We went to the doctor’s appointment carefree. The stats weren’t too worrisome. There was a 75% chance that we’d waltz in and waltz out and get on with our life.
Afterwards Richard and I stood in the parking lot, our arms wrapped around each other.
Stunned.
Again? Really?
When I had cancer years ago it stopped our life as we dealt with surgeries and chemotherapy and radiation and bills. Lots and lots of medical bills. Then there was the fear tangled in faith so deep that it kept us from falling off the edge.
I have scars on my body that only Richard sees that speak of that battle, but the real war was fought somewhere between my heart and my head. It was hard but it drew us close to each other and to our God.
May I please be honest with you? When we heard that we were facing cancer as a couple again, my first reaction was shock but my second a sadness so deep that it wouldn’t leave no matter how many words I prayed.
You see. This is my guy.
The man I have loved for 35 years. He’s my heart. He makes me laugh until I cry (or run to the bathroom squeezing my legs while laughing so hard I’m not sure I’m going to make it). He is the father of my children. The man who lays on the floor while sweet grand babies crawl over him in delight.
It was easier when it was me somehow.
I know the truth. I love my Savior and how big He is. I’ve walked this rugged path before and know how close my God will be in every step.
But it’s okay to say that it’s hard.
There’s sacred space for grief, one in which you don’t have to be stronger than you feel. A place where you can rest in the strength that comes from a God that is big enough to bear that burden with you.
In the past two months we’ve been in that sacred space. I’ve been soaking in the verse that God placed on my heart in Jeremiah 17:7-8:
“Blessed is the [wo]man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord.
[S]He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream,
and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green,
and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.”
and never fails to bear fruit.”
Isn’t this beautiful? I don’t know what is ahead. I do know that there will be good days and hard days, but I also know where my strength will be found.
Thank you for allowing me to share this news with you. Maybe you don’t know what to say, and that’s okay. For now I just covet your prayers. I promise to hold those prayers close as I quietly dip my roots deep into a place of trust.
Suzie
If you came over from Encouragement for Today, I’m so happy you dropped by. (I hope it’s not the last time.)
Today I’m offering one copy of my newest book, The Mended Heart: God’s Healing for Your Broken Places. Just leave a comment below to enter to win.
If you are struggling with hard news, please let me pray for you. I also have an amazing prayer team who will join me.
If you want to pray for my guy, I’d love that too. If you just want to say hello, I’ll treasure a new friendship. Just leave a comment and I’ll share the name of the winner at the end of the week.
The title of the book sounds like something I could use. So much brokenness but I know Jesus wants to be my Healer.
I am broken–shattered by a con man who listened and plotted so that he was able to steal my heart and then my financial security. My trust in any earthly man is splintered beyond repair but that’s okay because I don’t want to repair it. I don’t want any man to take the intimate secrets shared in a relationship and use them to hurt me and manipulate me. The only part of my heart that is still whole is the God-sized hole which I continue to fill with the Holy Spirit, prayer and God’s word.
Many prayers for you and your guy. I’m so sorry to read this. Life can be so hard. You give so much to so many, I hope many give to you and sustain you during this time. <3
It looks like I am not the only one up in the middle of the night looking for encouragement! Thank you for sharing your true heart with the world. I love how God brings the words we need to hear at the right moment. Our God does not slumber. Just found you from the incourage emails I receive, and was actually looking at getting your book. I think I will wait to see if I win!
Hi Suzie,
My prayers are with you and your husband. Thank you for sharing your story, I don’t think I found it on accident tonight, but instead, through the Holy Spirit. I’ve been in a hard place for awhile but the past few months have given a whole new meaning to the word hard. My 9 year old son is severely chronically ill and he hasn’t been stable since last Spring. I have the same systemic disease and while he suffers more than I do, it’s extremely difficult to wear all these mom “hats” at all, but especially when I’m sick myself. I am so many responsibilities, jobs and so many things to keep track of; I’m like a RN at home but without the liscense, and I am SO very tired. And my sweet teenage girl is struggling in her heart and relationship with The Lord because of it. Its been a blessing in disguise yet a difficult one if that makes any sense. Bbt while I see the blessings, my kids do, my husband does–it’s hard to not feel dry, barren, anxious, and afraid. While we don’t have cancer, we are facing yet another new diagnosis (he has like 12 diagnosis’s now) that was caused by a necessary treatment to his primary systemic disease. It made me think of a couple of my cancer friends, and those who I only know of who suffer with cancer, on a whole new level of compassion–the treatment you must have gives you new serious life-threatening problems, but without the treatment, there’s no life on this side of heaven unless The Lord divinely intervenes. It just makes me feel stuck and sad and well, afraid. I’m definitely pinning this verse everywhere I look and because I’m so visual, I need to draw something that reminds me of it. Thank you so much for sharing your story, for being honest, and for being vulnerable. It ministered to my heart in mighty ways. I’ll definitely be back, so please keep us posted on your husband’s progress and how we can pray specifically when (if) you’re ready for that. God bless you and your family. <3
P.S. I haven't written on my blog in a while but I keep a Facebook group page for my son if you'd like to see it. If not, it's fine, I just know many would like to see more and it isn't a secret group. I left my email, so if you'd like the link, feel free to email me for it. Thanks again!
I’m so sorry for your latest news and am praying for you and your husband. Your words are an encouragement to me as I’m going through an extremely ugly divorce after years of an extremely difficult marriage. Your book sounds like it would be so helpful to me. I desperately want to mend my brokenness. Thank you for your encouragement
I am encouraged by your strength during such a tumultuous time.
thank you for sharing your story. I found a very encouraging at a challenging time in my life.
Praying for you. This is a book that I would use then pass on to someone else who really needs it!
Thank you for sharing this and for the memory verse – can’t tell you how much that was needed today! Sending prayers your way.
Thank you for sharing. Almost 14 hrs ago we had that same news… It was a difficult time in our life but it changed us. God blessed us through it. We began to put things in perspective.. The little things didn’t bother Us so much. I needed to be reminded of that today. Praying for you and your husband! Rest in His love!
This is so heartbreaking but encouraging. We have spent the last 3 years in the hard place clinging for dear life. Being crushed and refined. The glory of it, the victory was Gods. My husband’s confession of Jesus as king and Son of God would be worth walking through millions of valleys and being crushed and refined. However, it can takes it toll on a woman. Even the strongest can stumble at the end of the valley in relief. It is hard being in the thick of it. People who mean well offer encouragement of “God works in mysterious ways” just pray about it, ” ‘I’m praying for you guys.” The well meaning encouragement washes over you empty and sometimes you just want to yell and vent. God always makes it worth the walk through the valley but there’s never a moment that it isn’t worth it In the end. My prayers are with you and may your well planted roots help you continue to produce fruit in the shadow of the valley and the crushing time.
