Build a community, they say.

Build each other up, they say.

Let’s be honest. When you’ve been hurt in a community or friendship, the last thing you want is to try again.  

But what if healthy community is exactly what your heart needs? 

Your answer to prayer for encouragement, wisdom, for a new way of looking at life could be waiting in the form of a new friend, a group, a church, a Bible study, or a neighbor. 

Where to begin

Choosing healthy community means that we don’t wait for the perfect person or church to come along. 

No one is perfect. Not that potential friend or church. Not us. So we give it a chance. We refuse to make our new friends pay a price for the last person’s mistakes. 

Choosing healthy community means we don’t put a lot of pressure on the new relationships. 

We aren’t expecting that relationship or church to meet our every need. We know that only God is our need-meeter. 

[ctt template=”11″ link=”8svDF” via=”no” ]People may have hurt you, but healthy community may be exactly what your heart needs. #livingfreetogether[/ctt]

Choosing healthy community means we reach out with intention. 

Six years ago we moved from our community to a new state. I remember standing in a new church, not knowing anyone. It was such a strange feeling, for we had come from a church community that felt like family. I could wait for someone to reach out to me, or be intentional.

I reached out to a handful of people. Holley Gerth was one of them. This became a relationship that is still strong today! Some of those intentional moves resulted in new friends and new community. Others didn’t and that’s okay. As a natural introvert, this wasn’t always easy but I’m so glad I took the risk. 

As you begin this brave new journey, consider these questions:

Q: What is one way you can reach out to begin a new friendship this week?

Q: What is an unrealistic expectation for any friendship or community?

Q: What do you bring to this connection?

Remember, friend. People may have hurt you, but healthy community may be exactly what your heart needs. 



In today’s More Than Small Talk podcast (Episode #31), Holley, Jennifer, and I share a time when someone defended our worth. We also talk about what to do when it’s been impacted by hurtful people.

Or listen on your favorite podcast app.