- Ask her what she needs
- If she can’t articulate it, ask someone who is close to her
- Bring food in dishes that can be discarded
- Take care of an obvious need (mow the lawn, put gas in her car, do laundry)
- Take a bullet for her (if there is someone insensitive, invite that person to chat or take a walk to distract them)
- Love her children (offer to take them to a movie or bring them a small gift or thoughtful card)
- Pamper her in some small way
- Volunteer to make phone calls, write thank you notes, or run errands
- Send a card a month after the crisis to let her know you are still praying
- Be present — you don’t have to have the right words
In today’s More Than Small Talk podcast Jennifer, Holley, and I answer this confession question:
Describe a time someone showed up for you in a time of change.
I shared how friends and family showed up when my son was hit by a drunk driver. He was in the hospital for weeks and in recovery for over a year. Even now 20+ years later, I vividly remember the impact of kindness during that hard season.
Listen to today’s episode of More Than Small Talk #podcast (Episode 36, Just Be There) on iTunes, KLRC, Spotify, or your favorite podcast app.
I’d love to hear your story of how someone showed up for you in a season of change or crisis. If you are in a hard place, I have an amazing team of women ready to pray with and for you. (I’ll be praying for you, too.)
Suzie
A Helpful Resource
Sometimes we just need to know where to turn when our hearts feel broken. The Mended Heart: God’s Healing for Your Broken Places is a gentle resource for those struggling with a hurting heart.
I’m struggling. I’m hurt. I’m angry. I don’t understand God. My divorce has floored me, and everything else. I praying for God to send someone with the words to help me. Everyone just says I’m sorry and that it will get better. I am miserable. Please pray for me.
Father, I pray for Chanda today. There are no words that will comfort, but your presence can. I pray she senses how deep, how wide, how vast is your love for her. I pray for rest for her body, soul, and mind. Thank you for her bravery and courage and her longing for wholeness. She is your daughter. She is loved. She is seen. Be with her today and tomorrow and all her days, amen.
Awe sweet beloved Chanda praying for you today and for you to feel better. I wish I was there to just sit with you. I pray that what ever brings you comfort, a cup of tea, a good book, a verse in the Bible you can recharge. Blessings Diana Rockwell LFT Care team
Chanda,
I’m just a subscriber like you, not part of the Small Talk group. I am also a divorcée. I know how you feel. When people say “I’m sorry and ‘it’ will get better” – I know it doesn’t help. I don’t know the particulars of your situation but I know mine was unique in multiple ways and like you I was overwhelmed with surges of strong painful emotions. Sadness, anger, hurt, fear and desperation. Even now, seven years later if I sit and think on those days I can remember the pain.
All I can tell you is that ‘it’ (meaning your emotions and the circumstances) will get better, but it takes time. It took me two years of grieving before I felt like moving on with a new life. But that’s okay. It’s healthy to grieve. So cry all you want to. Express your feelings in whatever way you need whether it’s writing or talking. One thing I used to do was take morning walks and talk aloud to God. In my lowest times I’d go in my closet on knees and pour out my pain to Him in tears. He heard me. He delivered me. He gave me new blessings that made my new life even better than the one that I had and lost. But He lets us suffer for a reason. He doesn’t magically make all the pain go away. All I can tell you is that He wants us to grow through it all. You can actually come out on the other side a better person. You can learn to love your enemies and pray for them even though they caused you great pain and/or losses. You can learn to empathize with others who are hurting and pray for them. You can learn to forgive others. And you will need to when the time is right so that you won’t be carrying that heavy burden of bitterness, hate or resentment. When I was suffering I used to think about Job. He lost it all. But God restored his life and he will yours as well. He is faithful and He wants you to be faithful as well. When you are feeling like you can’t put one foot in front of the other, let me encourage you to just cry out to God in prayer. Tell Him all about your pain. He knows already, but there’s something healing about telling Him about it. You need to do that for YOU. I will pray for you as well as I’m sure others who are reading your comment will. You will get through this. Just take one day at a time and look to Jesus for an advocate. He understands.
Best wishes-Lisa
Lisa thank you so much for your words. I needed to hear those. Thank you for sharing your story with me.
I pray for you that someone comes to you with encouragement, but also with helpful actions. It’s understandable that you don’t understand God. Your struggle, hurt and anger you mentioned is real. Your feelings and thoughts are valid. You are valuable. I pray peace that surpasses understanding. He is for you. God will not leave you. Please keep being brave through this difficult time.
❤️❤️❤️