I’m a half-cup full girl. I almost always (like every single time) reach for the silver lining. There’s so much good in that, but the downside to eternal optimism is that sometimes a person just needs space to say she’s sad. She needs to work through those feelings, find the source, ask for help, or simply have a safe place to express them.
This was brought to my attention a few years back. Someone close to me said, “I don’t feel like I can be sad around you.”
And that nearly broke my heart.
So I listened, and what she was saying was she felt that she was not strong when she didn’t immediately try to find the good in really hard situations — and silver-lining statements or well-intentioned silver-lining words fell flat.
Reaching for a silver lining is a good move,
but it doesn’t have to be the first move.
It’s taken time, but I’m growing in this area. Even saying that feels a little silly.
Excuse me. I’m trying not to reach for the silver lining. Give me a minute.
What I’ve learned is there’s beauty in sitting with someone in their sorrow. There’s beauty in watching them process that sadness with the help of the Holy Spirit (instead of me). There’s beauty in watching that silver lining come at the appropriate time.
And not just for them, but for me too.
So today I want to share something with you. This Covid-19 virus has made me sad in a lot of ways. I know there are silver linings for many of us and I can write those for days, but I miss seeing my parents. I miss hugging my grandkids. I miss going to church with friends, and face-to-face conversations. I struggle with so many sick, and so many impacted by loss of all kinds.
As I sit with the Lord and I share those things, I’m telling God that I trust him with my sadness. That our relationship is close enough that I don’t have to pretend with him.
What things are you missing?
What feelings have you been pushing down, afraid that somehow expressing those makes you less than strong?
Maybe instead of reaching for a silver lining, you just reach for him instead — and the silver lining will come at the appropriate time.
Listen to today’s Episode #73 of More Than Small Talk on your favorite podcast app or at KLRC.com – Conversations from Home with Holley, Suzie, and Jennifer. In this episode we take a look at storms and the invitation we find in them.
Also, if you want to join us in the MTST FB group, we are giving away a copy of my book, Come With Me, to one 4th chair friend, as well as a downloadable CWM prayer book to everyone in the group.
- Read Chapter One of Come With Me (free) and some fun freebies and videos just for you.
I’m missing the feeling of being whole. Even in my own home I am now leaving to homeschool some children then go to my other job. I’ve moved my “office” so my husband can use it to work from home. I miss knowing I can see my daughter who lives 1 1/2 hours away and I miss the (almost) sureness that my other daughter will be safe working as an ER. E were created for relationships and I miss that most of all. In all of this, my hope can ONLY be in the Lord who knew the beginning and knows the end. I stay humbly in his loving arms.
If I could just echo literally everything you just said.
I see so many good things coming from this pandemic. Chris & I are closer, my flower beds are coming along beautifully, my house is REALLY clean, we’re saving money by not eating out so much & the list goes on.
But, I too miss my kids & grandkids & face to face conversations with friends & family. I am concerned for a couple of my kids who were furloughed., but at the same time so proud of their creative (& hard working) ways to provide for their family (chickens, gardening, etc) as well as their faith in God’s provision.
All I know is, GOD IS FAITHFUL & I trust Him with all these feelings & to see us through this challenging time.
I am praying for you & love you!
YES! I am also a “half-full…and more is coming” person. I caught up with a girlfriend to find out she is struggling, and when I asked her why she hadn’t reached out to me, she said, “I needed a pity-party with my feelings, and I know I can’t invite you to those until I’m ready to move forward.” I didn’t know if it was a compliment or a poke, so I took it as a “notification,” kind of like a check engine light.
Thank you for sharing this. I am working on “sitting” better with people, too. And, the no-hugging thing right now makes me feel like I could just jump out of my skin! I miss it.
Praying for you and the ones who are missing you, too.
I love that she trusted you enough to be honest with you. That says so much about your relationship. We can always grow — even the eternal optimists — in this area. <3 Thanks for sharing about your “check engine” light moment. That makes so much sense.
Even my ebullient spirit has taken a lonely hit. Lack of work and lack of social interaction chafe. The laments in Psalms are a balm as I sit with them and feel their angst but they teach me —because I know this time will end and I can turn to an nearby chapter and find the steadfast love of the Lord to anchor me.
Reaching for a huge hug.
Thank you Suzie for this!
I miss going to church mostly. I know God is working out something.
Oh, how this devotion resonates with me – I was posting on a friend’s facebook page the other day that my emotions and feelings are running high and low all the time – pity parties for me when I cry because I can’t reach out and hug someone, or play with my grandchildren, and when I do scold my husband to not pick up our youngest grandson when we visited them on Easter – my stepson got mad at me! That was really upsetting! I want to scream and cry and yell!!! Listening to praise music most of the day sure helps, and I am working 1/2 days right now – that keeps my sanity in check! I am praying for all this to be GONE – IN JESUS NAME!!!