I’ll clean your toilets.
When a friend offers to clean your toilets, or that of your loved one, that’s a good friend. While I didn’t take her up on that offer, I gratefully received others.
If you came over from Encouragement for Today, you know that our family recently received an unwanted invitation. We’ve been in that place for weeks.
Thank goodness, our girl is getting better. She’s strong, that one. ♥ Thank you for your prayers. Thank you for the cards. Thank you for loving her, and thank you for loving us.
In today’s vlog, I share the one thing that I’ve struggled with these past few weeks.
It’s crazy, but there are times I struggle with receiving kind gestures from good people. There’s probably some deep-rooted reason behind it, but I sense God asking me to release it — no matter where it comes from. You see, God is good and I receive his goodness freely. Many times, he shows that goodness through good people.
In this Summer of Permission, I’m giving myself permission to be on the receiving end of kindness.
This battle that my daughter is going through isn’t about me. It’s her battle, but I’ve learned that when I allow others to be kind to me and to my family, it makes us all stronger.
[bctt tweet=”Sometimes goodness shows up in the form of a good friend. #livingfreetogether #giveaways ” username=”suzanneeller”]
Did I mention I’m giving away five copies of my new devo today?
It won’t be out until mid-September so you’ll be some of the very first to see it. Bethany House Publishers did a great job on this gorgeous hard-cover devotion, but it’s what is on the inside that makes me happy.
Come With Me: A Year-Long Adventure in Walking With Jesus invites you to go deeper in your relationship with him. To hear his words. To sit at his feet. To become a part of the miracle that is faith. To live it every single day.
My prayer is that this will ignite the faith of women across the nation as they walk with Jesus.
How do you enter to win?
Let’s take this deeper together. I want to hear what you have to say. I’ll choose five random winners from the comments.
Answer one of the following:
- Why do you believe it’s easier to give good things, rather than receive them?
- The best thing anyone ever did for me when I was in a hard place was …..
- I want to give myself permission to receive good things because …..
If you struggle with receiving kindness, me and a beautiful team of women are waiting to pray with you.
Suzie
10 things you can do when a friend is in a hard place
On today’s Encouragement for Today devotional, I said I’d share 10 Truths to Hang On to in a Trial. I wrote that devo weeks ago, in the beginning of our hard place.
As I prepared for today’s post, I couldn’t get away from these truths instead. We need each other. best promises often show up in the form of a friend. He prompts and they obey, and it makes an incredible difference.
I hope you’ll give me grace as I share this with you today instead. It’s what is on my heart, friends. I pray that you’ll do one of these today for someone in a hard place. ~ Suzie
Download as a printable — just for you.
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I think for me when I struggle to be on the receiving end of kindness, the root is pride. I don’t like to admit to weakness or that I need help. Also I don’t want to be a burden to others.
But when I turn it round and think about when I offer help to others, I don’t see them as weak or as a burden. I just want to do what I can to help. Thinking of that helps me to be more open to being on the receiving end.
Yes. This is exactly what I was thinking. Pride gets in the way of receiving, at least for me. I don’t want anyone to see me have a big “ugly cry” episode, nor do I want anyone to make a fuss over me or my family. But, I have to get over me and myself and allow friends to do things. We went through a very hard few months several years ago, and the first person I spoke to said so many people are going to want to help. She said that friends would grieve for all of us, but if I would just let them grieve with us and allow them to help in their ways, we would both be blessed. She was so right. I let friends bring meals, pray with us, take care of our dog, take our son on fun playdates, or whatever seemed an appropriate gift from them, I would accept it. It wasn’t easy. Being a woman who always does for others, it is very hard to be on the receiving end. But, I feel like after receiving so many precious gifts of friendship, I can be a better friend and walk with friends during their times of suffering.
You are a winner of a copy of Come With Me Devotional. I’m excited to get this to you. Please send me your mailing address. If I don’t hear from you within a week, someone will email you directly.
Lesley, I couldn’t have said that any better. That is exactly how I am too. praying for you to be able to receive better!!
Thank you so much for your wise words! I have struggled over the years with an abusive marriage, death of my first-born son from suicide, and have been dealing with depression for many years. I have learned that I have been able to help others struggling with these same things, but ONLY BECAUSE JESUS IS WITH ME!
I also have learned how to receive help from others, and that some of my friends have Jesus in their hearts and stand by me. I have been blessed by this, and have very little depressions now.
Jean Dyck
The best thing anyone has ever done for me during a hard time is just being there to offer their support and love. My husband of 25 yeats passed recently at he end of May. He was in ICU for 8 months. We were true soul mates, he was/is the love of my life. We were very, very close. Having no children it has been difficult. First off faithand praying are getting me through. I havehave brothers and sisters who although theu all live out of town, they all touch base weekly. My one sister and I talk daily. I habe a good group of sopportive friends, one who just lost het husband a year ago. Attendng a bible support group and a twice monthly bereavement support group all help. Still I grieve which is normal. I miss John so vety much.