I pray for Gods love and peace wrap around you both and your family as you go through this valley, knowing God is beside you all the way. Amen
Thank you for sharing this, I needed to hear this today. I’m going through similar troubles. I will be praying for you and your husband and family.
Prayers being said for you and your husband and family. Thank you for your words of encouragement.
Praying for you and your guy. You were created for such a time as this. No one wants to be in hard places, but this place where you find yourself has not surprised our Creator. In the hard lonely scary places you, go with assurance that He will answer you before you call to Him. While you are still talking about your needs, He will go ahead and answer your prayers! Isaiah 65:24
God blessings to you and your family!
Praying for you and your husband.
I’m so sorry. Praying for you and your family.
Prayers for you and your guy! Found your blog through proverbs 31 daily email devotional. So glad I did.
I found her blog that way too & am glad I did too!
Sleeplessness and a 16 week old puppy that need to go out at 3:30 am, led me to read my emails. I’m so glad I did. I have been in a hard place most of the year, changes in staff, feelings of inadequacy as things changed. The revelation that a new person in staff reminded me of hurts from my childhood that I had stuffed away was brought to the surface. But instead of running away and stuffing it, I’m dealing with it through studying God’s word and biblical Christian counseling. As a result of my having a hard time adjusting to these changes and being in an environment that reminds me daily, I was let go from my job. I realize that it is for my healing, and that it was impossible to heal where I was. I’m okay with that, but it still hurts deeply. I would love to read your book.
As hard as it may be, do your best to find the joy in your trials. God has this under control … And, in some miraculous way, some good will come of this hardship. God bless you and prayers for continued strength! Blessings, Tracy
This is the second time in a week that I’ve been reminded tha healing through Christ is the way to begin bearing fruit again. I wold love to read your book!
I’m familiar with that devastating news…Unfortunately ours didn’t have a happy ending, and now my 2nd marriage after 25 years didn’t have a happy ending either. Sometimes I think I never will have that happy ending with a man, but thank God I know I’ll have one with Jesus!!! Thank you for sharing your heart…prayers going up!!
Sweet Suzie! Again, you have spoken faithful words that bring comfort to me. I am so grateful that my mending heart has been tended by one as faithful and yet vulnerable as you. You and Richard continue to be in my prayers, and if there’s something this South Georgia girl can do for you, I am here! Hugs! One day, maybe in person rather than virtual!
I can relate to devestating news & trials that do not seem to end. Please pray for our marriage we need a miracle. I am tired. I’m tired of unanswered prayer & depression, I struggle with effects of childhood abuse, bad self esteem, ptsd & my marriage being ravaged by addiction. I have multiple sclerosis which relapsed 2 years ago with stroke like symtoms which led to me being hospitalized & in neuro rehab for over a month. It scares me & my husband that I am suffering a flare again currently & am the only one working. My husband is unemployed & disabled as well with chronic knee, back & diabetic pain but does not have disability yet. depression & chronic pain have eclipsed our lives even though we attend church & CR including; lack of intimacy, still not being healed from the effects of my husband’s addiction. & acting out. I know God can use even all this for good but cannot see how while I continue to be squashed by circumstance. I have seen your book & commented whenever there has been giveways & thought while I have never won how much I would love to read it & also have my husband read it. My heart is hurt & wounded & desperately needs to be mended.
I will be praying for you, Kristin, as well as for Suzie and her husband.
Sending prayers to you, your husband and your family as you work through this difficult time.
God bless you on your second journey. I have recently needed to watch my husband go through struggles, I can identify w/your comment it was much easier being the patient. I will add you and your family to my prayer list please add us to yours I am one of the many who was let go from work and am still job searching while hubby is struggling with depression. I do hope that you have a Merry Christmas!
I am in a difficult time right now. My husband and I are separated because of his unfaithfulness. I would love a copy of your book. Prayed for you and your husband today.
Praying for you and your family, I’m going through testing for myself for cancer. It’s not something that I want to do. I just have to wait on the LORD. I’m also struggling with a teen who suffers from depression. It is a up and down battle. I try to remember that the battle is the LORD’s.
I will pray for our faith so grounded in Him- our Father. Thank you for sharing details and openness. I pray God’s will.
I am so sorry that you are going through this–I will keep you and your husband in my prayers. Your words always have such a way to touch my heart. I am thankful for you and your ministry. May God hold you close during this as you trust in Him!
Oh my sister in the Lord, how heartbroken I was to read what y’all are facing. I choked back tears and although this is my first to meet you, it feels as if your grief is mine because we are one in Christ. I pray and will keep praying that God holds you together as a three corded strand, and keeps you both strong, nourished, and held tightly in His arms. It is only there that we can bear the winds that howl and rage. I would like prayer but after last night my own needs seem so trvial. I had bought some things for a needy family and went to give them to the mom and baby last night. She is on very few food stamps, and the child support she gets won’t even help one week of living. Her family home is being foreclosed and their future looks so dark. I told her I would help in whatever ways the Lord allows, and promised to be a friend to her. Would y’all pray for them, and keep praying? And pray that the Lord helps them through however and whomever to bring them hope out of this time? Thank you <3
Thank you for this encouragement today, God used you to give me these words! Praying for you & your husband.
I am in a hard place. Lots of things have been against me as a high school teacher. It has been a very tough semester. I have been drawn closer to God in a way I didn’t know before. I have learned the hard way that I must trust Him…not people. I am thankful for these hard times because of this. It is my first time to have a crisis without my mom who died recently. It’s made me miss my mom and realize I can trust wholly on God. HE BRINGS GRACE AND LOVE AND PEACE. I pray for you and your husband. May you have peace and closeness to the Father like never before. I am So Happy I found your blog and I want to read your book. Merry Christmas and blessings from above.
I am praying for you. We live in a broken world. We are here to make a differenve…not to be comfortable. Thank you for making a difference in my life with your story. Hugs.
Suzanne, Thanks for your words today. I needed to hear them. Stunned is one way to describe how you feel when you find out your husband has cancer. We were both in shock. After being treated for pneumonia since Feb and finding out the end of June it was lung cancer stage IV and it is not operable, or curable. They said treatable but not sure what out come it would bring. Trust was my word for 2014 and it has been a hard one and I have tried to change it to something else but God tells me to keep it. So we are walking through this Trusting that God is in charge. He is on oxygen now and is not able to go to work but trusting God in this journey. Prayers do make a difference.
I prayed Gods healing and His closeness to be w you. Thank you for sharing so that I may pray and see God in you. Encouraged my heart!
I would ask that you and your team will pray for a women of outstanding character she is dying and it is so very hard for her family. Pray that she can keep nourishment down and that God will give her grace, peace, and draw her and her family closer to Himself. I will pray also for your family . I am so sorry to hear this it is like a kick in the gut, but God is always there for us no matter what even if we sometimes don’t feel His presence. He collects all our tears in a bottle….our tears are not wasted or in vain.
