I walked into a spider web the other night.
A spider was attached. A big one.
The web was huge and sticky, and wrapped around my face. I swiped at it and the large, hairy spider wrapped its legs around my thumb.
I can only imagine his thoughts when he spiraled through the air at thirty miles an hour. My husband still laughs when he thinks about the funky dance I performed.
Believe me, I was letting go — whether the spider was ready or not!
In today’s Encouragement for Today devotional, I shared that my healing required lots of “letting go.”
The funny thing is, the things I held onto were just as yuk as that spider, but I embraced a lot of them for way too long. I held them close. I let them saturate my emotional DNA. I allowed them to tell me how valuable I was, or not.
It wasn’t a conscious decision. They crept up slowly. They seemed normal.
I remember the first thing God asked me to let go.
God asked me to let go of unforgiveness.
I knew that I was tangled up, but didn’t know where to begin. The word “forgive” came strong, and often.
It took me a long time to realize that forgiving wasn’t saying that what happened was OK, but that I was worthy of healing. It was giving myself permission to release the need to punish someone in my heart.
The second thing that God asked to let go of was a false identity.
I’m me. You are you.
We are not our past, though it has an influence.
We are not those words someone said.
We are not limited, set back, or tied up in things that someone else did or said, but free to carve our own path as God leads.
You might be surprised that when you let go, how free you are just to be yourself.
Letting go isn’t usually a one-time deal
Today, when those things try to creep back into my heart — because they will try — I recognize them.
[bctt tweet=”We are not limited, tangled, or tied up by someone else’s words or actions. God sets us free to carve our own destiny. #livingfreetogether” username=”suzanneeller”]
I also recognize the source.
Like that hairy spider (I can still feel those long, hairy legs wrapping around my thumb), they have to spiral all the way back to the enemy, where they came from.
They are not welcome in my heart.
They are not welcome in my thought process.
They are not welcome in my relationships.
They are not welcome in my view of God, or my life in general.
I wasn’t looking to run into a spider web that night. It was dark outside. It’s hot during the day and walking in the cool of the evening makes perfect sense. If I had walked into that web, and allowed that spider to wrap around my thumb and inject its poison, it wouldn’t make sense.
So, let’s give ourselves permission to start letting go.
Remember this as you do:
- It’s never ever too late to be free
Don’t buy into the lie that says it’s too late. It’s never too late to discover what God has for you.
- “Free” comes in stages
The more you let go, the more you discover what freedom looks and feels like. I’m not the same person I was when I started letting go — not even close.
Yet it came in stages. There were times I realized I had crossed a major hurdle and didn’t even realize it. I knew what to do. It didn’t affect me the same way.
If you are still trying to figure out who you are, separate from those things that have held you tight for way too long, don’t give up. God knows who you are. Trust him every step of the way. You will get there, sweet friend, I promise.
[bctt tweet=”So if the son sets me free, I am free indeed. John 8:36 #livingfreetogether ” username=”suzanneeller”]
What is one thing you sense God asking you to let go of? Let’s pray about that together.
Suzie
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Oh Suzie! I want to give myself permission to laugh at the mental picture of you doing that “funky dance” . . . but I know the good Lord would send a sticky web my way just to teach me a lesson in humility. Ha! Besides, I do my own funky dance when it comes to bees. It’s NOT pretty! 🙂 In all seriousness, I absolutely adore this post. You read my mind and your words spoke straight to my heart. Letting go of unforgiveness and of false identity. Learning that letting go is a continual surrender, and not a “one-time deal.” “Free comes in stages.” Yes! Thank you, Jesus!
Thank you for these blessed words, Suzie – and for sharing a little humor that I’m sure wasn’t very humorous in the creepiness of the moment. 🙂 See, God really can use ALL things — even big, ugly, hairy spiders!
We walked again last night and this time it was a large bug that attached on my neck. We may decide that late-night walking isn’t our thing!