God led me to this devotional today. I have just been diagnosed with tongue cancer and I am so scared. Just getting ready for my treatments. So many people have been so nice to me and wanting to do anything.
I struggle with getting good things from people, because it feel I am not good enough. I love giving but not so much getting. Like God’s love, I still feel I am not good enough, I need to earn even though I know this is not true. Thanks SO much for sharing!
Oh Elizabeth~precious sister. All was paid on the cross…Jesus loves you so. I am sorry for your diagnosis. I imagine it is very scary. Let me lift you up in prayer:
Heavenly Father, I place in your tender hands, Elizabeth. Circle her in your love, presence, and peace. Fill her heart and soul with your love. Be with her as she starts her treatments for cancer, she is scared. Send people in her life to support her as she walks through this trial. Help Elizabeth to accept and know this help comes from you. In Jesus Name. Amen
Michele Cushatt went through this same cancer. Do you know of her? http://www.michelecushatt.com — Her book Undone is a powerful story of God walking with her through that time.
Father, cover Elizabeth with your presence and power. May she feel you so close through every step.
Thank you Suzie for your encouragement to recognize others that truly want to help. I have been going through a personal trial for almost seven years. I have said many time that I cannot imagine the Israelites going through the wilderness for 40 years. My seven years would be a breeze to them. I know my story isn’t over yet and I have to remind myself of Romans 8:28. I do know that so many people struggle with worse trials than me so I thank God for my trial as it is making me stronger. To answer one of your questions….I would have to say the best thing I received when going through my hard time was that my precious friend Peggy, would “listen”….listen to me cry, laugh and scream….almost all at the same time. She also gave me wise advise. See, she is older and has a more experienced life than me so she has been in many more hard places than I have. With that being said, she has and still is treating me like she wants people to treat her. Because of her, I am learning to be slow to speak and quick to listen. ~Lisa~
Love your words, Lisa. I lift you in prayer as you are still in the midst of your struggle. Twisted in your comment is strength. What a blessing to have a beautiful friend who will listen and not fix. That is priceless gift from God. Hugs to you.
when i was going through a hard time a friend of mine without me knowing took me out for tea and other ladies from church where there to pray for me. i was not friends with these ladies at this time but ended up becoming good friends.The gift of friendship she gave me that day and I am forever grateful.
I was diagnosed with breast cancer 18 years ago and found that I felt guilty when people wanted to do kind things for me. The most amazing thing was a friend that came and got all of my clothes, we were a family of five at the time, and washed them. I have learned how much it means to me to do kind acts for others so I have become determined to accept them when they come my way.
Best someone ever gave me a gift of friendship. Going through a hard time my friend took me out for tea. Little did I know other ladies from church where there and ended up becoming good friends of theirs. We love and support each other
Thank you for this post. I chose question 3 to answer.
I want to give myself permission to receive good things because …..I am learning of my worth and value in God. Despite my circumstances, despite my feelings, I have worth and value in God.
This is something I’ve really been working through for the past 3 1/2 years as things have gone terribly wrong in many areas of my life.
I’m grateful for God’s love and grace!
The best thing anyone ever did for me was to send people to my house to pray WITH me, on the spot, not just saying they would pray, but actually doing it right then…right in the midst of my uncertainty and anguish. The person who sent them was on her way to pick up her brother to help look for my husband who I sensed had gone to a certain location to commit suicide. With a toddler and a 6 month old, I had never been in such a “place” of uncertainty and fear. Yet, my friend knew exactly what I needed, which became a catalyst for me to later purpose to pray with anyone that I sensed the prompting of the Holy Spirit leading me to.
Gratefully, my husband was found in time, and lives today to encourage others who may find themselves on a similar path of self-destruction. And, to witness the the profound changes in his life since is simply beyond comprehension, and brings me great joy! Prayer really does change things, and has been one of the greatest things EVER done for me and my family, outside of the cross.
The best thing anyone ever did for me when I was in a hard place was to listen….not judge or ask questions. Listening is a precious skill and I pray I too will be that listener when my friend or loved one needs it most.
Bessing and peace to you, Susie, as you give and receive during this moment in your family’s life.
The BEST thing anyone ever did for me when I was in a hard place was to say, “You will not go thru this alone. No matter what happens, I will be here holding your hand and going step by step with you. I love you.” My husband was in the ER. He was having a heart attack…after heart attack…after heart attack. I thought he just had one in the parking lot at work, but the EMTs had a hard time getting him stable. The ER staff were having a hard time getting him stable enough to go for a heart cath. It was hours before my adult children and I could see him. I had called just 2 people to ask them to pray, and word had spread like wildfire. I was getting texts from #s that I didn’t know, but they were praying for us and the Drs. I was so scared…what if he died? Right at that time, my longtime friend and neighbor said the words that I needed to hear. “You will not go thru this alone. No matter what happens…” I realized that God, Jesus, and The Holy Spirit would be with me. AND Lisa would hold my hand every step of the way. Right then I experienced a peace that only God could give. My husband survived with no heart damage, AND God arranged for us to recouperate out of town. Some friends were on vacation, and invited us to come be with them and let them take care of us. The Dr ok’d this trip. Our cup was overflowing! I learned a lot thru this trial, and I use what I learned to help others in need.