Dear Lord,
I humbly come to you. Lord I thank you for never leaving or forsaking us. For hearing our prayers and answering them. For protecting us in the bad and good times. Lord I thank you for Suzanne’s emails and devotions everyday. Thank you for her transparency and encouragement. Lord I ask in Jesus name that you would heal her husband from this cancer. I pray for your provision and protection and that you would bind satan from them and their home. Thank you Lord for always being faithful and a place we can come to hide, cry, rejoice and draw close. Thank you for hearing our prayers and answering them. In Jesus name. Amen
Dad just died and I’m working through some anger towards him now after his death. Thanks for your words today
After reading your heartbreaking news followed by all the devastation others are dealing with I can only be grateful for my own trials & that our God us big enough, strong enough & faithful to the end in His love for each of us! My prayers go up for ALL of you. Thank you Suzie for your words of faith & trusting me with your heart through prayer. Praise & Blessings always!
Praying! <3
Words can not express how sorry I am for you & Richard! I keep you in my prayers, the Lord of all hope and healing be with you! He has Richard in His Loving Arms! Peace this holiday season as we celebrate the birth of our Savoir!
I am praying that God brings you comfort, peace and encouragement.
Have been down the same road with cancer, both having had lymphoma myself, and seeing others suffer with other forms of the disease. It’s so hard to just not know what lies ahead. I know you already know this but it helps to remind yourself to just take a day at a time, a step at a time, so not only will you not be overwhelmed, but to allow yourself to savor each day and appreciate the richness God offers amidst even the worries.
Praying! Thanks for sharing your story!
Suzie, Your words so touched my heart this morning! I put your name on my prayer list and will keep you and your beloved hubby in my prayers. Thank you for sharing your heart, your wisdom, and yes, even your pain. My printer is out of ink and I can’t afford more but I will write down your words to keep reminding myself that our God is there for us, guiding our lives with His love and His healing, no matter what. I would love a copy of your book, as I am too poor to even have a “book budget” but after reading the needs of others here on the comments section, I know there are many who need your book/wisdom/sharing more than I do. May our Lord bless and keep you and your husband; may He make His face to shine upon you both and give you peace….and strength.
I’ve definitely been drawn to your blog today; not by chance but by the Lord. He’s telling me that it’s alright to acknowledge how I feel when I’m down about something. To draw on His strength and dip my roots! I too had some bad, but not dreadful, health news and I know how incredibly blessed and lucky I am that my diagnosis is at a very early stage and should go away quietly. I will remember you and Richard in my prayers and I’ll certainly be a regular caller.
I’m praying that God will bring healing, peace, strength and joy to your husband and you as you walk through this with Him. I am in the middle of a thyroid problem. They’ve found some concerning cells in a nodule there, and it is possible my thyroid will need to be partially or completely removed in order to know if cancer cells are present. I would cherish your prayers for healing in this matter! May God be glorified through us!
I found you through Encouragement for Today… Today’s “How Do I Trust Again” was just what I needed. I am not going through cancer, but some heavy issues – again. I searched the internet yesterday for a book that might help me (along side God’s word of course), but didn’t really find anything. I think your book “The Mended Heart” might be just what I need.
Dear one,
I love how you are so REAL and God speaks through your difficult time with this heart-wrenching news. This will certainly weigh heavily on my heart and I will be praying for you. This is a Joyous time of the year as we celebrate the Most High and His amazing and miraculous birth, but it is also a time of reflection and sadness for many. I pray for all who are lonely and dealing with the first Christmas without a loved one. Whether by untimely death or divorce, or friendships broken. I have a dear friend who took her own life on Nov. 19, a childhood friend whom I loved dearly and whom I re-introduced to Jesus about 8 years ago. She knew the Lord and for this am grateful. I ask your prayers for her daughter and her husband who are left with a void this Christmas and confusion as to WHY she would do this. How can one feel life is so bad that we don’t want to be a part of it? Life, as I have learned through loss of life of another close friend a year ago to a massive heart attack at 51, and another death of a close friend in February, of cancer, that LIFE is a gift and is so precious and we should treasure every minute and give THANKS for each moment with those we love. I ask prayers for the loved ones of each of my friends whom we lost in the past year, and for peace and trust in Him. I love how you are so equipped with the Armor of God to face your battle with such trust and grace. I pray for this strength as I battle with depression over the difficulties of menopause and dealing with teenagers who are strong-willed but amazing kids. I love them both with all of my heart, and my husband and best friend who also struggles with being married to me. (crazy at times with mood swings, and a temper which I pray to be slower to anger daily), but he loves me anyway. I pray for all of the people who are lonely this Christmas season, either due to being alone, physically, or those lonely by their own feelings. THank you for your prayers. If I were drawn to receive your amazing book, I would love to send it to my friend who took her own life’s daughter. She is 25 and I’m praying she knows the Lord. She is a mom of a toddler and is struggling with understanding this tragedy. I will also keep you in my prayers, and your entire family. God is good.
Suzie, I’m so sorry to hear your news. My heart and prayers are with you and Richard. When you’ve been through pain, it is so tempting and easy to relive the past with the present. Fear sweeps in like a storm. May God grant you both the grace to live TODAY with Him and enjoy His sufficiency for today.
I was so moved….I am praying for you in the place where you are and for a healing for Richard. Amen.
Thank you for sharing your sad story, but also for sharing God’s promises. May God grant healing, peace, and strength to your family.
I would love a copy of your book-I believe it would help me be encouraged to believe and trust in the LORD when my faith is so low-Father I pray for my times of weakness when I allow fear to enter into my mind-I would like to lift you and your husband up in prayer: Father God we are your children and we give to give you Suzanne and her husband/father/grandfather Your wrap around healing-peace-love and comfort that only You can give Father, in your precious Son Jesus’ name!
I ask that you lift me up in your prayers as it has been a very hard year for me-I have been through so much emotionally and mentally-the enemy has tried to destroy my life and is still trying to invade the life of one of my children in a very horrid and deceitful way-my marriage ended in divorce and it was so devastating that it was hard to put my trust in anything or anybody-now satan the ultimate liar in now trying to destroy my daughters marriage as well-we both need encouragement and support-I receive the Encouragement for Today emails and I Praise GOD for all the messages that are sent just for me! May God bless you and your family and wishing you much peace-joy-happiness and healing this Christmas and all throughout the coming New Year!
Thank you so much for reminding us of that scripture. It paints such a beautiful picture of how we can flourish in our hard times (heat) as long as we cling to our faith in our Savior! Prayers go out to you and your husband as you face this hard time.
Prayers for you and your husband as you go through this rough journey. May there be things you learned in your own battle that you can use to get him through his. My struggle was not a medical diagnosis, but rather a very ugly divorce where I learned that I had no clue who the man was I was married to. Still I look at pictures and think where did he go? I know he was real and that our relationship was real….wasn’t it? I am now a single mother of 2 small children with a household income that was cut by more than half. It has been a struggle and I still though it’s been a little while now have those moments where I just have to cry out and ask “why??” I never saw my life turning out like this. I do know that God will take this situation and all these struggles and turn them into something beautiful. I have hope and faith that God is working on me through all of this. I’m thankful for growing deeper in my relationship with him through this. And I have loved following proverbs 31 ministries.