Pray i would let go of control of finances&please people. X
Lord, praying that Atholl would release these two areas to you today. It’s not easy letting go of things that make us feel safe, but our safety is found in our relationship with you, Father. Pour out your presence and peace over her life, and her thoughts. As she takes baby steps in these directions, we celebrate every one of them, Father. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Thanks xx
God is speaking to my heart about this in some deep ways. I need to let go of this season and embrace the new one coming. I need to let go of people, I need to let go of the unhealthy way I have looked at myself and truly receive who God says I am. I need to let go of trying to be other people because for some reason I think they are better than who God has made me to be. I need to let go of what I want and think is best for me and for my family and receive what God’s plans and what He knows is best for me and for my family. These are just a few things :). Love you Suzie!! I am grateful for the way you allow God to use you t speak God’s truth to us.
Lord, thank you for Desiree. For who she is, your creation. Thank you for her purpose, directed by you. We celebrate that together today.
I am new to this site and learning to let go really spoke to me as I struggle with this very much. I noticed, however, that most advice on this topic concerns letting go of something bad or harmful. My issue is that I am having a terrible time letting go of a past season of my life when I lived in wonderful rural NH and was raising 2 beautiful daughters. I now have an empty nest and moved to Northern VA to be closer to my grown daughters. I really don’t like living here and terribly miss my home in NH of 33 years with all the memories and I miss my friends. How do you let go of something wonderful; something a part of you doesn’t want to let go of? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Donna
Oh Donna, what a great question. Starting over is difficult. We started over about 4 years ago (after living in the same place for 33 years). I remember walking into a church and looking around and thinking, “I know no one.” It was such a strange feeling. It took time, but this new place became home. It was an intentional effort to make new friends, to find my new normal, to put down roots. I knew it was where God wanted us to be, and it took time.
That’s my prayer for you today. That, if this is where you believe God desires you to be, you’ll begin to see this as a new chapter between you and God. Praying that he writes new words upon that chapter daily, friend. Letting go might mean making intentional moves to put down roots where you are. It might not be roots in your daughter’s lives or what they are doing, but roots that are tender and fresh in a church, a Bible study, an organization, with new friends.
Praying with you today, and “rooting” you on. : ) Sorry, it’s corny, but I mean it. Praying for your new chapter and cheering you on.
Donna, I feel your heart, and you’re so brave to share it. Thank you. I live in Northern VA too. Do you mind sharing what town you live in now?
Suzie, my heart has been so heavy for weeks. My best friend completely fell apart, lied to me for months, left her husband, and despite my long letters and texts and tears to her in person, she hasn’t spoken to me in seven weeks. It’s been the most painful experience of my adult life, and I’m struggling so hard to move past it. I feel used and broken and lost and that I’ll never be able to have another friendship. I pray every day that she will come around and that she misses me like I miss her, and that we can reconcile. And part of me is trying to hate her so that I can use my anger to heal. But no matter how hard I try, I can’t hate her. I know that’s not what I need. I need to let go of unforgiveness.
I went to bed last night, and like the last fifty nights, asked God to unburden my heart and help me feel whole again. Help me feel like I did all I could and forgive myself for the things I didn’t know and to not let this heart-breaking experience change my views of myself. I need to let go of the false identity this experience has colored me with.
Both of your devotions this morning are what my heart needed, and beautiful reminders that it will come in stages. Thank you.
Father, thank you for Ellen’s surrender to you in this hard place. If there are things you want to reveal to her, will you do that. If there are things that are beyond her control to manage or fix, will you remind her that your hands are open and you will carry this burden. Father, it hurts when good relationships are damaged. Thank you for a safe space to share that. We pray for this friendship to be mended, but only as you are in the midst of the process. I pray that Ellen finds comfort and direction in you as this process unfolds. If it doesn’t (because we can’t make anyone else do what we want), then may every shred of anger and hurt be replaced with wisdom, peace and compassion. In Jesus’ name.
I am having so much trouble letting go of trying to fix things over which I have no control. Please pray for God to show up as I surrender.
Lord, when we surrender you hear that cry for help, but also that cry of trust. You are near, for your Word promises that. We thank you for that, even when we may struggle with feeling it. We trust that it is true. We know that it is true.
Denise, praying with you today.
Denise, you’re not alone! I’m in that place too. Praying for you now.
Thank you for talking about trying to figure out “who you are”…..I feel so stupid to be so old and to not know “who I am.” I was such a people pleaser my whole life and in trying to be everything I thought everyone else wanted….I have very little idea of who I am or what is natural for me…..This has been the cry of my heart for several years now….thanks for the encouraging words to NOT give up….that God knows who I am…and He is slowly showing me bits and pieces…..and I claim the promise that He will restore the years the locust have eaten….Thank you speaking words of hope…..