It has always been easier to me to help rather than to be helped. The best way a friend helped me was by this: She asked me if I enjoyed helping people. I said yes. Does it make you feel good to help people? When I said yes she shocked me by saying “Then how dare you deny me that same pleasure!” Wow, she was right, I was speechless. I still struggle with asking for help but her voice is still in my head reminding me. I have told this story a few times to others struggling and sometimes I need to hear it again myself. I needed this reminder today.
I’m going to agree with Leslie. Pride keeps me from accepting offered help. The Army Wife community is strong. We have to be. With husbands gone for months or more at a time every other year or so. That’s hard enough. But then life stuff happens, too. We get sick. Our kids get scary diagnoses. Our parents die. The car gets totalled. The sink leaks…. Yet, we’re always surrounded by somebody who is sharing the struggle with us or has just come through one. Nobody wants to look like they can’t handle it all. Especially when Mary down the street managed just fine or Sally seems to have it so much worse. Receiving help often makes us think we look weak. We’re all too willing to help a sister out, but almost nobody wants to take it. It’s silly really. We were put in community to lift each other up. Thanks for a great thought provoking read today, Suzie! Blessings
Greetings in Jesus’ Name:
“The best thing anyone ever did for me when I was in a hard place was …..” Oh, there are many, really. I think it is people being there. Now almost 30 years ago, my husband left me and our 1 1/2 year old daughter for Italy – he was in the army, and we had a trailer to sell. Our pastor and his wife hardly knew us, but took us into their home for the unknown duration (ended up being 3+ months after hubby left). They were so very good to and for us! They went through struggles and good times with me and taught me very memorable lessons. Right after we saw my husband off on the plane, I went to the commissary, and my car started smoking under the hood. I was able to call that precious pastor, and he came to my rescue. Whew! That was only the beginning. They were there to comfort and teach throughout that period of time. Actually it was this time of year, too. Praise God!
Why do you believe it’s easier to give good things, rather than receive them?
For me I was taught from an early age that it was better to give than to receive. I have taken that to the extreme in some areas! For years I struggled with asking for help and when it was offered, almost always turned it down. I thought it was weakness or a sign of failure. As I’ve gotten older I understand that it is neither but that we all need to receive! I still struggle with compliments! Someday I will dig deeper into that!
What comes to mind is someone showing up to help me when I’m at the end of my rope, totally exhausted. I’m thinking of little things from a friend or my husband that just take the weight off when you feel like you can’t do one more thing–totally feels like God sent:)
Praying for your daughter, you and your family.
She’s doing well. She’s recovering and strong. I learn a lot from this beautiful woman that is my child.
This today spoke straight to me. My mother was where you are nine years ago. Being a survivor herself, she had to go through it again when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. She was there for every appointment, every surgery, and every chemo treatment. She didn’t have to be – she wanted to be. Along with her and the rest of my family as well as close friends I made it through and will celebrate 9 years cancer free at the end of August. I received so much from others during that time there’s no way i can possibly list it all. I tried so hard to be thoughtful person during that time but I know there are probably those I didn’t thank enough. I appreciated all that was done but a part of me didn’t want to have to be in that position. I wanted to be the giver not the receiver. even today I still fight that instinct but am trying so hard to be more accepting.
It is easier for me to give than to receive because giving to someone else gives me worth. It makes me feel good about myself. As I have thought about this, though, I realize that I am placing the emphasis on me, not on the person I am giving to. My prayer is that I will realize my worth through the eyes of my Heavenly Father and that I will learn to give to others, not to make myself feel good, but because God is using me to bless someone else.
This is so insightful!
You are a winner of a copy of Come With Me Devotional. I’m excited to get this to you. Please send me your mailing address. If I don’t hear from you within a week, someone will email you directly.
The best thing someone ever did for me in a hard time was sit and cry with me. I remember sharing a deep hurt with a good friend. She got up from the table, put her arms around me, and simply cried for several minutes. Those tears were wordless, yet they spoke volumes of affirmation to me. Sometimes we just need a friend to sit with us in our pain so we don’t feel alone. That’s what my friend did for me, and I will always be grateful.
Yes!
The best thing anyone ever did for me in a hard place……
I’m still in the hard place, have been for 16 years. God gave us a son with special needs. God gave us roads to walk that we’ve begged not to tread. God gave us a church that embraces kids that are special. God gave us a family that loves and understands when we can’t accept invitations but still includes us! God gave me a very special mama that will allow me to cry, scream, plead, and just be me while I’m going through the hard times. God gave me a mama that will love me regardless of how many phone calls (we live 16 hours apart). God gave and will continue to give as I journey along until we’re in heaven where my son will be whole, until then, I thank God for giving my mama the strength to be there for me in the zillions of tough spots😊
Oh Kathy, there’s a whole sermon in this and you are teaching it as you live. Thank you for sharing. It’s powerful.