I was sad to hear that your husband has cancer, you will be in my prayers. This spoke to me and reminded me that God is there no matter what. I am 15 and not exactly questioning my faith in the sense of salvation, but asking theological questions; like what about this Shoel thing, and what about these rewards the bible says we will receive in heaven, are they based on what we do here; and the like. Please pray that God will show me the way. Thanks
Thank you for your willingness to share your difficult news with us. I will be praying for your husband and you and your family.
I sat down at the computer this morning only to check the weather for the day but somehow ended up on your devotion. Not really sure how that happened but I know it was a God-thing. I have struggled with my health all my life. I have an immune deficiency disorder and fibromyalgia. I get very depressed, often, because of my health. Your words and your heart this morning mean so much to me. I have always fought and struggled with my health and the resulting feelings, but hearing these words gives me peace and strength:
“But it’s okay to say that it’s hard.
There’s sacred space for grief, one in which you don’t have to be stronger than you feel. A place where you can rest in the strength that comes from a God that is big enough to bear that burden with you.”
I am on disability and trying to raise an extremely defiant 12 year old boy. It zaps all my energy just dealing with him. I have just enough money each month to cover the bills but he just doesn’t understand. As of right now, he will not be receiving any gifts this Christmas unless an angel appears bearing gifts. I would so love a copy of your book as I desperately try to help my son remember that Christmas is not about the gifts we receive, but the gifts we return. Christ is the greatest gift and we should honor that by using the gifts he gave us by showing the glory of the Lord.
Praying for you and your husband as I ask you to do the same for my son and I.
Good Morning Suzie, am saddened by the news of your husband’s cancer. Will be lifting you and him up in prayer. In reading the summary of your book(at the proverbs 31 store), I would love to have a copy and a chance to read it.
Blessing to you and your family this Christmas season.
Cindy
I would love a copy but most importantly I thank you for sharing your story and your thoughts. My mother is recovering from breast cancer as we speak and I know how hard this experience is for the family. However, we serve a wonderful Father, Healer and Protector. He is always in control. You and Yours are in my prayers…
Dear Suzie,
I’m sorry to hear about this situation. Yet, I’m so encouraged by your faith. Perhaps you don’t feel strong at the moment, but you do know from whom your strength comes. God is the Healer of all diseases. He healed you. He will heal Richard. And He will walk with both of you through the process.
Abba Father, I lift up Suzie and Richard to you. I ask that you give them peace. I ask that you give them wisdom in the coming days as all types of decisions will need to be made. Cover them with Your love. Make your presence so real to them every minute that they never have even one nanosecond of doubt or fear. Abba Father, You are the Great Physician and Your Word says You heal all diseases. We claim that healing for Richard. May it be done on earth as it is in heaven.
You both will be in my prayers,
Edwina Cowgill
Suzie, so sorry to hear this and will be praying for Richard, you, and your family. Please pray for a dear friend of mine who just found out right before Thanksgiving she has cancer. I can not imagine what you are going through! Trust in the Lord with all your heart!
Thots and prayers for you, your guy and your family…Thank you for your honesty, authenticity and vulnerablility in sharing a ‘reality’ so deep and intimate. As I read this, pondered and prayed for you. I identified with the shattering of ‘life and relationship’ as we know it. The hymn, ‘I know Who holds Tomorrow’ – began to rise in my soul. I haven’t thot of this Hymn for many years. It’s words resonated within. They reassured me of His Sovereignty and Great Love & Grace… once again. “….And the path that be my portion, May be through the flame or flood, But His presence goes before me…And I’m covered with His blood…Many things about tomorrow, I don’t seem, to understand. But I know, Who holds the future and I know, Who holds my hand…”
Loss is brutal and change is an enemy of the flesh…but ‘Hope springs Eternal’… and that is the Best The Lord Has Promised us…..’May The God of Hope, fill you with all Joy and Peace in believing, as you trust in Him. So that you may overflow, with Hope, by The Power of The Holy Spirit’… Continued thots, empathy and prayers Suzanne!
My heart goes out to you in prayer for all that is happening in your lives right now.
“The Lord bless you and keep you; The Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious
To you; The Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace.” Numbers 6:24-26
Thanks for sharing and prayers for you and your family’s continued strength through these difficult times. I am awaiting biopsy results so this was perfect (of course, God’s timing always is).
Merry Christmas and God Bless!
There’s sacred space for grief, one in which you don’t have to be stronger than you feel. A place where you can rest in the strength that comes from a God that is big enough to bear that burden with you.
In the past two months we’ve been in that sacred space. I’ve been soaking in the verse that God placed on my heart in Jeremiah 17:7-8:
I quoted your own words of encouragement that lifted me so much! Praying complete healing in the name of Jesus!! You are all so loved!
Good Morning Suzie Eller,
I am sorry to hear of your family’s pain. Thank you for sharing, I needed this bible verse. I don’t usually enter to win items, but I think I might need this book since it was offered today. Today is my mother’s birthday. She would have turned 62. She died when she was 33 and I just turned 17 and my sister was 15 and brothers 11 and 7. Every year we go to a lakefront near us (we all live in different cities) and tribute her memory. This morning I was rushed as I drove by the lakefront on the way to work, I thought I will just pray as I drive. I wanted to start with, “I love you mom” – but my heart took over and I loudly interrupted my mind and said “I hate you for leaving us”. You see, she took her own life and I see it as leaving us and I guess I am not ok with that yet. I need healing in this and other painful experiences and maybe this book would help. Either way, thank you for giving the devotional today for Proverbs 31, God’s Word really spoke to me.
Oh Suzie…I don’t have words. Your encouragement and prayers have ment so much to me in the last year. I am in a new place closer to our Lord and you helped so much. And to top it off, even in your time of trial you are still an amazingly real example of clinging to Jesus and the Truth. I will be praying for your husband, for you, and your family. ❤️
The intro to your blog drew me in. Life has been ugly hard for quite sometime now.Situations that have left my heart in a million pieces. It’s hard to face the day, the ‘friends,’ and even harder to try and forget what was and the expectations of what could’ve been. But, I know to trust my Father God, to hold as tight as I can to his steady hand. To go to him time and again to help me thru the weariness. I am just thankful for his word, his voice, and the encouragement from his messengers like you. I’m trying to learn and let these hurts teach me instead of destroy me. I’ll be praying for your guy, for you and your family knowing Good hears and will honor our prayers for him. Keep doing what you’re doing. So many of us are growing and learning God’s ways thru you. God bless.
