I used to think that loving someone was a feeling.
That feeling that makes you feel secure.
You just can’t get enough time with that person. You think about them. You love their touch.
I’m so glad for those emotions, but the older that I get the more I am privileged to see long term love in action, and I’ve noticed something.
Real love shows up when feelings fail to arrive.
Yesterday I sat in two hospital rooms. One where young love welcomed their first child. Another where old love received hard news.
Both of these life events will impact these couples.
That beautiful little baby will turn his parents’ home upside down with joy and diapers and late night feedings.
For the next 18 years plus, they’ll juggle their love for each other with the needs of this child. They don’t know it yet but there will be times that tempers will be short because sleep is nowhere in sight.
That’s when love is no longer a feeling.
Real love shows up at 2 a.m. when you’re rocking that child and he’s colicky.
Real love shows up as one parent sacrifices to give the other an extra hour of rest.
Real love shows up when you kiss each other gently and take time to talk, when all you really want is 10 minutes of solitude.
[ctt template=”4″ link=”drUJ0″ via=”yes” ]Real love shows up when feelings fail to arrive. https://ctt.ec/drUJ0+ #livefree @suzanneeller[/ctt]
And then there’s the couple that received hard news.
They’ve been married for over half a century. He calls her “Ma” and she doesn’t mind it. They’ve forged a life together tangled in hard work, lots of lovin’, and a sprawling family that crowds the house at Christmas.
Real love shows up when the doctor gives you three options and none of them are what you want to hear.
Real love shows up as you answer your husband’s question for the 10th time in 10 minutes, and you’re patient because you know he can’t help it.
Real love shows up as you pull a sweater over his head and put shoes on the feet of the man who once was your strong tower.
Real love shows up when feelings fail to arrive.
What does this teach us?
My feelings don’t get to tell us when or how to love those closest.
Instead, we’ll love first and let the feelings catch up.
If you want to take this topic deeper, you might love these posts.
So beautiful- thank you for sharing this much needed reminder.
This brought me to tears. I’ve been in both places you mentioned – welcoming our 1st born 35 years ago and hearing a prognosis that changed my life forever almost 13 years ago now. What a beautiful, tender post. This one is “save-, share-, and repost- worthy” – Thank you!.
Add to that “pin-worthy!”
Thank you for this beautiful reminder of what true love is Suzie!
Thank you, Sarah.
This was so beautiful. Thanks for your words of encouragement.
Beautiful words as always!
Thanks, Jodie. We walk into surgery with couple #2 on Thursday. Thank you for praying for my amazing father-in-law.
love this Suzie! Thanks for your encouraging reminder.
WOW, Suzie! This is powerful!! Thank you!
Oh, Suzie, how beautiful! Love FIRST! Absolutely!
Suzie, this is such a beautiful post. Real love is easy to talk about, but hard to demonstrate. I remember those days of rocking babies at 2:00 a.m. And now I’m at the point of calling my parents’ weekly-or more often- and sometimes listening to the same things again. I can’t wait until I feel like it. Thanks for your encouragement to do what is RIGHT.
Oh this is just beautiful! You had me with that photo but then your words and their stories brought tears to my eyes! Yes – Real Love is a choice… so glad we are neighbors over at Kelly’s place today!
I love meeting new neighbors!
So true Suzie. I learned it when my late husband had heart issues and I became his care giver instead of his wife. Only God could have helped me love him through it. I did to the very end. Thanks be to God. And now I am blessed with a new husband and love has a whole different lesson for this season of my life.
Real love is trusting a spouse of 34 years, especially on days when they’re unloving. The irony is that when we’re unlovable, is when we need love the most. On second thought, we’re never unlovable. Jesus wraps his arms around us when we’re cross and struggle with hard feelings. I love His grace!
We are never unloveable <-- what a great truth!
Thank you Suzanne. Beautiful. Of course, you didn’t know that I’ve been struggling with this very issue – but Jesus did. And so he had you deliver it to my inbox. Thank you for bringing the message of love on the wings of cyber angels.
I love my husband. I’m not “in love” with him right now. I may never be again. I made promises on my wedding day; I promised to be there. We’ve been through so much. Both hospital rooms, numerous times. In joy, and in comfort. In birth, and cancer.
You broke something loose in me today. I’m going to love, and wait for the feelings to catch up.
“Something broke loose in me today. . . ”
That makes me want to leap from my chair and dance!
Oh yes! This is a beautiful post. It made me feel. I just loved it Suzie. Thank you for joining the linkup. You are such a blessing. I am honored to have you as my friend. God loves you so much.
You just made my day, Kelly. Thank you. <3
One more thing: Thank you for being a fan and participant in the #RaRalinkup. We love reading your posts.
OK…had to keep my feelings in check on this one because tears nearly fell! Suzi, you placed the words beautifully. It’s as if you were a friend grabbing my hand and saying, “Oh sweet girl, your feelings don’t own you.” Like many, I’ve been in one of those hospital rooms and my parents “sit” in the other currently. This post touches home and is simply a beautiful reminder. Thank you!
Kristi, that’s exactly where I am — in a waiting room with the beautiful older couple I talked about in this post. It’s such a reminder to me to love today. Not to wait. Not to put contingencies on it. But to simply love and let the feelings catch up.
“Instead, I’m going to love first and let the feelings catch up.” This is going on my refrigerator Suzie…and that’s saying something. 🙂 Beautiful.
This has been my favorite post ever..not only.did your words touch my heart as I see those around me that I love so growing older and knowing they won’t be with me always but because knowing this sweet couple in the past and my how years have flown and here they are, still loving. Beautiful post and couldn’t have been more devoted folks. Keeping your family in my prayers.
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