Her note was sincere.
Dear Suzie,
I don’t think you understand fully. What if you are the one who was hurt? What about the person who created the conflict in the first place?
Don’t they have responsibility in this too?
An injured party
This came after a blog post about forgiveness. What my anonymous friend was saying mattered.
I get where she’s going from, so this is what I shared with her.
Dear friend,
I don’t know your situation, but the one thing I know for certain is that the only person we can fix is ourselves. That’s as much power as we have.
What happened to you matters. It matters to God, which is why forgiveness is such a powerful gift. In the long run, forgiveness is one of the most powerful, influential moves we can make.
It releases us from spending energy trying to fix what is beyond us.
It allows us to put that same energy toward who we love — and what we want to pursue, instead of being bound to someone else’s words or actions.
What if we waited to forgive until they said they are sorry — and it never happened?
Who does that hurt?
[ctt template=”5″ link=”Bn1R6″ via=”yes” ]What if you waited to forgive until they said they’re sorry. What if they never do? Who does that hurt the most? #livingfreetogether[/ctt]
Sometimes forgiveness leads to a beautiful reconciliation or change in the heart of another person, but it certainly leads to greater peace for ourselves, if for no one else.
I’ve walked this, sweet friend. I discovered that God had incredible gifts waiting for me when I starting climbing up that harder path of faith called forgiveness. It didn’t happen overnight. It started with surrender. My prayers were simple and often sounded just like this:
Lord, this is bigger than me so I need your help.
I’m cheering on your brave questions, friend. I’m cheering on every step you take toward forgiveness and the freedom it offers you.
Suzie
Resources
In last week’s More Than Small Talk podcast, I shared a story about someone who hurt my heart and where God led in that messy ministry moment.
I hope you’ll listen. It’s Episode #21 – “My Messy, Beautiful Purpose.”
You don’t have iTunes? Here’s all the ways you can listen today!
Let’s take this deeper. . .
Q: What is one barrier to forgiving?
Q: Why do you think Jesus placed so much emphasis on it?
One friend asked this question just this morning — “Doesn’t this take prayer?”
Sure. It takes prayer. It takes time. It’s a walk with God in a harder path of faith. Yet it’s also freeing. Sometimes forgiveness feels like we are letting someone off the hook for what they did — which is what Jesus did for us, when we think about it — but it’s believing that we were intended to live a life unbound, unleashed, and totally free inside.
My barrier to forgiveness seems to be the fact that this person keeps escaping accountability and I am continuing to have to endure abuse. I have never been given the space to heal, even seeing counselors has not helped. The only peace I do get is from spending time with God. But I so desire to live free from this. I know and understand why Jesus placed so much emphasis on this…it’s because when we choose to go the route of forgiveness I do believe it’s when He can and does His greatest work. In this place we are the most vulnerable with Him and our dependence is sweet.
Lord, you never asked us to remain in abuse. I pray for Sabrina that you will show her the next step. Protect her heart. Cover her with your abundant love and wisdom. Thank you for her courage and her desire to live free. Meet her in the heart of that desire and unleash freedom within her. In Jesus’ name.
When my marriage ended with an affair it took me a long time to forgive people who played a part in it. And while I was walking through the process, I attended bible studies specifically on forgiveness and I remember our teacher asking why does God ask us to forgive. And I believe it is for our own good. So our hearts don’t get hardened and ugly. Its not easy. Its an every day surrender to God. Face down at the foot of the cross asking for His help. God commands me to forgive and I will answer to Him, no one else.
Thank you for this beautiful reminder Suzie! God has done a beautiful work in my life where I divorced my husband the love of my youth I met at 17. He committed adultery through our years of being married always choosing other woman. But God because is so amazing, Faithful and good!!!!!! For years I had to forgive him over and over so that my heart did not become hardened and I raised our kids alone by the grace of Abba! Long story short after years of praying for him God restored him and after twenty years of being on my own never dating or going out with other men, keeping myself for Abba the Lord brought back the husband of my youth and we got married this Saturday 4 May!!!! Glory glory glory!!! It was not easy it was so painful but God taught me to forgive completely and forget and to glorify Him in all of this, because when we obey THE BLESSING IS OUT OF THIS WORLD!!! Glory glory glory to our Faithful Abba Father for giving us Jesus and The Holy Spirit!!!
Lots of love ❤️
Amanda
It is so difficult to forgive yet wanting to be free and at peace is the cost of not forgiving. I have many that I still need to forgive stemming back to childhood. Acts that have changed who I could have been, but God was always my guide. As a faithful woman I looked to Him for love. However, people took advantage of my kind heart and have gravely abused my core. So forgiveness just feels like being hurt all over again. With much prayer and therapy at 51 I am on my path of finally forgiving and setting myself free. Although challenging at times with the anger and hurt that gets in the way I love God more to obey Him. Thank you for this I did need a loving reminder about forgiveness and why.
You are so brave! Cheering you on.