Suzie, I’m praying for Richard and your whole family. Thanks for allowing your readers to be part of your journey.
i would love to win a copy of your book for my sister. Her husband of 20 years left her about 3 years ago. She refused to let go and trust God. Her house is like a shrine to this man. She is always asking people to pray for her, which her pray is for her husband’s return, but we all know that isn’t going to happen. He has moved on with his life and I pray that she will and can do the same.
You and your husband are in my prayers. It’s always harder to watch someone you love suffer than it is to suffer yourself. It seems everywhere I look today I am reminded to not lose sight of the dream that God has placed in my heart. At times I forget that my God is “….so big, so strong and so mighty” and there’s nothing that He cannot do. My husband was killed when another driver lost control on the highway and struck him head-on – I have been battling depression off and on since then. Please pray that our sons will return to The Lord and that theirs wives and children will come to know The Lord. Thank you and God bless. Jer 29:11
My heart and prayers went up as I read your blog. Praying that God provides for your every need through this difficult season.
love,
Adriana
God that healed you is still the I AM. He will heal Richard. Healing is the bread of the children. Without doubt he is a child. The provision has been made for his healing 2000 years ago. It is well with you. So encouraged by your post today. I love you dearly.
Prayers for you and your family. I watched my dad struggle with cancer many years ago and know what a hard place it must be for you and your husband to be in again. There are not words. I know that God is faithful and when you come through this season you will be stronger than ever. May God give you peace and bless you as you walk through each day.
I will pray for you and Richard. I know very well, the space where grief is, that you speak of. My husband had open heart surgery,quite unexpected, this summer. In the midst of coming to terms with what we just went thru, my best friend left me. The darkest six months of my life. But God is ever faithful and has never left my side through it all. Thank you for writing and encouraging.
Thank you for sharing your story and your honest feelings along the way. My 50 year old husband was diagnosed with stage IV stomach cancer on September 15th and has now been through 5 chemo treatments. Barring a miraculous healing this will be the new normal for our lives until the cancer spreads or he can no longer tolerate the treatments. He remains in good spirits, willing to fight as long as he can for the sake of his family. (We have 4 children between the ages of 20 and 25, with 2 still in college.) It has strengthened our faith and drawn us closer to the Lord, but as you know, there are many hard and confusing days. Your words and the verses from Jeremiah will be a great encouragement to me along the way. I will be praying for you and your family.
God is ALWAYS bigger than what we face, who we are, our circumstances…fill in the blank. There are so many things in life that we encounter that are difficult but, I couldn’t imagine facing them without Him. Prayers going up for you and your husband.
Praying for you and peace for your family. I am dealing with guilt from a past divorce and how it may affect my children. I struggle and feel like I need to atone for this on a consistent basis and have to remember that God loves me and when I ask for forgiveness, He will forgive. I don’t need to earn my way through good deeds.
Oh, how I needed this today. I am struggling (that is an understatement) to figure out how to even begin to trust my husband again. He is neither trustworthy nor honorable, and I’m trying, but I’m scared to be hurt again. Thank you for reminding me that God is trustworthy and honorable, and that I can sink my roots in Him.
Thanks f ooo r sharing….encouraged by your faith…would love a copy of your book
I am sorry, Suzie, for this new trial in your life and I understand a piece of it. Two years after my cancer was finally eliminated, my son was diagnosed with a brain tumor. I agree with you – it’s easier when we go through it rather than our loved ones. May God hold you close in the days ahead.
Praying for you and your family. How kind of God to lay that verse on your heart to memorize, knowing it would strengthen you in the days ahead. . .
It’s hard to trust in the Lord when your knocked off your feet it feels like. I lost my sister when I was younger and it was and is still hard. To not know the why she had to go so soon. I’m thankful for the Lord that he listens to our cries and angry all the while he comforts us.
Thank you Mrs. Suzie I really needed that encouragement today. I am going through different things that I don’t want to go through, but you showed me to be like the tree whose roots are in Christ. So, I want to share this picture with you and everyone else whose sees this post this:https://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/0c/de/6e/0cde6e532bc2d13e8c7568185081d1d9.jpg I couldn’t get the picture to paste but if you go to this link you can see the picture of a tree rooted in Christ.
Even daily struggles rob us of the joy of the Lord
if we give them too much space in our lives.
Thank you for your words of encouragement.
I needed to read this today. It’s been hard for the past year and a half, since losing my dad. Thanks for your encouragement.
Thank you so much for this wonderful message of hope. We have been in a year or more of drought in regards to our current church situation. My husband is the senior pastor and the struggles we have gone through have rocked our world to the core. We have cried and prayed and wept and prayed and yelled and prayed and then started over again. We have asked to be released to another place but feel God’s quiet voice saying, STAY. What a gift it is when we have received word of yet one more hurt to open my email and read a message like this! We do “consider it all joy when you encounter trials of various kinds” knowing that the drought has produced an intimate relationship with Jesus that we have not known before. It’s been a long time to get to that joy but it is slowly coming. I never cease to be amazed at how believers can hurt each other to the core. Thanks again for sharing your heart and the Jeremiah passage and prayers for an overwhelming sense of God’s presence and strength as you walk through this valley.
Your strength and courage are so remarkable. Something so devastating can be detrimental to Christians and their relationship with God. It is so encouraging to a fairly new Christian (like me) to see the faith that you so eloquently ensue. If I should ever go through something so life-altering, I hope that I would be reminded of your love for the Lord and pursuit of Him through it all. I pray for your comfort and your continued hope in the Lord. May God bring you peace and joy in the midst of this hardship. If you should have the opportunity, these verses have helped me through several trials: Psalm 119:50; Psalm 94-18; 1 Peter 5:10; and 2 Timothy 1:7 (my personal favorite). You are an inspiration. Thank you and God Bless You!
Wow, your devotion really blessed me today. Thank you for being brave enough to share what is going on in your life with us. Its been hard for me this year as a single mom with financial and health challenges but I continue to put my trust in God to deliver me. I am definitely praying for you and your husband. God Bless You.
God bless you with peace & wisdom & strength. Thank you for sharing – your message is encouraging to all of us who walk through a hard place…..
This couldn’t have come at a better time – of course an answer to prayers crying out to God to help me.
I found out October 1st that I have stage3a invasive ductile cancer – after 2 surgeries and now my second infusion with 2 more – 12 weeks once a week after that – the 6 weeks of radiation to follow. I have been in the most darkest place ever – my faith has been so shaken and then I see the face of God and then I am shaken again and so on. Thank you for your honesty I will be following your blog. I will pray for you and your husband.
Written with such rawness and such heart. Please know that we are all praying – we are all lifting you up. Speaking complete healing for your guy! In Jesus name. Amen!
You have given me so much through your books and blog! I am praying for you and your family!
Hi Suzi, God has used you and the scripture reference that you gave to touch our shared pain, as we are walking though cancer with our oldest son right now. I have been stuffing my pain instead of meditating on scripture like you. Thank you for sharing your journey. I will pray for your family.