Karen, praying with you that you’ll discover piece by piece who you are, and where God is leading you. Nothing to this date is wasted. God can and will use all of it, as you surrender to this new journey. <3
I’m trying to listen better to what God is directing me to do rather than always striving to please others (when their requests don’t match up with God’s plans for me). I’m making progress, but I sometimes still fight feelings of guilt even when I have peace about my decision.
Listening is so important, and it’s often hard to hear when our feelings or those of others are involved. I pray that you’ll find time each day just to soak in his presence, and hear his heart for you. <3
I’m struggling with on particular aspect of my husbands affair. He still works with this lady and I feel like he gets the best of both worlds. He still has me and he remains in contact with her. They are only at work for 30-45 minutes a day, but he recently told me that she has said she misses him. Am I being unrationale? Is this something I should be letting God take care of. God has gotten me this far and has been faithfully guiding me daily through his word and my daily devotional.
Father, I pray for wisdom for Tracy and for her husband as this marriage is repaired. Only you know the hearts of a man or woman. Lead this couple close to you, and closer to each other. Heal the hurt. If there are boundaries that need to be drawn, show them how to do that. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Tracy, are you working with a counselor as this marriage heals?
We did at first. He didn’t want to continue because he was embarrassed and did not want to talk to a stranger about our marital issues.
I have a Chaplin at work that I have talked to pretty regularly. I think I will go back to the counselor alone if I have to.
Thanks for the prayers.
Oh Suzie, I feel that God used your writing today to give me hope that He truly is hearing my prayers. I have spent most of my life trying to be what others have wanted me to be….and I am talking of a LONG time of living like this, as I am now, what you might say, in the “winter of my life”. You gave me hope when you said, “It is never too late to be free”. I have also struggled with the hurtful words spoken to me throughout the years and have allowed myself to believe them. I have allowed these words to also make me feel rejected by the one that is to love me. I thought that perhaps I was not forgiving the person who was saying the hurtful words because I have continue to remember them, although I have asked God to help me to forgive. Please pray that in the days that I have left I can learn to live them freely and to give to God what I can’t change. Thank you again for your wonderful words of encouragement….I am certain the God directed me to your reading today for the hope I needed.
Su
Dear Father, bless Su tonight. Help her to know the truth of who she is, which is not found in words spoken by people but rather in the WORD who is Christ Jesus, who calls her chosen and beloved! Help her to forgive not based upon the worthiness of someone else, but based upon your worthiness and love for her. Show her even a simple glimpse of the good work you are doing in her life – beneath the surface, where things yet unseen are sprouting up with perfect timing. You are always faithful and good. Help Sue to trust in you always. Remind her, above all, that your love for her does not depend on her. You loved her from the very beginning, and always have, and always will. Your love does not change. She is loved. She is chosen. She is able to overcome all things in the name of Jesus! Amen! xoxoxo
Su, I pray that you’ll listen to this conversation between me and Jennifer Rothschild. I believe it will strengthen you even more. Jennifer shares some powerful truths when we struggle to hold on to words that were never true in the first place.
https://tsuzanneeller.com/2017/05/25/me-myself-lies/
I am in a training program for my new job. I am afraid. I don’t want to do some of the things the people who are very successful at this job are telling me to do. I know I will have success if I just do what they say, but I’m not doing it.
I deserve to be financially secure. I do not have to continue the financial chaos of my childhood any longer. God brought this opportunity into my life. I am the only limit to my success.
Please God, help me let go of my fear of rejection, fear of failure, and yes, fear of success.
I’m praying for you now, Shelly. May the Lord show you each step as you rest in Him. He’ll show you the way. I’m sure of it. Praying blessing and peace over you now.
You’ve taken huge steps. Celebrate that. You can take more. We are cheering you on.
Wow, God is amazing.. .. heartfelt prayer the day before this post for help and this was exactly what I need to do
Sisters in Christ xxx
Helen, thank you for sharing that. Praying that you let go as many times as is needed, until it’s completely placed in His hands.
