Again, I’m happy for you and Richard!
Suzie,
Your post was truly a message from God for me! I am so empty. I am almost 59, have a teen daughter, teach high school full time, and am still recovering from breast cancer treatments. Everyone seems to think I should be back 100 percent. I am not. They seem to think that I should not be so exhausted and so mentally worn out. But I am. Sometimes I just cry after school because I feel so overwhelmed by everything. The medication I have to take for cancer for five years has unpleasant side effects. And my nerve damage from one of my surgeries has yet to heal. Somedays, I think I just won’t make it through the school year. I only have about one year to go and I can retire. I’ll still have to work part time to meet bills, but I pray to find a job where I don’t have to grade papers every night and literally all weekend.
I am thankful that my cancer was caught early and that I was able to get the treatments I needed. I know
that I need to look at things in perspective, but I am struggling with the now, feeling like I am trapped.
I would so appreciate your prayers and suggestions. If any of your readers know of a support site or some resource that helps women like me, I would so appreciate it.
Suzie, I have been praying for you and your husband since you posted that he had cancer. I am so happy that he is recovering and that you both were able to get away to refuel your bodies and spirits!
Thanks for you wonderful ministry. You are a blessing in many women’s lives.
In Christ, Annie
“It’s not really an opportunity if it’s not in God’s timing.” LOVE it! I’m so thrilled you took time to rest and you came to my beautiful area. My Grandpa always called it “God’s country and the land of beautiful women” 🙂 The beauty here can really replenish the soul. Our family took time this summer to take in the Olympic Forrest and several other awe inspiring locations around the Northwest. What an amazing blessing right in our backyard. I could feel my body, soul and spirit unwind. May the Lord continue to fill you to overflowing.
This is a beautiful post, Suzie. Wow. It’s amazing what God shows us when we slow down. I’m kind of doing that now, since I’ve landed in this house in Dallas, just doing home school with my girl and getting adjusted for now.
That’s amazing that you said no to that opportunity. Good for you! (I think God is speaking to me through that!) And prayer with your husband? How wonderful! Jose and I just started praying together each morning about 5 years ago, 15 years into our marriage, but I see how it’s the first thing to go when we under stress, or in transition. Like now! 🙂