Jesus addressed all things as they were. It is the enemy’s will for diseases and sickness depression,fear. He does this to stop our destinys for the lord. Jesus gave us an assignment. Cast out demons, heal the sick, cleanse the leapers. Freely you have received freely give.
Jesus has already won over all the works of the enemy on the cross. He’s waiting for us to come to him. He wants us to claim our promised land. The enemy trys to take our promised land and if we don’t know God’s will and his goodness and our authority in his name and have the holy spirit resting upon us the enemy knows be can come and take what’s ours. You have to fight and believe! God’s nature is healing, love, power, and peace. We are in a war, but God has already won you just have to know it, and God will heal through you. Claim your promised land! Draw close to God and he will draw close to you through the holy spirit! And you will know the truth and the truth will set you free!
Don’t believe the illusion and lies of the enemy.
I know this is a little off the course of the comments you requested, but it’s what came to mind after reading your blog. In the early 70’s, I was in my early teens, and my mother had to have back surgery. A sweet lady in our church came to our home and asked me to give her all of our ironing. My mom wasn’t home, and I remember being shocked by her offer. We were a family of 6 and my mother worked outside of the home. Being the oldest, I was responsible for quite a bit of the household chores, and I hated to iron. I was embarrassed by the amount we had, but she was so sweet and so kind, I did not know better to say anthing but, okay, I gave her our clothes that needed ironing. Another reason that this memory is so strong is, before I was out of high school, this same sweet, Godly woman died of breast cancer. While I strive to be a Godly woman, I fall short all too often. I definitely have a problem accepting help, but no problem offering it. I guess I need to return to my childlike innocent heart and simply accept the the blessing others are freely offering. God bless you for your words of wisdom, especially as you and your family go through your daughter’s trial together.
I love this story, Sherry! When I was teeny tiny, my mom took in ironing for extra money. That makes me sound like I’m a 100 years old, but it was one way to help our family make it. She was kind of like the neighborhood dry cleaner, but way cheaper and better. To this day she can iron clothes like no one else. I haven’t picked up an iron in 30 years. : ) But what a beautiful way for that woman to show your family love.
I want to give myself permission to receive good things because …..if I don’t could be blocking someone else’s blessing. If that person is compelled to give, that is a way they are sowing good seed. If I don’t receive it, I could be blocking them from reaping good in the future. Also, if I trust that God will provide for my needs, not accepting good things from others could be rejecting God’s provision!
It is funny because I have been talking about this with a special friend and we have been working on helping each other get better at this. I want to give myself permission to receive good things because I know this is part of God freeing me. I know He wants to free me from pride and form not seeing myself as worthless. He wants to set me free from needing to do it all to feel like I am worth something and to truly accept myself the way God made me. He wants to free me to receive so I can give more freely too. This is another area of “let+ting go” for me. Thank you Suzie, for your transparent heart.
I want to be the receiver of good things because this is part of freeing me — <<--- strong words that make me want to dance. : )
I remember when my husband was going through a very difficult time and our kids were in early grade school. A friend brought us a meal and a card. She did not know the details but knew something was wrong. I kept that card for years as a reminder and encouragement.
So appreciate this devo as one of my friends is in the process of diagnosis of significant health issues.
thank you and prayers for you and your daughter.
Also, I loved the “Come with Me” book. Really fresh insight into the disciples and their reality.
I have a stack of cards, a couple of T-shirts (I love T-shirts with encouraging and strong words), and some small items that I keep nearby. They have been such a source of joy and strength. <3
“It is more blessed to give than to receive.” Being the giver helps us feel purposeful & useful. Receiving is more difficult because we have to acknowledge our need and set aside our pride in order to let someone come close in our pain.
What an honest, insightful answer. You are so right. I’m learning that this is a beautiful thing, and I want to do it better. It also teaches me how to come alongside others.
Two years into my husband’s illmess, that won’t end well if God doesn’t heal. I have a hard time accepting help because for the most part I can take care if it myself. We moved to a new area shortly before his diagnosis, so no close friends here. People do reach out some but it’s hard to bring others into your most private places when you don’t truly know them. Of course, there are those who want to be your ‘friend’ so they can have the latest news and share it with others. So then you find yourself in a cycle of mistrust of others. No answers now but to depend on God.
Thank goodness that we have the discernment of the Holy Spirit. There are many who have good motivations and the Holy Spirit will show us who they are. I have had only a couple show up for the “wrong” reason, but even then I found good in it. I’m strong enough to put up boundaries as needed, but when I searched for the good I found it. I love that you brought this point up, Terri. It’s something that needs to be shared.
Praying for you as you caregiver in this hard place.
Father, thank you for Terri. Hold her close today. Bring people to her that will love her and her husband tangibly. We thank you for those friendships.
What is your husband’s illness?
Father, surround Terri with your love and peace. Bring kindness into her life from people who are truly just seeking to serve You and to help her. Help her through this difficult time of uncertainty. We pray for healing. We pray for strength. We pray for your Name to be lifted up in every way so that even in the darkest valley, Your light shines brightly – guiding each step! In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Suzie, I’m so sorry for all you’re going through. You and your husband are being lifted in prayer!
