Our thoughts are powerful.
We have about 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts a day. Did you know that?
That’s a huge span. For those of you on the 60,000 register, that means your brain rarely rests. But let me share something else I find fascinating. According to some researchers, as many as 98 percent of our thoughts are exactly the same as we had the day before.
If you are thinking positive thoughts, that’s pretty cool. If you are thinking about that insult someone made day after day, not so much. If you are waking up, going to bed, going about your day trapped in thoughts of revenge, anger, or rehearsing the hurts of the past, that’s pretty painful.
There was a time that my thoughts held me captive. When I prayed about it, God kept drawing me to the word forgive. When I asked people how to forgive, they would say things like, “Just do it.”
Hmm. Not so helpful.
So I began a deep study of the word forgive. I did it because I wanted my thoughts — and me — to be at peace and whole. I wanted to walk in freedom. I wanted to give my children a woman that wasn’t shackled to the past. As I studied, I discovered that forgiveness has many powerful meanings. These are only four of them:
To let go
To give generously/abundantly
To cover or find shelter
To cancel
To let go
As we forgive, we give it up and start to let it go. It allows us to leave one place to find another — to leave anger to find joy; to leave the past to live in the present; to leave behind the words or sinful actions of another to embrace who God says we are.
To give generously/abundantly
As we forgive, it’s a generous act. For some of us, forgiveness is something we can do by ourselves. The act was so wrong that it’s bigger than us. Yet as we hold up our hands to receive God’s mercy over our own heart, he helps us spill that over others.
Forgiving generously is not excusing wrong actions or sinful behavior. It’s not saying it’s OK. It’s not saying that this person doesn’t need to face the consequences of his or her behavior.
Instead, it’s releasing the power it holds over our heart. It’s surrendering to the good work that God wants to do in us, and maybe even through us. It’s placing that person in God’s hands and praying that they find his love, but no longer trying to fix, appease, punish, or be God in that person’s life.
[bctt tweet=”When we live as a debt collector, it’s usually the innocent that pay. #livingfreetogether #ComeWithMe #SpiritLedHeart https://wp.me/p4jbdw-1l” username=”suzanneeller”]
To cover or find shelter
This was a surprising gift of forgiveness. Much like tar poured over a roof, we are covered as we forgive. The rain no longer seeps in the cracks.
We find shelter to grow and discover who we are. To trust again. To open our lives to healthy risks and relationships. We walk, talk, and live as if we are sheltered in God’s love, for that is our truth.
To cancel
We are no longer debt collectors. We aren’t living our lives to collect, punish, or exact payment for wrongs, for the problem with living as a debt collector is that it’s usually the innocent that pay.
As we forgive, we give that job away for we have life to live. Things to do. Freedom to explore.
Why talk about this?
My whole theme this year, sweet friends, is “equipped.”
We often think of living equipped as what we put on, but sometimes it’s just as important what we allow God to remove.
If 98% of your thoughts are what you thought about yesterday, and the day before, and the years before that, it’s time to step into the new he has for you. Doing that equips you. It redefines you. It launches you into the person you were always meant to be.
Suzie
What are you thinking?
That’s a hard question to answer, right? Yet it’s important to be honest with ourselves if we are thinking 98% of the negative we carried around the day before.
- Ask God to shine a light on your thoughts.
- Ask for help to redirect those thoughts.
- Give yourself grace and time, but refuse thoughts that take you down a road you don’t want to go.
- Celebrate those days that you see change and growth!
Related resource
If unforgiveness has tied your thoughts up in knots for far too long, there’s hope. The Unburdened Heart: Finding the Freedom of Forgiveness is gentle. It’s different as it doesn’t say, “Just forgive.” Instead, it leads you into the power and freedom of forgiving.
If you have been hurt by the action of others and cannot break free from the hurt and bitterness that takes over your life as a result , then grab this lifeline. ~ Amazon reader review
Again Suzie…you nailed it for me. Thank you. Bless you.
your every word is golden.. and worthy to be pondered… as a recovering ‘addict’ I’ve found thru the 12 step recovery process.. one way to forgive.. is indeed the 2nd one you mentioned..’to give……….etc..””
I’ve found that sometimes.. the ‘forgiving’ works best.. and quite fast..when I do a good deed for the person who has
just triggered a negative emotion… sometimes.. I do it anonymously.. since ‘gong to the person ‘ is out of the question.
And I’ve also found the hardest part is to 1) yes..talk over the ‘offense’ with ONE other person’…and then 2) keep my
mouth shut about ‘it’… — and when the issue comes to mind.. I’ve found the best way to eliminate the negative
thought/emotion is with .. a ‘spoken out-loud Word from Sacred Scripture…
thanks for your WOW Words Of Wisdom..
