If you came over from Encouragement for Today, welcome. This isn’t just a blog. It’s a community. Grab your Bible. Grab a friend. Let’s dig deep into this topic together! And hey, there’s a couple of free printables at the end! ~ Suzie
Some days we don’t know what to do
Not just what to do, but the best choice to make in the moment. The wisest decision for the long term. For the person standing in front of us.
Just yesterday I found an empty chair and put my head in my hands. I was frustrated. I didn’t want my emotions — which were all over the place — to rule.
In those hard places, we can be honest with God.
Lord, I have no idea which way to go next, but I trust you’ll show me. Give me the words to say and the words to hold back. See these emotions all over the place? I need direction.
If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it. James 1:5-6 (The Msg)
I’m not going to pretend that I’m all-wise, but there are 10 questions that I’ve learned to ask myself when wisdom feels elusive.
#1 – Have I prayed about this?
When we pray, the Lord will lead toward wisdom rather than away. He desires the best for us.
#2 – Have I acknowledged how I feel?
Stuffing our feelings is never healthy. We don’t have to wallow in them or shout them out to the world, but we do need to give them room to breathe. Acknowledge them.
I’m angry. I’m hurt. I’m confused. I feel let down. I feel out of control. I feel alone.
God already sees this, because he sees you — and loves you like crazy. Saying them out loud validates the feeling, but also allows us to move beyond them.
#3 – What is the short-term benefits of going with my feelings?
Just as you acknowledged your feelings, be honest about the fact that going with your feelings offers some benefit.
I’ll feel better right now if I [fill in the blank] because [fill in the blank].
#4 – What is the long-term impact?
Now, let’s balance #3 with wisdom. The problem with emotions is that it blinds you to consequences. We know the short-term benefit, but what is the long-term impact?
On you. On your child. On that relationship.
Factor that in.
#5 – What is my role in this?
When I asked this question yesterday, I had a role to play. There was one thing I could do. But not before praying. Not before asking God to show me his heart in it. Not before I took a deep breath and let my brain catch up with my emotions.
What is your role? What can you do? What is God asking you to do? What is the right time and right way to do that?
#6 – What is not my role?
You’ll be surprised at how often we are trying to micromanage, fix, or do what someone else should be doing. It’s frustrating and sets us up for failure. It’s also exhausting. Put those down. I know it’s hard, but you’ll be surprised at how life changing this is. It will take practice, but the more we do it, the more energy we have left over to play our role.
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#7 – Who am I listening to?
Who has your ear? Who is affirming your choices? Who is speaking into this situation? That can range from God to people to social media. Be honest about this.
#8 – Does that person’s life reflect wisdom?
There is a difference between someone affirming our bad choices, and someone who loves us enough to speak truth.
Refuse to allow people who are living unwisely in their relationships serve as your counselor.
Refuse to allow people who are deep in debt to affirm unwise spending habits.
Refuse to allow those who lives don’t reflect the fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) to tell you how to live.
#9 – Is anyone’s voice louder in my ear than God’s?
If so, be intentional about tuning them out so you can tune in to the One who has a plan and a purpose for you.
#10 – What is the next right step?
Few of us receive a detailed spiritual map of what to do, where to go, or what it’s going to look like in the end. Instead, we take one step at a time. When in doubt, ask this question: What is the next right step?
Then take it.
If you need prayer today as you ask these questions, let us know. I’m praying for you. There’s a team of women praying for you.
Suzie
Resources just for you
- Download today’s printable: 10 Questions To Help You Make Wise Choices . Tuck it into your Bible or journal, or tape it on a mirror where you can see it every day.
As you walk daily with Christ, you walk wisely. This devotional, Come With Me Devotional: A Yearlong Adventure in Following Jesus, will help you get started.
- This 5-day sample of the Come With Me Devotional is free just for you!
Good morning,
Yes i need prayer.
Sylvia, I am praying for you. I pray that God will lead you to make the right decisions and will comfort and bless you.
Lord, Help Sylvia today. Lead her. Speak to her. Show her the next right step. Remind her of your great love for her. In Jesus’ name.
This couldn’t have been better timed for me. Thank you for this. I need prayer going forward making wise choices and dealing with the not so wise choices I’ve made in the past.
Amen…i agree me too,need prayer to make wise decisions..
Lord, help this daughter of yours as she seeks you first. In Jesus’ name.
Thank you!! I started a new job in a leadership role just after New Year… Today’s devotion is perfectly timed and exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you for sharing God’s Word with me today. The voices and pull of many players all in different directions abound daily; I so appreciate your practical questions to consider and directive to pause!
Please pray that my teams see Jesus through my leadership.