Hugs, Lindsay
Wow! Just have to thank you for bringing the comfort I prayed for just this morning! My eyes are still raw from tears during my prayers BUT “some how” I found you and your story. Today will still be hard– but what you shared reminded me, that no matter the out come, “my God’s GOT THIS.” Sending love and prayers your way!
Suzie, I am so sorry the cancer is back. May Jesus hold you so closely to His heart that you hear the rhythm of His faithful love for you!
I love your honesty in this post and the encouragement that it’s ok to say it’s hard. “There’s sacred space for grief, one in which you don’t have to be stronger than you feel. A place where you can rest in the strength that comes from a God that is big enough to bear that burden with you.” Such a beautiful truth!
Somehow I read this wrong – that your cancer had returned, but I see now that you did have cancer before and it’s your husband who has it. Guess I was in a brain freeze when I first read it. Sorry. But the cancer is still back. The prayer goes for you and your husband both.
Cancer has been a part of our staffs lives for over 8 years and now yesterday another is now fighting that battle. We are an army of warriors praying for healing for all battling and those walking along side.
While I’ve been facing a hard season of life, my season is not nearly as drastic as yours. Thank you for opening up and sharing the truths I need to hear. I will be praying for you and your husband.
I’m going through a divorce I do NOT want nor believe in! In January, it would have been 19 years & now I will be turning 40 in March starting all over. I would love for you to pray for me and my kids. I will lift you, your husband, and entire family up. Thank you for your words, your life & for keeping it real!!
Thanks for your encouraging words. Praying for you & your husband.
Praying for your husband, you & your family….. May HIS Face continue to Shine Upon You & Your Loved Ones!!!!
Praying for you & your husband. You described exactly how I’ve been feeling. I think I would rather have a brain tumor than my husband. It is hard to go through it with someone, but then, if I had it, my husband would have to be there for me which I know he would. My husband has lived with a slow growing tumor for 25 years and now suddenly we are looking at brain surgery again. My husband wants the surgery..me, not as much. We could have had hospice which I was told by the oncologist was a perfectly good decision too. Sometimes I think it is better to do less medically..unless it is an emergency or the person is younger. My husband is 67. I don’t want to lose him, and I don’t want to see him suffer from some medical interventions. If he suffers through the natural course of events, that’s one thing, but if surgery or rsdiation makes him worse, I can’t see it. I apologize for going on & on..those sre just some of the things I’m feeling.
Praying for you both!
Suzie,
Thank you so much for your post today and for openly and honestly sharing your life with us. I too went through a very challenging and sometimes very scary time in 2010 when I was diagnosed with breast cancer and so I was especially touched with your devotional today. The Lord so lovingly poured out so many promises in His Word to strengthen, sustain and to encourage me throughout it all. Without His strong, yet gentle arms embracing me and truth of His Word, reminding me that I am His no matter what, surely I would have crumbled. But He is my glory and the lifter of my head and His joy truly is my strength. As soon as I finished reading your devotional this morning I stopped to pray for your husband, you and all your family. I share with you one of the Scriptures that I declare over each one of you that the Lord has spoke into my own heart so many times to bring me reassurance and hope – But now, thus says the LORD, who created you, O Jacob, and He who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; you are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior… Isaiah 43:1-3 Blessings to you sweet sister in the Lord. I will continue to lift you up to our faithful Father.
Suzie, I am so glad you are seeking the Lord with all your heart – seeking to trust and for sending your roots out by the stream, where you can be replenished. The Lord will sustain you and keep you. I am praying over this right now. I know how it feels to face old problems – problems you thought you already tackled. The Lord understands too. I felt SO honored to have you as part of the Cheerleading Link Up today. Thanks for supporting your Compel Cheerleader. I cheer you on, because I know you will come out the other side with a beautiful story of God’s love to encourage us all. Much Love Suzie!!!
I’m sorry to hear that you have received news, that quite frankly, no one wants to hear. I believe we love and serve a God who hears and answers prayer. His arm is not too short. He’s the same God yesterday, today, and forever. He’s more than able to heal your guy and provide the finances to cover all the medical expenses. We will be praying you and your family through this. Our God reigns — our healer, protector, strength, rock, and fortress. I believe He’s calling you, “come away my beloved and hide under the shadow of my wings until this calamity be over passed.”
Suzie – my heart and prayers go out to you and Richard. I pray for his healing, and I pray that throughout this whole process, the Lord’s peace will envelope you both no matter the circumstance.
Suzie…I can’t imagine how you feel. I, too, have been through cancer and am so thankful it was me instead of other loved ones, especially my husband. Praying for you and your family as you travel this journey together once again with God carrying you through!
A sister in Christ sent me the link today to this posting/blog. It was exactly what I needed today after meeting with my oncologist yesterday. I’m newly diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer and soon will begin radiation & chemo. Yesterday’s conversation dealt mostly with the many side effects I can expect with the treatments. Afterwards, I realized the cancer was now less frightening than the treatment! I don’t know why I was the one to get this disease nor do I care. I am fighting to keep a positive attitude because I know my God can and does work miracles. I need Him by my side every step of the way because without Him there is no hope. As I continue my now never ending conversation with God I will include you and your husband so that he may find healing also.
My daddy died this past June & on the day of his memorial service my mother & I had ‘words’ & she called me a terrible name & I left in tears. I didn’t attend his memorial service or the reception afterwards. I wrote a letter of apology for anything I had said or done that week. She is still not talking to me. Neither of my two daughters are speaking to me either. They didn’t check on me when I didn’t show up for the service or reception. My mother doesn’t have a relationship w/the Lord & is a very angry person. The Lord revealed to me some things she told my girls (things I shared w/her about my girls) & that’s why they’re not speaking to me. My grand-daughter had her 2nd birthday 11/29 but I haven’t seen her in 6 months. I know I will have victory in this but some days are just too much! I know the Lord is holding me as I walk this path & he has put some wonderful Godly women in my life to help me through.
Suzie, thank you for sharing your heart with us. Love you!
Suzie,
First, you, your husband and family definitely have my prayers. Prayers for God’s healing of your husband and prayers of strength and comfort for you. My husband was diagnosed with cancer 6 years ago and finished chemo over 5 years ago. It was hard to be the caregiver and watch him deal with the effects of chemo. Some days I said “my verse” over and over and over. I liked this particular translation, “I can do all things through Christ; He gives me strength.” I pray your husband’s outcome is as good as my husband’s. He made it to his 5 year anniversary of being cancer-free this past summer. Hugs to you all!!
Suzie
I am lifting you and Richard up In Prayer
It is true that we must trust our awesome Gods plan for us
We can be sad though and grieve !
I shared with my college children just yesterday
As I await test results
I wanted to shelter than from this waiting and actually
I was so surprised by their tears of sadness and such strength from God at the same time
I am learning to trust gods plan, though it is not always easy or what we want
We love you and your ministry!
Keeping you in daily prayer time!