And I meant Terri again – not Suzie. 🙂
Thanks for sharing your testimony of faith. It definitely encouraged me on today. I feel that as people we give more freely than we receive is because of “pride”. Some are more transparent to stating that and others aren’t. I think once we allow people to help us in our space and our lives, we look at this as being vulnerable. Sometimes in my opinion. vulnerability is necessary in order for us to truly see the goodness of God through others. The best thing anyone could have ever done for me during a hard place was to help me seek God through prayer. I give myself permission on today to open my heart and my mind to accept the fullness of what God has in store for me. I often hold back as I’m not sure if I’m ready to face what I’m praying for. But I’m ready to allow God to make me uncomfortable in order to place me in a more comfortable position in him.
Suzie, I remember when someone offered something to help me many years ago. When I resisted her gesture of kindness she said, “It is more blessed to give than receive.” I thought, yes, I’d rather be on the giving side! But my gift to her was to let her be the giver. God has arranged it so that we both are blessed when one gives and the other receives. Much love to you and your girl.
It’s hard to choose the best thing anyone has ever done for me when I’ve been in a rough place, but I’ll share one that’s fresh on my mind. This time last year, I was getting ready to start my job teaching at an at-risk school in the area. I was supposed to be a special education support teacher where I went from class-to-class working with students, but at the last minute, I was given a room and a roster of students. I had nothing. No posters for the wall. No books for my students to read. No pencils. No nothing. And I was unemployed, so I had no money. A small posse of my friends came together and completely decorated my room to the nines, and a retiring teacher friend loaded me up with teacher/school supplies. It was hard to admit my deep need, but I’m sure glad I did.
This is beautiful! Thank you for sharing! xoxoxo
I want to give myself freedom to receive blessings because I don’t want to cheat someone out of doing what God has asked of them. I could actually be hindering someone from being the hands and feet of Jesus… how dare I?!
Thank you for this post, Suzie… so powerful and just beautiful!
Loved this beautiful heart post, Suzie! Continuing to keep you and your brave, strong daughter and family in our prayers.
Totally agree that our human desire for self-sufficiency drives us to repel help in the hard times, as we perceive accepting help to be weak. Our American culture was built on a “pull yourself up by your boot straps” philosophy, but perhaps it is time to add a “part 2” to that: “…when you can and with the help of others.”
Even Jesus, God in flesh, accepted help carrying the cross in His weakest moment – His ultimate time of need. If He can accept help during hurt, then so should we.
Can’t wait for your new devotional! Loved the book, so glad there’s more!
Thank you for hosting the giveaway, the devotional looks wonderful! In response to question 1-
Wow, have I been thinking a lot and taking notes on that lately. On the grand scale, it’s a human issue. Salvation is something we simply need to receive, but we struggle to do it. God’s goodness, gifts, provision, all the same. Surrender even is part of receiving! On the small scale, I know for me receiving even good things can wound my pride or make me suspicious that I will owe someone something or disappoint them with my response to their generosity. This is a topic I’ve been researching and exploring in Scripture so thank you today for the insight!! Glad your girl is getting better!
When I’m in a hard place, the best thing anyone can do is to just be there. Physically, emotionally. Just knowing that someone is here to listen, to empathize. That to me is gold, as when I’m going through a tough season I often feel alone in my journey. It’s hard to be on the receiving end of good things because I always feel bad for the person doing them! They have so much on their plate already, how can I accept a favor from them? It’s certainly my pride too, let’s not discount that.
That’s my biggest worry when people are helping me — thinking/fearing that it’s burdening them. But I really have learned that most (if not all) people truly do feel blessed when they know they are helping someone in need. They don’t consider it a burden at all. I agree too, that the BEST gift is simply someone’s presence and willingness to listen. Praise the Lord for the willing people He places in our lives! Let’s rejoice in them! xoxoxo
Thank you for your insightful words. Us women have a difficult time allowing someone in to bless us. We don’t want others to see “the mess” inside our lives, our families, our homes.
I have always been one to give but it is much harder for me to receive those blessings until a friend told me, ” Let me do this for you, don’t steal my blessing.”
This caught me off guard, I was stealing her blessing by not allowing her to bless me!
I wish I could say it’s easier now to let others bless me but it’s not but I do hear those words, “Don’t steal my blessing!”
Thank you for your words!
Pride and fear of appearing weak seemed to be the resounding issue with accepting kindness from others. My daughter recently moved into town. I have issues with chronic pain and fatigue. I have played the game for years. However, I have been a military wife for over 30. Control, self sufficiency, and strength are a badge I wear proudly. I don’t work outside the home so my home is my job. My daughter and her husband have generously offered to help with the house and the yard. My first thought is , “I’m not that old”,lol. God is teaching me to accept her kindness and her love because it blesses her as well. I must choose to be thankful for the love of all my children instead of focusing on what I think I are my weaknesses. It also sets the example for my daughter and grand daughters.