Wow, God is definitely speaking to me through your words! I’m struggling so much with parenting my strong-willed child. The advice I get from others is all over the board. I’m not sure how much of her behavior may be her attempts to get more of my attention and time or how much is true willful defiance, and I’m often confused about disciplining more firmly vs spending more quality time with her. Please pray for me! I want to be the mom God would have me to be, and to lead her to Christ, but I feel lost as to how to do that without damaging the relationship or being too permissive. Thank you for your prayers!!
Kimberly, I understand your heart. I am a parent of a 30-year-old and a 28-year-old, and I still struggle with the same desires and some of your questions from time to time. Parenting is tough, and it can be raw. I love your willingness to open up your hands and ask God to step in for help.
Father, we praise you for being our Father of wisdom. You see our every need and desire. You understand our hearts who look for leadership and guidance. Lord, I lift up Kimberly as she is seeking your will and how to parent her child. Her hands are open wide for you to flow in wise steps and how to love and nurture a child of will. I thank you that Kimberly is seeking you for knowledge and wisdom. Bless her for that. We pray for Kimberly’s precious child that you created. You made her from love to love. You love her even more than her mama. Bless this precious one and surround her in all her days. God, we thank you for meeting us today. We thank you for your everlasting love. Amen.
Wow, Kimberly! This is exactly what I go through with my own daughter. She is extremely strong-willed, defiant, needy … and the sweetest, most loving heart who needs Mommy time too. It’s interesting that this post has to do with emotions because I’ve learned that disciplining my daughter when I’m spinning with too many raw emotions never goes well. But when I take time to pray and breathe and handle her with a firm and confident resolve, she responds so much better. My daughter definitely needs my time, and I’m trying to give that undivided attention to her more. But she will also demand my time no matter what. Talking about the time I can’t/can’t give has helped – as well as me just realizing I’m a good mom and not getting sucked into the guilt trip. And most of all, pray! Pray for your own strength and understanding. Pray also for your daughter. The other day we’d had a particularly bad day after I dropped off my daughter and son for school. Of course, the trouble had been with my daughter. So I came home and was so upset. Instead of stewing or sulking, I walked into her room and just started praying in tears for her — that the Holy Spirit would fill her heart and surround her everywhere and put a gentleness and kindness in her heart. I stood there for probably five minutes pouring out holy fire into that room! LOL I know God hears our prayers and I felt His presence there with me. Praying for our children is one of the most powerful things we can do for them – and for us. I know I’ve rambled on but your comment really struck my heart and I wanted to share this with you. I hope it helps. I know Suzie’s words will! xoxoxo
Thank you so much for this, Suzie! Such good truth! I’m seeing that I need things like this resource to pull out when my emotions are all over the chart or my thoughts just feel more like chaos than peace. Thank you for sharing this process! Really good!
Yes please pray for me and my husband !! It is an unspoken request!! Thanks Susie for your word’s of encouragement!! Praying for you too!!
Father, you hear Joyce’s heart and our prayers for her. You see her and know her every need. Father, hold her close. Comfort and strengthen her. Lead her and help her to see Your purposes. Help her to fix her eyes on You. In the midst of everything, help her to remember that every mountain has a peak. Mend all that is broken and use what the enemy plans for evil, for good instead. In Jesus’ name ~ Amen. xoxoxo
Lord, you know Joyce’s heart and the need in this relationship. Today Joyce turns to you, long before she turns to social media, to other people, to books, or to her own feelings. Help her find the center in this as she prays. To reach for you and find you close, for scripture promises us you are not far away. Take these feelings and gently speak truth over her heart. Show her the next step. In Jesus’ name.
Such wise questions, Suzie. Thank you for inspiring me. Sharing on Twitter and Pinterest.
Just what I needed today! I have been contemplating a career move that insist of travel 3 days/ week. While I have 2 children who would spend time with their father on these days of being away, I’m still struggling on is this a wise decision to make. It’s my hearts desire to want to do this but is it wise?
Thank you so much! I will continue to pray about this decision and only allow wise, godly advice into my life.
Holy Spirit, you promise to lead us. You know the Father’s heart over us. Today I pray with Sondra. Show her the next step. Speak truth and wisdom and direction over her heart. Shut out every noise but that of your voice, as Sondra gets alone in order to hear. In Jesus’ name.
I’m sharing this on Facebook!! Thank you for your godly wisdom!!
Thank you for your encouraging blog today, as well as this list. I recently found out that my husband cheated on me 3 times last year. I feel so heartbroken, devastated, sad, mad, and so many other feelings. We have
been married for 7 years , and have a 3 year old son. After much prayer, I do feel and know that God wants us to work through this and that He wants to heal our marriage. He’s been flooding my heart and mind with His peace, which I’m so thankful for. My husband wants to work on our marriage, which is encouraging & we are looking for a counselor. So many of my thoughts are filled with “God, I don’t know how to do this or what steps to take next. Please show me what to do, because I want to do this Your way.” Your list of questions to ask ourselves in moments like these is really helpful. Could you please pray for me, my husband, and our marriage, and our son too? Thank you so much.
