Is it hard for you to say no — and why or why not?
That was our confession question today on the More Than Small Talk podcast.
If you are a people pleaser, saying no is your kryptonite. It may make you feel like you are letting someone down, down, down. So you say yes, even when it’s not the best choice and resentment creeps in.
If you aren’t a people pleaser, saying no can still feel hard. You might feel obliged to give a long list of excuses. Maybe they push back and that just feels awkward, or eventually wears you down. So you say yes, even when it’s the best choice and resentment creeps in.
Saying no isn’t a bad word. It doesn’t make you a bad person. In a world where there are a thousand things pulling at you, saying no allows you to say yes to those things that are your assignment.
In the podcast Holley, Jennifer, and I shared all the reasons it’s sometimes wise to say no. Not just for us, but for others involved. But we also explored why it’s so stinking hard.
I hope you’ll listen to the discussion. I want to hear what you’ve learned about saying no.
What I learned is that:
- If saying no makes me feel resentful, I may want to take a deeper look at why.
- There are gentle ways to say no, and still be firm.
- Saying no doesn’t make me a bad person.
- My “no” may open the door for someone else’s yes.
- Saying no allows me to step fully into my assignment(s).
How do you respond when the answer is supposed to be no?
Are you sucked into an unhealthy dance of pressure/power/persistence?
What is one step you can take today to break that pattern?I
For me, it was simply saying no. That sounds easy, right? It wasn’t, but the more I did it the more it felt natural. Will you join me in a simple challenge?
For the next 24 hours, give a clear no if it’s not your assignment.
If it is your assignment, by all means say yes! Give it your all.
As we learn to give a gentle, but firm, “no” to some things, we are free to run after the yes meant for us.
Do you ever wish you had a like-minded community? There’s nothing that beats a face-to-face community, but it’s also beneficial to boost that with others who share a passion. I want to share two options with you.
The first is my Living Free Together Facebook ministry page. This community offers daily “live free” encouragement, occasional studies, and nightly prayer starters. It’s a larger group but a beautiful way to get a dose of “living free” every single day. Come join in!
The second is the More Than Small Talk Facebook group! If you already listen to the podcast, join Holley Gerth, Jennifer Watson, and me five days a week for fun conversation, giveaways, and a weekly confession question. I can’t wait to see you there!