Amen, Sue. “God is teaching me to accept her kindness and her love because it blesses her as well.” I think that’s the BEST reason we should let people show kindness and help to us — it blesses them. I think of what it must have been like for the woman who washed Jesus’ feet w/ her most expensive perfume (a luxury in those days) and her own hair (such humility). Can you imagine if He would have refused it? Instead, He let her have that blessing and let her love Him. You sound like a VERY good mom and a strong woman — especially because you are able to see others needs at a time when you have so many. I’ll be praying for your pain and fatigue – as well as for your family. Thank you so much for sharing this!
The best thing anyone has ever done for me when I was in a hard place was honesty. Listening to me and then telling me the truth even if it wasn’t what I wanted to hear. I know you are probably looking for more of a physical answer but really I have felt most appreciative when I have had someone sit and just listen when I needed it. And then give me some honesty to steer me in the right direction.
I love this answer, Sandy. Truth is key, and when a trusted friend gives it because she loves you (and her motivations are good), it’s a gift.
I love this Sandy!! This is a gift from God. My husband has been that person in my life. Thankful for that friend in your life!
1.Why do you believe it’s easier to give good things, rather than receive them? This is so me, my family gets so mad and calls me stubborn cuz i often refuse help or a blessing, im not really sure why im like this but i think it has to do with when i was younger, at the store i would want something and my mom would always say no cuz she didn’t have the money for it then my younger sister would throw a fit till she got what she wanted leaving my mom in a place to give her what she wanted and i always felt bad cuz i knew she didnt have the money.
3.I want to give myself permission to receive good things because ….
People get blessed when they do so…my tia has a habit of always giving my money she says the Lord puts it on her heart and she gets blessed back so i should accept it (shes as stubborn as me) but it feels so good to give who am i to deny someone else that pleasure…but im still working on trying to recieve and not prove that i dont need anything including help or a blessing
Suzie ur story has struck a chord with me this morning, i pray for miraculous Jesus healing over ur daughter in Jesus name amen
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Well I didn’t expect to wake up and shed tears of thankfulness for something that happened so long ago. The most precious gift someone has done for me happened … I can’t believe it’s been 13 years ago! My husband had just been deployed to Iraq. I was still a newlywed, trying to deal with my whole world being turned upside down. Each day brought a new reason I wished he were home with me — even right down to wishing he could reach up and get that box high up in the pantry. But he wasn’t home – not even close. It was the loneliest and most desperate place I’ve ever been. But each day I woke up, washed my hair, put on my lipstick, and somehow made it through the workday. So when I pulled up one day after work and saw that my front lawn looked surprisingly GREAT, I was a little confused. Then I walked up to my front door, mesmerized by how in the world my grass was so perfectly cut and beautiful, I was met with a single yellow flower that had been tucked into the metal bars on the screen door. No note. No explanation. Just a flower and a gesture of kindness I was very much unprepared for. I walked inside and burst into tears. I later found out who had done this amazing thing for me – not because he wanted any thanks, but because keeping a secret in a police department is simply impossible. 🙂 The man was a fellow officer who worked with my husband – my husband is a police officer and was also in the USMC Reserves Infantry. I’ve never been able to thank him in person, but I know he heard about how grateful I was (and still am!) because I think I called nearly every friend I knew, crying and blubbering about his gesture. My husband heard what he’d done, too, and later thanked him in person. Yes, the Lord brought my husband home safely – and the Lord also brought me kindness and love in the form of friends who simply wanted to help during my time of need. I’m so forever grateful!
Goosebumps! So beautiful!
Rebecca, I love, love your story. Hugs to you, friend.
“I want to give myself permission to receive good things because …..”
These verses inform my thoughts on how to receive from others: Col 1:17-18 And he is before all things, and by him all things consist. 18 And he is the head of the body, the church: who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead; that in all things he might have the preeminence.
Any person who gives is just extending God’s arm to meet me where I am. He is before ALL things. God is ultimately the giver of any gift I receive. yet I am tempted to bypass this truth. Instead, I often look at the one handing me the gift rather than the One true God.
We have full permission to receive any and ALL gifts as if God Himself came down and placed it in our grasp! He didn’t even spare His Son on our behalf, and He lavishes us with gifts everyday. We are FREE to receive! Because the truth is, we do nothing BUT stand with hollow palms before Him and receive! <3
Thought provoking, Suzie! Love it! Hugs!
Christy~powerful words and so true. To look at each gift, we receive from others as if God, Himself, was placing them in our hands. That is a heart changer for me. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
It is easier to give good things than to receive them because we just do not feel worthy of receiving good things, at least in my own case. I know it can be a challenge to believe that we deserve these good things when we know we are not living the way we should. I have recently started to study God’s word more in depth, and it seems that every time I do, the message I read speaks directly to me. Even in Genesis,God made humans in His image. criticizing ourselves discounts what God has made and the abilities He has given us. Reviewing this idea has shown me so much today. I know that I am worthy because God made me that way, even when I fail Him daily. Tomorrow is always a new day and He is willing to help us follow Him and show us the way over and over until we get there.
