Sometimes I don’t want to give a gentle answer. I want to say what is on my mind. I want to shout that I’m frustrated, or explain how I feel until they get it. I know there’s a healthy way to do this but it’s not always my first reaction.

That happened just the other day. I went to an event and then got in my car and called my sweet guy.

He had no idea what was coming.

I told him how frustrated I was. I explained in detail why this person had got under my skin. He allowed me to share those thoughts and to be genuinely angry. He knew I wasn’t mad at him, but felt protective over someone else. Words had landed in a the heart of a friend that felt hurtful and unjust.

Even as I shared those words with Richard, I knew that if I had spilled words in the moment, they wouldn’t have helped.

Angry words in the heat of the moment rarely take you where you want to go.

I realize that many who are reading this today might not have a husband or loved one who allows them to vent. It’s not something I do often. In fact it’s rare, but we all need a safe place to say, “That’s incredibly frustrating, or “I’m so mad I don’t even know what to do.”

The good news is we all have that living right inside of us. I don’t say that lightly. I don’t say that as a spiritual bandaid. Even though I shared what I needed to share with my sweet guy, God is the one who saw this situation from top to bottom. He’s the one who promises to show us what to do, what to say, what not to say. He’s the one I ultimately needed to share this with. . .

In today’s More Than Small Talk podcast, Holley, Jennifer, and I answered this confession question:

Do you have trouble controlling your mouth?

It was a question sent in by a listener and we all groaned when we received it — for the answer to that question is yes, this gets to all of us at some time or another.

In today’s podcast, we take this topic deep. I shared that I have learned one thing.

My first reaction doesn’t have to be my first response.

I can slow it down. I can pause and ask God to meet me in the middle of that emotion. I can ask him to help me to see the bigger picture. I can talk about it with a safe person who will listen, but also lead me closer to God in the process.

And I can always, always, let God see my wounded or angry heart and he will never turn me away.

I am not responsible for anyone else’s words or how they react, but I am responsible for my own.

If we were to all answer today’s confession question: Do you have trouble controlling your mouth? — there’s a good chance our answers would be all over the place. Some days. In some situations. I’m working on it. God’s doing miracles in this area.

Regardless of your answer, just know this, sweet friend. You aren’t alone in the struggle. When we stop to ask if those words should be shared or not, the Holy Spirit will show us what to do.



Listen to More Than Small Talk podcast on your favorite podcast app or livestream it at

Resources mentioned in today’s episode are:

Love a refugee in His name

Hey friends, did you know we are in the midst of a COMPASSION project? We are raising funds for refugee families relocated to the U.S. for much-needed dental care. One of the greatest needs after living for years in refugee camps is dental care and a source of pain for many. To find out more, check out Living Free Together’s Bright Smiles, Bright Future COMPASSION project.

Thank you for checking that out on this beautiful Day of Giving. <3