Ashlee, Lifting you and your husband up in prayer as you work together to over come this very big challenge. The enemy wants nothing more than to ruin your marriage but God is the God of reconcilliation and as you work through this with your hearts and eyes focused on Him God will bring healing to your marriage. Not only can he bring healing but will also use these painful times for good-I know that seems hard to believe but Gen 50:20 tells us that what the enemy meant for evil God will use for good-the saving of many lives. Praying for God to bless you and your husband and for him to remind you both of the love you have for each other.I praise God for the peace he has given you and pray that the light of Christ will shine bright in you and your marriage.
Thank you so much for your prayers, Nancy! I truly appreciate them. Praying that God will bless you today!
Thank you for your sweet prayer!
I need prayer for wisdom. My 22 yo daughter is bipolar and has been living with delusions for about a month. Meds have been adjusted but she hasn’t consistently taken them.
She has a 3 yo that I took custody of about 6 months ago.
They both live with me and at this point I can see her behavior affecting him. We never know if she’ll be home or if she is home whether she’ll be up or down.
I have told her that she cannot continue living here unless she takes meds every day.
She has no safe place to go and no job. People keep telling me to kick her out but I just can’t as mentally unstable as she is.
I just need wisdom.
Vicki, Lifting you, your daughter, her son and her medical care team up in prayer. I thank God that you have custody of her precious child. I pray for God to give you wisdom and clarity as to how to handle your daughter. I pray for your safety as mental illness is so unpredictable, I thank God for the privilege to pray for you. Let the light of Christ shine brightly in your home and may your grandson know he is loved and in you he has stability in his life.
I need prayer for a similar situation. My daughter is going through some difficult times. She takes meds I think. She is also an alcoholic. I’m afraid for her. She has a job. She function when she isn’t drinking. Pray for her to turn to God. I’ve been trying to encourage her. She knows there is a God. It to hurts to talk about it . I’m praying for others in this situation. We have many sleepless nights. Thank you ladies for being here.
Prayer sent for you and your loved ones. May God guide you providing wisdom to all.
Thank you for the supportive words. I am strugglimg with a 24 year old son who has experienced multiple traumas at the hands of others. He indirectly associates me with them, states he doesn’t blame me and loves me, but has received “counsel” from professionals who recommend that he have no contact with me whatsoever. I believe that there are many layers to his current state, with the possibility of Multiple Personality Disorder and the power and influence of evil. I am beginning my work with a Christian counselor to help guide me to hear and follow God’s way in this matter. I am heartbroken that I cannot help my son, and am grieving. I have turned him over to God in prayer, but this is difficult. Thank you all for prayers. I am grateful for your insight.
Pamela I see you and hear you. My heart hurts with you for your son and your relationship with him. Lord we know that you are sovereign over all, that you open hearts and close them. I pray that you open the mind, eyes, and heart of Pamela’s son–that he can recognize the truth and that you bring clarity into his life. Shower Pamela with peace and comfort. May her perseverance in you bring her wisdom and blessings beyond her wildest dreams. May her love for you and her selfless love for her son speak to him of your greatness and trustworthiness. May the relationship between Pamela and her son be restored by your glory. In Jesus’ name, amen.
I am so sorry for you to be going thru this pain and suffering. I feel and know your pain all too well… my only child, a daughter, will be 38 next week, and blames me for everything that ever happened to her, has received similar counsel as your son has, and has kept my 3 grandchildren away from my side of our family too many years.
I’ll pray for you to hear our heavenly Father, as he comforts us in our human trials. The pain and agony being thrust upon us by our own flesh and blood, is nothing as compared to what we have done to Him.
May you have His strength, as you go thru life as His daughter. May you hear Him in all things, and see Him in every corner. He loves you more than we can ever imagine, and wants to help you. He sends angels to tend to our wounds, and strengthen us in Him. May you rest in His arms, have inner peace because of Him, and yield to the Holy Spirit.
In Jesus’ nsme, Amen.
If you’d be interested in connecting with me on Facebook, please do… we can make it thru this time together, all in His strength.
Much love to you,
Vicki Offenberger
This is what I needed to read at this moment and time. Please pray for my family. My husband’s business is going under and he seems lost as to what to do next. The bills are beginning to pile up and I am feeling overwhelmed as to what to do and how to help him. I am praying for God’s direction. Please pray for a job for my husband, wisdom and guidance for us as we take each next step, and discernment for me that I do, say, and pray what is God’s will.