Lori
Hi Suzie,
My heart is heavy for you and your husband. I’m saying a prayer right now for you.
My family has been on a wild journey over the last couple of years that has left me with gaping wounds in my heart – and holes in my trust. The last 18 months have been marked with death, mental illness, cancer, job loss, more death, inability to find work, broken relationships, more death. Our previously near-perfect world is so hurt and broken and empty-feeling these days.
I find myself afraid to hope, because so many dreams have been shattered. Afraid to dream again because now I understand that the good parts that remain after the last 18 months are fragile and could go away at any moment. Afraid to not worry when my loved ones are traveling or working with dangerous tools or chasing a stray soccer ball too close to a country road. Afraid to trust that I’ll find a good job soon and that my financial needs will be met. Afraid to get out of bed some mornings.
In all honesty, I don’t understand how people who don’t know God can get through even basic functions in life without crumbling.
But as afraid and broken as i feel these days, I am thankful for the journey and for experiencing the brokenness of this world. I have gained new anticipation for eternity that I never knew before. I have gained new understanding of the peace that passes understanding. I have come to know joy in spite of overwhelming unhappiness.
I have often looked to the Psalms for comfort. There we can see the deepest and darkest of emotions, given to us in God’s sacred Word – but it doesn’t end there. Each time the psalmist cries out “God why have you forsaken me?” or “How long, O Lord?”, he concludes his cry, his prayer, his song, with “But I trust you. I worship you. You are God.”
In this difficult season of my life, I have clung to this: Even in this, God is still God, and God is still good.
You’re an inspiration. Thank you for sharing.
I am in a hard and broken place too and I appreciate your words of wisdom. I will definitely pray for your guy. May you allow Him to be strong in your weakness…..
Praying God’s peace and healing for your husband, you and your family as you all walk this hard journey.
Blessings MaryG
Thank you for sharing. I needed to hear that today!
Thank you for sharing…. Your words are an encouragement to myself and many others. Praying for you and your family.
Thank you so much….. I needed these words today.
Prayers for you and your family…….
My love and prayers go out for you Suzie. May you truly experience the presence of Jesus as you walk through this journey. Blessings to you and your family.
Sweet Suzi,
You bring such light and peace into the lives of so many. I hope that you can feel the out pouring of love and support from all of us, whose lives you have touched and blessed with your words and insights. I couldn’t comment last night when I first read your post, I could not find the words to share. I left this up to see first thing this morning, so that I might find some. I have and will keep you and your dear husband lifted in my prayers. And………….may our Dear Lord’s Peace fill you both and your family.
Your words hit home. Right to the heart. The other one thing I know is this: We are to imitate those who by faith and patience inherit the promises of God. All of them are given to us by a promise keeping, covenant keeping Father. If we can link arms in faith we are stronger for it. If we can write out our place and stand of faith to encourage and strengthen others, then may we do so. Linking with you from Cheerleading links but linking with you in faith and believing with you for all of God’s promises to be fulfilled in your lives. I bless you for taking the time to find and connect with the source of your strength and help. He will not fail you.
Yes Susie, I am praying for you. I know how it is to have the one you love face something you have no control over. I know you know the ONE who does have control, who is always there, who carries us when we can’t walk alone. I also know that sometimes TRUST comes hard. So I will pray for you and ask you to do the same for me as I face my own trust issues with some health problems. Thanks and Merry Christmas. May the PEACE of Christ dwell in you now and always! with the love of a sister in Christ Jesus Mary
Thank you for sharing your heart with us today. I’m praying for your husband, you and all of your family.
You are so loved! I am covering you, your husband and your family right now, in the name of Jesus. God is able!!!
I’ve walked this path with my husband 10 years ago and know it is a place of great concern and uncertainty. But the the Lord was with us and the results, although not all we hoped and prayed for, were very good. My husband is cancer free and our lives continue to be blessed. My heartfelt prayers cover you and your guy for peace, comfort, healing and strength.
My heart and prayers go out to you and your husband. I lost my husband 12 years ago to cancer (he was only 47), but he fought hard & the Lord kept His arms around us through it all.
Thank you so much for the verse! I was looking for a new memory verse and the one you shared is perfection! Love and prayers will be sent your way every day!
Suzie-
It is hard to find the right words! I’m praying for the best possible outcome for your husband.
Love and light to you and your family.
I lift you and your family up in the name of Jesus. We thank you, Lord, for healing, comfort, and a joyful Christmas season.
I am dealing with the devastation of infidelity. It is a pain that I cannot imagine inflicting on another person. My husband is also newly sober, so we are finally dealing with issues I never dreamed would come about. It is both awesome and awful all rolled into one glob of messiness. I would have loved it if he hadn’t felt the need to break me in order to fix him. He wants to keep our family intact, but I just don’t know if I can get past this betrayal. I am trying, and at this point, it is all I can do. Faith in God is the ONLY thing that has gotten me through some very dark days. I am still struggling, but I draw closer and closer to His loving protection. Now, if only I can find it in my heart to fully and truly Forgive my remorseful and hurting husband.
Dear sister Leigh Anne, I have also felt the cutting pain of adultery. It took me to a place beyond anything I could imagine or ever desire. My husband of 25 years had a 4 year affair and fathered a child with a young woman (mutual acquaintance) who is 20 years younger than he. She moved to our neighborhood and attended our church. There are many other sordid, painful details that I will skip. I understand your pain and grief. Yes, grief and you will have to grieve to work through the process of forgiving your husband. You have lost something precious to you but Jesus can make ALL things new. He specializes in fixing brokenness. That’s what He did on the cross when He forgave us. Frankly, I would have given anything to be in your place. You see, where your husband wants to stay and make the effort to preserve and renew your relationship and family, my husband was not interested or motivated to stay. My children (19 and 7) and I had talked and had agreed we were willing to give up everything for a fresh start with my husband, their dad. But he walked away despite our open arms and yes, broken, but open hearts. He married her and they had 2 more children. They were all at our granddaughter’s birthday party yesterday.He left 15 years ago and there are times it is still hard for me and our children-especially our older daughter. Like yesterday. You have the gift of a sober, motivated husband who wants to make amends. My daughters and I went to a Christian counselor for awhile and found it helpful in coping and moving forward as well. I will be praying for you. God is not done with your story yet. Isaiah 43:15-19.
Hello Suzie,
First of all I want to say Jesus loves you and He will never let go of your hand, you are not alone.
As I read your story, I was reliving my own in my mind. My darling, sweet mother passed away last July due to ovarian cancer. The pain and heartache of her loss is still overwhelming to me at times. I feel so alone without her.
She was diagnosed at the end of April 2012. She was already in the last stages and it was difficult to know what would happen, I feared her death then but God was faithful and loving for a year in keeping her with us till July 2013.
I want to share her testimony with you. From the beginning she was strong, brave and very positive, her faith in Jesus and her love for him was the only thing that kept her till he took her home to glory.
