beat us up

I’ll never do that

Have you ever said those words?

If I could stack all my nevers they might reach to the sky. I think I’ve finally come to understand this word never and it only took a few decades. ♥

Today let’s look at a few nevers and why they might keep us back from all that God has for us.


I’d never do that; I’m too afraid.

The thing is that most of us start afraid. What if we acknowledged our fears, and took a big step of faith anyway?

Can I be honest with you? Most of what I did in the first 20 years after becoming a believer, I did afraid. Sometimes I fell hard. Sometimes I embarrassed myself. Sometimes there was a win. But I learned. I grew. I started to discover that there was more inside of me waiting to emerge.

When we claim this never as truth, we miss out on all kinds of possibilities. Things that God knows we are capable of doing. Things that become a lot less scary as we try them.

We all have something to offer.

We all have fears.

We all fall short sometimes.

Let’s do it afraid and call that brave.

I’d never be considered for that position; I’m not qualified.

We might not be qualified, but we have some skills and are capable of learning. It’s okay to say, “I’m really good at X and Y, and I need a little work on Z and I’m willing to learn.”

Years ago I was a shy girl, but for some reason I was confident in this area. I’d go to a job interview and walk in believing I had something to offer. Maybe it was because I started babysitting at the age of 11, or worked two jobs in high school, or work kept food in the refrigerator and insurance on my car. Whatever the reason, I knew I could succeed if given an opportunity.

When I went in for an interview, I watched people walk in and hang their head, telling the whole world what they couldn’t do. I wondered if they knew how much better it would all turn out if they came at it a different way.

Years later I have this immense privilege of mentoring people in ministry. I see the same thing. A beautiful, amazing child of God walks in a room. She’s anointed. God has called her. The first thing she tells me (and anyone who will listen) is what she’s not. She lists all her nevers and it breaks my heart. Some might believe this is humility, but it’s not even close. It’s beating yourself up because you want everyone to find out all your flaws up front, because you’re certain they’re going to show up soon enough anyway.

We all have something to offer.

We all have flaws.

We all fall short.

The world is quick to beat us up. Let’s not do it for them.

I’d never talk to that person; they don’t even know I exist.

Just the other day Richard and I were looking at an old photo of us. He had dark curly hair and a killer smile. I was skinny.

Not cute skinny or fashionable skinny, but string bean skinny. I didn’t have a clue how to wear makeup or what to wear.

“I still don’t know understand what made you ask me out,” I said.

He shook his head. “You were beautiful. I saw your smile and I was a goner.”

I laughed.


Eye of the beholder and all of that. 

I almost let my nevers get in the way that day, so very long ago. When he came my way, I assumed he wanted to talk to my friend. I almost ditched the scene, not realizing that he saw my smile instead of my skinny self.

Okay, I can almost hear you.

Didn’t you just tell us not to beat ourselves up?

Yep, I did and I mean it. This was my work-in-progress area for way too long.

When I used to believe that I wasn’t worth noticing, I wasn’t just cheating me. I was cheating others. I was assuming that I knew what they thought, long before either of us said a word. I was telling that person subtly that they were shallow, and couldn’t possibly care about a person based on what was below the surface.

I grew out of that a long time ago. But there’s a gift from growing up super skinny or being the girl that no one noticed.

I never place a huge emphasis on the outside of a person. When I walk into a room, I’m not going to notice what you’re wearing or what you look like, but I will notice your warmth or your heart. I’ll notice how you treat others. I’ll be drawn to you by your faith and the way you live it so beautifully.

I just wish I’d given myself that same gift about 20 years before I finally did.

Sure, I tease Richard about falling in love with the skinny girl, but how he could help it when that smile came his way?

We all have something to offer.

We all have physical flaws.

We all fall short somewhere in this area.

The world is quick to tell us where fall short in this area; let’s show them what real beauty looks like.


There’s a whole other set of nevers that can trip us up. They are on the other side of doubt, tangled in ego and inflated self-confidence.

I’d never cheat.

I’d never walk away from my faith.

I’d never act like that.

I’d never get tangled up in that sin.

Honestly, I look at these and #1 and #2 and #4 are words that easily could fall from my lips. Because I love my guy so much. Because I love my God so much. Because I see the devastating effects of sin upon a heart and more so, upon a family.

proverbs 4 23

But I’m not infallible. I’m not above temptation. So I change my nevers and that allows me to address them in a more powerful way.

I don’t want to ever cheat, so I’ll protect my marriage as if it’s a treasure.

I don’t want to ever walk away from my faith, so I’ll nurture my relationship with God often.

I don’t want to ever act in a hurtful way, but if I do I will make it right.

I don’t want to ever get tangled up in that sin, so I’ll guard my heart in that area.

We all face temptation.

We all have flaws.

We all fall short sometimes.

We are all offered help and strength from a Savior bigger than ourselves.

Today is #livefreeThursday and women from all over the nation will be joining today’s discussion. I love Thursdays as we join and pray with and encourage each other.

Let’s start today’s conversation.

Share your nevers and what you learned from them.

Check out the blog posts from some amazing communicators that link to today’s conversation and see what they have to say.

Let’s do this!


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