In today’s More Than Small Talk podcast, we discuss how hard it is to disagree with someone we like. Yet there are times the person we are disagreeing with is. . . ourselves. This is an old entry from one of my prayer journals. This is what I wrote on a day when I was full-fledged wearing my cranky pants and didn’t know what to do about it. Maybe you’ll identify with how I felt that day. ~ Suzie
I’m sitting on the bed and it’s late, and I am cranky. Or sad. Maybe both. And it’s my issue. No one has really done anything wrong. Maybe it is the three intense ministry days in a row. Maybe it’s because my computer crashed and I lost all my work. Maybe it’s because I need a nap.
Or I could just having one of “those days”.
Whatever it is, I don’t like it when I feel this way. I’m tense. I’m edgy. My people — those who love me best — are aware that I’m cranky, which means they are giving me room. I never want them to feel like they have to walk on eggshells around me.
So, here I am, God. Letting you know that I’m full-fledged wearing my cranky pants.
But this is what I know about you. I believe you hold your arms open wide, inviting me to share the struggle, loving me even as I hang my head. There’s something powerful about sharing it with you. You are a safe place for me to talk about how I feel. You make room for the words that might be misinterpreted if I shared them while I feel this way with another human.
You show me that I am loved, but you are not afraid to reveal the root of those emotions. You remind me of the beauty of those humans in the other room, and give me courage to tell them I’m sorry and to start fresh.
You know me — every part of who I am. You know my intent. You know my desire to be a good mama, and an encouragement to the man I love. You know that I am joyful at heart, but I am also human and sometimes I run into the end of myself, which is exactly what happened today.
Thank you that it’s okay to admit that some days are better than others. Thank you for an ear to listen. Thank you that these cranky pants are temporary. Thank you for a safe place to share how I feel.
I’m doing better already. I’m grateful for that.
If today you are wearing your cranky pants, just know you are loved right where you are. Go to him. Write those words in your own journal and don’t hold back. He sees who you are at the core of your being, and isn’t judging you.
You are seen. You are loved.
Tomorrow will be a better day.
To listen to More Than Small Talk podcast, go to your favorite podcast app or listen at KLRC.com.
Today’s episode is #68 – Coming Together When You Disagree.
(More Than Small Talk is a podcast with the KLRC podcast network.)