“I know you’re busy,” she said, “but I’d love to meet with you sometime.
I hate that I paused, but I started going through my calendar in my head. I don’t know what signal that pause gave her, but we left the conversation with a promise to try to get together soon.
Weeks passed. We didn’t get together.
Then one day, I had to admit something I really didn’t want to confess:
I place more value on my busyness than I do people.
Though my life is full, that’s true for almost all of you joining me in this conversation today. Our circumstances or season may be different, but most of us are pulled as we balance family, work, ministry, and so much more.
But that doesn’t mean we are unavailable. It also doesn’t mean that we don’t need community and connection.
Don’t we need to be honest?
Maybe you are like me. You love connection and community, but making time for those things can feel hard. We need to be honest that we are pulled in a lot of different directions, but also honest with ourselves that friendship is not “extra.” It’s needed.
Goodness, I feel vulnerable sharing this. . .
When God is kind enough to shine a light on an area of growth in any of us, we have two responses. We can push it aside and keep going, or step into what he’s trying to give us.
I texted my friend that day.
Hey, want to meet this week? No pressure. I’d just love to hang out.
Her response was almost immediate. Yes!
Later that week we met for green smoothies and tea at a local coffee shop. It was delightful. She thanked me for meeting her, but I confessed that I needed it too — more than I realized.
Busyness is only one roadblock to building community
In today’s More Than Small Talk podcast (https://www.klrc.com/podcasts/more-than-small-talk), Holley, Jennifer, and I get pretty honest about the things that keep us from building community — as well as our need for it.
I share more in depth how busyness was my real and worst excuse. Holley and Jennifer confess what gets in the way of community for them (and their answers are different than mine). I hope you’ll slip over and join this much-needed conversation.
[ctt template=”11″ link=”5o78L” via=”yes” ]The excuse “I’m busy” is probably true, but it also may be your biggest roadblock to building community. #livingfreetogether #morethansmalltalk [/ctt]
Are you too busy?
Chances are that’s you are, and that’s an honest answer. But chances are also great that you need to fill up as well. We all need that balance. That’s going to look different for each of us, but here are three things to consider as you begin:
- You are worth it
- You can’t say yes to everyone, but neither should it be an automatic no
- Give community as much importance on the calendar as the other items listed
Confront that excuse. Make that phone call. Send that text. Ask a friend over, even if your house is messy and there’s laundry on the couch. Just do it and fill up that part of you that longs for connection with a faith-filled friend.
Check out today’s More Than Small Talk podcast: Building Community
While you’re there, subscribe! There’s a new podcast every single Thursday with Suzie, Holley Gerth, and Jennifer Watson.
This podcast is a part of the KLRC Podcast Network. #KLRCPodcastNetwork
The Woman I Am Becoming: Embracing the Chase for Identity, Faith, and Destiny by Suzanne EllerThough this book was initially written for 20-somethings, I am amazed at how many women in their 30’s, 40’s, and 50’s share they are facing many of the same issues and found this to be a powerful resource.
I know God created us for a community, but this is a huge growth spot for me. I also know the enemy loves to get us alone. I’m an introvert. I can be an extroverted introvert when necessary (i.e. serving others) but I prefer the quiet and being by myself. Making time to be with people is not a strength of mine and I’m not sure how to break out of that. I’m sure God knows though. 🙂❤️
Me too,Kristen, me too. I am an introvert that loves where I live out in the country. I can people while serving but have a hard time in one on one occasions. I have started to reach out,slowly, by asking God to show me one oerson where I volunteer to start to grow a friendship. Now we occassionally meet outside of the ministry where we serve.
The struggle is real for me too!
I will pray that God puts one person in your path with whch you can have community and friendship. Trusting HE will provide! Have a blessed day, Kristen!
I don’t know how to contact you but I have a seizure question about dogs, please??
This speaks loud and clear to me! We truly do need community and that takes time. I’m learning to say yes to people and slow down enough to make time for connection.
Lisa, I am with you and needing and saying yes to friend-connections. It is a struggle for me, but once I step out and visit with friends, refreshment pours in. Michele