Like Denise, above, I know God’s calling me to let go of control and worry in new ways. How to pray for people, love them, and then just leave them in God’s hands, trusting that He is caring for them. I’ve written a new declaration for myself, “Today, I will let go of control, and trust that God is caring for….” It’s been freeing, but I’m learning slowly. Want to write on this later this summer perhaps.
Isn’t that the hardest thing to do? And yet it’s powerful. This was a tough morning, and your words reminded me of my words — which reminds me of His words. : )
Let.it.go.
Placing this one in His hands is the best thing I can do, especially when I’ve done all I know to do.
I feel I need to let go of pleasing people. Also control of finances.x
I’m having to let go of my 20 year old son who has a drug and alcohol addiction. He’s in a short term treatment facility and I’m currently searching for a long term facility that he can go to. My prayer is that God directs my path to the best facility for him and that my son will agree to go.
Lord, this is such a heavy weight for a mama’s heart. I pray that you will walk this hard valley with her (you never leave us or forsake us). Show her what is hers to do, and what is her son’s, and what is only possible through you. Give her the courage to do what she can do, and to let go of what she cannot do. Thank you that this son is marked by you. He has a plan and a purpose. We trust that, Father. Lead him to healing and a new life. Open his eyes to your love for him, and to hope. Peel away any facade that makes addiction appealing, and reveal the lies of the enemy. In Jesus’ name we pray, amen.
Hi Rachel.
I’ve been in your position and understand the ache of a mother’s heart. There is an excellent long-term facility in Carbondale, CO called Jaywalker. Perhaps it would be a good fit for your son. Praying for direction and healing.
Thanks for this message it’s something I desperately needed this week. There’s stuff that happened in my marriage 10+ years ago that I’ve forgiven my husband for but I don’t think k I’ve truly let go of and really don’t know how but am desperately trying to figure out. I want to be able to 100% trust him again and have a God filled marriage and allow God to do amazing work/things in our marriage. So the question and help I need is HOW to let go of pain, lies and the unknown and move forward once and for all. Any advice would be much appreciated. Thanks
Nancy, I held a conversation with one of my favorite authors and faith-filled women, Jennifer Rothschild, a few weeks back. I think there are some things we discussed that would be helpful as you move forward.
https://tsuzanneeller.com/2017/05/25/me-myself-lies/
Praying with you today.
Lord, sometimes it’s just bigger than us. I’m praying that these wounds are healed by you. Lord, the protective side of her is afraid of being hurt again, so walls have come up. Thank you for giving us that internal protective desire, but balance it with what is true of today. Help her open that door a little at a time, trusting, and growing and discovering new territory in her marriage. In Jesus’ name, amen.
God help me to let go of my past hurts because they are truly adding to the conflict of my new marriage. Heal my marriage and my husband and sons conflict with each other. Father you said we can do all things thru you. Give me the strength to let go and move forward in your name. Thank you for this reading today. It has truly blessed my heart.
Father, we lift Audrey and her husband to you and place them in your hands of love. You united them together, and you love them deeply. Help them as they navigate the newness of marriage. Place your love lens on Audrey and her husband. I pray they come together to seek you and grow their marriage roots in you. I also pray for Audrey’s boys and the conflict that is taking place between them. It is so difficult to see our children not get along. It weighs heavy on a mama’s heart. I pray for wisdom to be poured over Audrey as she moves forward with you and hands over her life circumstances. Thank you for understanding our needs and loving us through them. Amen.
I loved your message ” Letting Go ” I too have that problem, but I have to tell that what the comments & your replys said to me was exactly what I needed to hear. I appreciated your spider story, but hearing those women share about their husbands hurts & affairs & believing the hurting words spoken everyday. I know & appreciate about forgiveness & Jesus saying 70x’s 70, but I’m tired of hearing those hurtful words & worse, you start to believe them. He says he’s sorry & won’t do it again, but sure enough here they come again.
I heard the HS say to me as I lay
awake all ” night. ” my husband is not your God, I am. He was right on because he has been my God all my life. I take my eyes on the Lord, but he makes my life a horrific experience, I love him so much, that I run back to his kind of living & live that way until I’m so miserable, I ask God to forgive me. Back & forth I go.
The sad thing, he & I were remarried so many years ago after we both accepted Christ. Affairs, yup, rejecting me every day, yup, forgiving him, yup again & again.
Sorry this is so long, I guess I have a lot to say.