Her note was sincere. 

Dear Suzie,

I don’t think you understand fully. What if you are the one who was hurt? What about the person who created the conflict in the first place?

Don’t they have responsibility in this too?

An injured party

This came after a blog post about forgiveness. What my anonymous friend was saying mattered.

I get where she’s going from, so this is what I shared with her.

Dear friend,

I don’t know your situation, but the one thing I know for certain is that the only person we can fix is ourselves. That’s as much power as we have.

What happened to you matters. It matters to God, which is why forgiveness is such a powerful gift. In the long run, forgiveness is one of the most powerful, influential moves we can make.

It releases us from spending energy trying to fix what is beyond us.

It allows us to put that same energy toward who we love — and what we want to pursue, instead of being bound to someone else’s words or actions. 

What if we waited to forgive until they said they are sorry — and it never happened? 

Who does that hurt? 

[ctt template=”5″ link=”Bn1R6″ via=”yes” ]What if you waited to forgive until they said they’re sorry. What if they never do? Who does that hurt the most? #livingfreetogether[/ctt]

Sometimes forgiveness leads to a beautiful reconciliation or change in the heart of another person, but it certainly leads to greater peace for ourselves, if for no one else.

I’ve walked this, sweet friend. I discovered that God had incredible gifts waiting for me when I starting climbing up that harder path of faith called forgiveness. It didn’t happen overnight. It started with surrender. My prayers were simple and often sounded just like this:

Lord, this is bigger than me so I need your help. 

I’m cheering on your brave questions, friend. I’m cheering on every step you take toward forgiveness and the freedom it offers you.



In last week’s More Than Small Talk podcast, I shared a story about someone who hurt my heart and where God led in that messy ministry moment.

I hope you’ll listen. It’s Episode #21 – “My Messy, Beautiful Purpose.”

You don’t have iTunes? Here’s all the ways you can listen today!

Let’s take this deeper. . .

Q: What is one barrier to forgiving?

Q: Why do you think Jesus placed so much emphasis on it?