Today’s guest post is written by #livefree friend, Michelle Discavage.
She’s a life purpose coach, a fun and insightful friend and woman of faith, and I hope you love her as much as I do! ~ Suzie
Who Are You?
The room was filled with soon to be sophomores and their moms.
I asked one question, “Who are you?”
I shared with them the lies spoken to me when I was younger. I laid bare how frustrated and hurt I felt during those years. “Words,” I said, “are powerful, and I learned how to use them as swords and daggers in an effort to protect my already damaged heart.”
Briefly, I explained how the lies I believed altered my perceptions, my actions, my words, and my thoughts.
Then, I showed them what it meant to walk through life unaware of who you are, and believing lies.
Five brave girls joined me, five beautiful, courageous volunteers.
Phase One: Walking Blindfolded
Three girls stood in a line, each holding a small beach ball.
A fourth girl stood blindfolded.
The blindfold, a representation of the lies we believe.
I gave her simple instructions: walk straight ahead, I will tell you when to stop. The beach balls will be tossed at you, and if you are able you can avoid them, but the blindfold has to stay on. As she completed the first pass I asked her how it felt, unable to see, objects coming at her.
Scary. I was unsure. I may regret volunteering. I was unsure where to go. My heart is racing.
With my arm around my brave volunteer I explained: when we experience life shrouded in lies, stresses both big and small will alter our course. We are timid and unsure of which way to go. When we do not who we are, we are walking blindfolded.
Phase Two: Blindfolded, but guided
Another girl was added in. Her job was to hold the arm of her blindfolded friend and lead her to the opposite side of the room.
However, I instructed this young lady to let go of her friend’s arm prior to the third ball being thrown.
With more confidence, the blindfolded girl walked. The guide batted away the first two beach balls tossed. In spite of the blindfold, I saw shoulders more relaxed. Then, the guide let go and stepped away. Instantly, steps became hesitant and shoulders were tensed.
Why would I tell the one guiding to let go at the end?
Because not even our friends can always be there.
Tenderly I explained people, even parents, fail. We are imperfect and all have various stresses we are navigating. While we do our best to walk alongside one another, there may be some moments we find ourselves alone.
Phase Three: Freedom and truth
The blindfold was removed and my precious volunteer smiled a wide, joyful smile. I laughed along with her and stated: This time, sweet girl, walk without a blindfold. When the beach balls are thrown you may catch them, toss them aside, bat them away, or throw them back.
It was her choice.
She nearly danced as she went.
Without the blindfold, she was able to navigate the course. While she did not know when the beach balls would be thrown at her, she was able to react.
Because she could see. That is what it is like to walk through life aware of who you are.
Are you walking through life blindfolded?
When you know who you are and are grounded in that truth, life’s circumstances and stresses will not destroy you.
When you know who you are, conflicts are easier to resolve, and everyday stresses will not undo you.
I hope and pray they heard me when I said they are beautiful, they can be strong confident women. I pray they heard me say they are enough. I pray they believed me when I said they are fearfully and wonderfully made.
I pray they heard me when I said they do not have to believe every word spoken of them.
And I pray for you too, to know who you are, to know how wonderfully exquisite you are. I pray you know the world needs you to use your gifts, to exercise your strength. We need you to be you.
Michelle Discavage is generously offering one free 45-minute life purpose coaching session to one of you who comments below. Simply share one way you’ve carried a lie for way too long OR how your faith in God is showing you how to live in truth.
You can connect with Michelle at SparkedLiving. She offers a free 20-minute consultation to women who want to find out more about who they are through her life purpose coaching services.
She’s also a great blogger and I think you’ll love her site!
I struggle with lies about my worth and God’s love for me. I get glimpses, but have a hard time living it. Focusing on “abiding” helps, as does time with friends.
Abiding and hiding His word in our heart are great ways to combat that lie. Praying for you to see, know, and live in the truth of your worth.
I struggle with the lie that I have nothing to offer.
That is most certainly a lie, and one the enemy will use to keep you from doing what God is calling you too. You have been created on purpose and for a purpose!
I struggle with self esteem and feeling as if I am not enough after 30+ years of emotional abuse and the discovery of my husband’s 20 year infidelity with the same coworker. I knew who I was when we married… But that was before the emotional abuse started. I didn’t even know it was emotional abuse until the past couple of years. I thought it was the “worse” in the “for better or worse” part of my marriage vows. He is now working very hard on himself to change,he is showing remorse, going to counseling, but I just can’t shake the feelings of shame and knowing that he chose another over me, and that I am really truly not enough. No matter how much I tell myself none of it was my fault, there is something in me that just won’t truly believe it. My head and my heart can’t seem to sync on the thoughts of what I know is true and feelings that keep contradicting it.
A great attack by the enemy, to go after a woman’s appearance, her esteem and femininity. Praying for you to hear and receive Truth, and for you to find rest in Him.
His behavior and your identity are two different things. One is in the process of being healed, and so will your heart. I pray that God settles into those wounded places and takes up residence. That you see yourself clearly through the eyes of a God who loves you always.