She started her chemo in June 2012 and had her first surgery in July, continued with chemo every month. Her ovaries and uterus were removed. By September she looked like she was going to make it. Little did I know her caner cells were the regenerative type and was actually spreading. The chemo only helped to suppress it to an extent.
In December she went to the Gulf to visit with my cousin and her family who live there. We are from Bangalore, India. We grew up in the Gulf and returned home after my brother and I completed high school.
We too have faced tremendous trials as a family while we
grew up. Mum’s faith in Jesus was passed to us and her life exemplified it to the core. I never could understand how my mother faced all she went through in her life with such strength, but now I know that Jesus was her strength and He carried her through till the end.
Through her battle in that last year of her life, she never failed or missed an opportunity to share Jesus with almost everyone she around her. She even led a few in our family to Him who were of another faith. From her family to the stranger on the road, my mother shared Jesus and showed him through her life.
She died on a Sunday and the on one before, she had heard angels singing and the Lord prepared her from then to take her. She was ready too, waiting to meet her Lord and Savior.
I only regret that I couldn’t be there enough for her and the guilt of it still plagues me. Today I face my own battles with my own little family. Please pray much for my little Sarah and my husband Michael. Strength for my dad and brother. Leading in my brother’s life and marriage.
Freedom in my life from my past which has imprisoned me from childhood.
You truly are a blessing and an inspiration. Thankyou for showing me today that I can go on in spite of what I’m going through because of my eternal and ever near comfort, Jesus.
I commit u and your husband Richard into Jesus’ loving arms and believe he is in control and has already done all that is to be done for both of you to face this journey together and individually. I know how it feels because I watched my father struggle alongside my mother for 15 months, scared, uncertain but trusting Jesus all the way. Today, he is stronger in The Lord than before, even though he still has a long way to go, but God has been faithful to him.
Isaiah 53:5, Matthew 9:22, 1 Peter 2:24, Exodus 15:26, Psalms 103:3, Isaiah 45:3
I trust these promises from His Word will be source of comfort and strength as you both keep building and believing Him through your faith.
May the presence of our Lord and the gift of what he came to be to the world, be with you and keep you this Christmas and in the year to come.
Love, prayers & blessings
Hello Suzie,
First of all I want to say Jesus loves you and He will never let go of your hand, you are not alone.
As I read your story, I was reliving my own in my mind. My darling, sweet mother passed away last July due to ovarian cancer. The pain and heartache of her loss is still overwhelming to me at times. I feel so alone without her.
She was diagnosed at the end of April 2012. She was already in the last stages and it was difficult to know what would happen, I feared her death then but God was faithful and loving for a year in keeping her with us till July 2013.
I want to share her testimony with you. From the beginning she was strong, brave and very positive, her faith in Jesus and her love for him was the only thing that kept her till he took her home to glory.
She started her chemo in June 2012 and had her first surgery in July, continued with chemo every month. Her ovaries and uterus were removed. By September she looked like she was going to make it. Little did I know her caner cells were the regenerative type and was actually spreading. The chemo only helped to suppress it to an extent.
In December she went to the Gulf to visit with my cousin and her family who live there. We are from Bangalore, India. We grew up in the Gulf and returned home after my brother and I completed high school.
We too have faced tremendous trials as a family while we
grew up. Mum’s faith in Jesus was passed to us and her life exemplified it to the core. I never could understand how my mother faced all she went through in her life with such strength, but now I know that Jesus was her strength and He carried her through till the end.
Through her battle in that last year of her life, she never failed or missed an opportunity to share Jesus with almost everyone she around her. She even led a few in our family to Him who were of another faith. From her family to the stranger on the road, my mother shared Jesus and showed him through her life.
She died on a Sunday and the on one before, she had heard angels singing and the Lord prepared her from then to take her. She was ready too, waiting to meet her Lord and Savior.
I only regret that I couldn’t be there enough for her and the guilt of it still plagues me. Today I face my own battles with my own little family. Please pray much for my little Sarah and my husband Michael. Strength for my dad and brother. Leading in my brother’s life and marriage.
Freedom in my life from my past which has imprisoned me from childhood.
You truly are a blessing and an inspiration. Thankyou for showing me today that I can go on in spite of what I’m going through because of my eternal and ever near comfort, Jesus.
I commit u and your husband Richard into Jesus’ loving arms and believe he is in control and has already done all that is to be done for both of you to face this journey together and individually. I know how it feels because I watched my father struggle alongside my mother for 15 months, scared, uncertain but trusting Jesus all the way. Today, he is stronger in The Lord than before, even though he still has a long way to go, but God has been faithful to him.
Isaiah 53:5, Matthew 9:22, 1 Peter 2:24, Exodus 15:26, Psalms 103:3, Isaiah 45:3
I trust these promises from His Word will be source of comfort and strength as you both keep building and believing Him through your faith.
May the presence of our Lord and the gift of what he came to be to the world, be with you and keep you this Christmas and in the year to come.
Love, prayers & blessings
Please pray for a “Mended Heart” for me. Some of my sorrow were brought on by my choices and others from a recent divorce. I lost my soulmate-
Praying for you and yours…….
Suzie, yes, I followed you here (my first time visit) from Encouragement For Today. But what led me there first was a discussion on my own blog about facing what the New Year may bring for all of us by reflecting on God’s love for us and trusting in Him rather than reflection on what has happened in our own human lives.
We are all so vulnerable. Without Him, I cannot even get out of bed each morning and face the day. I so appreciate your words built upon the Jeremiah scripture. Thank you! Praise God for leading me to you.
I’ve just lifted you and your husband in prayer for health and strength. God bless.
Yes, this is my first visit from Encouragement Today. I have prayed for your husband and for you during this difficult time. I had breast cancer in 2000. That was a time when the truth sunk in that there is always a gift in the difficulties. We just have to be willing to look for it. I pray that God continues to open your eyes to those gifts as you walk through this path.
~ Sue
I will be praying for your family! I have been struggling with some personal issues again and needed this reminder to trust God always.
I had cancer three years ago. I never looked back. I was scheduled for a check up in December. For some unknown reason, I began to worry. I stopped all the hurriedness of Christmas and sat and talked and listened to my Lord. I finally remembered “to worry for nothing” and “trust in the Lord” and several other phrases that floated into my consciousness without chapter and verse. It was more like a conversation. Yes, my report was good, unlike yours, but I already had the peace before I walked into the office. I still have work to do, it seems.
You are still being molded by our creator. He loves you and He has reasons for this. Trust and talk to Him and most importantly, listen.
Prayers Suzie! I just read your article. May He carry you on eagles wings!
I have prayed for your husband’s healing and also for you. We know that God is the Great Physician. I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers. Your post really uplifted and helped me today. I’m glad that I read it. I know that God will, as He always has, strengthen and take care of you and your family.
You are such an encouragement! Thank you for sharing this. Praying for you both.