I always find it easier to give than to receive bc giving something you know someone needs, wants, &/or will appreciate makes me feel happy inside. The best thing anyone has done for me in a time of need would be praying for me, being there to listen & show they sincerely care, &/or going out of the way, randomly offering to help.
The best thing anyone ever did for me wasn’t just one thing. Years ago, as God was freeing me from a lifetime of being controlled by my mom, He blessed me with ‘another mother”. She walked alongside me, encouraging me everyday, for more than a year. God used her to show me what a mom’s love is supposed to look like. She modeled unconditional love to me, everyday. She gave her encouragement without reservation, and without judgement. She taught me what it looks like for a mom to love someone else without an agenda. I will be forever grateful for her love, her selflessness and her strength of faith. She introduced me to her Savior through her deeds for me, because that was the only language I’d been taught to understand. God saw my desperate need and provided exactly what would sustain me through my dark valley. By doing so, He forever changed my life and my perspective.
What a beautiful gift, Terri!!
Hi Suzanne,
I can tell you have been through some difficult trials in your life…God is always holding us, shaping us, preparing us. Our role is to let go and be the clay in His holy hands and trust the outcome to Him. You are a beautiful example of His work and your faith in creative loving harmony through the fires of life.
God Bless, you and your family. Jill
For me, it’s easier to give than receive. For much of my life I have lacked the confidence that what I am and what I do matters. Throughout my childhood I never felt good enough. Then in the hands of an emotionally abusive husband my lack of self-esteem and confidence only got worse! Even though I’ve been divorced for 11 years I am still feeling the long term effects of that relationship. The end result is I feel in my heart that I’m not important enough to have anyone bestow kindness on me. My overwhelming sense of inadequacy makes me feel unworthy of kindness. I can’t accept someone helping me because I’m undeserving! Now, I know in my head that this isn’t true, but time and time again I feel that feeling rise when someone tries to offer me help or show kindness. I would much rather be the person giving the help or kindness because then it makes me feel less inadequate and less unworthy. It thrills my heart to make others happy because it takes the attention off of me!
Lord, thank you for such an honest, insightful comment from Sarah. She is worthy of receiving, and you give her the greatest gift of all. Yourself. You give that to all of us. You poured out the gift of the Holy Spirit, who shows us the plans of the Father over us. Thank you for that as well. Lord, continue the good work you have begun in your daughter’s heart. Sarah is not defined by the words of broken people, but the truth of Your Word. <3
Thank you for sharing your heart Sarah! I know the process is hard. Lord I pray that you would whisper your words of truth to Sarah’s heart. I pray those lies of inadequacy and unworthiness would be replaced with your truth. I pray Sarah would know your love in real ways and that You would encourage her today Lord! Love you Sarah! I will be praying for you and your sweet heart!
The best thing anyone ever did for me when I was in a hard place was teach me to gracefully receive their gift. I was asking for prayer weekly in my Bible Study Group and one of the ladies came over afterward and offered to bring dinner for me and my husband. I responded, “Oh, you don’t have to do that,” and without missing a beat she replied, “I know I don’t have to, but I want to.” I learned from that point on to receive the gift and say, “Thank you.” The best life lesson ever!
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I think it is humbling to receive kindness from others. I am very independent, I’ve had to be independent. Or so I thought. As I have learned over the past several years God wants me to be dependent on Him. None of this independence will do with Him. So when I get kindnesses from others I have to fight the pride of independence, humble myself and graciously say thank you, God bless you
I think this is absolutely the heart of my struggle — right now the true struggle not mine, but even as I step in to help her I think I can somehow do it all. Women are strong, I love that! It’s also sometimes our weakness!
I love the scripture that says “When we are weak He is strong.” Sometimes our weaknesses (an inability to receive from others) rob us of the blessings He has for us. However humbling it may be to receive another’s kindness, we are to pattern our lives after His. We are one body and we all must learn how to serve AND be served.
Suzie, I loved your honesty. I love to help others but when it comes to receiving I struggle greatly. Someone once told me something that helped me, “When you don’t allow others to help it is selfish because you rob them of the joy of helping.” When I switched my thinking, it got a little easier. I know for me it feels so good to help.
The best help anyone ever gave me was when we were in a terrible time, and she invited us over and said she didn’t care if we cried or screamed at each other she just wanted us to come. She could handle whatever came her way. She allowed us to be real.
I must have missed what is going on with your daughter and I don’t need to know but I AM PRAYING!!
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I want to give myself permission to receive good things because …..
It is okay to release something I need help with. Also, it just maybe what she/he needs in life (may they are struggling to feel needed)
Thank you Suzie
Yes!! Christylb-to refuse their help may rob them of a much needed blessing!!
Asking for or accepting help is admitting weakness, and very few of us want to be known as weak. Ironically, it’s often only when we’re too weak to stand on our own that we turn to the Lord for His strength. Accepting (and, yes even asking) for another’s help gives them an opportunity to practice serving like Jesus and the receiver an opportunity to practice humility and admitting our need. This is an area I definitely need to grow in!
