Today is my first Periscope #livefree boost. I’m thrilled to think you’ll join me! You can find me every Tuesday at 10 a.m. CT on Periscope @suzanneeller and the broadcast will be available for 24 hours. I can’t wait to see you there! ~ Suzie
We sat in the beautiful crisp evening for nearly a half an hour. She was a leader, so her battle was private. Until that moment she thought she was doing a pretty great job of keeping it all stuffed way, way down.
“I’m a mess,” she said.
Then she added other words: bad daughter, bad mom, not enough, messed up, anxious, unwanted.
She laughed through her tears. “I don’t totally understand why this is all coming up, but I wonder if I’ll ever be okay. Is this normal?”
She saw herself one way. I saw her another.
God completely saw her in ways neither of us could.
I saw a brave woman. Someone who grew up with a parent who never spoke a kind word over her baby girl. I saw a woman who loved Jesus, and continued to show up and love broken relatives when others would have walked away. I saw a woman who held close to her Savior, getting up every day with hopes that He’d use her life.
She was a picture of faith.
Yet if she had a hammer in her hand, she couldn’t have beat herself up more thoroughly.
I’m not a counselor (though I’m married to a pretty cute one). I’m not all-wise. I rarely have sufficient answers. So, hand-in-hand, we began to pray for the Holy Spirit to speak to His sweet girl.
Afterwards, she started to share the words her parent spoke, words even shared the week before. She had heard them her whole life.
You’re not like your sister.
You’re not what I hoped you’d be.
You’re not, you’re not, you’re not. . . . repeated in different ways and with different depths of hurt.
I whispered something to her, praying she’d hear.
The words of a broken human being aren’t your identity.
And there it is. The truth. The thing that holds us back is often not ours to carry. You and I aren’t responsible for a broken person’s words. We aren’t to embrace them as truth.
They are not and have never been our identity.
Put that hammer down. There’s enough damage already done without you adding to it by repeating their words over and over in your heart.
Ask God to show you what He sees.
Speak words of life daily until they begin to take root and the untruths are uprooted and replaced.
You are loved.
You are strong.
You are worthy of love.
You are a picture of faith.
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