Something I learned this weekend is that we can bring, in fact are asked to bring, our “not enough” to God so He can make it “enough”. We have to be willing to let go of those lies and believe the truth of God’s word and His promises to us, so we can move on and heal from those lies; both the lies we tell ourselves and the lies we have heard spoken to us. God desperately wants us to release those feelings of “not enough” so He can do the impossible, for its when we are not capable of changing the situation and we hand it over to God, that He is able to make it enough. It is something I’m certain we all struggle with (hand raised in the air), and God knows that, and He still wants to help us grow in Him.
Amen, so powerful!
My father took his own life when I was three. My mother went to prison when I was five. I was raised by an aunt who was an alcoholic, drug-user, habitual liar and perfectionist. I was her Cinderella. Nothing I did was ever right. As a result, at 46, I still suffer from feeling never good enough. I, myself, am a perfectionist and terrible procrastinator. Although my daughter has an incredibly charmed life compared to my childhood, I know I need to extend more grace and mercy. My biggest fear is that she’ll turn out like me.
You are a survivor, a victor. God’s strength in you is evident. You wake up, everyday, and your ability to share your story speaks of your courage.
Thank you, Michelle! The enemy also has me convinced that because I don’t spend *enough* time with God, He doesn’t hear my prayers. He is one sneaky searpent and knows my weaknesses all too well.
You are loved. You are His.
I’m so sorry for the hurts of the past. I wish it had been different for you. I’m so grateful that He heals us and allows us to give our children something different. Celebrate the things you’ve done with your children that have given them innocence, love, stability. Grow in the areas where there’s still work to be done. Apologize when you fall short, but also give grace to yourself as you continue to grow. Have fun as a mama. Laugh with them. Play. Don’t put a heavy burden on every detail, because even moms who have it all together (is there such a thing?) are far from perfect. Love, love, love them. <3
Why is it easier to believe the lies than embrace the truth of who we are in Christ?
Because of how subtle they typically are I think.
It’s familiar, Linda. It’s how we’ve come to believe or think or act and going against that feels risky, or as if we are trying to do something so new that it’s out of our comfort zone. We keep going against the old groove until a new one is formed.
I continually struggle with feeling broken and that I’m not enough. I continually feel beat down and defeated. That I have so many flaws that I will never be wanted or lovable or worthy of a healthy relationship. I’m continually seeking answers. I feel like my life has been wasted by defeat. Prayers appreciated
My prayer for you is that you would see these thoughts for what they are: lies of the enemy to prevent you from living the victorious life God intends for you. Praying truth sheds light in the darkened places.
Hi Misty, today is a new day. Just as Peter was met by Jesus and given a new name (from Simon to Cephas/Peter) we have those moments where we encounter Jesus and our life and thoughts are redefined by His love and touch. You are a woman of faith. You are loved. You are His. You are not defeated, not in any way as He took those defeats for you. My prayer today is that you stand, even if it feels shaky, and you follow where He leads, which is out of defeat into learning, into growing, into healing, into discovering who you truly are. I’m not normally this bold, Misty, and yet I pray over these comments for I have not walked in your shoes, but I know a God who loves you like crazy and I ask for direction as I pray and as I share. I sensed so strongly this word: to stand, to walk, to follow, to allow His victory over defeat to define you.
Misty, you are the winner of Michelle’s 45-minute coaching session! I’ll privately email you.
I am in the middle of a life event that has changed my life on December 18, 2014 my husband passed away.
I am so sorry for your loss. Grief will certainly shake up one’s life. Praying for you as you navigate these waters.
I feel your pain as my husband for 27 years passed away on April 23, 2015. This is the hardest thing I have ever been through. I will be praying for you Cheri.
Cheri, I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how hard this is and my prayers today are for comfort and a safe place to mourn.
Father, thank you for allowing Cheri to climb up in your arms and find that safe place to grieve. Thank you for the years she had, and thank you for the love so great that it marked her heart in such a beautiful way. Give her sacred space to mourn, to be filled by You, to sink into comfort and direction in this new and unfamiliar place. In Jesus’ name.
Wow as I read these posts and sense the painful emotions behind them and so relate. I don’t know why I always choose to go to that place of pain and sorrow but I do. I’m in my 60’s now and I still can’t just leave it with Christ. The pain of my childhood seems to have become my companion. This is not the life I want. Its a constant distraction and sabotages my relationships, and I live and often react in anger. Why can’t I leave it with my creator and God and be healed once and for all?
Trust and surrender, hard but worthy endeavors. Our temporal minds so often fall short of our infinite God. He can be trusted with it all. Praying as you pursue freedom.
Hi Loresa, My Tuesday post of “don’t embrace the words of a broken person as your identity” takes this deeper. I hope you’ll check it out. At some point we refuse to see those words as truth, so that we can see ourselves more clearly. Letting go doesn’t mean pretending it didn’t happen, but shifting our focus from what we cannot change or fix to embrace what we can. It’s baby steps of growth and new perspective. Thank you for such an honest question. <3
It is amazing how the lies from our childhood can capture us and hold us hostage well into our adult life. Without the power of Christ’s love and the TRUTH found in Scripture, we can never be truly free. I grew up thinking I was lazy and OH MY has that lie defined me. Fortunately I married a man who helped me see that I was not a lazy person, but it is sad how often he has to remind me! Thanks for an inspiring post.
Thank you for sharing your story, and rejoicing with you for the man God had for you who speaks truth and life!
I loved how Michelle brought out what was truth and what was not, and how to find our way by holding fast to the truth.