If Jesus walked up to you and said, “I want to give you a mended heart,
but in return I want ___________,” what would that be?
Not too long ago I asked over 100 women this question, and their answers were honest and some heartbreaking.
Why?
Because it’s hard to know what you are holding onto when it has become part of you.
Many realized they had been holding on to things that held them back, kept them down, and offered little value.
Can I tell you what my answer was?
~ resentment ~
For years, I held on to resentment. It took root in my identity. In the way I saw life. In how I let down my guard (or not) with people.
Resentment is bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly.
When I say it like that, I can almost make a case for having held on to it for way too long. . . except for the trade off God had in store, which was:
~ restoration ~
One made me bitter. The other taught me how to forgive.
One made me distrustful of people. The other showed me how to offer grace.
One made me fearful. The other gave me the wisdom to know the difference between fear and unresolved pain.
One kept me trapped. The other helped me let go.
Today I want to hear what your answer to that question. Pray about it. Ask the Holy Spirit to lead you to the answer.
If Jesus walked up to you and said, “I want to give you a mended heart,
but in return I want ___________,” what would your answer be?
Share your answer here and then let’s pray about it together, okay?
all of my shame.
Guilt and shame
Oh Sarah, two of the enemy’s tools created to accuse. These are not yours to hold any longer. Father, thank you for Sarah. Thank you for her heart to love others. Thank you for the healing over her heart that has already taken place in such a miraculous way. Today we hold up together these two things, guilt and shame. We recognize that they do not come from you and therefore we want nothing to do with them. Thank you for conviction in the place of guilt. It leads us to hear your voice and take the path toward your open arms and teaching and love. Thank you for redemption in place of shame. We come without shame into your presence for it is there where we find every life-giving gift. Today Sarah places these two things in your hands freely, and we ask for the wisdom and direction and strength to leave them there. In your powerful name, amen.
Fear and control
I don’t have a list of specific things I could point to because I probably need to think more about it to come up with that but…
What occurred to me this morning reading this is, it simply has to be better to show up for life ready, or at least available for whatever is coming.
If I show up and the event or space and it is already partially filled with old stuff that has nothing to do with what’s going on, how can I allow what’s going on to be fully lived or enjoyed?
I know the simple trendy word for that is “baggage” but today’s reading makes me realize it’s gone beyond something I carry around, it’s become something of me.
Harder to drop.
Need God’s help.
What insight! When it’s beyond something that you’re carrying and it’s become a part of who you are, it’s such a gift to hear your loving Heavenly Father ask for it. It’s not your burden to carry.
Bitterness
rejection
Lord, Mary holds up rejection to receive unconditional love and acceptance, but even more she receives her mended heart. Layer by layer, day by day, she will walk with you and shut out the voices that say, “not enough” to hear the words, “mine, valued, worthy.”
In Jesus’ name, amen.
Fear and worry
healing from a painful childhood (abuse, incest, etc.)
Feeling of inadequacy (drugs meant more to my husband then me and our children) control, fear of the future.and filing for divorce, ashamed of not keeping marriage together.
Trusting that God will mend my heart and on the eve of my birthday that He will restore a joy and peace in me so my children feel that everything will be ok in our new normal ( 3 Musketeers)
Fear and rejection
Everything – time, money, dreams, doubts, desires.
My insecurity, anger, bitterness, contempt, regret, failure, loneliness, rejection.
My inability to be a woman the way every woman is normally – responsible, capable, depended on by her family, trustworthy when needed to be counted on.
All my life I’ve been told ‘you can’t’, in my heart I believed I can but the power of the negative has imprisoned me for 33 years and today i really can’t be what I need to be to my husband and daughter.
HELP!!!!
My inadequacies of taking care of finances.
Oh sweet sister can I relate with you about this one! I am in a huge problem because of this! What I am trying to work on now, in addition to cutting up all my credit cards – which I did, is this idea:
Financial trouble or worries make me feel scared. I feel badly about myself. Financial irresponsibility is a way of not taking care of myself. Clearly this is not God’s plan for me, so I am allowing something else to be at work. Something that does not take care of me the way God would.
My own negative thoughts about myself?