JOY
Thank you for sharing your story! I will pray for you to continue to live the life God has planned for you! ♥️
Thank you for your words of truth, they washed over my aching soul. The one person I need to forgive is myself. I’ve had a very destructive past, was careless in my marriage and did not realize the impact that was also making in my children’s lives. Once I gave my life to Jesus, asked my husband for forgiveness and began on this new path in life, I thought life would be great. Was I ever wrong!! Even though I know I am forgiven (by God and my husband) I still struggle with letting go and forgiving myself. I will be praying more in the word to allow God to fully free me from my past so I can fully step into the future He has for me! 🙏🏼♥️
Shannon, me too! I will be holding you up in prayer as you grasp how deep God’s love and forgiveness is for you. Romans 8:1 says there is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus—none!! Praying you are blessed today as you feel the freeing feeling of self forgiveness!
Beautiful Suzie and so full of truth that frees us from an event, or events, of our past. I read forgiveness is “to untie yourself from someone or something.” Isn’t that a lovely thought? When we unite a boat from its mooring, it drifts away from what holds it in place. We can drift away from what holds us stuck in a negative place by forgiving and simply choosing to untie ourselves from that past pain point. Easy? No. Worth it?
Absolutely.
Jesus came to save, heal and deliver us – what a gift!
And your words always gently and lovingly guide us to His Good News. Thank you.
Yes ma’am, that’s a beautiful way to describe it!
Thank you so much for sharing this truthful message. Forgiveness frees us like butterflies but sometimes those thoughts come back. I believe it is God showing me that I haven’t truly forgiven. Those hurtful things of the past start drifting back in… painful memories during childhood and how one parent(even until death) and sibling treated me. I want to be pleasing to my Heavenly Father and truly be free of unforgiving the past.
When we begin to step into freedom is exactly when the enemy wants to convince us that we aren’t free. When those thoughts come, hand them back. Refuse them entry. Remind the enemy that God is greater. That he has a plan for you and it doesn’t include the adversary’s plan. It’s joy. It’s a new season and a new chapter. Those thoughts don’t mean that you aren’t free. It means that you are and the enemy recognizes it so he’s trying one more time to entice you back to bondage. He’s not strong enough. He’s not greater. We come around you today and praise God for the miracles he’s done in your life, and the miracles to come!
Suzie thank you so much for your encouragement. Satan is a liar and the father of all lies!!! I choose Christ!!! Thanking God for your faithfulness in sharing what he has laid on your heart. I pray that he will continue blessing your ministry and many women will come to know Jesus and be strengthened in their faith. Loving you in Christ my sister
Wow. I wish I could convey this message to my sisters without them turning against me. Which is what would probably happen, because it’s happened before. Please pray for them, and me, as we continue to struggle with an 8 year old battle between them. God will reign!!! I know that in my heart, but my head keeps fighting it. Thank you, Suzanne, for your heart for God. May God bless you!!
Thank you – and God – for this message today. I can’t tell you how timely it is and how desperately it was needed. Thank you.
Father, thank you for Dori. Often you begin the work in our own hearts long before others sign up. For even if they choose not to forgive, we want to live free. We won’t wait for anyone else to be free before we start our own journey. I pray peace over Dori’s heart. I pray freedom for her. I pray joy. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Suzanne,
Thank you for this article. I received a message from my Godmother yesterday on how to forgive. I believe this is a timely word for me. I’m in an emotional and verbal abusive marriage. My husband started drinking vodka everyday since I stuffed a stroke in January 2014. He been sleeping in our livingroom since the stroke. I’m doing great, but every week he starts so kind of drama. It’s weighing on me.
Father, we pray for Renoda. You don’t excuse emotional and verbal abuse, but you help us with wisdom, direction, depths of mercy and grace that show us how to fight well against the enemy of our soul. Lord, we lift up this husband to you today. We pray that you speak to him, that you draw him to healing and wholeness. We rebuke this alcoholism that has trapped him and bullied him, and ask that you draw him to the foot of the cross where he surrenders and finds you real. Cover Renoda with peace. Give her direction and strength. Show her the value of her life to you, for she is loved and beautiful in your sight. In Jesus’ name we pray, amen.
Amen. I know I have dealt with this. Something doesn’t work out like I thought it would or prayed it would, and it’s incredibly tough to move forward without holding onto all the baggage. So many times it involves other people. I’ve found I’m very good at beating myself up, thinking about what could have been different, but at the same time I know Jesus doesn’t want me to do that. Sometimes it’s the baggage I hold on to for the longest–maybe I do it to help me process and heal, but in the end, I know holding on to the past or the hurts or the baggage is never good. And, through God’s grace I’m letting go of the past to focus on the bright future He has prepared for me. Thank you again.
I found your definitions of forgiveness helpful, especiallly:
To cover or find shelter
Thank you.