You and me both Julie!!
I need help but am becoming hesitant in asking for help because when I asked for help I was ignored, then congratulated when I solved the problem myself. Also I get the feeling my neighbors daughter does not believe I need help, I do not want to cause a family fight, so I do not ask for help.
I’m sorry, Cheri. That’s hard.
Right now I am giving myself permission to receive blessings from others because I am physically exhausted between healing from surgery and helping a friend with her foster children and fur baby, birds, fish and cat. Right now, no one is offering, but I am open to allowing others to help. Even though I have been able to eck out time with Abba daddy every morning my chronic illness is starting to rear it’s ugly head and I hate to admit it I am feeling pretty empty. Prayers appreciated, I watch the children and dog until Monday and go over and feed the other pets for the next few days. Pray the dog sleeps and doesn’t bark all night-she barked for 4 hours straight last night…11:30-3:30am 😔 I sure wish I knew Pomeranian!! So sorry for complaining, prayers appreciated….praying you are blessed today.
The best thing anyone and several others have done for me while I faced being alone, in a new place, a relatively new state, after being married over 31 years and facing divorce…that many have OFFERED the sacrifice of: their home for me to stay for various court dates, for staying unlimited time while finding a new place to live in a different state, to offer their home to come and just be with people while I sorted things out, to come from 3 states away and pack up my part of the possessions, and pack up the POD to move, to come and sit with me at Mediation (again from several states away), to pray, pray, pray over me and lift me up when I did not know what I would be doing next. This season is God showing me, no, showering me with His many blessings through others ministering to me when it is usually me helping others. It is a humbling place to me. I have not had to ask for one thing…every sweet gift was offered!
I want to give myself permission to receive kindness from others because I’m worth it, I’m loved by God and in humility I can grow closer to God and become more like Him.
I think I find it easier to give than receive because I do not want to be a burden to those around me because I know many already have their own busy schedules or they may not necessarily feel like doing something but may feel obliged since we are in a Christian community and they might feel the pressure that they have to.
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The best thing that anyone did for me when I was in a hard place was give me permission to be in the many different levels of that hard place and work through each one suspended in God’s perfect timing and not my own. We suffered a miscarriage last year and it has been very difficult. Praise God for His continuous promises and truth. That is what is getting me through in each segment of the 24 hours He has promised.
Blessings!
It’s easier for me to give because I love to help out when others are in need. Loving God is easy because he gave so easily.
Amen!
Love your video, Suzie. It’s definitely easier for me to GIVE good things to others than to receive them! I think for me, it’s because I feel like I shouldn’t bother anyone. I don’t want them to take any trouble for me. But oh how life-giving when someone offers goodness and I receive it!
This a good one. Giving then to recieve. Some people it’s the small things that make them happy. Even if it’s a smile or hug
hi! the best thing anyone ever did for me when in a hard place was.. send me letters of encouragement and a commentary. i don’t have that anymore but those times i cherish and now can encourage others and my kids
My husband has recently been diagnosed with Multiple Mylinoma . He started on a few weeks ago on chemo and is doing OK. It’s hard for me to remain hopeful but the kindness of my daughter, a nurse, is making this journey so much easier. I also have friends praying for my husband and family. The Lord has been by my side throughout this trying time and it is comforting to know that no matter what happens my family isn’t alone! I am feeling very blessed!
I had stage three colon cancer at age 36. My children were 6, 4, and 18 months. My protocol included 2 months of high dosage immunotherapy followed by 6 months of low dosage chemotherapy. During the chemo stage a single woman took my children for a whole Saturday so that I could rest after that weeks chemo while my husband worked. Another friend took our laundry to her house to do it and then brought it back folded and figured out where to put it away.
In turn when a friend of mine was released from behavioral health hospital I went to her home with my three little ones, three times a week to unlock her medications and dose them for the next two days. I did this for about 6 – 8 weeks.
I think the example other people set for me during my cancer treatments set the stage for me to know how to give when someone else needed it. I’m thankful for that.
Personally, it is so much easier for me to give than to receive. Giving is easy because I am the one in control. Receiving puts me in a position of being vulnerable somehow. I believe that there are others who are uncomfortable with receiving for this very same reason. At a young age, I became a caregiver for my mother who was seriously ill and after her death I tried working in a production job but found myself drawn to healthcare. I became a nurse. I have come to realize that in this role, I base my success on how others feel – the things I do are all working toward the goal of causing another to feel better. The reverse of this (someone doing something for me) brings feelings of uneasiness…. feelings of vulnerability yet refreshing at the same time. Thoughts of “Someone else in greater need should be the recipient of this…” or “No – I am the one that is supposed to be the helper” vs “Wow! This feels pretty good!” I struggle with feeling selfish when enjoying the nice things others do for me. I know that we are created to live in community – helping each other. Sometimes we are to be the helper and sometimes we are to be the one being helped… His perfect design.