I am going to but the book as I need deep help in forgiving me daughter who abuses me so dreadfully.
It works Phil 4:8
With pen and pad begin writing only the good and pure things you know about your daughter and your heart will experience Thanksgiving. Be patient as you begin this new way of thinking. Your heart will have a light load instead of heavy with unforgiveness and fread
Dear Suzie… thanks for your comment re: Phil.4:8..and how to forgive.. your ‘to-do’ was to make a list
of all the good qualities of the person who has offended in the past..or continue to offend..
Writing down all the good ‘stuff’… and I wanted to share that I, too had to stop taking an inventory of my mothers’horrible treatment of me.. and the way is exactly as you say..’write out..the good of the person..
I actually had to start with..the good was .’she had great nails.. how sad is that but that opened the door to seeing
good in her..and along with that I had to stop speaking and thinking the negative about her..
and since family knew of the abuse.. even 20 years later it’s brought up…and then I just testify of the Power of
the Blood of Christ..and the power of Sacred Scripture..
thanks for reminding me of this..
blessings Joy Howell
My daughter (adult) is an alcoholic and drug addict..she abuses me reguarly..i knw ur pain dear lady..lets lift each other up n prayer
Positive thinking isn’t enough. Affirmations are good. Phillipians 4:8 tells us how to think. Letting go is so good, it is great not to carry other people’s baggage.
Dear Suzie,
I love this book “The Unburdened Heart”- I treasure this book! This is a book worth reading and re-reading and read again! Thank you for writing this wonderful book! I have the hard copy plus I have it on my Kindle!
I couldn’t agree more. I have read it 3 times so far and every time I read it, I take away something new. This book has been a source for serious spiritual growth in my life. So thankful for this book!
You just made my day, Marilyn. <3
I also ask for prayer to learn to forgive myself for past events……I know God has forgiven me, but I can’t seem to forgive myself or redirect my thoughts. Satan keeps reminding me daily , even tho I tell him to back off in name of Jesus. Your writings are a blessing and comforting. Thank you in advance for prayers.
Jan, I wrote a book called The Unburdened Heart: Finding the Freedom of Forgiveness. I hope you’ll check it out. One thing that I share in it is that we are not asked to forgive ourselves. Instead, we are asked to accept the forgiveness that has already been granted that puts our sin as far away as the east is from the west. It’s not a clean slate, because a clean slate still has grey residue on it. It’s a new slate, handed to us by the grace and mercy and love of God. We deal with the consequences of our actions. We sincerely make wrongs right. Yet we move beyond that old sin to live in the new God desires to give us. It’s so freeing! Accepting His forgiveness allows you to live fully in today. Your sin is reframed through His grace, and you are free to discover what God has for you today.
Dear Suzie.. I’m questioning your comment re: ‘we are not asked /told to ‘forgive ourselves’..etc.
and I’ve held that belief for years..and then got corrected by many Bible believing women..as well as pastors.. etc.
And they said .. ‘we ARE to forgive ourselves.. etc”
.. so then I started to think in a different way… ‘we cannot give away what we don’t have’.. ”’ treat others as we treat ourselves…”etc
and that led me to think.. I receive God’s Forgiveness * I am to pass it on..and if I’m forgiving others.. with the words of
“Father forgive them for they know not what they do”.. why wouldn’t it be fitting for me to say’. I forgive me for
I didn’t know what I was doing (at those times)
.. so.. I’m still on the page as you are.. b/c I really cannot find anywhere in Sacred Scripture where it says we are to forgive ourselves..
could you speak to this topic..more… thanks..
Joy Howell
Joy, sometimes it’s just a matter of how we phrase our words. I’m not God. I can’t forgive me, and I don’t see a scripture in all the Bible saying that it’s what we are supposed to do. And yet I see this beautiful offer of a new beginning. Of forgiveness so rich that it reminds me of who I was always meant to be. Of separating my sins from me as far as the east is from the west. Of abundant mercy and walking into his presence without shame. Of confessing my sin and finding forgiveness.
I believe as we receive those promises, we begin to live them. We confess. We make right our wrongs, if that is possible. We acknowledge that our sins hurt others, and damaged ourselves. Then we receive, and receive, and fill up with what is offered, which allows us to then live in truth and joy and with self-control (fruits of the Spirit), and our lives begin to reflect what a mercy-filled live looks like.
Dear Suzie.. thanks for your insightful comment.. and to the gal who wrote you a similar message. (just before mine) .each response you gave to both of us……….hit home..and has me totally back on the page.. of “we are not asked..nor can we forgive ourselves.”
Why is it ”at times”what we hear in Bible Studies.. or even from the pulpit..seemingly contrary to what the Bible ‘seems to say…
just more to pray about..to be sure..
May God continue to bless you.. greatly as you bless others thru your writings..
blessings..JOY H.